The Anniversary

Side A

Sparda had always been careful to keep his true identity, as it were, a secret; concentrating hard when out in public and going over every action and word twice in his head before doing or saying anything in a desperate attempt to make sure nothing every slipped. He'd been getting used to it and it had almost become second nature…but now he was a tad on the nervous side and that meant he was having to go over things again.

It was his and Eva's wedding anniversary and he was desperate not to screw it up. They had gone out to a meal at a fancy restaurant, leaving the twins in the care of a babysitter that their neighbour knew well and recommended. He wasn't sure whether he was more worried for the poor girl looking after their children and hellpuppy or about there being a repeat of two years ago. Two years ago…oh dear…the last time they had gone out for a meal like this…demons everywhere you could look trying to ruin it and lop their heads off…it just didn't make for a romantic evening to celebrate their marriage…Eva had all but been in tears.

Well, that wasn't going to happen again; he'd seen to it. He'd been out every night for an entire week making sure all demons within the vicinity of the restaurant were well and truly taken care of…oh, they'd be back eventually but he should have done enough to keep them away for now. He was sick of things messing up.

He sighed to himself and continued munching away on his blue rare steak.

Now it was Eva's turn to sigh as she sipped her wine. "I still don't know how you can eat that; a piece of meat that was barely shown the heat let alone cooked."

"It's warm all the way through." He argued. "It's cooked."

"If you say so."

"Don't look at me like that, please. You know what I'm used to. Where I come from the only meat you get is either raw or cremated. You pick up a taste for things when you've suffered it for long enough…and this is a lot nicer than any I had back 'home'." He informed her, and you could hear the inverted commas when he mentioned the underworld.

Eva shrugged. At least he hadn't asked for it raw…she knew he tried so very hard to shrug of his demonic habits, and he was doing very well, but when it came to choosing his own meals rather than them being placed in front of him without his opinion on the matter he always picked what he was used to.

The meal progressed without incident but just when it looked as if it was going to be a perfect night Sparda's mobile started to rumble away silently in his pocket.

He grumbled something about 'infernal devices' to himself and dug the damnable thing out of his pocket. He took a second to peer at the screen, debating whether to turn it off and ignore the call, but then saw who it was that was calling. "Oh dear."

"What is it?"

"Home." He sighed in an exasperated manner and tried to surreptitiously take the call. "Hello?"

Eva watched his face fall. Then he stuffed the mobile back in his pocket before standing up. "Where are you going? What's wrong?"

"Just stay here, I'll be right back. It was the boys; they say a demon showed up at home. They're ok and they've got it trapped in the toilet but don't know what to do with it. The sitter fainted. I'll go take care of it. Don't worry, I won't take long, I promise. You just finished your fish and I'll be back before dessert."

And with that he left, but not before cramming a chunk of steak in his mouth to be going on with.

-Half An Hour Later-

Sparda returned and plonked himself back down in his seat without a word, resting his elbows on the table and cradling his head in his hands.

"Um…" Eva said, taking in his now tired visage. "How did it go?"

"Fine. It was only a lesser demon but it was pretty quick…gave me the run around for a minute or two but I sorted him out. The boys and I managed to wake up the sitter, convinced her she'd fallen and banged her head because something spooked her. She'll be fine for the rest of the night. Now…where's that waitress…I'm in a pudding mood."

She couldn't help but smile and shake her head. The dinner plates were already gone and he was ready to move on to the last course as if he had only gone to the toilet rather than rushing home to fight a demon. After a minute or two, the waitress came over. "Here are the…oh god! Sir! You're bleeding!" she yelped.

"Huh?" Sparda grunted.

"Your back!" the girl screeched. "Oh my god! Um…uh…I'll call an ambulance…just don't move!"

"Wha?" Sparda tried to look over his shoulder and could just about see the red stain spreading across and down his shirt as well as onto the white chair. "Oh no, I…oh I'm so sorry, I've ruined your chair."

The waitress fainted while Sparda pulled on his dinner jacket and tried to mop up the mess he'd made. "Oh look at that…I'm sorry…it's going to leave a mark…I'll pay for it…I'm so sorry."

The waitress lay in a heap, the restaurant staff panicked, someone phoned for an ambulance and the customers rushed or sat around not knowing whether to try and help, leave or just carry on eating.

Somewhere amidst it all, two customers went missing.

-

On a park bench not ten minutes walk from the restaurant, a devil and his wife sat on a park bench.

"And you're sure that you're alright." Eva asked her husband yet again.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine."

"But you're still bleeding."

"Cursed blades can do that. Don't worry; I won't even have a scratch in an hour or so."

They stayed a while at the park with Sparda apologising profusely for messing things up again…and stalking away briefly to terrorise and vent his frustrations on a demon he found lurking suicidally behind a nearby tree.

And speaking of terrorising….

Upon opening the front door and stepping back inside they found the babysitter unconscious in the hallway and a huge mess in the kitchen, not to mention the scorch marks dotted here and there about the place.

Dante and Vergil sat on the kitchen counter, covered in sticky jam, sugar and other sweet ingredients with broad smiled on their faces, looking for all the world as if they'd just had a food fight.

"The lady fainted again." Dante sniggered and took a bite out of a sandwich that was dripping with honey and various kinds of candies.

"So we made out own dinner." Vergil informed them proudly. "Um…but the fish fingers kinda melted a bit and stuck to the oven and burned and made it smell so we put the chips in the toaster."

"Oh," Dante added, "and Jackpot ate all the chocolate spread and then threw up in front of the TV."

He parents gawped.

Next year they were just going to stay at home.

End

Author's Note – OhHellOhHellOhHell…I am sooo sorry for that disappearing act…and for not finishing the Christmas chapters…my brain dribbled out of my ears completely. Sorrysorrysorrypleasedon'tkillmesorrysorrysorry…But in my defence part of the non-postingness was because this site refused to upload the damn document. For ages! Seems to be okay now...touch wood.

Thanks to all of you who reviewed and read this. I still plan to carry on with it but I'm not sure if I can keep up with doing one a week like I used to. What I will do, however, is post a little comment or rant every week on my bio page just to let people know that I'm still about and haven't up and vanished again. So if you ever wonder what's up and where I've gone; that's where you'll find out.

Thanks again and I will return.

'Side B' of this will be what happened in the house while Sparda and Eva were out…that poor poor babysitter…(Muaahaha…eh-hem…)