Chapter Forty-Nine - One Night In Heaven

"So, what do you reckon to the place?" asked Death, after Lana's first night in Heaven.

"Well, I'm kind of disappointed," admitted Lana.

Death looked at Lana in surprise. "Disappointed? You met your parents - I thought you'd be ecstatic."

"Well, it was great meeting them at first, but my Dad keeps treating me like a child."

"Well, it'll take some time," explained Death. "You've got to remember that you were just a small child when he last saw you. At least your Mom's treating you like an adult."

"That's even worse," moaned Lana. "She's catching up on a decade and a half of missed girl talk. If she's not confiding in me about how she's cheating on Dad with James Dean, she's telling me how Henry was Small by name but not by nature."

"Like I said," continued Death, "it'll take time. Apart from your parents, what about the rest of the place?"

"Well, I guess God's okay but, if I'm to be honest, Heaven doesn't quite meet my expectations. I was expecting more."

"In what way?" enquired Death, eager to make any necessary corrections to keep Lana happy.

"Well, I always felt a bit of an outcast down on Earth. No offense, Death, but you wouldn't understand the problems of being perfect - the inner sorrow every time you have to leave a mirror, the constant longing stares from all around you, not to mention having to put up with everybody else's shortcomings - it wasn't easy but, being perfect, I coped. Now I was hoping Heaven might be different, full of my perfect peers, but it isn't - it's just like Earth except a bit more exclusive."

"Hey, we can only do so much with the raw material available," said Death defensively. "If there was anything else you wanted changing…"

"Well, now that you mention it," started Lana, "that black outfit of yours isn't really going to be that comforting for dead people. Maybe a nice pink would be better."

"But I've worn this since the dawn of time," protested Death.

"Surely it's time for a change then," said Lana. "Also, you should really get out in the Sun more."

"Besides that, is there anything else I can do?" asked Death, trying to change the subject.

"Well, do you know where Joe the angel is?"

"Joe the angel?"

"There was this drifter called Joe," explained Lana. "Looked a bit like Clark. You must know him."

Death looked at Lana blankly.

"He was an angel," continued Lana. "He could fly."

"So, he had wings?" asked Death.

Lana shook her head. "No, no wings."

"An angel without wings. Doesn't ring any bells."

"But he must be here," said Lana. "He must be."

"There's no way he can be here, Lana," Death pointed out. "Trust me, I know everybody in this place."

"Then there's only one possibility," reasoned Lana. "Heaven must be missing an angel."


Back in 1961 Smallville, inside a cave, Clark held up the mem-O random. A device so tiny and yet so dangerous, for Clark feared that it held the information that he didn't want General Zod to know - of how Clark had saved Louise's life against his father's express wishes.

"What are you doing with that thing?" his non-biological grandfather Hiram asked.

"I was supposed to return it to my father," explained Clark, "but there's too many bad memories attached."

And then Clark realized that his father Zod may be close by and that the sooner he and his grandfather said their goodbyes the safer it would be for Hiram. Clark grabbed Hiram's hand and shook it. "Thank you, Hiram."

"I can usually tell an honest man when I see one," said Hiram. "I'm sorry you ran into trouble here. There's plenty of good folks in Smallville."

"I'll remember that," said Clark, realizing that memories were the nearest he'd get to Smallville back on Krypton. "Congratulations on the baby. He's lucky to have you as parents."

"If there's anything you ever need, you know where to find me," replied his grandfather, who then left the cave, leaving Clark alone.

Of course, Clark knew that he'd never find his grandfather again. Indeed he'd never find Jonathan again and more importantly, once he'd changed the future, Jonathan and Martha would never find him, never even know him.

Trying to block out these thoughts, Clark looked at the mem-O-random in his hand and then turned towards the cave wall. Pulling the key, that they'd discovered earlier, out of his pocket, he held it up to the wall and watched as the small symbols on it lit up and the painting of the mem-O-random appeared on the wall. As the painting opened up, Clark put the mem-O-random inside the wall, causing a burst of gold light and smoke to shoot out.

As he removed his hand from the wall and the hole in the wall closed, two dark figures suddenly appeared.

"You were supposed to give the medallion to me," said Zod.

"But I saw myself putting it back in the wall in my vision. I couldn't risk disrupting the timeline," Clark lied.

"It doesn't matter anyway," said Ursa. "You know we trust you, Kal, don't you?"

"Of course I do," replied Clark, lying again. "So, are we ready to return to Krypton?"

"Well…" began Zod, when he was suddenly interrupted by the noise of a Tardis pulsating into view.

Once the Tardis had finished materializing, the door opened and The Doctor and Rose rushed out.

"Clark, we have to go back to a future," said The Doctor. "We need you to save Lana."

Clark looked at The Doctor with confusion. After all, Lana was dead - surely he meant Louise. Then Clark realized that The Doctor was just trying to keep Clark's secret of saving Louise from Zod and Ursa.

"Lana's alive!" he exclaimed, with mock incredulity, winking at The Doctor and Rose.

Ursa looked at the Tardis, their only possible route back to Krypton, and realized that here was an opportunity not only to return to the Tardis but also to ingratiate themselves with Clark. "You've got to save her, Kal. Isn't that right, Zod?"

Zod was silent for a moment, as Clark looked at him expectantly, and then finally he spoke. "Ursa's right. We may lose our chance to return to Krypton, but your peace of mind is what matters now."

Clark was shocked by this change in Zod. "But father, when I wanted to save Louise …"

"I'm sorry, Kal. I just had to ensure that the timeline wasn't inadvertently destroyed by Louise's survival. I'm sorry if my words were cruel … maybe I misjudged the situation."

"Thank you, father," said Clark with a smile, and then his smile disappeared. "Father, I have to be honest with you. It's not Lana they're talking about - it's Louise. I saved her."

Zod, after a calculated silence, replied "I understand, son. You did what you thought was right and I respect that."

"No, it's Lana," corrected Rose. "She must have swapped places with Louise after Louise was killed."

"Louise was Lana?" exclaimed a shocked Clark. "I just stood and watched as Lana got shot?"

"Don't blame yourself, Kal," said Zod. "You didn't know she was Louise. None of us did."

"Zod's right," said Ursa. "What's important is that we go and save Lana. Krypton can wait for now."

Ursa looked at the smile returning to Clark's face. It was a smile she'd look forward to wiping off once they were back on Krypton.


Chloe Sullivan walked out of St. Eligius hospital to see Lex Luthor, clad in black, sitting on the steps.

"So, Clark, what's with the black?" she asked, sitting beside him.

"Let's drop the act, Miss Sullivan. I know that you know that I'm not really Clark."

"And I knew that you knew that I knew that," responded Chloe.

"Now that I didn't know," replied Lex. "Anyway, I thought it was time to start afresh. Be honest with you."

"Honesty? From you?"

"Well, to be honest, no. Actually I just got bored with being Clark 24/7."

"What finally made you crack? Was it his Color Me Plaid fashion sense or the having to be nice part?"

"Both, not to mention having to think down to his level and having to bite my lip whenever a quotation came near it. Also, once I saw that Smallville episode Relic where he shoved my mem-O-random in a wall, I knew that he'd never be returning it to me."

"What did you want it for anyway?" asked Chloe, her reporter instincts kicking in. "Surely you're not still interested in those caves after all these years?"

"No, I'm not interested in the caves. Just Clark. That mem-O-random interfaced to Clark's thoughts - I just wanted to know what he was thinking, wanted to understand him. I'm like you, Miss Sullivan. I'm just after answers."

"So, you don't understand Clark?"

"Almost as much as he doesn't understand me," replied Lex, looking up at the sky. "In your future he just sees me as a villain."

"And you're not a villain?"

"Well, technically, yes, but I'm so much more."

"And you're upset because Clark doesn't understand you?"

"Nobody understands me, Miss Sullivan. Not yet. But enough about me - last I heard they wanted to take you to the psych ward."

"Been there. Done that. They wanted to keep me there - apparently the last person they had there who believed a man could fly is still being cleaned off the sidewalk - but The Doctor came and rescued me with his psychic paper."

"Can't believe that people fall for that," replied Lex laughing and then hesitantly added "How's Lana?"

"Brain-dead. A vegetable."

"I take it you're not being sarcastic."

"No, I'm not," replied Chloe, giving Lex a cold stare. "Anyway, since I'm the only one here from her time and dimension, The Doctor wanted me to make the decision about whether to switch off her life-support."

"That's a tough one," said Lex, pondering the situation. "Bit of a no-win situation. Switch her off, Clark never speak to you again. Leave her on, she gets well and Clark never looks at you again."

Chloe looked at Lex in disgust. "I can't believe you'd think my decision would have anything to do with Clark."

"I can't believe you'd think it wouldn't," replied Lex calmly. "So, what's your decision?"

"I didn't think I'd have to decide. We were going to use that stone you gave Rose... use it to swap Clark's mind in and out of Lana's to try and jump-start her brain."

"Rose tricked me?" asked Lex, with a seemingly unconcerned air.

"Afraid so," replied Chloe.

"Typical. I guess it's just lucky I didn't give her the real stone."

"You didn't give her the real stone?" echoed Chloe.

"Well I wasn't sure if I could really trust her so I just used a stone and some paint to create a fake one. If she really wanted to swap minds with The Doctor she'd have come back to me when the fake one didn't work."

"But Clark was going to use that stone to save Lana."

"So, you used Lana's dilemma as a means to drag Clark back here. But I forgot, this isn't about Clark."

"It doesn't matter if it is," said Chloe, pulling a photograph from her bag. "Clark's never coming back."

Lex looked at the photograph and gave a slight smile. "The times they are a-changing."

"Exactly," said Chloe. "And our reality won't be there anymore. Even if The Doctor gets us back to our world, we won't belong there."

"There's no need to worry. Clark will be back," said Lex. "He'll come back to save Lana and then, when that fails, he'll rewrite time to save her."

"What makes you so sure?" asked Chloe.

"Because I know Zod comes back," replied Lex. "I've met him in his future, but he doesn't know it yet."

"You've met him?"

Lex just smiled an enigmatic smile at Chloe.

"But if Clark comes back," realized Chloe, "he'll need that stone. You can save everything, our whole existence, if you just give him the real stone."

"Yes," said Lex, "I could. What's the worst that could happen? Clark's mind goes into Lana's brain-damaged body and he gets stuck there forever. Tempting. Still, if it's a choice between Clark dying attempting to save Lana, and Clark having to live knowing that he'd failed to save Lana, I'd have to go with the latter."

"But that makes no sense," argued a bewildered Chloe. "You're willing to lose everything just to upset Clark?"

Lex nodded. "I guess I am just a villain after all."

"There's got to be another way," said Chloe.

"Well of course there is," said Lex with a smile. "You take the real stone and use it to save Lana."

"Me?" said Chloe, suddenly confused.

"Yes, you could swap minds with Lana," said Lex, thinking aloud. "Lana's mind could live in your body, and just for once you'd get to save the day. You might even end up living and looking like Lana - the perfect combination of brains and beauty."

"But that's unthinkable," exclaimed Chloe.

"It's the only way anyone will get to use this stone on Lana," said Lex, as he took out the stone and held it in his gloved hand in front of Chloe. "This is your last chance to save our reality, Miss Sullivan. I'd advise you to grab it."

Chloe, without thinking, put her hand out for the stone and, as she looked into Lex's eyes, she felt him slap the stone into her hand, and then she saw his eyes change into hers.

"It appears the gloves are off, Miss Sullivan," she heard her own voice saying back to her, and then she looked down at herself to see the black suit she was now wearing and the black glove on the floor, and then somebody looking just like her stood up and kicked her to the ground.

Lying on the ground, trapped in Lex Luthor's body, she looked up at Lex who was now in her body.

"Let's see what we've got here," he said, looking in her bag. "What's this?"

Chloe's heart (or, to be technical, Lex's) skipped a beat as she realized what Lex would find there.

"It appears to be a device with a button. Like a small form of the one Ursa used on me. So , I guess you got The Doctor to make this so you could use it against me when I least expected it."

"It was just a precau-" started Chloe, and then she felt a pain in her chest as the finger that used to belong to her pressed the button.

"Painful, isn't it?" asked Lex rhetorically, as his former body writhed around in agony before him. "So, what else have we got here? Some blank paper and a notebook. Could you please stop screaming, Miss Sullivan, I'm trying to read. Hmm, so this is the story you're working on… Time - bit of a dull title, and way too complicated for the readership. Still, it doesn't really matter since it'll never be published."

Lex kneeled down to his now-still former body and placed the notebook in his, now Chloe's, jacket pocket.

"Between you and me, this won't be the first story I've buried. What's the matter, Chloe, don't get the joke, or just jealous that I've only been in your body a minute and already I'm breaking hearts? Okay, you just lie there and say nothing, I can laugh for both of us."

And with that Lex got up and walked away, laughing with Chloe Sullivan's voice.

"Sometimes I just kill myself."