Disclaimer: Nope, things haven't changed since last chapter – I still don't own Samurai Deeper Kyo. sniffle!
Intermezzo
Chapter 1: Allegro non Molto
Three years later...
The sun was setting and the market was nearly empty. Summer heat was slowing fading as the evening breeze wafted road dust and the debris of the day's commerce. I gave a sigh of relief and began gathering up my assorted dried and fresh herds, powders, grinders, mortars and pestles. My load would be considerably lighter than it had been this morning – that made me smile, even though I felt like I was about to drop from exhaustion. It would mean another extended stint of gathering and preparation once I was on the road again, but knowing that my work was doing some good was worth future effort. Besides, I had a soft, clean futon waiting for me – lots of things don't seem so bad when you know something like that is in your future!
That, and a nice hot bath.
I had just shut the last drawer on the last cache of small ceramic jars when I felt a sudden icy prickle on the back of my neck. No mistaking that old adrenaline rush signaling danger. I reached down into my obi for my poisoned needles, but I wasn't quick enough - strong arms suddenly enveloped me from behind, a large hand clapping over my mouth to stifle my startled shriek as I was jerked out of the back of the stall into the cool dark shadows of the alley behind it.
"Tell me," a voice whispered harshly into my ear, "How does a little slip of a girl like you manage not to get sliced to ribbons when she's so oblivious to her surroundings?"
I worked my mouth free of my captor's hand. "I'm sorry, sir," I said sweetly, "But if you're in the market for herbs to increase your intelligence, I'm afraid you're beyond my skill to help."
"Tch!" My assailant gave me one last lecherous grope, which made me yelp in indignation. Honestly, he hasn't, and probably never will, learn there are just some things you don't do in public! "More than a fortnight since I saw you last and that's the greeting you give me?" Kyo demanded, releasing me.
I spun around, smirking up at him despite the fact that he really deserved a smack. "You're lucky I knew it was you, Onime no Kyo, or you would have been flat out on the ground from one of my poisoned needles!" I told him in my sternest, brattiest voice.
Kyo rolled his eyes and picked up his katana, which he had leaned against the back of my stall. "Hn." "As if," he might as well have added. "If Taka-baba was such a great healer with such an ultimate respect for life, why the hell did she teach you to use those things?" he demanded, brushing past me into the stall.
"Even Taka-sensei realized a girl needs to know how to defend against jerks and perverts," I reminded him, laying an emphasis on the honorific of my late teacher.
He arched an eyebrow at that one, which I pretended to disregard as I picked up my portable medicine chest. "I wouldn't be surprised if that old witch included me in that category," I heard him mutter.
"Hey, now is certainly not the time to be speaking ill of the dead," I told him, "Wait until the day after tomorrow if you have to gripe."
He eyed me, clearly not amused. "Do you always take Obon seriously, or are you feeling particularly frisky today?"
"Hm?" I responded innocently.
"Why are you in this rathole of a town, anyway?" Kyo demanded sharply, "I got back to Kashikojima and I hear you've left, on your own, for this damned place."
"It's not a...!" I began, but with supreme effort I curbed my tongue. It wasn't worth trying to fight him over, and besides, I had places to be. "Let's go," I said, slinging the medicine chest on my back and stepping out of the stall so he'd have no choice but to follow me if he wanted to continue his inquisition.
"Where the hell are you going?" Kyo asked after me. I looked over my shoulder, startled. Kyo was apparently intending to head in the opposite direction.
"I'm going to the mayor's house – that's where we're staying tonight."
Kyo frowned. "Since when do medicine peddlers and wandering samurai stay in the local bigwig's place?" he wanted to know, not bothering to move.
I stopped and turned around, to make a remark about him being nosy. That's when I finally noticed he seemed unusually tense, and not just because of our brief little spat. Kyo, tense, is never a good thing. "What's wrong?" I asked instead, "You didn't have any trouble hunting down those bandits, did you?"
Right away, I knew that wasn't it. Kyo snorted, as if disgusted at how dense I could be. "You mean those Akaisora-shuu assholes you insisted I hunt down for what they did in Kashikojima? The damn cowards made me chase them all the way to the far side Yamato-no-kuni, but there's no way they'll ever threaten another village again," he informed me, crossing his arms across his chest. "Why? You'd think I'd come back before the job was done?"
"No, nothing like that..." I shook my head. Kyo was trying to pick a fight – whether because he was in an exceptionally bad mood or (more likely) he was trying to distract me from my first question for whatever Kyo-logical reason. You can't really spendthree years with someone and not figure out a couple of their quirks.
Though Kyo, admittedly, never ceases to find new ways to aggravate.
I sighed resignedly. "In any case, thank you for taking the job," I continued, walking back to him, "I know Onime no Kyo doesn't have much use for jobs like being a yojimbo, but..."
"...but you're a sucker for hard-luck cases. I know," Kyo grunted, pretending to be completely disinterested in the conversation.
Grinning, I tapped him on his breastplate. "Oh, so you didn't take the job because of the money?" I teased.
He ignored me.
"In any case," I said lightly, turning back around, "Let's get on our way and I'll explain everything."
"Hn," Kyo grunted, falling in step beside me.
"We're staying at Mayor Dazai-san's house tonight," I told him, "because I saved his grandson's life while you were out chasing bandits all over Ise and Yamato. A servant of Dazai-san's household came down to Kashikojima to see if they had a healer to spare for the sake of his eldest grandson. The little boy had come down with a case of swamp fever several days before, but the boy's father and the town doctor had been drafted into the daimyo's army last spring. What else could I do?" I bit my lip, remembering little Gasuke's whimperings because he was so exhausted from successive chills and fever to cry, and how his mother and grandmother and the mayor himself begged me to heal him.
"If it hadn't been for those years with Taka-sensei, I wouldn't have been able to do anything. Everything she taught me – that's what saved him." My hands clenched the straps of my medicine chest tightly and my feet slowed. But when it really mattered, when she was the one who was sick and in pain, I hadn't been able to do anything!
She had welcomed death so peacefully, as if the pain didn't matter. I could recall her face so clearly, hear her voice. "What's with that face, Yu-chan? I've lived long enough. You're my last pupil and your training is far from complete, but I know I can leave this world knowing that one day, you will be a true healer..."
But if only I had known what to do, if I had had more time, if I could only...
"Hmph." Kyo took me by the elbow and pulled me down the empty thoroughfare. I jerked myself out of my reverie so I wouldn't fall flat on my face. "It seems to me that you are the one the family's thanking," he remarked before I could rail on him, "It's the student who can carry out what they've been taught without hesitation or regret who pays the greatest respect to their master."
Kyo can be scarily perceptive at times, I've noticed. But I found myself smiling, like my pack wasn't as heavy as it had been a moment ago. "Ano, Kyo?" We were walking through the deepening twilight town; small, controlled bonfires were being lit in front of every household, beacons to guide the ghosts of relatives and ancestors to their homes. Obonmatsuri, the festival of the dead, was now in its second night, and I took it as good sign that Kyo had just happened to arrive on this day.
"What is it?" he asked me, not even bothering to slow down.
I took a deep breath. "Maybe, tonight," I began, "you can drink your sake with Kyoshiro."
Kyo stopped dead in his tracks, his hold on my arm tightening suddenly as he turned to look down at me.
"It's been three, nearly four years," I said hurriedly, glancing around the empty street, anywhere but at him, "For so long a time, Kyo...tonight is as good a night as any to start making your peace."
Even mentioning Kyoshiro's name, ever since that winter night, has been something of a taboo between Kyo and me. For the longest time, I was simply afraid to bring it up, because I had no idea how Kyo would react.
But then I began to notice things, subtle things... during the winter especially, Kyo would become withdrawn, listless or he would assume the crude mannerisms of the heartless samurai I could still remember from all those years ago when I had met Onime no Kyo and not known Kyo himself. Nothing I could say or do at those times could make him open up, and more often than not, he would leave me with Taka-sensei and not return for weeks at a time. It hurt, the first time – each time, but he always came back to me. I learned to tread lightly and accept his reticence, but it was still frustrating not to be able to help him.
Patience has never been my strongest point, as both Onii-sama and Taka-sensei told me many times. I suppose I was taking a risk, bringing up Kyoshiro just when Kyo had returned, but it was necessary. No matter how quick he was to sneer at it, Kyo was still tied to his past – to Kyoshiro in particular. He needed to learn to reconcile with it – with him. I could speak from experience, after all.
For the longest time, we stood there, in the middle of the street lit by fires meant for the dead. I finally dared look up at him, and saw that Kyo was staring fixedly at the house-front behind me, and the fire crackling in its brazier.
"Kyo?"
His jaw clenched and he turned his face toward the way ahead. "Stop dallying, woman," he said, walking again and pulling me along with him.
"Ack, Kyo!" I yelped, "Do you even know where you're going?" I jerked my head back at the intersection we had already stormed through. "We needed to turn right back there."
Not even sparing me a glance, Kyo abruptly changed course back to the side street.
Caught off guard, I instinctively resisted and my geta twisted beneath me. The heavy medicine chest on my back didn't help matters. Down I went. "Augh!"
"What's going on here!"
'Don't I recognize that voice?' I opened one eye very carefully. The expected one-point impact I had braced myself for had never come – Kyo had caught me at the last second, but only just. I didn't dare move a muscle, lest I throw both of us off-balance and completely ruin the evening.
"Getting rather klutzy, aren't you?" Kyo breathed in my ear before finally pulling me upright.
"Stand and declare yourself!" someone shouted; the same voice from before, I noted. Kyo was still holding me too closely for me to turn around and see the speaker.
Whoever it was, they had a lantern with them.
"Doesn't the night watch have something better to do than bother people out for a walk?" Kyo snarled, looking at the speaker. He released me, only to push me behind him.
"The night watch has a duty, sir, to stop and question anyone we see engaging in suspicious activity, especially so close to Dazai-shichou's residence," another voice replied firmly, "The Akaisora-shuu bandits have been operating near Tokubo of late, after all."
"And your point is...?" I noticed Kyo's hand was on the hilt of his katana.
'That's not good...' I took hold of his sword hand and stepped in front of him. "Konbonwa," I greeted the two men who had accosted us, raising my hand to shield my eyes from the lantern light, "My name is..."
One of the watchmen, upon seeing me, instantly lowered the lantern, which he had been holding out on a long pole. The other took his hand from the hilt of his katana. "Yuya!" he blurted, his brown eyes lighting up with friendly recognition, "What are you doing here?"
'Oh, this is just fan-flippin'-tastic...' "Konbonwa, Oze-san," I greeted through grit teeth.
"Please, Yuya, I've already told you, it's Touji – there's no need for there to be such formality between us," Touji replied flirtatiously.
I swear I heard Kyo growl. I was tempted to say, "Down boy," but I don't think he would have been too amused.
"Very well, Touji-kun," I said instead, giving Kyo's hand a squeeze, "Best that we not detain you any longer. I'm sure you have more important duties to take care of. My companion and I are just going to Dazai-shichou's house..."
"Oh yes, who is this companion of yours, Yuya?" Touji asked, turning his attention to Kyo and giving him a disdainful once-over. "I'm supposing you're her yojimbo or some such? Rather a poor job you've been doing, letting her come to Tokubo unescorted."
I have come to the conclusion that men are, by and large, morons.
Kyo actually did growl and I flattened myself up against him to hold him in place.
"Maa, maa, Touji-kun," interjected the other watchman – Eijiro, I think; I never heard his family name. He smiled blithely at Kyo and me, the lantern pole slung casually over his shoulder like a fishing rod. "We have been quite honored to have Shiina-sensei come to our poor town. Her healing abilities are quite remarkable indeed, as anyone could tell you. Any companion of hers is equally welcome."
I could have kissed him. "Thank you for the vote of confidence, Eijiro-kun," I said, smiling warmly. Kyo relaxed a bit, and Touji looked miffed.
"We won't detain you any longer, Shiina-sensei," Eijiro said, with a nod down the street we were to take, "Have a good evening." He bowed politely.
"Same to you," I replied, returning the favor.
Kyo shook loose from my hold and began walking down the street. I was about to follow him, when...
"Oi, Yuya!"
'Argh...' I turned reluctantly and flashed Touji a sweet, "shut-up-baka-before-you-say-something-that will-get-your-head-ripped-off" smile.
"...you are going to be at the bon-odori tomorrow night, right?"
"Well..." I hedged. Dazai-san had invited me as a personal guest of his to the last night of Obon. He had gone into great detail as to the town tradition of not only having the time-honored enormous bonfire and dancing, but also a toro nagashi, where little boats bearing lanterns would be placed on the river east of town to float out to sea. It symbolized the dead taking their leave of the living.
All in all, it sounded like great fun, but as for Kyo...
I glanced after him, and saw that he had stopped and was looking at Touji as though the boy was a particularly annoying fly he was going to swat with his katana. Touji was oblivious, of course.
"Of course!" I chirped, "See you there!" I turned and hurried Kyo along before Touji could think up another delaying tactic. Or Kyo thwacked him, whichever came first.
"Who..." Kyo asked almost a minute later, "...was that moron?"
"Just some kid who got it in his head that he's the best thing since they put the seaweed around the rice and called it onigiri," I replied with a shrug, "He was part of the gate guard when I came into town, and he kept popping up at Dazai-san's house on some errand or other for his captain." I peered at Kyo out of the corner of my eye. "Why, are you jealous or something?"
Kyo snorted. I laughed.
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"Ara, ara Gasuke-kun, if you do not slow down, you are going to get sick all over again!" Kuniko admonished her son breathily as the boy grabbed two more daifuku from the tray in the center of the table, "You have had too many already!"
Gasuke quickly crammed one of the daifuku into his mouth, ballooning his cheeks out as his mother moved to take the sweet red bean dumplings away.
"Tee-hee, 'Nii-chan's a squirrel!" cried little Aiko, pointing and giggling as her little sister, Fusako, shrieked with laughter.
"Ah, let the boy have his fill, Kuniko-chan," Nobio advised her daughter-in-law over the ear-piercing squeals of laughter from the little girls and Gasuke's intelligible protests, "Shiina-sensei did say that he needs to eat to regain his strength. Ne, Shiina-sensei?"
"Ah..." I forcibly stifled my own giggles before answering in as serious a tone as I could muster. "I have noticed that Gasuke-kun's appetite has returned and that the swamp fever seems to have disappeared completely. About the only thing he needs to worry about is getting indigestion from eating too much too quickly." I paused significantly and raised an eyebrow at Gasuke, who had stopped trying to hide under the table to hear my pronouncement. "While I do have medicine to treat such a condition, I must warn him that it tastes quite bitter..."
Gasuke's eyes went wide and he trust the remaining bun into his mother's waiting hands. I think he would have tried spitting out the half-chewed one in his mouth if his mother, grandmother, and sisters hadn't started scolding him.
"Ah, the family is so lively tonight. I can hear my father and older brother laughing," Dazai-san remarked in his dignified, reedy voice. He gestured to the butsudan containing his family ihai and the kamidana on the wall above it. "They approve of our levity – too often have we been without it."
"You have done me...both of us, a great honor in letting us eat with your family tonight," I responded quietly.
Dazai-san nodded his head, the feathered wisps of his cloud white hair stirring with the motion. "It is most fitting that the healer who saved my grandson's life be present this evening, so that our ancestors may thank her in person," he said.
I really couldn't think of an appropriate answer, so I merely bowed slightly to him and to the ancestral altars, replete with a miniature feast for the spirits who had come to visit.
"I have asked that my eldest son, Makoto, watch over his younger brother," Dazai-san continued, his withered hands clasping his cooling tea cup to hide their trembling, "He was killed at Sekigahara, and I know he wants to spare Kuniko-chan the grief his own Umeko experienced before she joined him."
I purposefully did not look at Kyo, who had been sitting rigidly silent beside me the entire evening. "Your sons were...are both brave men, ne?" I said.
"Aa," agreed Dazai-san, his old eyes staring at the ihai as if he was looking into the faces of those long departed, "Giichi was too young to join theEastern Army at the time; he tried running after Makoto, but Makoto sent him back to us. When we finally received word that Makoto had been killed by one of those damned Tokugawa riflemen...Giichi swore then that he would never be turned back from another battle." He took a gulp of his tea and shook his head. "I suppose all young men are like that. We grandfathers, whose fighting days are gone even from memory, can only sit at home and pray for their return."
"And look after their wives and children," I added softly, inclining my head toward Kuniko, who was trying to convince Gasuke, Aiko, and Fusako that it was bedtime. It wasn't going too well.
Dazai-san blinked and looked over at me, rather startled. For a brief instant, I wondered if I had somehow offended him, but then his wrinkled face creased in an awkward smile. "Aa, Shiina-sensei, we also do that," he said. He patted my hand. "It is quite rare to hear such wisdom from so young a woman. I did wonder why your stoic companion was willing to let you wander about on your own, but now I see that he appreciates your self-containment as much as I have come to."
"Thank you, Dazai-san," I said, blushing slightly.
"If I may ask, Kyo-dono, how was it that you became Shiina-sensei's...protector?" Kuniko asked in the lull of conversation. She had been the one to ask me if I would like to have another futon placed in my room for my "husband;" I think my admittedly instinctive, "He's not my husband" had given her quite a turn.
Kyo hadn't made things better by telling her that one futon was enough.
"She made the mistake of challenging someone stronger than her," Kyo answered unexpectedly. The children, who had been begging their grandmother to intervene on their behalf and let them stay up later, quieted instantly.
"'Nee-san was going to fight someone!" Gasuke demanded, his eyes wide. He looked at me and scratched his head, apparently puzzled. "But you're a girl, aren't you?"
"Last time I checked," I answered with a short laugh.
"But why on earth would Shiina-sensei attempt such a thing?" Nobio asked, a hint of disapproval in her voice, "Surely she would have no need..."
"Need? Certainly. In most cases, self-interest managed to keep her alive. But it seems lately that her sympathy is overriding her common sense."
I was wondering there was a way I could spill his tea in his lap and make it look like an accident. Maybe an elbow jab would be more effective, since he had taken off his armor before sitting down to dinner.
"And so...you saved her life?" Kuniko concluded after a long, awkward pause.
"In passing," said Kyo shortly. Kuniko tilted her head to one side as though trying to process what exactly Kyo meant by "in passing," while Nobio pursed her lips and shook her head.
I wanted to follow Gasuke's example - crawl under the table and stay there.
"It seems to me that Shiina-sensei's compassion is contagious," Dazai-san spoke up. He was looking at Kyo with a slight smile on his lips. "I recall word coming from Kashikojima almost a week ago that a ronin wearing an oni's crimson armor had come into town. Upon hearing of their most recent attack by bandits, he took up the job of being their yojimbo, despite the fact the reward was far less than what a ronin of any skill would usually have demanded. It is said that the young healer woman who accompanied the ronin had spoken but one word to convince him."
"It was more than one," Kyo corrected gruffly, frowning at me as I bit off my laugh.
Dazai-san nodded dismissively. "Be that as it may, I can safely assume that we will all sleep safely tonight, knowing that none of the Akaisora-shuu will ever threaten us again."
"Why is that, ojii-san?" Aiko asked. Being six, she was only vaguely aware of the fear her elders had of that name, having never seen what that murderous group had wrought in the towns and farming villages to the south. She looked at Kyo. "Did 'Nii-san do something to scare them away?"
"I betcha he did more than that!" Gasuke crowed excitedly. He leapt to his feet and, miming a swordsman's stance, swung his arms about with such enthusiasm that he almost fell over.
"What did he do?" Aiko insisted, stamping her foot impatiently when her brother continued to slash at invisible enemies and did not answer her.
"Nothing you need worry your pretty head about, Ai-chan," Nobio told her, pinching the little girl's cheek, "Now, it is time for all good children to go to bed!"
"Awww!" Gasuke and Aiko whined; Fusako didn't join in, as she was already sound asleep in Kuniko's lap.
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I tied the sash of my yukata and took a deep breath. 'Here goes nothing...' Picking up the full sake jug and the five choko I had requested from my hosts, I walked out onto the deck overlooking the back courtyard.
The nearly-full moon was sailing through a sky rife with the tattered ends of clouds. Amidst the night-blooming jasmine of Nobio's garden, fireflies danced and flashed their green-yellow lanterns, while cicadas chirred and sang in accompaniment. The air was weighted by the remnants of the day's heat and the jasmines' perfume.
"Beautiful..." I gasped, having not had a chance to fully appreciate a late summer night for some time. I could almost forget what I had come out there for...
"Are you just going to stand there all night or are you going to pour that sake?"
...almost.
"After what you said at dinner tonight, I don't know if I should even share this," I said, looking down at Kyo and holding the sake jug up out of his reach.
"You expect me to say something besides the truth?" he retorted, reaching around behind my knees and pulling me down into his lap.
I barely managed to save the sake. "Give me a little warning next time, will you?" I huffed, though, to be truthful, I was more than comfortable just where I was.
He raised an eyebrow. "No fun in that," he told me before reaching for the sake jug.
"Ah-ah-ah!" I scolded, holding it closer to my chest, "I was the one who brought it out here! We're doing this properly! Now, let me up so I can pour it for you."
Kyo made a rumbling sound deep in his throat and for a moment I thought he was going to go for something other than the sake. Then he lifted me up and helped me slide over onto the deck beside him.
I laid out the five choko in a row between us.
"What the hell is this?" he wanted to know, "Are you trying to play some sort of drinking game? After that last one, I'd think you'd..."
"No, it's not a drinking game!" I interrupted, blushing a hot, deep scarlet. Kyo smirked. "For your information, this is for our visitors."
"Visitors?"
"This one is for my onii-sama," I said, pouring a measure of sake into the first choko, "For Taka-sensei. This one is mine. This is for you..."
"And that last one?" No smirk now. Kyo's voice had taken on a quiet, dangerous tone.
"This?" I filled the choko and looked up at him. "This is for your guest, whomever you choose."
Kyo narrowed his eyes at me. "What are you playing at, little girl?"
"Nothing; it's your choice to make," I said calmly, even though my heart was hammering in my chest, "Besides, it's unlucky to have only four in a gathering on such a night."
Kyo took up his choko, his piercing garnet gaze never straying from my face. "I don't believe in bad luck," he said, before downing his sake and handing the empty choko to me.
I sighed as I refilled it and gave it back to him. "As for myself..." I picked up my choko and held it up to the moonlight, "...I remember the first time onii-sama let me have sake. I was ten years old and it was New Years. I had been begging him to let me try some because everywhere I looked, it seemed, adults were drinking it and being very happy. Finally he said yes, but he also gave me a stern warning:
"'Know the difference between happiness and intoxication. One feeds the soul, and the other can destroy it.'"
I took a sip of my sake, appreciating its smooth flavor before swallowing. "I tried downing a full carafe and wound up getting sick. I never touched the stuff again for a good many years."
Kyo made a sound that may or may not have been a laugh. "That explains why you're such a lightweight," he said.
"I am not!" I argued, "I just appreciate sake more than most others!"
"Whatever," he said. He reached over and took up the sake jug, refilled my choko and then his. He didn't drink right away, but leaned his head back against the support beam behind him, his eyes out on the yard, watching the fireflies dance to cicada song. I turned my eyes skyward, following the track of the moon as it was veiled and unveiled by passing clouds.
"Remember the time Taka-sensei told us about sake from the Western Lands being made from grapes or honey?" I asked after a while.
"What about it?"
"Hm? Oh, nothing; I was just remembering how Taka-sensei always told the best stories. Everything she saw in China and along the Silk Road, into the Western Lands..." I swallowed against the rising burn of tears in my throat.
It was in the spring, three years ago, when I had first met the woman who would teach me the powers contained in the wooden chest I had inherited from Kyoshiro. Taka-sensei, the only name by which I would know her, was nearing the end of her long life and decided to take me as her last apprentice. Though one might doubt her incredible claim to have journeyed beyond Japan's shores, past even the farthest reaches of China to the lands beyond, no one could deny the extent of her knowledge of medicine and healing craft. The properties of willow bark, angelica root and many, many others were opened to me, and I learned to save lives, where before I would have been helpless against pain and suffering.
But more than physical healing, Taka-sensei taught me about strength, quiet wisdom, and faith in hope. Kyo had given me a path to walk along, and his presence beside me made me want to be strong for his sake. Taka-sensei helped me to find what strength I already possessed, but had not been aware of. Her words might have been sharp, her humor caustic, and her lessons demanding, but I would not have traded those short years for anything.
If I had ever known a mother, I would have wanted her to be like my mentor. All I had left of her was her memory and the few books she had when the final illness took her from me.
'I'm so weak. Onii-sama was taken from me, and I couldn't defend him. Taka-sensei was taken from me, and I couldn't save her...'
My choko was lifted from my trembling fingers, and a warm, callused hand on my cheek brushed away my tears. "I thought I told you," Kyo said, lifting my face to look me in the eye, "being yourself, being a healer, is enough. Crying doesn't befit you or Taka-baba's memory."
"It's only been a month Kyo," I said, blinking away the tears that continued to eke out, "I just can't..."
"Then mourn. Mourn her, but do not forget your future," he told me, "The past must bury the past."
I nodded and took a deep breath. "Then maybe..." My eyes flicked down to the last choko. "Kyo..."
His jaw clenched, and I expected him to thrust me away. I cringed. 'Baka, baka, bakabakabakaBAKA!'
"Why does he matter so much to you?"
'Huh?' Kyo's voice was quiet, halfway between anger and confusion. At least he wasn't storming away. "Because..." What could I say? "Because he matters to you – because he was part of you. Kyo, he was only human."
"That bastard was the one who killed your brother, remember? He killed the most important person in the world to you, and you can forgive him for that!"
"But he also gave me you."
Kyo's eyes widened.
'Now I've done it...' "I'm sorry, I just thought...I wasn't..." I shook my head and made to stand.
Unexpectedly, he pulled me to him, upsetting the line of choko and spilling the sake all over my yukata.
It was times like these that I got a hint of how strong Kyo really was. Very nearly crushed to his chest, I couldn't have pulled away if I wanted to. His breathing was rapid, shallow, as if he had just run to Edo and back. "Don't leave."
"Kyo?" I asked worriedly. The tenseness I thought I had observed earlier was undeniably apparent in every line and plane of his body. "Kyo, what is it?"
"What I would give to not..." he muttered; I got the impression he wasn't speaking to me.
"Kyo?" I was getting worried now. I thought back to earlier in the evening. "Something happened. While you were in Yamato, right? Something happened when you were hunting the Akaisora-shuu...?"
For a long time he did not answer. "Something's coming...I don't know what it is, but I can feel it. The scent of blood is in the wind, faint, but growing stronger." His voice was low, hoarse, and...eager? "I can only relate it to the time just before Sekigahara. Or to when Nobunaga returned."
Cold dread clenched my heart. "Another war?" I whispered.
I felt Kyo shake his head. "More than that – more terrible."
"What are you going to do about it?" I managed. Kyo's conception of "terrible" was probably many degrees removed from anything I could imagine.
Again, Kyo paused. "In the morning we will leave this town. There is someone I want to speak with in Kudoyama."
'Kudoyama? That means...' "But Yukimura-san's practically imprisoned there," I protested, "You can't expect him to..."
"He remains there by choice," Kyo interrupted shortly, "You can bet there isn't a thing happening in Japan, let alone the Kii peninsula, he doesn't know about."
I let my head sag against his collarbone. "All right," I agreed, "But please, Kyo, can we stay here one more day?"
His embrace loosened so that he could look down at me. "Why?"
"Dazai-san...and the children - they so wanted me to come to the bon-odori. It's one night, Kyo. Will it make that much difference?" 'Even you, Onime no Kyo, need time to rest. Even you need time to be at peace, no matter how briefly.'
"No difference to me," he said after a moment, with a sneer that didn't reach his garnet eyes, "You're probably just in it for the men who'll be staring at you."
"Yes, I'm in the market for a husband," I replied sarcastically, relieved and disappointed that he had stopped being serious, "I thought I'd check all my options. A town festival is the perfect place to start."
"As if you'd find a better man than me," Kyo retorted.
"I won't know until I look, now will I?" I returned sweetly, "Now, let me up. I want to go to bed."
"What if I don't want you to?"
"Tough. I'm tired and tomorrow's going to be a late night."
"Tonight can be a late night, too."
'Dammit, he got me to blush!' "Onime no Kyo, let me up right now or you're going to be very sorry!"
"Hn." Kyo leaned back on his hands, letting me find my own way off his lap. I slid onto the wooden deck and found that, miraculously, there was still one choko standing. I picked it up and held it out to him.
"Kyo, tonight...if you ask me to forgive myself, I ask you to forgive..."
"Tch." He took the choko and set it down firmly beside him. "Pour me another."
"Hai." I picked up the jug and one of the scattered choko, pouring him one last measure of sake.
Kyo accepted it and drained it slowly, looking at me all the while. "Tonight..." he declared, "he can wait until I'm done."
I nodded. Well, what could I expect? It was a small step, but at least it was a step. Looking down at my liquor-soaked clothing, I wrinkled my nose. "Geez Kyo, look at what you did to my yukata!" I got to my feet. "I'm going to have to change into my spare one now."
I had taken one step into the room when I heard him whisper in my ear, "Don't bother. You won't be needing it tonight."
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Narrator here. I hope you have enjoyed the first chapter. Forgive my fast-forward, but it is necessary, as you, best beloveds, will doubtless see.
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Music for this chapter:
Vivaldi's Four Seasons, L'Estate (Allegro non molto Adagio)
Beethoven's Op. 27, no. 2 in C# min.: Sonata quasi una fantasia (Moonlight Sonata)
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Dictionary:
"Konbanwa" – "Good evening."
-baba: Kyo refers to Yuya's late mentor by a term that's rather disrespectful toward older women. As he uses it, it's "hag" or "crone." Why he does this will be revealed in later chapters.
-sensei: "teacher," but also, "doctor" (hence the use of "Shiina-sensei" when people address Yuya)
-san: "Mr." or "Ms." (or "Mrs.") Personally, I think that's a tad confusing...
-dono: formal honorific equivalent to "milord" or "milady;" sometimes used interchangeably with "-sama"
-kun: normally an honorific applied to boys or young men with whom one has a comfortable acquaintance, but can also be applied to subordinates/younger people of either gender.
-nii-san; -nii-chan: "Big Brother." Kids in Japan often refer to young men who are not in their family by this honorific. Yuya refers to her late brother as "onii-sama," which is just a super-polite, formal derivation. It indicates the respect and reverence she holds for his memory.
-nee-chan; -nee-san: "Big Sister." See above definition.
Ojii-san, -jii-san: Grandfather, grandpa
-shichou: "Mayor."
Akaisora-shuu: literally "Red Sky Group." No historical or cultural basis here, I just needed a name for a group of bandits. (--) Don't look at me like that!
Obon(matsuri): Buddhist religious festival celebrating the annual return of the spirits of the dead to their ancestral homes. Small fires are lit in front of every house to guide these spirits home. Often, the dead are spoken of as if they are present at family gatherings during this time, and they are expected to partake in the special food their living relatives have prepared. Graves are cleaned and attended to, much like at New Years. The three-day celebration takes place in mid-July or mid-August, the specific days depending on the lunar calendar.
bon-odori: traditional Shinto dance taking place on the last night of Obon to honor the deceased and give them a good send-off. Includes a communal bonfire and sometimes a toro-nagashi, which Yuya describes in the story.
butsudan: domestic Buddhist altar found in most Japanese houses that house the family ihai, or ancestral memorial tablets. The names of the dead (kaimyo) are inscribed on these tablets and represent the soul of the dead person.
kamidana: Shinto household shrine (literally: "god/spirit-shelf"). Spirits of the dead become protective family kami in the Shinto tradition, so there are often tablets similar to ihai on this small altar to represent them.
Yamoto-no-kuni; Ise: Names of feudal prefectures during the SDK storyline. This first chapter takes place in a fictional town in the Ise prefecture, which today is known as Mie. Yamoto is the 17th century name of the present-day Nara prefecture.
daimyo I translate this as "feudal lord," though I know some comparative history student's going to yell at me for that...
yojimbo: bodyguard
ronin: masterless samurai. And if you don't know what "samurai" means, shame on you!
baka: idiot, stupid head, etc.
daifuku dumplings made from rice flour with a sweet red bean stuffing. Consumed on special occasions (i.e. New Years, Obon) because they are considered good luck food. And they're really yummy, too!
sake:...again, if you don't know this one, shame on you!
choko: those small saucer-like thingies you see people drinking sake from. (--) What, I'm not Webster's!
yukata: a light cotton kimono used for sleeping; also refers to standard summer wear. Of course, one does not wear one's sleeping yukata in public.
Terms from Prelude:
tachikazelit. "sword-wind;" term for the wind induced by a passing blade
Jigoku: Japanese name for Hell, Hades, the Underworld, etc.
jubanundershirt for kimono
koshimaki wrap-around underskirt
Primary sources: Shinto: Origins, Rituals, Festivals, Spirits, Sacred Places by C. Scott Littleton.
Legends of the Samurai by Hiroaki Sato
Cultures and Customs of Japan by Noriko
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To My Reviewers: Thank you for your overwhemingly positive response to the prolouge! I am so glad that all of you are enjoying the story thus far...
starofhades: Thank you for your generous assessment of my angst/drama abilities. I do try very hard to keep everyone in character, and I appreciate that you took the time to highlight that. And yes, cookies are good!
marnika: Yep, the anime series really did leave us grasping for closure didn't it? Blah! Thanks for saying you'll stick with me!
vegita-dias:I'm not worthy! (grovels) That the writer of "Midori no Me" would review sessha - oh happiness! Erm, yeah, anywho...the reason I have an "R" rating on this is that it is going to get dark, very quickly, so look forward to that. Also, please contiue your wonderful work on "Midori no Me"! (P.S. - The "Confutatis" is my favorite part of Mozart's Requiem)
LadyWater2010: Thank you! Unfotunately, the best indication of a breakdown on my part is a significant lag of time between updates...
Placid Snowflake: Well, tell your okaa-san that the Narrator says it was Kyo and will defend that position to the death! (poses like Sailor Moon)
Mimi-san: Yay, Narrator has a fan! But now you've made me nervous - what's your definiton of a "horrible story"?
elyssalyn: Yes, I can only pray that they stay with me, too... (sniffle!)
kitsune55: Kyoshiro had to die because, well...I think it was Migeira who said that the world could not contain the two of them, because they were such extreme opposites. (shrugs) It's been a while since I've watched the series so I'm not sure.
Genjy0-Sanz0: Oh, but I only wrote "I've Never" to get the funnies out of my system before writing this! Hidoi! (starts bawling) I'm okay, really... I'm glad this fic has redeemed me in your eyes.
wow: As stated above, yes, I hate writing serious stuff 'cuz it's icky. But it needs to be done.
Arin Ross: Kyo definitely struck me as one of those people who think liars are weak or worse, cowrads, so yeah, I definitely had to put that in my story. Glad you liked it!
Lady of Genisis: Oi, daijoubu desu ka! (waves handkerchief in Lady's face) Hang on, milady, I've updated!
luna-magic-2005: Yay, another fan! (happy hamster dance) And YES, bad ending, bad! No closure! GRrrrrrrrr!
animegrl1047: Glad you liked my "I've Never..." ficcy! And no, I can't tell you what Akira said, 'cuz he'd kill me too...
nekozuki1776: I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy!(grovels...again) Thank you for the remarks on my use of Japanese cultural references. I've actually done some research so I could incorporate those elements, and it is gratifying for someone to notice.
Salute!
