I have decided, along with many other things in my life, to do away with things that are potentially harmful to me. First and foremost, chocolate. It isn't doing my body any good, I think the extra five pounds lurking around my waist can account for that. Secondly, feeling sorry for myself. As Hermione says: I will never get a proper boyfriend if I'm a complete and utter mess of a young lady. Finally, the one thing that has kept me in pieces since day one of Hogwarts. Harry Bloody Potter. I know he will be the hardest to throw out of my life. He is everything that I am. Not to toot my own horn, but I am a wonderful, better person when I'm around him. He makes me smile, and more than that. He made me fall in love with him, which I will hate him forever for. How dare he waltz in and upturn my pre-pubescent life? I was a happy ten year old until he came into my life.

I was loud and annoying and fabulously easy to get along with. No matter what Ron said, because let's face it, he can be a bit of a prat sometimes, I was such a cute little sister. Enter Harry Potter. I blushed for the first time in my entire life. He showed me humility. He showed me how to sweat and be conscience of everything I said or ate. He made me want to grow up so fast, and to be a gorgeous little girl, and then, as I grew and breasts appeared, a dashful young lady.

Well, first things first. Chocolate.

"Ginny, dear, would you like another slice of cake?"

"No thank you mother, I am going on a diet. No more chocolate. It isn't good for me," I replied smoothly, taking a sip of my juice. I noticed everyone staring at me, mouths dropped onto the table in apparent shock.

"No cake for you?" mum repeated. "Ginny, are you feeling alright?"

"Mum, it's that reaction right there that shows me I've gone too far and eaten to often and much. If you're all gaping at me for refusing cake, I've made my mark as the family garbage disposal-, I mean, after Ron, of course, " I amended, seeing Ron begin to protest. He nodded once and went back to his cake and ice-cream and whipped cream and chocolate chips and peanut butter sauce. Right there is about 15, 000 calories that I have chosen not to eat. I feel so proud! I want to do something now...

"I'm going to go to bed," I announced, standing up and heading for the door. I am about to step inside when I hear the crunch of steps coming around the house. Everything seems to slow down for me. My hair, which has whipped around as I turn, is slow and smooth, silky and wavy. My heart seems to beat a million times louder for all to hear. And that's when he comes around the house, as though he has every right to be here.

Harry Potter.

"Hey, guys, sorry I'm late," he said, giving my mother a hug. I feel myself begin to retreat again. I know how foolish I must sound to an outsider, but it's happening nonetheless. My palms are sweaty with fear and my stomach is churning angrily. It's the first time I've seen Harry since...the incident.

He turned to me and I see him hesitate also. I know the same things are currently running through his mind as they run through mine. And then, in an instant, he drops his gaze, as though ashamed. I am stunned for a second, thinking that maybe I've seen it wrong and he isn't dropping his gaze because of me, but I know that's not true. It's all because of me. I make him just as nervous as he makes me.

"Ginny, c'mon, I'll walk you upstairs," Hermione said, giving everyone a giant, fake smile, all the while taking me by the hand and leading my upstairs. I thought for a wild moment that I was going to cry, and it made me feel stupid all over again. "Are you alright, Ginny?"

"I'm fine," I replied. Oh, how many times must I say the same lie over and over again? I've told everyone I'm fine when it isn't true. It's the farthest thing from the truth!

"Ginny..." Hermione's voice is scolding me. She knows I'm lying to her, and, for the first time in my entire life, I don't care if she knows what I'm really thinking.

"Hermione, I don't know what you want me to do or what you want me to say," I replied sharply. "It's over. He's made it very clear what he wants out of life. I don't happen to be one of them. It sucked, it was tough, and I'm over it. Case closed." I pushed past her and began to go up the stairs, hearing her behind me.

"No, not case closed!" she protested, grabbing my arm and whirling me around. "Ginny, maybe you don't want to admit that you're hurt, but I see it. Everyone sees it." I swallow. It feels as though I've swallowed a rock or eight. "Harry wants to apologize Ginny! He told me that he wants to work it out between you two!"

"What is there to work out?" I snapped. "He slept with me, and broke up with me within twenty-four hours. He humiliated me by not showing up to my party. I know he had a lot of things going on, but he didn't have to say he was coming! I am so sick and tired of him making promises he can't keep!"

"Let it go, Ginny!" Hermione cried, literally making me jump. "He is going to apologize to you and you can either let it go and be miserable for the rest of your life, or accept it. It's up to you."

She stormed past me, leaving me standing there, thinking about what she said. Of course, she had to be right. She's always right. It's one of those annoying things with her, I must say.

"Alright," I cried, rushing over to her broom cupboard. "Say I accept it. Then what, huh? We get married, have the kids and the house and the perfect life?"

"Exactly," Hermione said, smiling over at me. "It's what you want, isn't it?"

"I...yes, it's what I want," I admit, finally hearing it out loud. "I love him, 'Mione."

"Well, don't tell me, silly, tell him!"

"Alright, I will," I sat confidently. As I leave, I know I won't be the one to do it. If he wants forgiveness or anything else from me, he can come and get it himself. I deserve at least that.

An hour later I'm in my room, my sketch book open in front of me, a scene already forming in my mind. The way I sketch is a bit odd to some of the people I talk to. I don't know what I'm going to draw when I sit down with a pencil and some paper. It's only after I finish that I really see what I've drawn. Right now it looks as though I'll be drawing another picture of Harry. This will be the eighth one this week. I did two yesterday.

A knock on my door suddenly shatters the calm quiet of my bedroom. I looked up, startled and quickly shut my book, sliding it under my bed. As I slipped my feet in my slippers, I wondered who it could possibly at this hour.

"Yeah?" I asked, opening the door. My breath got caught in my throat and my heart began beating wildly. I started shaking uncontrollably, not because I was nervous, but because I was worried about what I was going to do.

"Hey, can we talk?" It was Harry.

"Yeah," I muttered, stepping aside and letting him into the room. He gave me a grateful smile and sat down at my chair by the desk.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Oh?" I said vaguely, feeling his eyes on me. Those wonderfully intoxicating eyes that had captured my attention and continued to make me weak in the knees, despite everything we've been through.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Really?" I said sarcastically. "Now that's interesting."

"Ginny…don't be like that," Harry pleaded, looking annoyed.

"Act like what?" I barked.

"Act as though I did something wrong," he snapped.

"No, because taking my virginity and then forgetting about it the next day isn't doing anything wrong, right?"

"I did not forget about it, Ginny! I had to go! It was unfortunate timing!"

"You never wrote to me! You never talked to me or acted as though we did something like that together!" I cried out in frustration. "You tried to push me away!"

"Well, I'm sorry, alright?" Harry barked. "I had a lot on my mind and thinking about you just wasn't one of them!"

"Screw you-"

"No," Harry cut in softly. "I couldn't think about you, Ginny, because it made me want to go back home. God, do you realize how much I care for you? Are you really that blind?"

In the second it took my mind to process just what he was saying, my body, fueled by hormones, had crossed the room and jumped into his arms, kissing him. He seemed a bit shocked, but got over it quickly enough and stumbled down onto the bed with me. I ripped off my shirt, hearing his go next. There were no more words that needed to be spoken between us. We both needed what we were doing.

The next morning I woke to a knock on my door and a very firm: "Wake up, Ginny! You're going to be late for the train! Move it or lose it!"

I groaned and rubbed my eyes, my elbow knocking into something. I turned sharply and there was Harry, fast asleep, his head hogging my pillow.

"Harry!" I croaked, slapping his arm. "Harry, it's morning! My mother is going up to your room!"

He awoke with a jump and leapt out of bed, scrambling to find his clothes. I watched him for a moment before rolling over to help him. I handed him his boxers.

"Here."

"Thanks," he muttered, his face glowing a wonderful red. "I'll see you at breakfast."

"Yeah, I-" But he left with a pop and I felt my heart sink again. I knocked my head against the headboard. I had done it again. I had allowed myself to become entranced by the wonderful person he was. "I am so stupid!" I hissed to myself.

An hour later, Ron and Hermione were scrambling to grab their remaining things before they left for the train with my mother.

"Alright, Ron and Hermione you floo in the first batch. Then Arthur and I will go. Ginny and Harry, you'll be last. Got it?"

"Yes," I replied, not looking at Harry.

"Ginny, can I talk to you?" Harry asked quickly, just before I was about to walk into the fireplace. I turned to him, a bit surprised.

"Yeah," I said, "sure."

He suddenly yanked my arm and dragged me into a hall closet. The door shut over and I was sure I heard him mutter a spell under his breath.

"Harry, what-"

"Marry me, Ginny."

There must have been fifteen minutes of utter silence, followed by a few sputtered sentences before I managed to make a coherent, "What?"

"Marry me. I'm asking you to marry me. It seems right, you know? I love you, you love me, it's the right thing to do. The next step." Any lost anger I felt for him suddenly came back with a vengeance.

"It's the right thing to do?" I snarled. "Well, I don't always do what I'm supposed to, Harry-"

"No!" he shouted quickly. "That isn't what I meant at all!" He licked his lips and took another minute to collect his thoughts. "I love you, Ginny. I've realized that you mean more to me then anyone else in the entire world. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you again. I would be honored if you would marry me. I don't care how long I have to wait for you. If takes ten years, fine, I'll wait ten years. If it takes you the rest of your life to come to a decision then that's how long it's going to take. I want to be with you. And I'm not letting you out of this closet until I get a straight answer."

"Harry," I said weakly. "You can't lock someone in the closet until they agree to marry you!"

"Of course you can, I'm doing it right now," Harry replied. "Please," he dropped down to his knee, "will you marry me?"

"Oh, my god," I whispered, holding onto my forehead. "Harry…I don't know…"
"What? Why not?"

"I'm only seventeen!" I cried.

"I said I'd wait-"

"No, it isn't that! It's just…I haven't even lived my life yet! And you started off by saying that this is something that 'must' be done!"

"But I didn't mean-"

"I have to think about it, Harry," I said finally. He got up again, looking a bit disappointed. "I just need to sort out all of these thoughts…"

"Ok," he kissed my cheek. "I'll Apparate with you."

OoOoOoOoOo

"He did what?" Hermione screamed, as we walked back into the school. "Oh, Ginny! What did you say? I mean, wow!"

"I said I didn't know…I don't know," I replied. My head was beginning to pound steadily, a sure sign I was about to get a mindblowing headache. "Hermione…marriage! You know?"

"Oh, but Ginny, you love him, right?"

"Of course I do," I said, biting my lip. "And I have thought about being Mrs. Harry Potter. I've always wondered what our children would look like." I turned to her. "We'd have two. Jude would have black hair and brown eyes and Stella would have his eyes and my hair."

She smiled at me, a knowing smile that made me want to slap her.

OoOoOoOoOo

"Hello, Ginny." I whipped around and there was Harry. The sight of him made a stream of dirty thoughts float through my mind.

"Hello, Harry. Here." I handed him my list. It was about fifteen-eighteen pages long, bound together by holes and strings. He stared down at it, confused.

"Ginny, what is this?"

"This is proving how much you want to marry me. I will not marry you unless you do everything on this list; prove everything to me on this list. If you do this then I know you are in love with me as much as I am in love with you."

"There must be a hundred things on this list!"

"A hundred and one, actually," I said evenly. He looked back up at me, his green eyes darkening with his thoughts.

"And if I do this, you'll marry me? Definitely. This isn't something you can back out on-"

"This will answer all of my questions and erase my doubts. I will marry you when you complete this list." I kissed him on the cheek and walked away.

A/N Please read and review.