Part 11 – Broken

Four months ago, the Genii home world.

Kolya stood looking down at the man lying on the ground at his feet. He felt no particular satisfaction at what he'd just done, or pleasure. He was just doing his job, repaying his debt. He thought back to another re-education; twenty years ago, an eighteen year refugee whose physical prowess had ear-marked him for a career in the elite guard, he'd been barely more than a boy. He'd gladly accepted the Genii's offer to take him in when his home world had been culled and his nearest and dearest with it. However, problems adjusting to the demands of the Genii had led him to end up here, in re-education. It had been a long process but ultimately the boy had learned that the Genii were his family and he was there to serve them. If he tried hard Kolya could remember the rage and the shouts of defiance that had turned to sobs and pleas and then to dedication and absolute obedience to his new masters.

Kolya had changed since then; he'd learnt his lesson and now he was the teacher. He knelt down next to McKay and reached out to undo the handcuffs.

"No, please, don't," McKay flinched away trying to evade him. "I'm Genii, you said you'd stop. Please."

"Don't worry Dr McKay, we're going to look after you. Just relax. You're one of us now." Kolya gently removed the handcuffs and then propped McKay up into a sitting position whilst they waited for the guards to return with a stretcher.

McKay struggled feebly, trying to bat away Kolya's hands.

"Stop it, McKay. I'm not going to hurt you," growled Kolya. With a muffled groan McKay stopped struggling and surrendered to Kolya's ministrations. He tried to drink the water he was offered but gagged and it ran down his chin. Then he sat there shaking, burning with shame, waiting.


Atlantis – the present day

McKay's story had shocked them to the core. Throughout the telling he had spoken quietly and factually. There had been none of the passion, exaggeration or sarcasm that were McKay's hallmarks and that had somehow made his story all the more horrifying. Elizabeth silently leant forward and placed her hand gently on McKay's forearm to convey her support and empathy. He tried to smile at her but failed – his distress apparent to them all. Sheppard was overwhelmed with guilt that they had left McKay behind and was having difficulty containing his fury. When McKay began to speak again, he was calm although a slight tremble in his voice betrayed him.

"That society is screwed Elizabeth, do you know what I mean? After they'd finished with me they put me back into hospital and patched me up. Cowen came to see me every day. I had to say 'it' every day. The threat of more…" he hesitated. "The threat of more violence was always there and I gave in. I said what they wanted. I did what they wanted. I couldn't do anything else."

He scrubbed at his eyes and sat for several minutes pinching the bridge of his nose as he struggled for control. He drew a deep breath and then looked up. "I… I was so scared…. I couldn't see any other way. If they had continued the re-education I could have told them everything… I think I would have. It was so very hard to resist - when I did what they wanted they treated me well and if I didn't, well, they didn't. It was so black and white, so logical." He paused again his face twisted with remembered pain.

"They tried to get me to hate you and they so very nearly succeeded. I knew they were manipulating me but it was so hard to resist." He drank some coffee and concentrated on controlling his shaking hands as he did so.

"I was hospitalised for three weeks and then it went back to what it was before. I worked, every sixth day was free, I met with Cowen every day and I said and did what they wanted," his voice was bitter with self recrimination.

Elizabeth spoke up. "Rodney, don't belittle yourself. I've seen what you gave them and discussed it with Zelenka. Yes, you've helped them with a lot but none of it damages us. You've given them shielding to protect their health, improved their environmental controls, given them long range sensors to alert them to the Wraith and improved their hydro-electric power generation. You didn't betray us. You kept our survival a secret. You did what you needed to do to survive and you have no doubt saved the lives of many Genii who would have died from radiation poisoning or been taken in a culling." McKay sighed deeply and closed his eyes thinking back to the weeks and months following the re-education process.


Four months ago, the Genii home world.

McKay came around to the sound of Sora's voice; she was angry, he hoped it wasn't with him. She was arguing with someone, vehemently. He tried to open his eyes to look around the room to find her but his eyes were swollen making it impossible for him to open them more than a slit. He tried to focus on her words but couldn't understand them. There was a ringing in his ears and his brain had turned to mush. He gave up and lay back on the pillows letting his mind wander barely registering the voices at all.

"I still think that this was unnecessary, Sir. I had the situation under control." Sora's voice was shaking with controlled anger.

"Sora, forgive me if I beg to differ, this was very necessary. You know that McKay is a resourceful man, this will make him think a little before the next time he tries anything and believe me he will. It also has the advantage that he is now immobilised." The other voice was Cowen's but McKay could make no sense of the words and let the sounds just wash over him.

"But four days? That is extreme." Sora was not giving up lightly.

"I agree, but that was his choice, not ours. Anyway, now is the time to take action in a case like this. You will find the rest of the programme will progress much more smoothly now, Sora, believe me, I have done this many times before. True, it can be distressing to see a subject at this stage but it is in his interests that we have done what we did."

Sora felt the fury rise in her again. She had been so close to getting McKay somewhere they could talk freely but for now her plans were foiled. The guard would be increased and surveillance would be constant. She didn't know if she could keep up with her façade for the time it would take her to set up a situation where they could be alone together again. She was furious with Cowen for his arrogance - did he honestly believe that this was in McKay's interests and not his own? She was also furious with McKay for his stupidity – didn't he realise he could have been killed for what he had done? With a supreme effort of will she regained control of her emotions and became the detached, hardened soldier once more.

"Yes, Sir. My apologies for speaking out of turn. It was not acceptable. It is just that I have to ensure that this integration is successful, it is extremely important to me. We stand to gain so much. It will not happen again." Sora lowered her eyes and stood in front of Cowen, her shoulders slightly bent with an air of submission about her.

Cowen smiled, pleased to see some of Sora's passion returning to her and even more pleased to see her submission to his authority. "It's alright, Sora. I know that all you want is for this to work and your idea of presenting yourself to him as a guarantor for his behaviour is masterful – a deft touch." He reached out and, putting a hand under her chin, he gently raised her head until she was looking into his eyes. "I trust you with this. Tyrus would be proud of you." At the mention of her father a brief frown of pain crossed her brow.

McKay registered the quiet after the voices stilled. He felt light headed and disconnected from his body which was, he decided in a strangely detached manner, no bad thing considering how mangled it was. He had been given something to drink when they had brought him to the hospital and since then he had been floating on a drug induced cloud drifting in and out of consciousness. They had cleaned him up, treated his injuries and put him to bed. He had barely noticed when they stitched up the gashes in his skin, treated the burns, contusions and cuts although the process of setting his leg had been distinctly unpleasant and he had shared his displeasure with the medical staff.

He felt relief and gratitude that the pain was over. All he had to face now were the ramifications of what he'd said but, due to the drugs, he couldn't focus long enough to follow that line of thought.

His thoughts turned to Sora. What had he done? He had turned the only person in this hell hole towards whom he had any feelings, apart from hatred, into a hostage to ensure his good behaviour. He groaned and shrank back further into the pillows overcome with guilt. He wanted to see her, to apologise, to beg her forgiveness, anything.

"Sora?" he called out. When she did not appear immediately he felt wounded and became belligerent. "Sora!" he shouted this time.

"McKay, it's OK. I'm here." Sora came into his field of vision and sat besides him taking hold of his hand.

"You're all mad, completely and utterly barking mad. Have I told you that before?" stuttered McKay accusingly. He tried to focus on her, hold the anger but couldn't. He felt a wave of grief for his own lost integrity sweep over him and felt a hot prickling behind his eyes.

"You were right you know, all I did was say what they wanted and it was OK, they stopped," his voice wavered pathetically, "I did this to myself, Sora, that's what they said." Sora looked at him with pity in her eyes. "I'm Genii….." he whispered, tears welled up in his eyes and began to run down his checks. "I'm Genii," he repeated. Abruptly he was aggressive again, "So how many people have you seen like this?" he demanded. "How many people have you broken? Huh? Huh?"

"Only you," she answered quietly and, as quickly as it had flared, his anger faded and only sorrow, guilt and humiliation remained. He reached for her hand.

"Will they do something like this to you if I leave? Will they?" silently she nodded hating herself for the lies and deceit. McKay groaned again, "I'm sorry, Sora, I'm so sorry," he whispered and closed his eyes overcome with self recrimination.

He felt her lips brush his forehead and heard her whisper, "So am I McKay. So am I". He could feel himself begin to cry, silent sobs wracked through him and he fought for control but in his exhausted and drugged state it was a fight he couldn't win. Sora gently wrapped her arms around him, carefully avoiding his injuries. She laid her cheek next to his and in a quiet soothing whisper tried to reassure him that everything was alright. He could make no sense of what she said but her tone and presence comforted him. After a few minutes the sobbing stopped and McKay, succumbing to the drug, slept for hours and hours.