A/N: So…I guess it's still all about the Kikyou/Inuyasha/Kagome angsting. Let's just say its yet ANOTHER situation where Kagome has to choose to save Kikyou, and Naraku is messing with her head, trying to get her to choose the wrong one.
Now, I KNOW which one she's going to choose, but I still bet you anything that Kikyou's gonna die soon. I mean, we're down to about 40 chapters left. She's gotta die sometime, so we can get all the angsting over with, so then Inu can finally choose Kagome without any regrets…
I mean, I like Kikyou, but I just KNOW that Takahashi-sama's gonna kill her off in some tragic way in the end. I think that much is just about painfully obvious.
Chapter 9: A Hanyou's Gift
Later that night, Kagome kneeled in front of the table in her and Kaede's hut, her hands set in a position of prayer. Before her were many beads, beads that she knew quite well. It's a good thing that old Kaede taught me this a while ago…
I can't believe that I'd find Inuyasha's kotodama rosary here! she thought with a slight glee. While searching around their hut, she found the beads tucked away, not strung together. Ever since then, she had gotten the idea to perhaps enchant them, and give them to Inuyasha.
It wasn't like she was afraid of him trying to kill her, it was perhaps that she missed the connection she had to him through the rosary. She also knew it would be a solution if they had any fights.
Besides, if I do get sent back, he needs to have a rosary, doesn't he? she nearly smiled at the thought, but had to get back to her concentration.
But Kagome couldn't deny that it felt a little wrong doing this. After all, as Kikyou, she barely knew Inuyasha, was it really right to put the rosary on him? Kagome knew Kikyou had never done this sort of thing, having trusted him.
But maybe I don't want to do what Kikyou wants anymore. she thought grimly, lowering her concentration to think. After all, what Kikyou wanted got her killed, and I don't want to die her death, I want to save her, and then go back…
She added in an afterthought, If I can…
Thinking about going back made her think about other things as well. What would Inuyasha as she knew him say if he found out about this little adventure? Well, after he called her stupid, reckless, and someone with a death wish, he would probably do what he did whenever Kikyou was brought up; look away.
He would, wouldn't he? Inuyasha doesn't like talking about Kikyou when I'm around, if all. If I told him that I knew everything that he and Kikyou went through, he'd probably never look me in the eye again…
While she was thinking about this, forgetting about the rosary she was supposed to be enchanting, tiny feet were heard coming closer to her. Kikyou's eyes opened and looked over to see Kaede getting closer, looking curiously at the beads in her sister's hands.
"Is that a kotodama rosary?" the girl asked interestedly. "Onee-sama, is that for Inuyasha?"
How would Kikyou explain this… Kagome looked back at the bead in her hand for inspiration. "Yes. It is a necessary evil in order to prevent a sneak attack he's likely planning." Kikyou wouldn't completely trust him yet…
While Kagome held the black bead between her fingers, she voiced her thoughts out loud. "Now, what will the subjugation command be?" At that, she couldn't help but give a small giggle, remembering how Inuyasha would slam to the ground whenever he made her mad. Of course, would 'Sit' be too obvious?
Maybe I should use something not as harsh…chuckling to herself, she mused, 'Beloved' perhaps?
But thinking of that word brought up a memory of what seemed eons ago…The miko Tsubaki, her eyes flashing red, telling her that she must give up on love.
Forgetting Kaede was there, Kagome spoke to herself softly, "Tsubaki placed a strange curse on me…" Almost joking with the idea, knowing now that there was no way she was dying when she knew about Naraku, Kagome brushed it off, "I 'walk the path of carnage', and I'm supposed to be afraid of an untimely death?"
"Onee-sama…" Kaede whispered, Kagome having nearly forgotten she was there.
Looking back at the black bead in her fingers, Kagome held a small smile on her face as she whispered, "Sit…"
The next day, true to her word, Kagome met Inuyasha in the same place they had been the day before. When she arrived in the early afternoon, he was already there, holding an anxious look on his face; he had been waiting for her.
"Inuyasha." she greeted him as he stood up from where he had been sitting on the ground.
"Kikyou." he replied, as they walked closer, facing each other, both looking a bit nervous in being in each other's presence, Inuyasha bit more than her.
He looks…unsure about something. Kagome noticed. Like he's not quite sure if he wants to do something.
After what seemed like a long silence, Kagome decided to break the ice, "You said you wanted to give something to me." she told him plainly.
Inuyasha gave a small grunt and looked away, a bit insecure. "You're right." Still looking away, he reached inside his haori, and pulled out something in his clawed hand. He looked back at her, opening his palm, revealing what seemed to be a small shell.
Kagome stared. A shell? "This is…?" she asked, not quite understanding.
"I've been carrying it, but I've got no use for it. You take it." he told her, his amber eyes beckoning her to have it, yet still looking a bit undecided.
Obliging, Kagome slowly reached for it, and placed it in her own palm, seeing that it was in fact two shells tied together to open. Curious, she opened it, finding a red balm inside of it. I see…its lip rouge…why would he have it?
Inuyasha answered her silent question. "The things my mother left were just that and this fire rat cloak."
"Your human mother…" Kagome murmured, forgetting that as of yet, Kikyou didn't know that his mother was human.
The hanyou raised his eyebrows, not expecting her to know that. "Yes, my mother was human."
Feeling an embarrassed blush come on her, Kagome silently cursed at herself. Baka! Just because he's here is no reason to forget who you are! "I guessed." She replied, making a quick recovery.
He shrugged it off as Kagome decided to speak once more and avoid forgetting her disguise once more. "You're giving me this precious thing?" she asked, looking back down at the lip rouge in her palm.
Almost embarrassed, Inuyasha turned away. "I don't mind. The fire rat cloak is useful enough for me."
I never knew it belonged to his mother, though…she thought coming closer. There's still so many things I don't know about him… And suddenly, Kagome felt regret coming on. That was his mother's, and I hit it was so many arrows in the beginning…
Kagome slowly reached out and touched his haori, recalling the feel of it like she remembered, all those times when he had held her close…all those times when he had leant it to her to protect her…
Inuyasha glanced at her, slightly surprised. "Forgive me, Inuyasha." Kikyou's voice came from her as she would have done in her former life. "Without knowing that, I've pierced it through so many times…"
A small smile sprouted on his face as he told her, "Don't worry about that!" After a pause, he added, "So, what was the thing you brought for me?"
Letting go of his cloak, Kagome reached in her sleeve where she had the kotodama rosary. But the minute she touched it, a new thought came over her. He won't hurt me…he thinks I'm Kikyou…and if I'm Kikyou…
Then there's no reason to protect myself if I don't plan on staying…
She looked back up at him with an apologetic smile. "Forgive me. I've forgotten it."
Kagome took her hand out of her sleeve and looked back at his gift as Inuyasha muttered, "What's with that? And I was all worked up about it, too."
Glancing back up at him, unable to keep herself from smiling, she asked, "Is it really okay for me to keep this?"
There was a half-smile on the hanyou's face as he replied, "Sure."
"Then…thank you, Inuyasha." Kagome told him, unable to tear away from the shell of makeup. He's so…sweet. I don't know if he was ever this sweet with me.
He was embarrassed as he turned away once more, muttering, "It…it was nothing."
Kagome knew she wasn't acting like Kikyou, but at the moment she didn't care. Not when her heart felt like it could soar. "Not to me."
The hanyou glanced back at her, amber eyes wide in surprise, while she smiled warmly back at him. Saying nothing, she turned back to leave him, walking back to the village, staring at the shell, smiling softly.
From behind her, she heard the distinguishable sound of a puzzled Inuyasha, "Keh."
Late that night, after Kaede had gone to bed and she had taken her hair out of the trademark ponytail, Kagome looked back at the shell that she had put causally on the table. Inuyasha's gift was something so small, yet even though it was not given to her, it meant the world to her.
It was nice, getting presents from him like this. Not that she expected it much, but it showed her that he cared…it was something sweet that he rarely did, and she wanted to enjoy it.
As she glanced upon it, an idea struck her. At first it seemed stupid, but since Kaede was already asleep, she guessed that it didn't matter.
Kagome reached for the mirror that she had found a while back in the hut, pulling off the cloth that covered it; Kikyou's face being revealed in the mirror. Not that it bothered Kagome much; she had seen that face on herself so many times, that it almost seemed like she had always been in that form.
She opened the shell, and dipped a finger into the red paste. Glancing at Kikyou in the mirror, Kagome watched as she spread the rouge across her lips, pulling away once it was done.
Staring at herself in the mirror, she thought, I—Kikyou looks beautiful , I never expected to see Kikyou look like this…
As Kagome stared at the beautiful woman looking back at her from the glass, a thought came upon her. No wonder Inuyasha fell in love with her…she looks so beautiful like this…not like me…
Her hands trembled holding the mirror, and she let out a small gasp…seeing tears beginning to form on the edges of Kikyou's eyes. No, that wasn't right, Kikyou never cried!
Kagome slammed the mirror back down on the table, facedown. With one hand, she wiped off the rouge, closing the shell and putting it away rather violently. As she blew out the lamp, a single tear fell on to the wick, making a sizzling sound accompanied with a small puff of smoke.
It's Kikyou Inuyasha's falling in love with, not me. And no matter how much I forget myself, I can never forget that…
A/N: I know, angst once more. But what's a good story without angst, eh?
