I wake with a startle, feeling sick. I breathe, deeply and slowly, trying to calm myself and my churning stomach. My head is killing me, a pinprick of deep, agonising pain right at the centre of my skull. The pain slowly fades as I get my bearings, the world coming into focus. As the pain fades, so does my feeling of nausea.

I settle back down into the bed, closing my eyes and trying to get back to sleep. It was still early, I could tell that much; my alarm had not gone off yet.

I feel an odd sensation run up my leg, soft and warm. It's not unpleasant, but I have no idea what it is. I peer under the covers, to find a brown tail slinking up my leg, which, as it turns out, is attached to a woman, currently sleeping next to me, in my bed.

Her eyes snap open, crimson eyes regarding me. She whispers. "Something the matter, dear?" Her voice has a refined nobility to it, yet is silky smooth, almost sultry, she sounds lewd even asking a simple question. Immediately, I recoil in shock.

Who is this woman!? Why was she in my bed!?

I jump backwards, trying to put some distance between me and the home invader, but end up colliding with something behind me, knocking the breath from my lungs. A tired groan of annoyance comes from the lump I've just backed into, and a woman with bright sapphire eyes uncovers herself and blearily looks up at me.

"What are you doing… You just woke me, dear. If you are going to roll around in bed with my sister, could it not wait?" She speaks with annoyance, her voice has a similar refinement, but with less of a sultry tone.

My eyes widen in surprise and fear, there were two of them? In my bed? What the hell was this, some kind of siren ploy?

I jump out of bed, putting my back to the wall and facing them fearfully. If they were Sirens, they could tear me limb from limb without batting an eye.

"Who are you!? What the hell are you doing in my house!?" I yell.

The brunette one quickly sits up on the edge of the bed and reaches out, turning the bedside light on. "What are you on about dear?" As my eyes adjust to this new light, I realise that the women has animal ears atop her head, fox ears, and that she doesn't have just one tail, but multiple.

She was a Sakura woman? A kitsune. So, not a siren? Then perhaps a kansen? I'd had issues in the past with some obsessed ships trying to sneak their way into my room at times. I knew Taihou was awful for it, or at least she had been until I married…

Then, at that moment, I curse myself, I had completely forgotten, in all the shock. I open my mouth to demand an answer, but the white-haired kitsune beats me to it. She steps out of bed, her sapphire eyes shining with concern and worry in the low light.

"Dear sister… something feels… wrong…" She talks to the other one, who presumably must be her sister. She then continues, looking at me, speaking in a gentle, low tone as if to try and calm a rabid beast. "Shikikan. Calm yourself, is everything ok? A bad dream perhaps?"

She steps forward, trying to get closer to me and I inch backwards. "Don't come any closer! Where is she? What have you done with her? I swear, I'll have both of you retired if you've done anything."

The fox immediately stops, looking puzzled, shooting a look at her sister, who is staring at me intently, her eyes wide with shock and worry. She takes a step back, putting her arms out in front of her, her palms towards me in a calming manner.

"Who? Dear husband."

My head spins. Dear husband? She was deluded. Utterly mad. I'd never seen them before, but it was a big port, I didn't always know every single ship by appearance alone.

Clearly, they must have developed some form of obsession with me, snuck in at night, done something with my wife, then assumed her position in the bed, kidding themselves that they were married to me.

That was wrong on so many levels. I'm both angry and scared. If they were extreme enough to do that… god knows what they had done to her…

I reply with a snarl. "I order you! Tell me where my wife is!? Where is Enterprise!?"

Their reactions are identical, their ears flatten to their scalps as they recoil as if I had hit them. The brown-haired one covers her mouth in shock, her eye's tearing up, while the other just stares at me, mouth agape.

"Where is Enterprise!? Tell me!"


They had silently kept me locked in the bedroom, using a chair on the other side so I could not depress the handle, trapping me inside. They had never answered me, and I was sick to my stomach with worry.

I had gone to bed with Enty, just like any other night. She had attempted to cook spaghetti, which had been a disaster, and she had apologized with an adorably embarrassed face.

So, we had ordered takeout, then ate it on the sofa, while watching a couple of episodes of a mildly interesting drama we were binging. We had then gone to bed, I had made to love her, and her me, and we slept in one another's arms, enjoying the afterglow.

Then suddenly, I wake up, my bed hijacked by Sakura women, with my beloved Enty nowhere in sight… I was scared, confused. I could hear the two foxes murmuring in the other room, whispering so that I could not hear them.

The way they acted… it was so odd. So realistic. They really must be obsessed, I felt sorry for them, to a degree. They were truly horrified and upset when I had yelled at them, shouted that they were not my wives, they would never be my wives. What kind of guy has two wives anyway?

I hear them greet someone, then footsteps head towards the door and I quickly back away. I hear the sound of the chair being removed, then Shinano enters the room, with the unknown foxes in tow.

I breathe a sigh of relief, oh thank god, Shinano would sort this all out. I smile at her and she smiles back. "Shinano, can you tell me what they have done with Enty? Then escort them out. I want their names as well so they can be punished accordingly."

She flashes me a sad smile, then turns to the foxes, speaking quietly. "I think you girls should go. Apologies. He seems to remember this one at least, but you'll put him on edge... I know that you shall be worried, but I will try my best."

The brunette kitsune looks at me, pure grief and sadness clear on her face as she chokes back a sob, and her sister, the white haired one, runs an arm around her, leading her back out the room.

"Shinano?" I question, what the hell was going on? Shinano certainly wouldn't be a part of any funny business, why was she ignoring my orders, siding with those foxes?

"Do you trust this one?" She asks as she steps closer. I nod.

"Close your eyes." I obey and feel her fingers on my temples, and the slight pressure as she quickly searches my memories, my dreams. It's a light pressure, an almost ticklish sensation, but right in the centre of my head.

Eventually, she stops and sighs. "I'm sorry, I cannot fix the manipulation. It is far beyond my control." She looks at me, sadness and pity deep in her eyes.

"What manipulation?" I ask confused.

"Your memories… they are false. Implanted, this one would assume by Sirens. Archiver."

"I know Archiver… she went searching through my memories. She tortured Enty, even attacked the port with another version of her."

Shinano shakes her head. "Those events did happen, but not as you remember them. I don't fully understand the differences… but they relate to your perception of your wife, or wives. Enterprise is not your wife. Those two are."

She rises, then walks out the room, flashing me another sad smile of pity as she does so. I hear her talk with the foxes outside for some time, then the white-haired fox enters the room.

Immediately, I shy away from the stranger, she notices the small action, her ears flattening further in sadness alongside a downcast expression on her face. "Shinano says that you do not remember us… You remember Enterprise in our place?"

"I…Enterprise is my wife. We were married just over a year ago." She looks at me, then shakes her head.

"She isn't… she never has been. We married you. Me and my sister."

I squirm, I don't know what to make of this. I trusted Shinano, but this was crazy, right? But I remembered Archiver, she was certainly capable of such a thing. But I don't know what to say… I had no feelings for the fox women in-front of me, even if she was my wife, I didn't know her, at all.

No memories of her whatsoever. She was a total stranger. She cared for me, that was clear from her body language, her expression. The grief in her eyes. But it meant nothing to me.

"What's your name?" I ask tentatively. And a sorrowful expression envelopes her face.

"We are Sakura Empire carriers, my designation is Kaga… and my sister is Akagi. She…" She purses her lips. "…could not face talking to you… not like this…"

It's clear she's forcing herself to interact with me as it is, the very act of our conversation hurting her, no recognition in my eyes, no love, affection, it must kill her. I can only imagine her pain, her suffering.

But then it occurs to me… I might understand… If they are my wives, then Enty is not. My Enty, the one I remember, doesn't exist.

"Does Enterprise… actually exist?" Kaga looks at me puzzled.

"Yes?"

"Can you… bring her, to me?"

Kaga's eyes widen in surprise at my request. "I… don't think that's a good idea…"

"If you truly are my wife. If you love me, you'll let me see her. Please… to my mind, she is my wife… I need to see her at least, talk to her…" I feel cruel, laying it on the poor fox-women like that, but I speak the truth.

She deliberates for but a second, then nods, tears forming in the corner of her eyes before she turns quickly, exiting the room and closing the door behind her.


Before long, I hear the foxes talking with someone in a heated tone. Eventually, after they have finished their discussion, A beautiful women with white flowing hair steps into the room. She's wearing her standard attire, cap and all. She looks just a lovely as the day we met.

Immediately I smile at her as my chest warms, and she offers me an awkward one in return. She approaches the bed, sitting next to me on the edge. "Oh thank god… Enty…" I move my hand to take wife's hand, and she blushes but does not move.

On instinct, I move myself closer, bringing my lips towards hers, as I had done so many times before, but she immediately squeals in embarrassment and recoils away from me. She looks at me with surprise, sadness… and… wanting?

But I can see it, in her eyes. That look that you develop for someone… one born of total intimate familiarity, a closeness that the two of you share. It's gone. She's Enterprise all right, that much is clear. But how much of the wife I know exists within her is unclear.

I apologize for my actions. "I… sorry. Force of habit. Seeing you… I'm just so confused at the moment."

She nods, giving me a sad smile. "I… don't know what to say… when we last spoke, I was trying to keep my distance from you…" She confesses.

I just look back at her, even though she isn't the Enty I remember, the one that presumably doesn't even exist, I still marvel at her. She still looks like her, she has her voice, her mannerisms. In fact, I could easily see the Enty in front of me becoming that wife I knew so well, with time.

"It's true… isn't it? You're not my wife…" She shakes her head sadly.

"No… I'm not… but they are." She motions towards the door, where the foxes were undoubtedly waiting.

"So in reality… we didn't become friends over the course of our missions? We didn't share drinks as comrades? We never developed feelings for one another?" I ask, genuinely not knowing the answer to any of these questions any more.

Enterprise blushes more. "I…well…I…" She stutters and splutters, unsure of what to say. It's a mood I was familiar with early on in our relationship, and my heart sinks. This version of me, the unaltered version, the true version, he hadn't fallen for her. But I could tell… she had…

I speak up, voicing my thoughts. "You love him, or should I say me? Don't you?"

Her eyes widen in surprise. But she nods slowly, her eyes shining with tears slightly. "I was never quite brave enough to admit it to him… and I like to think… he has feelings for me… perhaps… but he's married, and that's that. Those two certainly would never let me near him… but I don't blame them for that… So… It was easier to avoid him…"

"I'm sorry… He doesn't know what he's missing." I talk like he isn't me. And, I suppose… he isn't. It sounds like the 'true' me was much like me, in many ways. But I don't have his memories or his feelings for his wives.

She smiles at me. "He has two beautiful wives, and they are incredible, really. He's lucky to have them. I'm just jealous… Besides… your memories are fake. I doubt I would make a good wife…"

"Don't say that…" I say half-heartedly. I look down sadly, noticing the watch on my arm. "Hmph… I remember you giving this to me… not that long ago… I took you to your hometown… and you gave me this… although… it didn't look like this. I suppose… it wasn't actually you… was it? That Enterprise… is a lie."

The watch face I remember had been mainly white, this was a fusion of blue and red. I slip it off my wrist, flipping it to read the inscription. Of course, the inscription is the same, except for one major difference, it is signed A+K, for the two foxes outside, rather than E for Enterprise.

Enterprise nods and speaks up with a bit more force. "Regardless of how I feel, or you currently feel. You need to know something. Those memories you think you have of me… They were not me; they were never me. You choose to make those memories with them, your wives. You loved them, as they loved, and continue to love you."

She continues. "They're heartbroken… the way you demanded to see me… it killed them, the way you look at them. It's not your fault. But you need to focus on one thing, they are your wives. Not me."

"That's… easier said than done…" I sigh… this was so confusing. "You said you were keeping your distance from me? Why?"

Enterprise looks surprised at the question and blushes lightly. "It's… a long story. We both said… and did things that we regretted. Our relationship is… complicated right now. It… feels weird to even be speaking to you about it now…"

She graces me with a light smile. "I'm kind of hoping that when you get your memory fixed you won't remember any of this…"

I laugh at her candour. "Do you think they can… fix it, that is?"

She nods her head. "There's nothing they wouldn't do for you." She nods towards the door. "And that includes me, and every ship in this port. Nobody will rest until we fix it, ok?"

I find her resolute confidence reassuring and nod with a worried smile. I stand up slowly. "I… should speak to them, shouldn't I?"

Enterprise looks uncertain. "I… think so… but you should be gentle. Akagi is especially fragile right now… She relies on you, far more than she lets on. You are the one that keeps her going, keeps her on the straight and narrow. Without her husband... she's hurting. Your bond with her… it was, still is, everything to her." A flash of jealousy crosses Enterprise's visage, but she quickly covers it.

I want to hug her, kiss her, anything. Enterprise, whose appearance, voice and mannerisms are all still baked into my head as my wife's as she sits on the bed. I resist, telling myself that it's quite clear who my actual wife, or wives are. I need to accept that, even if my mind is playing tricks on me.

I gently open the door, now unblocked, and peer into the main room. It looks different than I remember. The Sakura styling is clear with some wide doorways, sliding doors and an open plan. Of course, in my head, Enterprise helped with the design, so I suppose that means it was actually the two foxes that implemented their own preferences for the housing.

The white-haired kitsune, Kaga, she called herself, is sat on the sofa, with a forlorn expression on her face. Her tails are moved to her side, I presume to allow her to sit back comfortably, but they are completely still, not even a twitch. Likewise, her fox ears atop her head lowered to her scalp in sadness, remaining still.

It's a depressing sight. I might not have any feelings for the women, but she's clearly going through a lot. I could sympathise, the love of my life for almost 10 years had just turned out to be a fantasy, a lie. But… perhaps that was easier. At least what I had lost was never real.

It still hurt, the pain in my chest wouldn't go away. I remember it all vividly, mine and Enty's first date. Our first night together, even the little things. The sweet scent of her silver-white hair, the way she would always tuck her hair behind her ear with a smile. But at least I had the luxury of telling myself, it was all an illusion. I never had that, not with her.

The two foxes don't have that comfort. What they've lost, it was real, permanent. Presumably, we had gone to bed like any other night, and they had awoken to me, screaming and yelling at them, calling them mad, scared by them. The deep weight of guilt settles on me as my mind continues to ponder.

While I couldn't be their husband, my mind was too fried, full of too much love for a life that never existed for that. I could at least try, try to respect what they had with the 'other' me and just hope that I could somehow regain my memories, for my sake, and theirs.

I walk slowly up to Kaga, slowly placing myself on the sofa next to her. She glances at me, then resumes staring ahead numbly, her mind elsewhere.

"Kaga…" I call her softly and she swivels her head, looking at me. "… I'm sorry."

A multitude of emotions cross her face. "Why? It is not your fault."

I squirm inside. She wasn't wrong, yet… "I guess I just feel guilty."

Her expression hardens as she speaks firmly. "Well don't. Blame that Siren bitch."

She looks away from me again, muttering. "I vow… when I see her… there is no pain on this earth she will not experience."

I stretch my hand out, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. She seems to appreciate the small token of affection, giving me a sad smile. Undoubtedly it probably reminded her of many similar touches in the past. I feel like I should hug her, hold her tight. But I cannot, while I feel sorry for her, that's all it is. Her husband should be the one to comfort her like that, not me, not the person I am right now.

"Where is your sister?" I ask gingerly.

"She fought bitterly with Enterprise when she arrived… my dear sister is not taking this development… well. She… is taking some time to process… She's in the dojo."

I thank her and stand up, heading towards the door I guessed contained the dojo. Kaga speaks quietly as I do. "Please… be careful… You may do more harm than good." I nod my assent.

I slide the odd Sakura style door open and enter the dojo. As I suspected, in my memories this room was our gym. Enterprise occasionally used it, but it never saw much use. In reality, it seemed much the same, there were some differences, no running machines, and a large open space at the end of the room, I assume for sparring perhaps.

My gaze settles on the brunette fox at the end of the room. She is curled up into a ball on the tatami flooring. Her ears perk up slightly when I enter the room but swiftly droop back down.

I approach her cautiously until I'm a few feet away. I kneel so that I'm roughly level with her. Akagi raises her head, her crimson eyes are filled with tears as she regards me. "Dear hus…" She falters, calling me her husband by habit. "…Shikikan."

I feel uncomfortable. I didn't really know what to say. I don't know why I had even come to see her. I just felt like I should, like I owed it to her.

She looks at the floor. "Do you love her?"

It's clear she means Enterprise. "I… yes. But I'm also aware that my life with her, my memories, it's all fake."

She nods her head and looks up with hope in her eyes. "Then you know, that you are mine? My husband. My love."

I hesitate. I did not wish to give the poor kitsune false hope. I reply in a low, sympathetic voice. "I know that… But I don't feel that. Sorry. But I'll try… try my hardest to get my memories back. To remember you."

She doesn't reply, a devastated look falling on her visage as she retreats back into her shell, looking at the ground once again. This was a mistake, why had I even come in here? I was just hurting her more than she already was.

I hear the door slide open behind me, and I turn to find Enterprise has cautiously entered the room. Immediately Akagi's demeanour changes. Gone is the grieving wife, the lost fox. Her sadness fuels her rage as she stands with a growl and leaps at Enterprise.

I shout, but she's no longer listening. Enterprise's eyes widen in surprise, and she raises her arms to defend herself, but the Sakura carrier is too fast. She grabs her by the neck roughly and shoves her into the wall. The breath is knocked from Enterprise's lungs as she hits the wall, leaving a sizeable dent in the structure.

Akagi snarls, holding her there as Enterprise claws at the hand choking her. "You… You… did this! You silver-tongued pest! You return, after months, and suddenly, gone is my husband, my life. In my place is the memory of you, his love for you!"

I'm shouting at Akagi, but she just ignores me, I don't even know if she can hear me. She's so focused on taking out her pain on the girl in front of her. Enterprise should be able to fight her off. But I can see it, in Enty's eyes, she doesn't want to. She feels sorry for Akagi, she knows she's grieving and doesn't want to hurt her. So, she simply offers up a meagre resistance, basic self-preservation, nothing more.

"He calls for you, and you are all too happy to oblige, you come to my house, offering your sympathies, your condolences, all the while you smile behind my back, pleased with yourself! What did you do! Make a deal with that Siren whore!? Have you lusted after him this whole time! MY HUSBAND! HE IS MINE!"

Enterprise chokes and splutters, trying to speak, but the hand crushing her windpipe will not allow it. Her face is starting to look dangerously pale and her eyes unfocused.

I rush up to Akagi, trying to stop her. She growls at me, a rabid shine to her eyes and pushes me aside with her spare arm. She's so angry, she puts more strength behind her push than she intends, sending me flying across the room and into the floor.

I feel a crunch down my left arm as I land on it and I can't help but let a painful yelp at the impact. Fuck it hurts. At the sound of my pained voice, Akagi immediately drops Enterprise to the floor, looking towards me, horror written across her face.

Her face has lost its rabid look, now only shame, guilt and concern remain. She rushes over to me and runs her hands over my body. "Oh my dear. Oh… I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me… I…" Her hand presses onto my arm and I grit my teeth and hiss at the sudden pain. She recoils, horrified that she has hurt me.

Kaga then steps through the door, quickly appraising the situation. She kneels, helping Enterprise back up. "Sister. What is the meaning of this?"

"I… I'm sorry…" She whispers, backing away from me and sitting back down in her previous spot, staring at the floor.

Kaga strides up to me, ignoring the fact that her sister did not respond to her. She helps me up, guiding me towards the door along with Enterprise. I can hear Akagi sobbing behind me as we leave the room.

Kaga speaks harshly to Enterprise. "I told you Grey Ghost. It was a bad idea."

Enterprise flinches as the fox reprimands her and mutters. "Sorry… I thought I could speak to her… say… something."

"Are you ok at least?" Kaga asks, her voice still overtly hostile. Enterprise just nods demurely in return.

The fair-haired carrier checks my injury over, being careful as she feels the joint that connects my shoulder and arm. "It's just dislocated." Then, without any warning, she holds me in place and snaps my arm back into it's socket.

I yelp at the sudden unexpected pain. Though, the second she's finished, it feels much better. She smiles at me faintly. "Sorry. It's better if you don't know it's coming, stops you tensing up." I nod, thanking her.

A loud electronic beep rings from the side and Kaga's ears perk up momentarily before settling back to their sad state. She walks over, picking up the PDA that produced the noise and scrolling through something quickly.

She turns to me. "We've received a radio communication. From Archiver."

Archiver sent us a message? Sirens almost never communicated with us, except in person.

I speak up. "What does it say?"

Kaga looks at me, her pain at my condition still clear as day, but she powers through. "It concerns you… She says that if we want your memories back, then we should bring you to a location. She sent coordinates. Only you, Enterprise, me and my sister. Nobody else."

"It could easily be a trap…" Enterprise exclaims.

Kaga bristles at her input, tails puffing up. "Of course, it could be. Do you take me for a fool? But do we really have any choice?"

"I understand that. But we need to be careful. The Commander's life is on the line!"

The Sakura carrier growls loudly, staring daggers at Enterprise. "What exactly do you accuse me of? Do you not think I know that? That I simply do not care about my husband's life? How dare you."

Enterprise looks like she's about to retort with some sharp words herself, so I quickly speak up. "We should go. Keep a fleet nearby, in case things go sideways. I… I want my memories back…"

I look at Enterprise, my eyes lingering on the lack of an Oath ring on her finger. "My… real memories."

Enterprise looks at me with sadness and nods reluctantly. "You are the Commander, if that's what you want."

"My sister needs to come as well. We have all been summoned by her. I'll talk to her." Kaga brushes past me towards the room we had just exited, where the faint sound of sniffling can still be heard.

"Should I…?" I feel like I need to ask. I would have no idea what to say to fox women. The sheer rage and violence I had just witnessed from Akagi shocked me. I understood she was going through a lot, but still? Would I really have married someone who was capable of such things? Nonetheless, as the source of her pain, I feel somewhat responsible and that I should offer my assistance in some way.

Kaga just looks back at me shaking her head, I think she can see it, in my eyes, the doubt. "And please. Don't judge her too harshly. My sister… she was not always the woman she is now… neither was I. You made us want to better. And without her husband to lean on, to love her… my sister is crumbling."

She speaks with pure sadness. Even though she talks about her sister's woes, it's quite clear she is having trouble keeping herself together, given the situation. She must be incredibly strong-willed.

She opens and closes the door behind her and I can hear the faint sounds of her speaking to her sister. I do not listen in, out of respect, instead opting to move further away, sitting on the sofa.

Enterprise follows me over, sitting on the other end of the sofa and giving me an awkward smile. With just the two of us, sat in what felt to me like our home, our sofa, my body wants to get closer to her. To hug her, to hold her. Run my hands down her toned thighs, peel those knee-high socks down her long legs, as I had done many times before as she gasps at the faint contact.

But I force myself to stop, pushing the thoughts from my mind. She had never done that. I had never done that. Nonetheless, I'm incapable of fully stopping myself. I turn to her, moving slightly closer. She doesn't pull away as I bring my fingers up to her neck, tracing the bruise that Akagi has left there.

She blushes in response, her breathing speeding up. Her attention completely on my touch. "Are you ok?" I ask concerned.

She flashes me a reassuring smile. "I'm fine… It doesn't hurt. And I agree with Kaga, don't judge Akagi. I may not get on with them, but I will admit. They have always been loyal to you, and they have tried their best to make amends for what they've done in their past. I've doubted them many times, but never once have my doubts proved true."

I nod distracted, inching my body towards her again, until I'm sitting next to her. I move slightly, so our thighs are touching. She narrows her eyes at me in confusion. "Commander?" I can see it, she's nervous. My hand is still caressing her neck softly, her pale skin so soft, just touching it feels intoxicating.

I should stop. I really should. She wasn't my wife. Hell, she wasn't even my lover. But even if it's by manipulation, I felt things for her, and it's clear she feels for me. I can't stop myself. My hand glides to her bare shoulder, stroking the soft skin soothingly as I lean in. I pucker my lips, leaning forwards and closing my eyes, waiting for the wet touch of her lips against my own.

Then, I remember Kaga's face, rife with grief. My wife. Akagi, her face contorted in emotional pain. Also my wife. I might not feel things for them. I might not remember them. But they were still my wives, that fact didn't change. These feelings for Enty, some of it may well stem from the original me. But to disregard my wives so casually, focussing entirely on Enty. That was the manipulation. That was what she wanted. To sow discourse, to play with us and our emotions.

I pull back from her and murmur an apology. I feel incredibly guilty. I hadn't done anything. I had stopped myself, but I had been so close. Enterprise herself is watching me with a strange look, I think she was just about to stop me, but I had pulled back before she could push me away forcefully.

Then, she does the last thing I expect. She laughs. It's a short, light laugh, but it's music to my ears. "Sorry... it's just funny. There was a time I did the exact same. I thought better of it and ran from you, embarrassed to my core." Her expression sharpens as a serious aura descends on her. "But..."

"...you shouldn't have tried to do that. Just like I shouldn't have when I tried. Although I guess you came to that conclusion yourself?" I nod and she continues. "I understand that I can't have you. I always have. Does it hurt? Yes. Sometimes my jealousy gets the better of me and I act rashly, emotionally. But you are happy, or at least you were, before all this. That was the main thing. I would never let you destroy what you have with them for my sake. That's why I keep my distance. Do you understand?"

"I... do. But, didn't you say the old me, he had feelings for you too?" I ask.

She smiles faintly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Maybe. Honestly, I don't know. We were good comrades, we spent many days and nights together. Trusted each other with our lives. We have a bond, forged in war, and after a while, I wanted that bond to be more..." Her blush worsens and she looks away briefly. "But then he met them. His wives. I was jealous. I admit. And I didn't trust them, they were Sakura carriers after all. I had heard stories about them, about their past. But they were good to him, to you. So eventually, I backed off. I never voiced my feelings, they did and therefore he married them. Do I still love him? Yes. But he's married. They love you just as much as I. Possibly even more so. I did try to kiss him at the gala, I was drunk, and I just about managed to stop myself. It was a mistake, a lapse of control and judgement."

All this talk of him / me is confusing me. The past me vs the present me. We are one and the same, yet different in the ways that count. Because, what is the core of a person, if not a collection of their experiences, their memories? Enterprise is bearing herself to me, admitting her feelings for the other me, yet also making sure that the present me knows, that I cannot love her.

"Who knows... he already has two wives... If he does have feelings for me... I wouldn't mind... being the third. But I don't want to be an affair. A side piece. I could never do that to Akagi or Kaga. It would have to be with their blessing... not that they will ever give it..."

"...so... I guess what I'm trying to say... the point I'm trying to make is... don't. Just don't. Don't try to kiss me. Get close to me. You'll only hurt them more than they are already. And you'll hurt me too. I know your hurting too. Your memories are fake, your world is churning. But focus on one thing, and one thing only. Getting your life back, with them." I nod gently at the women who has just bared all her innermost thoughts and feelings to me. I understand.

She loved him but had no wish to hurt him or his wives, so kept her distance. The only way she would ever receive the love she desperately wanted was with the foxes consent, and that seemed unlikely at best. Me in this twisted, manipulated form, one where Enty was my wife in fake memories. It hurts them, all three of them. The foxes hurt because of their lost husband, who has been torn away from them, not in body, but in soul. And Enty hurts because she's cruelly reminded of what she can never have, but so desperately wants.

Was this Archiver's plan? Was that the point? To make us hurt, to torture all of us in our own little ways? Matters of the heart were an effective method, but why?

I jump as I hear the door slide open on the other side of the room and quickly shuffle away from Enterprise, putting some distance between us. Kaga steps through the doorway with a solemn-looking Akagi following her, head bowed and tails drooping.

She glances up at Enterprise and whispers a quiet apology. Enterprise simply nods in understanding. She didn't blame her, she just felt sorry for her. Akagi also shoots a quick look at me, quickly looking away in both embarrassment and shame. My heart aches for the poor women. She might have gone too far in there, blaming Enterprise, but she was so clearly broken in body and soul, that it was hard to hold it against her. Equally, Kaga cannot hold my gaze for more than a few seconds, the pain etched on her face. I needed to get my memories back. For me. And them.


Endnote:

So, here we are, this fic is now fully up to date with the original Ao3 version. I'm working on Chapter 14 slowly, but it's still got a long way to go. I'm also working on a DoY fic and the third chapter of a smutty spin-off to this fic. Both of those fics are on Ao3 currently, I might bring them over eventually, we'll see. If you want to read them, just search for my username (kas110) and Ao3. (Don't want to link it incase outside URL's aren't allowed)

I won't lie, most of my attention is given to Ao3, as I find it far more user friendly and posting here is very much just an afterthought. Nonetheless, I want to take the chance to thank those who have followed/favourited this fic on here, as previously mentioned, this was my first fic and it's great that people seem to enjoy it. So thanks a lot! :)

Also: New Major Eagle Union Event? Methinks we might be getting a UR Missouri? I certainly hope so.