There's this thing called SPARC that I was/am a part of. This was one of the small skits we did…though it didn't include Naruto characters, yaoi, or cross-dressing.
Well, it's not exactly the whole skit, it's the concept I borrowed.
Also the rating of this story I do not know. Though there is no full blown lemon, it implies it. So I'll rate it one way, and you all tell me if I should change it.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Characters, nor the skit idea. I just own me.
Before you start, know that this story has Boy/Boy love in it. Don't like, don't read. Reviews about it will not be ignored. I'll just reply to you angrily.
Here ya go!
Once upon a time, there lived some random rich man named Hatake Kakashi. He was "step-father" to the most arrogant, spiteful, little piece of cra- ahem…well he had a very difficult son to deal with. That son being Uchiha Sasuke.
Uchiha Sasuke was, as most people didn't want to believe, gay. Not the kind of gay where he ran around town in a pink shirt singing loudly "I ain't no holla' back girl!"
No no…he left that all up to his eldest brother. But he didn't like most of the female population of the town. Always following him around, stalking him. He even found them stealing his underwear one time!
Kakashi did not care at all. For he loved the same gender himself. If his son turned out like him, it would make him proud…thought Child services might be a little scared.
Well, back to the task at hand. Kakashi wanted his son to be married. He did not care if his bride was rich, nor, beautiful. But he did care if his bride was kind, good, and wise.
So he set up a "contest" if you want to call it that.
"Whoever answers the question right will win my sons hand in marriage." He shouted towards the whole town one day.
After the last word was uttered, girl came running from far and wide, as if Kakashi's voice could be heard from another town.
Sasuke, who was standing next to his father watched to see what would happen. His face evidently showing boredom.
They all stood in front of him in orderly fashion, awaiting the question. Kakashi stood before them, expecting them slightly, wondering out of all those girls, who his son was going to pick.
"Alright. Here is the Question! If you had a big fish, how could you feed your family as long as possible?"
Some girls dropped out immediately, seeing as the question already perplexed them. Others tried to figure it out.
After about 20 minutes, time for thinking was up.
"Answers now! Starting with you!" Kakashi said pointing to a small, timid girl with short dark purple/violet hair.
The girl stood there, pushing her fingers together in a shy fashion with her pale lavender colored eyes cast downward.
"Well…um…I could…" The girl said timidly.
"Speak up please!" Kakashi said, somewhat bored already.
"Umm…I cou-" but before she could finish, a man came running towards her.
"Hinata! Don't!" the man shouted. She turned towards him with a sad expression on her face.
"But I have to Kiba…my father's orders…" she said sadly.
"We could get married and leave this place, wouldn't you rather have that?" the man, now named Kiba asked.
"But-" before she could finish, Kiba kissed her fully on the lips. All the girls in line aw'd at the sight. Sasuke scoffed.
"If you aren't going to finish the question, please leave." Kakashi said, trying to move this along.
"Right, come on Hinata!" Kiba said dragging her along. A man who stood there shocked ran after them.
"Come back with my daughter! I don't want Inuzuka-Hyuuga babies, I want Uchiha-Hyuuga babies!" the father shouted following them.
"Alright…after that 'touching' moment…moving along. You there. Go." Kakashi said sitting down in a chair that someone placed for him.
The girl stepped up and winked at Sasuke. Sasuke looked away, disgusted.
"I would get my cooks to cook the fish anyway my family would like it." The girl said comfortably. She felt money was the almighty winner of everything.
This could be right…though don't ask me I'm broke.
"No, next." Kakashi said not even looking at the girl.
The girl huffed so much, her cheeks turned blue. At that time, people expected little men to walk over to her and start singing about Violet Beauregarde.
Though, to my displeasure, it didn't happen.
The next girl stepped up. Her giant forehead shined in the light. She smiled and took a deep breath.
"I would cut the fish up into tiny, tiny pieces." The girl said smiling as if she won already.
"No…Not the answer." Kakashi said blinding his eyes.
The girl with the big forehead stepped back in line. Now she would have to take over her parents flower shop. Guess that's the life of a Yamanaka. AN: HA, bet you all thought it was Sakura huh? See bottom for more.
The line went on and on, no right answer given. Most of the townsfolk left, seeing no winner in sight.
Countless girls went, and countless lost. It was now dark and the last girl was just giving her answer.
"I'd fry the chicken unt-"
"The question was about a fish. Where the hell'd you get a chicken?" Sasuke said angrily.
The girl ran, feeling unloved.
"Well…let's pack up Sasuke." Kakashi said…though there was nothing to pack up, just that one chair.
"Wait!" a voice called out from the distance. Kakashi turned towards it while Sasuke started walking away.
A man stepped up. He was pretty tall, but shorter then Kakashi. His hair was a dark brown color and was tied in a high ponytail. He had a single scratch going across his nose.
He walked up to Kakashi and bent over to catch his breath.
"Just one more person please…" the man asked.
"Um…don't you think you're a little to old to be wanting to marry my son?" Kakashi asked. That was indeed true. His son was around 16, and the man looked to be around 25.
Awkward…
"No not me! My son. I want him to marry my son." He said blushing at the implicates.
"Well…where is he…?" Kakashi asked looking around.
"Naruto?" Iruka said surprised.
-Some where else-
Sasuke had succeeded in leaving his stepfather. Though it slowed him down when he ran into someone on his way home.
Those escape plans never work…It's like that idiot can get to me anywhere. Sasuke thought angrily as he got up and dusted himself off.
He looked down at the person he hit and saw it was a girl. She had on a long, black skirt that frilled out at the end and a semi-tight white shirt on. Her hair was golden yellow and it was parted to one side with a hair pin keeping it on that side. To make matters worse, the pin had a fake, blue flower on it.
He decided not to help the girl, because if he did they'd fall madly in love with him and start stealing his underwear too. And he loved his underwear.
He started to walk off when a voice caught him off guard.
"Basterd! Not even helping up the person you run into." The voice said coming from the girl.
He turned to the girl and glared. The blond looked up and blue eyes glared back. Sasuke almost lost his glare after that, but caught it again. He had to keep the infamous glare, or else people would think he was turning into Itachi.
And no one needed two of them…
"Sorry, but I don't help ugly girls!" Sasuke said. In his mind he denied it though. The girl was indeed pretty…ok, so the girl was beautiful. But would he say that aloud?
Not yet anyway.
"Girl!" the girl shouted. Sasuke was taken back. When had a girl been more mad about being called a girl instead of being called ugly? He pondered.
"The only reason I dressed like this it because my father made me come all the way here to marry some rich bastered. I don't need to take this from you!" she shouted.
"I didn't want to know your life story, you dolt." Sasuke said back.
"Why you-" The blond was about to step forward when the so called bastered walked towards her.
"W-what do you want? Looking for a fight." The girl said.
Sasuke leaned down to the girls level to get a better look at her face. Whisker marks adorned her face on each cheek.
"Why is it that you make me want you kiss you?" Sasuke asked. He wasn't all too happy about that fact either.
"How should I know…Maybe you're weird." The girl said back. She, of course, was slightly scared that the man had walked up to him that close. He was getting a little territorial.
"Guess I'll have to find out huh?" Sasuke said as he swooped in and stole her lips.
The blond became surprised. She struggled a little till her felt a tongue inter her mouth. Her legs went numb and she started to kiss back.
Sasuke wrapped his arms around the girl's waist and pulled her into his chest.
Something wasn't right.
Not that he knew from experience, but didn't girls have…breast?
It then dawned on him.
He pulled away from the kiss and looked down at the girl.
"What?" the 'girl' said in displeasure. She didn't want it to end.
"You…have…no breasts…That means…you're a guy." Sasuke drew out.
"Oh yeah…about that…" the now discovered guy said looking away.
"Look…I know you must be disgusted now so uh…I'm sor-" he was about to apologize when he was caught off guard again with another kiss.
Sasuke pulled back and smirked, "Thank the lord that I don't believe in." he said as he kissed the blond again.
"Hmm?" he said into the kiss.
"I was afraid that I would become straight again…" Sasuke said after pulling away from the kiss.
"So…that means you don't care?"
"Not at all. And from what it seems I might be in love with you." Sasuke said. "Now I just need to know your name, my new bride."
"Who said I was going to be anyone's-" And for the third time, he was cut off by another kiss.
"Does that help?" Sasuke asked.
The blond just nodded and leaned against his new groom.
The same voice from earlier called out.
"Naruto!" as if pulled out of his dream state, he turned his head to see who was calling.
"There you are! I've been looking all over for you. You have to answer the question to marr- Oh…well I guess you don't have to now…" he said as he noticed Sasuke with his arms around Naruto.
"Good job son." Kakashi said coming up behind the man.
Sasuke just nodded. He leaned down and whispered something into Naruto's ear. Naruto blushed and nodded. Sasuke turned and walked off with Naruto still wrapped in his arms.
"Bye Iruka." Naruto called back.
Iruka looked a little confused till he understood why Naruto had been blushing. Guess a little stupidity ran in the family.
"There there Iruka, things will be fine." Kakashi said, patting the parent on the shoulder.
Iruka could do nothing but nod dumbfounded.
The next morning Naruto woke up, unclothed, next to his future husband. Sasuke, who had been awake the whole time, greeted him with a small smile and a quick kiss.
"Hey…Sasuke, what was the answer to that question that I was supposed to ask?" Naruto asked.
"You know…knowing Kakashi, I don't think there ever was an answer…" Sasuke said.
Some where else Kakashi sneezed.
-Ze End-
All done in one day. And out of boredom.
The Ino forehead thing:
Check out this page, just take the spaces out: http(space)/www.(space)linkandluigi.(space)us/(space)forehead.(space)html
I'm sorry if this sucks, but hey I tried.
Leave me a review or something. Criticism is welcomed. Though flames will be used to warm up my cold house.
The actual answer to the question:
First you cook the fish with many vegetables
That way there would be a great deal of food.
Then give some of the food to relatives.
Then give some to neighbors
Then when they get a big fish
They would share it.
That way the one big fish would feed a family for a long, long time.
Leave reviews please.
Bye.
