Munchies
Sparda was sitting in an armchair in the front room watching a TV programme that he had switched on at random. He'd been doing that for ages. He was bored out of his skull and could find absolutely nothing to keep himself occupied. He had already read every book in the house so there was no point heading to the shelf. Every weapon he had was already sharpened to within an inch of their lives as well as having their metal polished and leather oiled. The laundry had already been done. The garden was tended. The boys and their mother were out shopping so he couldn't play a game. The washing up was dealt with. The house was clean. The computer was out having a 'check-up'…the TV was all he head left.
And nothing was on.
He clicked on a button without looking and some programme about the Second World War came up. He soon lost interest. Then he found a channel with racing but flicked off when no one crashed. He had no desire to watch an hour-long special on arts and crafts nor did he wish to sit through The Sound of Music. After seeing part of a re-run of Diagnosis Murder his eyes glazed over and he fell asleep. He awoke to a cookery programme that was trying to tell him how to properly roast lamb shanks.
At the sight of the tender, juicy, steaming meat he suddenly found his stomach rumbling as if it hadn't been filled for a week. Though the house was empty he still felt embarrassed to have his digestive system make such a loud, long and aggressive noise.
He was hungry. He figured that getting something to eat would whittle away some time before the kids and wife got home to keep him company.
He made a b-line for the kitchen and briefly considered cooking something…no, that would take too long and the smell would make his hunger even worse. So, first he opened up the cupboard and reached for what was left of the biscuits…followed by a few fig rolls. That wasn't satisfying though, and now his throat felt dry so he opened up the fridge and took a good look at the cold bounty within. He grabbed a carton of milk from the door and downed it before scarfing an entire packet of beef jerky. Next in line for the trip to his complaining stomach were a chocolate bar, a ham sandwich (he had to make that one) and finally two Pepperamis. After discovering that not even that could quell the noises within he microwaved a tin of spaghetti hoops and mini hot dogs. That lasted all of five minutes before the bowl was empty and he found he had dripped tomato sauce down his front.
There wasn't really anything else left. That was the whole reason that Eva and the boys were out shopping. There was, in fact, only one thing left really.
He looked at the fridge again.
If he ate that though, Eva would kill him.
His stomach tightened and burbled pathetically as if it was about to collapse into nothingness.
'Stuff it' he thought to himself and reached into the fridge.
-A Few Minutes Later
Dante, Vergil and Eva filed inside, dragging shopping with them.
"Sparda, would you possibly mind giving us a hand here?" Eva called out, as she started dragging the bags through the front room.
"Mmmf?" was the rather guilty little noise the Legendary Dark Knight made as she saw him perched on the kitchen worktop with a large plate on his lap.
"Oh my god!" she screeched. "How could you! That was for tonight!"
"I'm sorry." He wailed. "But I was so hungry I thought I'd die!"
"There were other snacks in here!"
"I ate them too."
"I don't know what's worse." She said, hands on hips. "That fact you're eating the Sunday roast, or that you're eating it raw."
End
Author's Note – Aww, he's such a carnivore. Mmmm…lamb…I like lamb. I'm hungry too now…
I'm glad people seem to like these and I can only hope you'll like any more that happen to turn up. I think I'll try and do the flu idea too, Biohazard, as I already have something like that which I was going to use for Half Moon…but it would be better in Growing Pains. I wanna do something with the boys at school and a few others, including one or two of Ri2's suggestions. Again, if you got an idea please let me know
Oh, and Scorch the hedgehog; yeah, I heard. I think it's out in Japan end of this year. And a DMC4 should be on the PS3 when it arrives. Oh…so far away…
And Meirelle; the towel was originally going to be pink…but I changed my mind. I just couldn't do that to him.
