Dear LXR,
I've read Lavender's letter. I have a problem with that…
Draco Malfoy

Dear Lavender Brown,
Draco has a problem with your plan
LXR

Dear LXR,
Sorry. Already in progress…
Lavender Brown

Dear LXR,
Hey! Do you know of a counter spell for love potions?
Draco Malfoy

Dear DM,
Ask Krum
LXR

Dear LXR,
Do you think I can join the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?
Remus Lupin

Dear RL,
Why?
LXR

Dear LXR,
Because I'm a werewolf…
Remus Lupin

Dear RL,
No. You should join Van Helsing. He needs a Werewolf to destroy Dracula…
LXR

Dear LXR,
We've got Ginny
Fred and George

Dear F and G,
Good! Don't write it here! Harry will read!
LXR

Dear LXR,
Well that's the good thing with magic. You can block a letter from certain people.
Fred and George

Dear LXR,
I'm going to find Ginny!
Harry Potter

Dear LXR,
That's is so mean to Harry! Don't kidnap Ginny!
I Love Underage Vulgar Harry And Impressive Ronald. Yay!

Dear I.L.U.V.H.A.I.R.Y.,
I thought I got rid of you…
LXR

Dear LXR,
I'm in love with Draco Malfoy for some reason. Where can I find him?
Sincerely,
Hermione Granger

Dear HG,
Diagon Alley at the Weasley's shop.
LXR

Dear LXR,
Hermione loves Malfoy! How dare she!
Ronald Weasley

Dear RW,
Yep.
LXR

Dear LXR,
I think it's all working out!
Lavender Brown

Dear LXR,
Harry's gonna get into trouble!
Draco Malfoy

Dear Lavender Brown and Draco Malfoy,
I love it when evil tricks start to take effect. It makes people so confused. Now we shall all dance a demented Irish jig on the table and sing drunken sailor songs in celebration of our rising evil achievements! Oy! Where did that drunken pirate go off to…
Jack Sparrow!
LXR

Dear LXR,
That's Captain Jack Sparrow to you! I thought I belongeded to the POTC help line. Hey! me new movie is a-comin' out!
Capt. Jack Sparrow