CHAPTER 105, ON THE OCEAN
Tourist Third Promenade Deck
RMS Olympic
Wednesday, April 9, 1930
Bates had felt ridiculous when, several weeks earlier, Novello and Thomas dragged him from shop to shop in London like two giggly schoolgirls dressing and undressing their favourite dolly. Today, however, he found himself enjoying a strut about the deck in his burgundy coat, grey flannels, and spectators. Under the brim of his new fedora, he observed – but did not acknowledge – the admiration of several attractive woman, members of the over-30 set.
A pleasant breeze introduced itself to the strolling passengers, and Bates lifted his face to make its acquaintance. He leaned on Old Ram and gazed at the gulls as he recalled that tortuous day of shopping and the conversation he happened to overhear.
"Thank god we're almost done, Thomas. I can't bear to be in that man's company much longer."
"Ivor! I thought you liked my Bonnie John."
"Like him! I worship him!"
"You're joking."
"I'm not."
"Since when?"
"Since that time he was showing me how to play Liliom and shoved me against the wall. I told you about that."
"That was years ago!"
"I know, but what's changed? He's still so masculine ... so ..."
"So married!"
"His figure's trimmer, isn't it? I notice things like that.
"He's taking care of himself for the sake of his wife and children, not yours!"
"Must you be a spoil-sport?"
Thomas had been in a gay mood all that day, but now Bates could hear his tone change. "I'm warning you, Ivor. Behave yourself."
"I'm not an animal, darling. But if you and I weren't friends, I do believe I'd have to devour that man."
Bates had been shocked by Ivor's words ... truly shocked ... truly unwilling to admit to himself how much they pleased him. He avoided an awkward encounter with the two men by quietly backtracking a few steps and announcing his return from the dressing room with a loud complaint. "This blazer's too young for me. The stripes make me look as though I'm trying to be a collegiate."
Novello stepped so close, he and Bates almost touched noses. "I think you look delicious."
"Ivor!" snapped Thomas. "If you're not going to be helpful, you may leave."
"Thomas!" chided Bates.
Novello laughed. "It's all right, John. I've been teasing him. See?" He drew his index finger down Thomas' pursed lips. "He's pouting." He took a few steps back and studied Bates. "You're right about the blazer. No need for you to be something you're not. John Bates is plenty! Let me see what else André has that we can squeeze into your budget."
Bates waited until Novello was out of earshot. "Don't you think I can take care of myself, Pooh?"
Thomas shrugged. "I think you're naïve when it comes to Ivor."
"I'm a big boy."
"That may be, but you're not used to playing with boys like him."
"Aren't you sweet, trying to protect me." Bates gave Thomas' cheek a tweak.
"And aren't you an old goat, trying to annoy me!" Thomas turned and stomped after Ivor.
Bates was chuckling at the memory when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to find Thomas carting a dozing Emilia on his shoulder. Timothy's curly head appeared from behind Thomas' leg. "We're sailing, Daddy! Aren't we Uncle Pooh? Aren't we on the ocean now?"
"Yes, Tadpole, we're on the ocean," Thomas answered patiently. "Were you looking for us, John? We've been exploring the ship, but Emilia didn't quite make it to the end."
"Anna says it's time for their nap."
"Thank god," mouthed Thomas, making Bates laugh. The two men herded Timothy back to their cold water cabin and put the boy and Emilia to bed at opposite ends of a lower bunk. Theirs was a 4-bunk cabin.
Thomas pulled off his coat and waistcoat and refreshed his face at the sink that stood between the bunks. Thomas had suggested they travel second class, but Bates and Anna flatly refused. They knew Thomas would have chosen tourist third or even third class if he were travelling alone. They insisted the family could manage the crossing in one tourist third cabin.
Bates hung his coat and hat on a peg. "You've done a good job exhausting our little hell-raisers, Pooh. They're already asleep."
Thomas pulled a packet of plain biscuits from his coat pocket and set it on the shelf above the sink. "Emilia's already had a bit of seasickness. The biscuits helped."
"I'm glad you thought to bring them," replied Bates as he sat on the bunk opposite the children, careful to avoid bumping his head.
"It was Old Lady Grantham's suggestion."
"I'll send her a note when we arrive and thank her. Sit down, Pooh. You'll be chasing after our little tribe again before you know it."
Thomas eased himself next to Bates. "You should have seen the other passengers when Emilia read the dining room sign."
"She wasn't showing off, was she? You know how Anna worries about that."
"She wasn't, John."
"And you weren't showing her off?"
"No, I haven't done that since Anna put the fear of god into me." Thomas yawned, causing Bates to follow suit. "She was curious, that's all. She wanted to know what the sign said, and she figured it out. She already knew room and -ing. She sounded out d-i-n. She said, din ... ing ... din ... ing ... dinning room ... dining room! She's something, isn't she?"
"She's my little darling, Pooh. Anything more than that is icing on the cake."
"Don't say cake! Walking in the sea air made me hungry."
"Good. I expect to see you eat everything that's offered at tea. Understood?"
"Yes, dear."
Bates chuckled, but he felt the old anxiety. For nearly three years now, Thomas had been sailing on an even keel, and he did not like to see clouds gathering. He lifted Thomas' chin with his finger. "You didn't sleep last night, did you?"
"What could I do, John? There was so much to think about. I know we've been waiting a long time for this day, but I can't help but think Levinson's daft to send for us now. Who's going to have money for fancy hotels when everyone in the states is losing their job?"
"Levinson's clever enough to still have money in his pocket. We both know he wasn't the one on your mind."
"All right."
If you're upset about yesterday, you can tell me, Pooh."
"I know, John."
Thomas leaned back, and the brothers sat in peaceful silence. Bates had almost drifted off when Thomas leaned forward. "My shoulder. Do you mind, John?"
"Which?"
"The left."
Bates pressed the palm of his hand against Thomas' back in small circles to find the tension. "There it is." He began to knead.
Thomas sighed heavily. "You always find the spot."
"I'm becoming an expert."
"John ...?"
"Hmm?"
"What's wrong with me?"
"Your shoulder you mean? My little darling's too heavy for you to lug about a ship."
"You know what I mean, John. They're my friends. Why can't I be happy for them? I want to be. I'm trying to be."
"We can't control how we feel, Pooh. You know that. It's how we behave in spite of our feelings that matters, and you behaved admirably."
"It should have been me, John."
"You don't love her. Not that way."
"I know, but I wanted to. I never wanted anything more in my life."
Bates took hold of Thomas' ear and gave it a gentle tug. "Don't exaggerate, Pooh. You have other dreams. This family has other dreams."
"Yes, dear."
The pair laughed, and Bates stood and retrieved his coat and hat. "I'd better find Anna. She must be wondering if we fell overboard." He paused at the door. "I like the new clothes, Pooh."
"Will wonders never cease."
Bates laughed again as he closed the door behind him. He thought for a moment and then headed for the tourist third lounge that held a small library. Perhaps Anna's choosing a good book for the trip. He pictured his wife's face, flush with excitement about their trip. Bates was excited too. Excited but terrified. He picked up his pace, determined to leave his fears in his wake. I've survived war in South Africa, prison, and the threat of the hangman's noose. Surely I can survive New York City.
