That Face in the Mask

Chapter Thirteen: No Going Back Now


A/N : Enjoy

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Disclaimer: I get to see POTO next week at the Majestique Theater in N.Y.C. with my French Cluub! (squeal)so, I'm happy enough with not owning it!


Cedric straightened his tie nervously. Today was the day. He was finally going to ask Meg to court him. After all, it had been a little over a week since she had run off to wherever she'd gone. But, she had come right back the following morning, safe from harm and relieving them all of their worries. She had told him later that she was just completely exasperated with her mother and had had such a horrible day at work; she had just spent the night drinking at a nearby tavern. He was relieved she hadn't been harmed, but her mother was furious she'd spent the night drinking spirits, especially when she was forbidden to go near them and because reputable ladies didn't dare drink in public. Other than the sharp scolding she'd received, Meg was fine. He figured that by now the whole incident had probably blown over and was forgotten. So, there was no reason to put off asking her any longer. He couldn't keep his affections hidden much longer, anyway.

He forced himself to walk a bit slower as he neared the theater. Orchestra practice was cancelled today, and he wanted to spend the rest of his day with Meg. After he asked her to court him, of course. And if she says yes he reminded himself practically. She could always reject him, and he didn't want to start having romantic, impure fantasies about something that would never be.

He stopped for a moment to buy two pink roses from a young flower seller on the theater steps. One would be for Meg. The other he snapped the stem off of and placed the bud in his pocket, to look a bit more presentable. He had started worrying much more about his appearance, especially now that he had been transferred and he and Meg both worked at the Opus Majestique Theater. He saw her many times throughout the course of the day, practicing with the group and instructing small groups of training ballerinas, and she always managed to put him in a better mood.

He drew in a deep breath as he pushed open the enormous doors to the theater. He greeted a few of his colleagues as he rushed through the main lobby and ballroom, going into the main theater. There was a rehearsal for the dancers and chorus for the company's latest opera, Tosca and he spied Meg on the far left corner of the stage, leading a small group of girls in dance. He heard her instructions as he neared the stage.

"One and two and one and two and turn. Neatly now! Now face front. Down up, down up. Now slightly lean, not so much Bridgette, you'll fall foreword. Marie, a little less, there, that's better. spin, faster girls, come now, I-"

"Meg?" he broke in. She stopped and looked down at him. She wore the normal attire of a company novice ballet mistress, a drab gray dress with a high collar lightly trimmed with a small gather of lace, gray stockings and dancing shoes and gloves. Her beautiful, wild blond hair was strictly wound in a braided plait at the nape of her neck, and there was a small, gray cameo brooch pinned at her collar. He smiled, recalling that that was the brooch he'd given her for her sixteenth birthday last year.

"Cedric? What is it you want? I though orchestra practice was cancelled today" she said in her soft, melodic voice

He snapped out of his trancelike state, and realized as the young ballerinas started giggling that he'd been starring rudely at Meg.

"I need to speak with you for a moment" he said quietly

She turned to her class and declared in a more formal voice "Girls, listen please. I need to speak with a fellow employee for a moment. Practice the first round of movements for the chorus and I will check your progress in a moment"

When they had all turned and left, Meg quickly jumped down from the stage, revealing a small glimpse of her gorgeous stockinged leg

"What is it, Cedric? Is anything wrong? Is it maman?" she asked anxiously

"No, no, nothing like that Meg" he said, relieving her worries. She sighed gratefully

'Oh thank goodness. Well, what is it, Cedric? I have to get back to my group"

'Meg, could we speak privately for a moment? Maybe over in the seats?"

"Of course"

He led her over to a secluded little cluster of seats underneath the private boxes where no one could overhear their conversation.

"What is it Cedric?" she asked curiously, tucking a stray wisp of hair behind her ear.

"Meg, uh-" He wasn't quite sure how to proceed with this, but he had to do it "-well, you know we've known each other for quite a while now, haven't we?"

"Yes, we have" she said uncertainly, not quite sure what he was asking her

"Well, we've always been good, close friends, and we've always held...affections for each other. Well, it can't have escaped your notice that sometime recently, I've started holding much more deeper affections for you. Much more than friendly affections"

She was silent, not quite believing what he was telling her

He quickly exhaled and let it all out in a rush "Meg, I really want to spend more time with you. Much more time than we spend together already, and we can't hide the fact that we have feelings for each other. You must know by now how I feel about you, after what happened in the meadow and when you were sick and when you ran off and, I came here today to ask you, well, to ask you if you would agree to allow me to court you?"

Meg felt her entire body go numb. Her mind couldn't quite absorb what he was saying. This couldn't be happening. This was Cedric. Cedric! Her oldest friend and playmate, not her suitor! But, she did have feelings for him too she had squelched. But that was before she had realized she loved Erik.

Oh god, Erik! She couldn't possibly love Cedric. Not when she had all those amazing emotions for Erik. But Cedric was offering her the chance at his heart. He had been dreaming of this for god knew how long! She couldn't let him down, could she?

This flood of overwhelming emotions overcame her all at once. She felt so guilty, and pleased, and shocked and, she didn't even know what else! It wasn't until it was too late when she realized it was her own shockingly surprised voice that had uttered

"Yes"

And before she realized what she'd done, Cedric's face lit up with joy and she felt her heart drop into her stomach. How could she have said that? She didn't truly mean it. Did she?

Apparently she did. Cedric dropped to his knees and elegantly presented her with a pink rose

"For you, Meg."

She accepted it, almost in a daze "Thank you Cedric. That was very...kind of you"

"No, thank you, Meg. I'm so glad you feel the same way about me too. I was afraid for a moment I was making a complete fool of myself in front of you."

She smiled "No, you weren't"

He stood up and glanced down at her, a little uncertain" You-you do know what this means don't you?"

She stood up, looking at him curiously "Yes. We're courting. What else could it mean?"

He chuckled a bit awkwardly "I mean, beyond that. What comes after courting...you know?"

She drew in a sharp breath suddenly. He was talking about marriage, making a new life together.

She smiled faintly "Cedric, it's been a very long day, and this is all so sudden and unexpected for me. I think we had better both just go home, okay?"

"Okay, Meg. That's a fine idea. Would you like me to walk you home?" he asked, offering her his arm

She waved him off gently "No, thank you Cedric. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded "I'm fine, Cedric. You should be going. We'll both see each other again tomorrow at rehearsal"

"All right. I'll see you later than, Meg" He awkwardly lifted her hand from her side and kissed it, sharply and quickly before leaving.

She sighed, making her way back up to the stage where her group was dancing

"All right, girls, that's good enough for today. We'll continue rehearsing tomorrow. You're dismissed"

She waited until all the twittering, giddy girls had left the theater before she sank into one of the plush, red velvet seats to collect her things, fighting back tears from spilling out of her eyes. She hoisted her heavy dancing bag unto her shoulder and gathered up all the papers she needed from her group before heading home.

On the walk back, she was so deeply muddled in thought, she didn't notice nor remember bumping into two passerby's on the street or not responding to any greetings people called to her as she passed the church and restaurant and dress shop. She stared guiltily at the beautiful pink rose he had given her. She couldn't believe she had actually agreed to court Cedric, of all people. Of course, he was a good friend, but she had never thought of anything romantic occurring between them! Why had she even said yes?

Well, she knew the answer to that. Sort of. Because she couldn't bear to disappoint him. She didn't want to. She had always held a secret desire to have a romantic, childhood sweetheart-turned-suitor. Just as her best friend had found when Meg had envied her so. This was her chance to have what she wanted. What she deserved. Now, she could be like those elegant, happy girls she'd watched and secretly envied all her life, strolling at dusk with their handsome suitors, flirting shamelessly and acting so helpless and weak. But, was that who she wanted to be? Or was it what everyone else expected her to be?

And then there was Erik. Just thinking of him made her shiver, but she wasn't sure if it was with fear or desire. How could she have betrayed him like that? After all he'd done for her and given her. He loved her. But now, she started to doubt if she truly loved him. If she was really loyal and loved him as deeply as she believed she did, she would never have even thought of agreeing to Cedric's offer, she would have instantly denied him. Did that make her an awful, horrid person now? To lead two men onto her at the same time? After all, she wasn't officially courting Erik. No one besides her really knew he existed. To the average eye, she was unspoken for and ready for courting. But, Erik loved her so much, it didn't matter he wasn't officially courting her. Did he need to officially be her suitor when he was a hidden phantom for heaven's sakes?

There was only one thing she knew for certain: There was absolutely no going back now. She had gotten herself into this horrible heartbreaking, emotional mess and she would have to get herself out. She would have to come clean, and reveal her secrets to both of the men she thought she loved. She'd tell Erik about courting Cedric, and Cedric about her secret nighttime visits to Erik. She couldn't believe she had let herself actually seem to fall in love with two men. But, she had, and they had to know about it before she burst.

She dreaded and yet, impatiently awaited tonight when she'd tell Erik, and tomorrow morning when she'd tell Cedric. She only hoped she wouldn't be breaking her heart and theirs in the process. The only question that now remained in her mind was:

Is it possible I've fallen in love with them both?


Okay, please DO NOT flame me for this chap, but I wanted to throw in some doubt in Meg's mind, and show her conflicting emotions, so please leave a review and tell me what you think.

And, I aplogize for not responding to the three people who reviewed last chap, but something was really messed up with my computer, and it kept telling me I wasn't the author of this story and therefore couldn't respond to readers' reviews, so sorry for not responding, but my computer's all better now and is letting me respond again! Thought you might like to know.