Not That Social
Chapter Eight: Beautiful to Me
AN: First off, I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter! Secondly, I apologize about the updating. School started this week and things have been a little rougher than I thought they would be. Add in some serious family problems…and yeah. So if updates are slow, I sincerely apologize. But no worries, I won't abandon this story! Uhm, I was listening to "The Killing Moon" by Echo and the Bunnymen when I wrote this…if that means anything.
Responses:
Mademoiselle Fleur: Thank you for all of your reviews! Hehe, do whatever you want. I'm just glad you like the story!
Textrose: I'm not sure about Kagome's past just yet, but I'm working it out. As for Sango and Miroku…well, you'll just have to read and find out.
Creature of the Night: I'm sorry you're still confused. All I can say, though, is that information will be provided in later chapters. You'll just have to keep reading the story if you want to know…But thanks for the review!
Nomadgirl666: Here's the update, thanks for reading!
Laurell-chan: Of course you spoiled me. :-P Yep, yep, yep…they're getting longer. I think I might be getting the hang of this…
TaintedMunkeyz: I'm glad you liked it! Yeah, I'm usually into more hardcore stuff, too. But lately I've been going through this Cabaret stage…I don't know what it's about. :-P
Fornwalt: Hehe, you caught me just in time, here it is!
I hope I got everyone. If I forgot any reviewers, feel free to yell at me in your next review! Hehe, sorry.
"Listen, I really need to talk to you," he said in a low voice, whispering the words in her ear so only she could hear.
The concert had ended and Inuyasha and Kagome were standing in the main lobby, their hands interlocked. He stared at her—not just looked, but actually peered into the bottom of her soul. She felt like he was pulling at her heartstrings, calling her to him. He, on the other hand, couldn't believe this was happening.
"What do you want to talk about?" she asked after a moment's hesitation, squeezing his hand a little tighter and offering a warm smile.
"It's just that—"
"Kagome!" Miroku shouted, pushing his way through the crowd, Sango not far behind. Inuyasha shut his mouth, instead settling for shooting Miroku a death glare. "There you are, we've been looking everywhere for you!"
"Sorry guys," she apologized, turning to meet them. Unconsciously, her hand slipped from Inuyasha's and he immediately missed the warmth it provided. "I was just hanging out with Inuyasha…"
"Oh, hey, Inuyasha." Sango greeted halfheartedly, flashing him a brief smile before turning back to Kagome. "So, you ready to hit the road, Kagome?"
"Actually, I was just gonna' talk to—"
"Nah, it's no big deal. I'll catch you around, Kagome." Inuyasha interrupted her, stuffing his hands into his pockets and briskly walking toward the door. Kagome stood there for a moment, not quite understanding what had just happened, before she turned back to her friends.
"That was strange," she commented absently. "Uhm, I guess I'm ready. Did you guys like the show?" Both of her friends nodded and went on to describe their favorite songs, but Kagome's mind was still on Inuyasha. 'Why would he just take off like that?'
It didn't seem like him to just take off, and that thought bothered her. 'What if he had something really important to tell me?'
"Hey, Kagome…you there?" Miroku asked, comically snapping his fingers in front of her face. She blinked and snapped out of her thoughts, focusing on her friends. She looked around and noticed that they were standing outside of Miroku's car in the parking lot.
"Sorry, guys, I must have dosed off there for a moment." She apologized, bowing her head in embarrassment.
"You seem to be doing that a lot lately," Sango commented.
"It's nothing, guys." She laughed. "The speakers were just really loud and I'm in a bit of daze. That's all." She gave an honest smile, something she had mastered over the years, and climbed into the car before they could argue the subject further.
'I just don't understand it,' she thought once she had buckled up her seatbelt. 'Why did he just take off like that when Sango and Miroku showed up? I wonder what he wanted to tell me…'
"What the hell was I thinking?" Inuyasha mumbled angrily as he made his way to the back of the theatre, where his motorcycle was parked in a back alley. "God, I'm fucking stupid. Of course she wouldn't want to do that…"
He picked up his helmet to put it on when a thought crossed his mind. Pissed, he threw the helmet to the ground and took off, leaving the theatre behind him.
The night was cold, and he could feel the wind whipping against his face. The feeling of his hair free from the confines of his helmet made him smile as he zipped down the street, passing up all the cars and rushing off towards the horizon. The city was sleeping and he couldn't help but think of all the people he was annoying with his loud engine. That thought brought a smile to his lips.
Before he knew it, he was heading up the coastline. The waves crashed against the shore beneath him as he dashed down the empty highway, not caring about the speed limit. His speedometer was pushing 85 mph, and he wanted to go faster. Revving the engine, he sped up. The scenery around him began to blur and all he could see was the road in front of him. As he pushed his bike faster and faster, a lone tear slipped from his eye and flew behind him—gone before it was ever really there.
Inuyasha slammed on his breaks, fishtailing his bike and coming to an abrupt halt in the middle of the road. For a moment, all that existed was him, the night, and the smell of burning rubber. He climbed off the bike and headed to the guardrail that protected the road from the thirty-yard drop to the ocean. The ocean waves were crashing against the rocks below, sending up a thunderous cry to the heavens.
He took a deep breath, holding it in his lungs for an instant before exhaling. As the air rushed from his lungs he collapsed to the ground, his fists clenched at his side.
"Why the hell couldn't I just ask her?" he asked between clenched teeth, slamming his left fist into the concrete. "What's the worst that could possibly happen?"
A little voice in the back of his mind told him that, in fact, everything could happen. That if he let her into his life, everything would go down hill from there. And, to Inuyasha's disappointment, he couldn't prove that voice wrong.
He felt angry. Angry at her friends for interrupting at exactly the wrong moment. Angry at her for just going to them. But most of all, he was angry with himself for not telling her.
Lifting his head to the skies, Inuyasha let out a howl that would put a banshee to shame. He held that scream for a good minute, just letting every emotion fly from his mouth. A certain weight seemed to be lifted from his shoulders just then, rushing from his body with his voice. When he was done his throat was aching and parched, and he felt a tear trace the lines of his face. He sat there like that, his head in his hands on the side of the road, for what seemed like hours before getting up and heading back to his abandoned motorcycle.
"I have to do it…" he whispered to himself as he took off.
By the time Kagome got home that night the house was dark and her mother was already in bed. She climbed the stairs as silently as she could, making her way to her bedroom and shutting the door softly behind her. All the lights were off in her room except for a small lamp by her bedside, casting a light pink glow across the room.
"Inuyasha…" she sighed, grabbing a small hand-towel from a drawer and heading for the bathroom. Kagome turned on the tap at a low level so not to awaken her mother who was in the next room sleeping, wetting and lathering the towel before heading back to her room.
She switched on another lamp, but it was still dark and she could just make out her reflection in her vanity. Taking a seat, she stared at herself for a moment before bringing the towel to her face and wiping off her makeup.
She ran the towel across her eyelids first, watching as the blues and blacks faded away and left a faint line before disappearing all together. As she got to the foundation, she held back a sob as it seemed to come off in thick globs, covering the towel and causing her to fold it over several times. There was so much makeup, so much to her mask, that it felt like it would never come off. But as she finished her job, she looked towards the mirror and couldn't stop the tears from falling.
The girl staring back at Kagome was a stranger. She was some little girl that she never wanted to see again, a little girl that Kagome found hideous. She tried to hold the sobs in, but they racked her chest and broke the dam. Tears began to flow from her eyes, all because she looked in the mirror.
"No wonder he ran from me," she sobbed, hiding her face in her hands. She felt as if her reflection was looking down on her, mocking her for being so stupid. "I'm repulsive."
Her tears seemed to refuse to stop pouring, and she turned from the vanity and headed for the bed. Burying her face in her pillow, she let out a frustrated moan. All that she could think was how ugly she looked in that mirror. Her pillow grew wet with salty tears, and she felt her sobs slowly die down, leaving her feeling hollow.
"I need to stop this," she sniffled, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. She crawled off the bed, trying to steady herself on wobbly legs, and headed for her dresser across the room. Kagome pulled out her favorite pair of pajamas, a matching red top and pair of pants dotted with little white puppies. She slipped into her pajamas and put her dirty clothes in her hamper, taking off her wristband from the concert and placing it on her dresser. She turned and headed back for the bed when she heard something bang on her window.
Kagome's first reaction was to panic— someone's breaking in! —but then she calmed down and listened as the sound came again. It sounded like rocks being thrown. Chewing on her bottom lip, she sheepishly made her way to the window. It was locked and took a moment to open, but once she did she was shocked by what she saw.
Inuyasha was standing in her backyard, a handful of rocks in his hand and a solemn smile on his face.
'Oh no,' Kagome thought. 'I'm not wearing any makeup! He can't see me like this!' "You can't be here!" she shouted, not realizing how rude she sounded, before slamming the window and collapsing to the floor.
'What the hell is he doing here?' she thought. And then she thought back to the last time he showed up outside her window. 'He almost kissed me that night…' Kagome was about to turn around and let him in when she felt a tapping on her window. This time it didn't sound like rocks being thrown—it sounded like someone knocking on her window.
Her house was dark like he suspected. There was a pale pink light shining from her bedroom and a feeling of warmth immediately filled his soul. She was right there, up in her room—so close, yet entirely out of reach.
Inuyasha parked his motorcycle a few houses down and silently killed the engine. Licking his lips, he climbed from his bike and took a few steps toward her house. Like the first time, he hesitated, unsure of her reaction.
'I need to do this,' he encouraged himself. With a sigh of acceptance he walked across the street and into her backyard. There was a light on over the backdoor but, other than that, the yard was dark. He stood there for a second, just staring up at her window and wondering what she was doing. That's when he spotted a small path of pebbles nearby. It reminded him off all those teen movies he saw where the guy would come to the girl's house and throw pebbles at her window. Deciding that it was probably one of those things she liked, he grabbed a handful of rocks.
The first rock missed the window completely, instead bouncing off the side of the house and landing with a thud beside him. The second, however, was dead on. The stone connected with the glass window with a soft knock before gravity took over and pulled it back to the earth. When nothing happened, he threw another one.
Inuyasha waited a moment, crossing his fingers and hoping she would come to the window. It took a few seconds and he was about to throw a fourth rock when the window swung open and Kagome stuck her head out.
Inuyasha let out a breath that he didn't even know he was holding when he saw her face. He couldn't tell exactly because of the lack of lighting, but he thought she looked surprised to see him. And that's when she yelled down to him.
"You can't be here!" her voice drifted down to him, sounding angry and troubled. The next thing he knew, the window was slammed shut and he was left in the dark.
'That didn't really just happen, did it?' he thought. 'She can't be that mad about earlier. Maybe…maybe it's just me she doesn't want to see.'
He was about to head back when something stopped him. There was this feeling deep within his chest—something pulling him towards her house. He had the strangest suspicion that she had been crying recently. This thought alone caused him to turn around and head to the old tree.
'This is the tree I climbed that first night,' he thought, with his hand pressed up against the bark. If it weren't for this tree, he probably wouldn't be in the position he was now. Climbing the massive trunk, Inuyasha made his way up. His foot slipped twice and his jacket caught a branch once, but he made it. Her window was right there, and all he had to do was reach out and push it open.
He lifted his hand, gently balled into a fist, and knocked on the window. There was a rustling on the other side, before Kagome's figure appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Her eyes were red from crying and there were tear tracks down her cheeks. She just stood there, staring at him with an unreadable expression, before opening the window.
"I told you, you can't be here," she whispered, letting her hair fall over her face. He was taken aback for a moment, before he climbed forward and through her window.
He could tell that she was surprised that he would just walk in like that, but he sensed no fear. Reaching out an unsure hand, he tucked some of her hair behind her ear.
"I'm sorry," he apologized, tilting her head up so he could look into her eyes. There was something different about her—but he couldn't quite place it. She seemed more real than earlier…more beautiful. And then it hit him: she wasn't wearing makeup. 'Was that why she wanted me to leave?'
She looked up at him, obviously not expecting him to apologize. She saw him staring at her, but she couldn't read his expression and she began to worry that he would find her ugly. She began to pull away from him when he continued.
"You shouldn't wear so much makeup," he smiled. "You so much more beautiful without it."
He watched her as a tear rolled down her cheek, and he wasn't sure exactly why she was crying. 'Did I say something wrong?' he thought.
"Why would you say something like that?" she asked, her voice cracking a little. She let the rest of her tears fall, not bothering to hide them.
"I couldn't lie to you," he answered honestly. "You're beautiful."
A flood of emotions overtook her just then and she grabbed hold of him, hugging him to her and sobbing into his shoulder. He froze for a moment before slowly lifting his hands and wrapping them around her, patting her back lightly as she continued to cry.
"It's going to be okay," he whispered. "There's no reason to cry."
"You don't understand," she looked up at him, sniffling her nose. "You're the first person to ever say anything like that. You have no idea what it means to me."
He couldn't help but smile. Lifting up a hand, he gently wiped away the tear tracks that were threatening to permanently stick to her face. His heart began to pound in his chest and he leaned into her. This was the moment—the time for everything to happen that couldn't happen before. He closed his eyes, knowing that she did the same, and leaned in. They stopped simultaneously, centimeters apart, both unsure of themselves. And then, to Inuyasha's surprise, Kagome pushed forward and they kissed.
Hehe, I edit-ed it. I wonder if you can tell…
Oh god, I know it was short. Terribly short, in fact. It's just that…well, I'm having a hard time right now and it's difficult to write. Not just this, but everything. I feel…kinda lost in life right now. So please forgive me. I will try to update quickly, hopefully within the next couple of days.
