Grin and Bear It

It was a rare and almost non-existent occurrence to see Sparda's face paled in obvious fear and this just so happened to be one of those days.

Eva stepped into the hallway to find him practically slumped over the telephone stand, using his shoulder to hold the receiver to his ear so that he could have both hands flat to the wall as if for support.

She could hear only his side of the conversation and it went something like this –

"Of course…yes…no, no it's no trouble…don't worry, we'd love it…sounds just great, honestly…I'm sure she'll be absolutely fine and it shouldn't take too long anyway…always room for more…" he seemed to be forcing a smile through gritted teeth. "…they're fine, just as hyper as usual…yes, I know…I'm sure they can't wait…I really must go, there are a million things that I need to do today…yes, well…yes…uh huh…alright, well, goodbye then…bye..." he gently placed the receiver down and growled something demonic that Eva could not understand in the slightest.

"Is something the matter?" She asked after he seemed to have finished cursing the communication device. She would have to replace it now as very bad things had happened to the last two he had yelled at; one had ended up possessed and nearly gave a telemarketing lady a heart attack and the other had disappeared in a puff of sulphurous smoke when he had 'damned it all to hell'. Demonic swearing could be very potent at times.

"You could say that, yes." Sparda replied, smoothing back his hair and calming down. "It's about Christmas; there's been a change of plan."

"What?" she asked…he looked petrified. She stepped over and took his hands in comfort. "Who was that?"

He all but collapsed into her arms. "Your parents. They want to come this year, they say they don't want any excuses. They want to stay over and I just couldn't say no. You know how your mother can be…I can't face her…I'm pathetic…"

"Oh dear." Eva mumbled. Her parents were not in the least bit approving of her choice of husband. They found him too…odd for their liking and were often patronising and sometimes flat out insulting when it came to matters involving him. They put up an act of tolerance for their daughter's sake but it wasn't much of an effort. They thought the only good thing the white haired weirdo had contributed to the family were the twins they now adored…but the twins preferred to join their father in his varying attempts to hide or escape from the dreaded in-laws whenever they were due.

Christmas was going to be hard.

-Christmas Eve Morning-

It wasn't terribly early…in fact it was bordering afternoon when Sparda was rudely woken by a lot of rough shaking by his wife. "Get your lazy self out of that bed." Eva demanded.

"'m up…" he announced in a garbled moan while trying to keep bleary eyes open and focused. "Wha?"

"I don't want everything left to the last minute so I need to you to get things done today. You've already put it off long enough and they'll be here tomorrow. I need to you squirrel away anything abnormal."

"Uh?"

"Yes, you know exactly what I mean. A sword or two on the walls is decoration and a conversation piece but an entire armoury in the bedroom is not going to go unnoticed."

"'s not like they come 'n 'ere…" he argued in his half-awake drawl while sitting up and brushing down his morning hair with his fingers. You just can't take a man (or devil, even a legendary one) seriously when his morning hair makes him look like a dishevelled dandelion.

"Well, actually…they will. They'll be sleeping in here."

His eyes snapped wide and he was suddenly very awake. "I beg your pardon?"

"The spare room is in too much of a state and will have to be storage for your 'things' so I've had to come up with some arrangements. The boys will have to share one of their beds and I'll take the one they decide not to use. My parents will be here in our room and you'll have to use the sofa…unless you want to swap with me."

Sparda blinked and produced an uncharacteristic squeaking sound. "Can't we just clear the spare room? I could put it all into a pocket dimension or something…"

"Last time you did that it all popped out again in the middle of dinner, onto the table, with a demon attached. The beef joint was ruined and it frightened the life out of me."

"Alright, alright, stop looking at me like that. I'll sleep on the sofa. Uh…do Dante and Vergil know about this yet?"

"Yes, I told them a little while ago. They aren't happy."

"Little wonder." He sighed and willed himself to crawl out of bed.

Once he was washed, shaved and dressed he threw himself into the task of hiding everything he could find that hinted of things that may be out of the ordinary. First to go were the majority of swords and his guns, then bows and crossbows, staves, spears, knives and throwing daggers. A couple of shields were next on the list, closely followed by a variety of 'trophies' from various battles that he happened to be personally proud of. Other odds and ends that had to vacate plain sight were archaic and demonic artefacts and items.

When this was all done to Eva's satisfaction, he decided he would go and see when the twins really thought about the situation. Eva said they were not happy, but that would just be her own deduction from they way they acted as they would never tell her the truth for fear of upsetting her…but with their father they were always brutally honest.

"So what's wrong with you two?" he asked, leaning on the wall as he stepped into their room where they were playing Chase the Ace on Vergil's bed. "You look like the Playstation just broke."

"Gran's gonna start petting us again." Dante wailed, scooting over to his brother to gesture for support, the game forgotten.

Vergil got the hint. "She pinches our cheeks every time she sees us and it hurts, dad. She treats us like dolls."

Sparda sighed and crossed over to where they were, sitting down between them though being mindful not to park himself on the cards littering the duvet. "I know, I know…I don't like it any more than you do. But they are family…we can't keep them away."

"What if Jackpot does something?" Vergil gasped…it was the first time any of them had thought about that.

Sparda buried his head in his hands. "Oh no…this is worse than I thought…much worse…"

"Man, this is gonna be the worse Christmas in the history of Christmases. It'll be Jackpot's first one and it'll be a bad one." Dante said, while slumping against his father.

Vergil did the same on the other side. "Dad, can't we just go away for while?"

"I'd like to but it isn't going to happen. No way out this time, kids." He told them while giving them both a hug. "We just have to grin and bear it."

End

Author's Note – My apologies for the lateness. Wall's not gone yet, but I'll carry on as best I can. As always, the biggest of thanks go out to anyone and everyone who read this and especially those who review. Cookies for all who want 'em.

And now, I have an announcement to make! After much discussion over glasses of coke it has been decided that a spin off of Growing Pains will be in the pipeline. It will be collaboration between me and my friend Chicken-Chan (who helped come up with many ideas for GP) and it will be like this one, but we'll be able to follow the twins' misadventures in college O.O It's currently unnamed, but we have many a plan for it, so watch this space.

Well, with that little bit of shameless advertising over I bid thee farewell until the next update…which I hope won't take as long as this one did.