A/N: My computer must not like fanfiction. Because it always decides to do down whenever I'm trying to write it.
Well, we're getting pretty close to the end! If you've seen the episode, then you know how close. It's kinda weird writing it like this though, since it seems so fast. After all, the episode was supposed to take place over an entire year.
Geez…being Kikyou as a year? I'd definitely forget myself…
Chapter 13: Shadow of the Spider
"I was on my own since I was five, I suppose." Inuyasha told her, his amber eyes glazed over in memory. "My mother died because she was sick, and the village decided to throw me out."
"Oh…" Kagome replied, looking down. She had heard this story before, of course, but nevertheless, whenever she heard it, she felt a rush of pity for him.
"Don't you dare feel sympathy for me. I don't want it." He ordered, his eyes serious.
Looking back up at him, she shot back, "I know that, Inuyasha." They held each other's gaze for only a moment, Kagome feeling her heart begin to race as she stared into those sparkling amber orbs she loved so much…before they both looked away and continued to walk around the forest outside of the village.
They had gotten back to the village late the night before, and they didn't have much timeto chatalong the road. However, that morning, Inuyasha had come by to talk. It seemed like after their trip, he seemed much more inclined to speak with her, more than he ever had.
And Kagome couldn't help it. Though she had wanted to avoid him to avoid heartbreak, she wanted to speak with him too. She had forgotten through all the time she had been Kikyou how nice it was just chatting with him like this.
Perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing that he thought her Kikyou after all. Kikyou would eventually come to love him anyway, so she wasn't afraid of showing her feelings…to a point, that is.
Kikyou's dark eyes glanced back at him as she asked, "And you never knew your father?"
The hanyou looked back at her, shaking his head slightly. "No. Mother told me he died the night I was born."
Kagome could help but sigh sadly at that. Her own father had died in a car accident four years ago. She knew the pain of having to lose a father like that…But she assumed that never knowing him must have been worse. "I'm sorry."
"I told you not to be sorry." He reminded her gruffly. "Anyway, Mother said that he died saving both of us that night. I guess I should be proud that I'm the son of him, even if I never knew the old man."
"I guess." Kagome noticed that he was holding back on one key figure in that story: Sesshoumaru. Did Inuyasha never tell Kikyou he had an older brother? An older, full youkai, half-brother that wanted to kill him? "I should think your father would be proud of having you for a son as well."
Inuyasha glanced back at her, his eyebrows slightly raised, as if waiting for something. But what? After a second of this uncomfortable scrutiny, he shrugged. "I suppose…So, what about you?"
"What?" she asked, not quite knowing what he meant. They stopped walking for a moment, while he explained.
"Well, we walked for a bit and talked about me, Kikyou. What about you?"
They continued walking at their slow pace. "Oh…" she began, glad that she had acquired the story from bits and pieces of conversationshe and Kaede hadovertime. "My parents both died from a youkai attack on the village…Kaede was so young when it happened, that I bet she doesn't even remember. That was when I decided to be a miko, so that I could be strong enough to fight youkai next time they came near."
Inuyasha glanced at her, with a slightly surprised look in his eyes. "For revenge?"
Kagome fought the urge to have a smirk on her face as she shook hear head. "Of course not. I wanted to help people, Inuyasha. I didn't want anyone else's parents in the village stolen because of some rouge youkai."
Inuyasha grunted, not really knowing what to say. "Noble."
Looking down, Kagome spoke not only of Kikyou as she replied, "Yes, but mikos must close off many of their feelings in order to fight youkai. Sometimes…it feels lonely. Like I am all alone, despite everyone who I protect. I am different from all of them, separated. It is as if I want to reveal that I am not who I appear to be outwardly, but can't..."
Kagome had her eyes back on the village, as a breeze rippled through the forest, the leaves singing in the wind while they both stood in silence, she aware that he was watching her with those golden eyes. "Maybe we're not so different." Inuyasha muttered.
"What?" she turned around sharply, to see Inuyasha like she had never seen him before. His tone was low, full of purpose…and his eyes…was she really seeing what she thought she saw in his eyes?
"We're not so different after all." He repeated, still giving her that horrible, wonderful look. "We both feel lonely…and are separated from the world."
Nodding, she answered, unable to turn away from his spellbinding eyes, "Yes, but it is nice to have someone to be lonely with…"
Another breeze came through the fields, neither of them looking away for a while. However, once Kagome felt a blush blossoming on her face, she had to turn away. Kikyou never blushed. When she turned, she saw the sun was already high in the sky, signally late afternoon. "It's that late already?" she gasped, not having realized how much time they had spent walking and talking. Turning back to the hanyou, she said quickly, "I'm sorry, Inuyasha, but I have to go find Kaede now. I have to learn how everything went in our absence."
Nodding, he removed that look in his eyes that made her heart race, and replied, "I understand…I guess I'll see you around then."
"Right." She replied, noting the silence after she spoke. It seemed that neither of them wanted to leave.
Of course, both of them noticed the uncomfortableness of the situation. And finally, Kagome decided to turn away and walk quicker than she usually did back, hoping Inuyasha's hanyou ears didn't pick up hear pounding heart.
Not that this was unusual, oh no, she didn't think a week went by without her heart pounding around him. But as Kikyou however, the rules changed.
Despite however giddy it made her feel towards the end, Kagome was determined to put that conversation behind her. After all, she was supposed to be finding a way back to her own time, not falling in love with him all over again!
I could keep myself in my disguise before he showed up, Kagome thought grimly. But add him to the mix and everything changes…
She found that more and more often, it was easy to forget that she was in the form of the woman she was reincarnated from, instead of the woman herself. Now, more than ever, she was in danger of loosing herself in Kikyou, to eventually forget who 'Kagome' was and end up living in her current body.
After all, was there really a guarantee that she could get back? Would she end up spending the rest of her life as Kikyou?
And if I did…would it really be so wrong of me to let Inuyasha love me like this?
Kagome instantly banished the thought. Of course it would be wrong! It would be leading him on…lying to him. I couldn't do that, even if I was stuck here for life…
She found Kaede by the river, picking herbs. "Onee-sama!" she called out to her older sister when she spotted her coming down to the bank.
"Kaede." Kagome greeted her, bending down to help gather the herbs. "I never had a moment to ask you before, how did everything go while Inuyasha and I were gone."
"Everything went well, onee-sama." Kaede assured her, a smile on her small face. "One of the villagers sprained their ankle in the fields, but I helped them."
Kagome chuckled, collecting the needed herbs in her arms. "I'm sure you did."
The girl's grin grew wider as she continued, "I made a paste out of that painkilling herb like you showed me, onee-sama, and they said the pain went right away."
Looking back, Kagome smiled at her younger sister. "You did well Kaede. You'll be a great miko someday." And don't I know it…she mentally added.
"Not as good as you, onee-sama!" Kaede told her with a smile.
"Perhaps you shall be surprised, Kaede." Kagome added, raising herself to her full height to look back at the village, bundle of herbs in her arms. "So that's it? No other problems?"
Kaede nodded. "None." But suddenly, her eyes went wide in a memory, and her smile lowered. "Except…"
Kagome felt a sense of foreboding. "What is it, Kaede?"
The girl shuffled her feet, looking down at the ground. "That bandit…you told me to feed him, and when I did he…said something."
Kagome couldn't help but show alarm on Kikyou's face. "What did he say, Kaede?" she demanded, as if life depended on it.
And given her current situation, it probably did.
Kaede paused, and then looked back at her sister, slight fear in her eyes. "Onee-sama…he asked me if you carried the Shikon no Tama. I asked him about what he knew about the jewel, and then he said that all sorts of bad men are after it."
Thinking quickly, Kagome processed this information in her mind. So, Onigumo revealed that he was after the Shikon no Tama…the thought that Naraku was spawned from. But had she waited too long and he had turned to Naraku yet? "What else did he say, Kaede?"
The girl continued, "I asked him if he was after it as well, onee-sama. He didn't answer but he…he said that the jewel becomes evil when it absorbs bitter blood…and he liked it."
A shiver came down Kagome's spine. Obviously, Onigumo was every bit as creepy that Naraku could be. It was hard to believe that he was human when he obviously had no humanity left in him…probably why it was so easy to turn him into a hanyou.
"I told him that you were purifying it, onee-sama, and that it wouldn't become evil. But then he…He said he wanted to see you looking troubled, onee-sama! He…he really liked that…" The little girl shuddered. "And then I got this feeling, onee-sama…Like there was an evil presence nearby."
Whatever creepy feeling she had before was replaced with a shudder of disgust. It was no wonder Kikyou kept saying that she wanted to be the one to kill Naraku, with him saying things like this. Because Kagome knew if Naraku ever said these things about her (Well, after Inuyasha killed him a few times), she would want to kill him in the most horrific way possible.
Sighing, Kagome bent down once more to gather herbs. Wearing the mask of Kikyou to keep herself from appearing troubled in front of the young girl, she replied, "I see. Onigumo said that sort of thing."
She stood up once more as Kaede revealed to her, "Onee-sama, I hate him."
Kagome wanted to tell her that she hated him too, but it would not do. Kikyou didn't hate anyone. Well, during her life, anyway. Despite whatever Kikyou had said to Kaede in actually, Kagome had to say her few words. "You shouldn't hate, Kaede." She looked back at her. "Hatred makes a pure heart evil, like Onigumo."
Kaede seemed a bit surprised. "Onee-sama, don't you dislike him too?"
Sighing, and looking up at the clouds, she admitted, "I do not trust him, Kaede. And yes, sometimes I do dislike the man's character. But I cannot hate him. My conscience will not allow it."
Deciding to change the subject, she smiled at the girl. "Let's go back to the village Kaede. We shouldn't worry about this now."
And with that, the two sisters walked back to their hut in the village, deciding to forget about him for now. Though Kagome had a vague idea that deciding to forget about Onigumo for the time being was a big mistake…
A/N: Oh, I always keep you guys on your toes, don't I? Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha!
