The End of Winter
Darkness fell early and the snow arrived with it, yet when the camp was secure, and after they had eaten, the king and his son walked out into the trees alone.
It was Legolas who had asked for the excursion.
"Surely now it is safe enough for us to walk abroad together," he had said, "perhaps not to travel together on the road but here amongst the trees there can be no danger great enough to prohibit it?"
Thranduil had been glad of it for it had been many centuries since both he and Legolas could be in the same place outside the palace without being heavily guarded. To take a little time alone with his son beneath the trees was one of the things he had longed for in the darkest days and if this snowy winters night offered such a chance he was more than pleased to take it. Though he suspected that Legolas had something particular he wanted to discuss, an intuition that caused him some trepidation.
But if that was the case it seemed Legolas was content to wait to broach it, which was some reassurance, instead continuing their conversation started beside the fire.
"Easterlings? Not a welcome development I can see; innocent as these were. If the further east is again restless then their trouble may yet travel west. Can it be connected with Sauron for did not the Elrond say that he fled east when they dislodged him?"
"He did, and the new unrest may be related to that, though I doubt that Sauron is yet strong enough to be the only source of it. Many of the men of the further east and north were his creatures in the days of the last alliance, as were many in further south, and he made them great promises, none of which came to pass. The south lands are now desolate and Mordar is destroyed but the sons of men whose forefathers fought on the evil's side still hold on to the legends of those promises and believe that one day they will come to pass. They blame each other for the failure to prosper as they believe is their right and their wars are bitter and brutal. As they fight amongst themselves so too does their hatred of others grow and all the more do they covet the lands and treasures of those who live away from the further east. As lords are killed in their petty battles so their dispossessed men will seek new lands to occupy. We must be prepared for that and be ready to despatch them should they seek to invade. But I suspect that no real threat will come unless Sauron gains strength and again gives them hope that the ancient promises can be fulfilled."
"As you believe that he will."
"Yes. But not quite yet and there is time to prepare. I have sent letters to both the men of the lake and Dale to put them on their guard. Bard will in turn warn Dain who will have no difficulty in understanding the threat."
The mention of the king under the mountain seemed to pull Legolas's mind back to what he had wanted to say and he sat down upon a tree stump with a faint smile, ignoring the snow now fast settling on their clothes and hair
"May we speak of things past again?" he asked quietly.
Thranduil settled himself upon a stump beside him and nodded.
"If you wish it so. Is there some specific event you desire to speak of?"
"Both yes and no."
Legolas paused for a moment to gather his thoughts and turned his eyes away from his father, staring into the trees through the haze of snow, as he began to speak.
"Whilst on the road I overheard a conversation that at the time I wished I had not heard."
"And now?"
"Now, having spent much thought on it, I think it providential for it has caused me to look again at things that happened and to see them in a new light."
His father looked at him with some concern.
"Does this light change your view of matters past?"
Legolas smiled faintly.
"Be easy, for though the insights are uncomfortable they have not overset me .I do not enjoy the picture that was painted by those chance heard words, and I confess that at first they filled me with despair, yet I have come to see that if I am to regain the trust that once was mine then I must face all my transgressions."
Thranduil shot him startled glance.
"All? What new ones do you imagine?"
"Not imagine for they were real enough and some of them you may have known nothing of, though they may have shaped events in ways I had not considered."
He looked around him.
"It was here that Thorin's company first entered Mirkwood and so I have always thought that the chain of events that led me to Dale started here, but now I wonder if that were true and if the roots of those events did not stretch far further back."
He fell silent for a moment looking into the trees then he drew a deep breath and turned back towards his father.
"I ask you to be honest with me again and not spare me for I must know what I have to repair."
His father gave him an uncertain look his head tilted in the characteristic manner that indicated he was considering options; then he drew a deep breath, settled his robe more neatly about him and nodded.
"Very well. What would you have me tell you?"
Now the opening was there Legolas did not really know how to continue, but after a moment of uncertainty he asked.
"I am not sure I know how to phrase the question so forgive me if the words seem vague, but had I changed at all in the time before the dwarves came? Was there anything about my conduct that you noticed and that you felt to be strange or that gave cause for unease?"
The king felt his heart sink, for he thought he knew where this train of questions would lead them, but he strove to keep his voice dispassionate as he replied.
"Changed? In what manner do you mean?"
Legolas was suddenly sure that his father knew what he meant but was unwilling to continue. However having started he felt he must go on,
"Well…., on looking back I was unnecessarily disparaging to members of Thorin's company when we took them captive, and in a manner that cannot be defended for the taunts were personal and in no way related to them being trespassers in our lands. Yet I was not aware of my conduct at the time. Also…" he hesitated, for this next question was harder to ask than any since he returned home, "had I become critical of your actions as either my father or my king, in some manner other than in the openness we have always shared and that you have encouraged?"
Thranduil looked at him for a moment then sighed.
"Is this what you overheard, that others had noticed such things?"~
Legolas shook his head.
"Not directly but the comments suggested that I had changed in some way, that I was unlike myself, that I had become,,,,, less kind, more aggressive and intolerant of others and their actions. That which I overheard implied that I had been so for some time, that the insults I offered Thorin's company were not a momentary aberration brought about by the fight with the spiders or by their trespass on our lands but part if a wider change in my conduct that extended even to those who knew me well. That which was said claimed that I was impatient and thoughtless even towards those who had called me friend. Is it true? Had you noticed such changes?"
He saw a look of pain cross his fathers face, a ripple of expression that disappeared so quickly he might have imagined it, yet he did not think he did. His father turned his eyes away towards the shadows as the silence stretched. A rising wind made the tree branches moan and toss as Legolas continued to stare at his parent with a growing concern for surely this silence was the response, and the one he had feared.
Finally his father spoke, his words slow and measured but with a faint hint of emotion in which Legolas thought he heard hurt.
"It is true that in the season or two before the coming of Thorin you had become more distant, colder and less content. The light and warmth that had been yours since your earliest days seemed to fade and with it your joy in life, and it is true perhaps that you became more impatient and harsh as a result. I thought you unhappy but could do nothing to remedy the matter though I believed that I knew its cause and grieved for it."
Legolas made no attempt to hide from the implication of his father's words.
"Tauriel."
"Yes, Tauriel, or rather your growing fondness for her. It should have brought you both joy but it did not seem to do so, and it did not take me long to see the reason. That, though she cared for you as a comrade and a brother, she did not reciprocate your fondness in the manner that you wished."
Legolas smiled sadly.
"Was it so clear to you then?"
Thranduil nodded.
"You are my son and I love you, of course I saw what you were feeling. As for her, well as I have said before a king must learn to read the hearts of people and I had known her for most of her life"
"Known her and cared for her. You had been as a father to her so I would not be surprised if she had confided in you."
There was both sadness and weariness in his voice causing his father to reach a hand towards him in reassurance.
"But she did not! Legolas I assure that she never spoke of it to me, but I could not help but see your care for her."
"Yet you were sure that she could not care for me as I wished, how were you so certain if you did not speak of it?"
Thranduil hesitated for a moment unsure of much of his knowledge of the matter he should disclose, but seeing the sadness in his son's face he decided it was best that the doubts and false hopes at least should be finally laid to rest. He sighed and drew his cloak more firmly about his shoulders for the snow was falling heavily now.
"She volunteered nothing and I did not broach the matter with her for some time though I continued to watch you both closely in the hope that I would see some change in either your feeling for her or in her affection for you. But what I observed brought me no comfort for I could see no sign that she felt for you as I was sure you were staring to feel for her. Then an opportunity arose and on impulse I took it. Perhaps I should not have done so, perhaps it was presumptuous of me, but I needed to be sure, and if there was a chance that she might reciprocate your affection but felt forced to hide it for some reason then I wished to know, to reassure her. So when this chance occurred I told her that I had noticed your growing fondness for her."
Legolas fixed his eyes on his father's face with a painful intensity.
"What was her response?" he asked softly.
Seeing the look, in which hope, though faint, still lingered Thranduil decided that the full truth of that exchange was better not shared even now. How could he tell him the truth knowing what had followed
from it?
He recalled the moment so very well. Why had it taken the coming of the dwarves for him to realise the extent of the possible hurt to his son? He had known for sometime of his growing preference for her, and he had suspected her indifference for nearly as long. Yet he had not wanted to believe it, wishing instead to think himself mistaken. Only her behaviour on the day the dwarves were taken had finally shattered that hope and made it impossible to hope for a happy outcome. Her reaction had been swift and unequivocal and had left no room for doubt. He recalled only too well the abrupt death of the soft smile that had lit her face in response to his praise just a moment before, there had been no missing her sudden stiffening, the look of shock that was so close to horror, her immediate and hurried rejection of the idea of it and, when he had been unable to hide his disappointment and annoyance, her final attempt to lay the responsibility for her rejection of his son at his door. No, he would not burden Legolas with those details, but perhaps a paler version of them would do.
He shrugged slightly.
"She seemed truly surprised, and said that she was sure you thought of her as no more than a captain in the guard, a comrade and sister in arms only. I did not doubt that the idea of any other relationship was completely novel to her and that her feeling for you, deep thought they were, were not the same as those you were developing for her. I knew then that had she been your destiny she would have known your care for her and felt some similar tenderness. I confess that I was disappointed that she seemed so surprised and perhaps I did not hide it well, but you are my son and I hated knowing that you would be hurt, however innocent the cause might be. Then the dwarf came and of the rest you know as much of as I do."
Legolas turned his eyes back to the snow coated forest.
"How was I so wrong?" He asked quietly. "Elves do not make such mistakes, the sons of men might but we are not made that way. What then is lacking in me that I could want so badly one who was not destined for me?"
Thranduil had wondered on the meaning of that mistake everyday since he had first seen her indifference and feared he knew what it might mean, but that was not a conversation for this moment.
"I doubt that it has never happened before," he said softly, "but in this case the circumstances of the occurrence were unusual, had it not been for the dwarf and the mountain and the battle I suspect that you would have come to see the true nature of her feelings and that when you did so your wish for her would have come to a natural end. Then, in time, you would have found your one and have forgotten the matter in the joy of your true bond and your children. As you may yet do."
Legolas sighed.
"And if I do not?"
Thranduil shook his head.
"Not all do, as you well know, and it is true that Eru may have marked a different path for you, we none of us know where the seasons will take us. But be patient, we are not like mortal men and time is not our enemy. Who knows how many ages you may need to wait but if it is in your destiny it will come. In the waiting there will be the love of kin and friends and comrades and all that lives within the world to sustain you"
"As it sustains you?"
"Yes, as it sustains me. There is much to love in the world, even as evil hangs over it."
"And yet…"
"You wonder what it would have been had the dwarf not come." The king's tone was flat but there was sadness in his eyes. "As I wonder if it would have been better never to have sheltered her. Or if I had found some other place for her other than within my own house."
Legolas shook his head sending a small cascade of snow tumbling to the floor.
"Do not think that! I would not have you regret your compassion on my account, nor your care of her because of my foolishness."
Thranduil looked at him for a long moment then smiled slightly and spoke softly.
"Perhaps not, but what of my own account? You speak of my compassion and care and it is true, I think, that I was as family to her, as well as her protector, and yet she drew an arrow on me and told me that my life was of no more worth to her than a dwarf she barely knew. She was willing to commit kinslaying, though it is the greatest sin an elf can stoop to, and against me, I have known that evil, suffered and lost to it before, and hoped never to see it again. Yet the threat was clear enough, she truly wished me dead for denying her demand and was willing that it should be by her hand, how would you have me forget that?"
He regretted the bitter words even as they poured out of him, wished them unsaid even before he saw the look of shock settle upon his son's face. Yet he could not deny that he felt a small shiver of relief at that look of horror too, had he doubted Legolas innocence after all? He had not thought so but perhaps some small part of him had. Perhaps that selfish child had done more damage to them both than he would own.
A shadow seemed to move across the world as the memory surged up from the dark place he normally imprisoned it. Could he ever forget the hurt or was it a wound that would lie open and raw for ever?
He had forgiven Legolas even as the sword and the knife of words was wielded but the pain remained seared into his memory. On bad nights it would replay as a constant dream, first her then him, the hurt and grief closing around his heart like a band of enchanted steel, imprisoning his spirit in a veil of cold and darkness. On these nights he would force sleep away and work until dawn pulled him back into the duties of kingship, but on the worst of nights he would wander the Halls alone, remembering the echoes of a past before his son became cold and distant, burning his love and joy of life to grey ash in the service of a worthless mirage. Not even the recollection of seeing his father fall had carried the same bitterness as the moment he had stood in the snow and realised that one he had succoured all her life had had judged him worthless beside one she could not measure at all. But worse still was the dagger of ice that forced its way into his heart as he absorbed the knowledge that his son had stood by and let her do it without comment; that he had only intervened when he thought it necessary to save her.
Now, as on all the occasions he let himself remember, he felt again the desolation that had engulfed him, the sense of loss that was an agony as harsh and physical as a sword thrust. More than that he recalled the sense of cold invading him, of life departing, for his son would have allowed his death at her hand without protest. At that moment he could see no way back for his son at all.
He had stood unmoving in the falling snow, the feeling of hopeless desperation holding him prisoner making it hard even to breath. The world had seemed a black abyss trapping him, echoing with the thought that screamed in his head, the unformed words wiping out all other sound, the realisation that in a moment he had lost his son for ever; that Legolas could never again return home. Her treason and his support of it had been seen and however loyal the watchers might be it could not be kept secret for very long, if Legolas tried to return to Mirkwood he would have to face the law givers and he would be found guilty. For his king that would leave only one choice, to banish him forever. That his king was his father would make no difference; could make no difference, for it was the law and not to do so would break his oath of kingship and tear the Realm apart.
But where would Legolas go? Thranduil closed his eyes against the memory of that thought. Kinslaying and Patricide! Standing there in the hard grey light there had been no hiding from the terror of the realisation of what had been done, that no elven community would take in one guilty of such crimes, whatever the circumstances. Nor were the dwarves or the sons of men any more likely to give him shelter, treason would not be overlooked anywhere, his son was condemned to a life of lonely wandering, and it probably would not be a long life. He could not even be sure that it would be possible for Legolas to sail west, for none would sail with him if they knew the circumstances of his leaving.
For a moment he had stared blindly at the ground wondering if he should put aside the crown to avoid sitting in judgement upon his son if he returned, or if his own death would be the better course. In the turmoil of a king's death his son might escape with the story untold and so find a home amongst other elves in the west or south. Those who had seen might even stay silent so that Legolas could fill the void his death would leave and take up the crown. The battle was not yet over and there were options remaining not to survive it if he chose to take them. He did not fear that, it was the loss of Legolas in such a manner that he did not think that he could face. But what if his guard did not stay silent; or if others had seen? In that case Legolas would still be forced to flee and his people would be left leaderless at a time when they would need to be united.
Then a thought yet more terrible came to him, what would Legolas do if he realised this upon Ravenhill, what reason would he have to wish to survive the battle?
It had been Feren who had pierced his nightmare. He had heard a voice calling to him and had raised his eyes to meet those of his equerry.
"My Lord, what would you have me do when the company is re-assembled? Do we remain within the City or move back onto the plain to meet the new force or retreat towards the river to regroup? With luck my Lord Legolas will be able to breech their command and without that we may have some chance to scatter them."
He had marshalled his frozen wits seeing the plea in the other elf's eyes and knowing that the battle was not yet over and there were matters only he could deal with.
"Yes", his voice had seemed to come from a distance. "Yes, such numbers as are likely cannot be fought within the confines of the city and they are better met where there is room to manoeuvre."
"My Lord, shall we muster on the bridge then?"
"Yes. But at the far side, we must not get trapped against the City walls. The people of the city must be removed too, Bard must be warned of what approaches."Still he seemed to be hearing his words from some chamber distant from him.
Feren had nodded and turned as if to leave, but turned back suddenly and stared at his king for a moment before coming closer to him speaking low and swiftly.
"My Lord, forgive me if I speak out of turn and touch upon matters of private pain but understand that your son's affection for her is well known and this is not the first time it has led him astray. It is clear that he did not believe her threat to be real. None believe that he would have stood by, or defended her, had he done so."
He had stared in silence for a moment unable to speak and the elf lord had nodded across the alley to a point where the walls were breached.
"He came through there, it's probably the route she took too, he may have been following her or he may have been looking for you, there is no way to know. He will have heard her earlier words but he appeared very close upon your disarming her."
Feren must have seen the doubt and pain in his face, for he had been too shattered to hide it at that time, and the elf lord had reached out and placed a hand upon his arm, something he had never done before or since. There was a sad look in his eyes but his expression was calm and certain as he continued.
"You must believe that he thought her no threat, as I confess nor did I or any that stood behind you, for she is so far from being your equal. Your son is no traitor my lord and he loves you both as his father and his king."
Thranduil remembered his overwhelming desire to believe what he was being told, but also the worry that it might not be true. Only later, after their meeting on Ravenhill, had he allowed himself to fully believe that it was true. He had never asked Legolas what he saw that day nor would he ever do so, though there had been times since his son's return that he had wished to. For his own hurt. though deeply buried, was real and continuing and at times the need to seek re-assurance was almost too great to be borne. He had managed to avoid the temptation however, until now, for that might lead into conversations that he was not yet ready to embark upon.
But perhaps some vestige of doubt had remained; a sliver of fear that only now shrivelled and died at the sight of the dawning understanding in his son's eyes.
"No, oh no," Legolas said softly, "Did you truly believe that to be the case, do you still think it so? Tell me that is not what you saw. If it was then how do you judge my actions? Do you think that I stood by and let her threaten your life without protest? For if it is then how then can I ever make it right between us? Bad enough that I judged swiftly and harshly and thought you threatened her, do not say that I gave you cause to think I would have excused a true threat to your life too. "
He stared at his silent parent and the look in his father's eyes tore at his heart. For the moment it was truly unguarded and what he saw there ripped away the last vestiges of denial.
"Yet it must have appeared as if I did just that, why did I not see it before? But truly it was not so, when I heard her angry words I was taken aback but when I saw her standing before you with bow drawn I saw only desperation and grief in her and you acted so swiftly that I did not consider her threat to you as a real one. But perhaps I could not let myself see the truth. I wanted to believe her to be noble, her love real and true, that way I felt that I could bear the loss. In my days of wandering I have held to that even as I came to recognise the enormity of her crime and mine. It is only in these last days while we have been on the road and I have returned to old pastimes and duties that I have come to see things differently. Only recently have I come to understand that there was no nobility in her or her actions, only a selfish desire to pursue a vision of glory or something else she thought she wanted."
He reached out and laid his hand upon his fathers fingers, gripping them with all his strength as if the force of his hold would prove the truth of his words.
"But truly I did not believe at that time that she intended your death, no more do I believe it now. My view of that has not changed. But that is of no matter. Tell me with the truth you have promised did you then or now believe that I would have condoned her killing of you?"
Thranduil started into the blue eyes of his son and regretted his earlier words, cursed himself for letting his hurt get the better of his restraint. For Legolas was looking at him with something close to desperation and he knew that the future would turn upon this moment and what he replied. He looked deep into himself and knew which pain was the greater, the hurt of that moment in Dale or the pain that would come from Legolas's grief if he responded with the bald truth, and he knew which one was the more bearable.
He turned his hand and returned the pressure of the fingers upon his.
"No, I did not think that, not then and not now. But I was shocked and horrified that you thought it necessary to make your defence of her in such a manner. I would never have harmed her, no more would I harm you. I hope that you now see that and I can only regret that you did not know it at the time."
Legolas shook his head but his great relief was clear.
"I had no reason to think it; indeed I do not see that I was thinking at all! All I saw was her pain and I did not stop to reflect upon its cause. Had I been faced with the choice you faced when in command then my decision would have been no different. To risk more lives in such a futile manner is not the action of a good commander, and as you have said to me before had she been so concerned for the safety of the dwarves she could have been half way to Ravenhill by the time she had sought you out. Only one is needed to deliver a warning after all."
The king smiled.
"True, but that point escaped Mithrandir too so I would not judge your error over harshly."
Legolas shook his head.
"Ah but strategy has never been a wizards strong point."
"Certainly not that wizard." Thranduil replied dryly and with a dismissive wave of his free hand.
Legolas laughed but the humour was gone in an instant and he scanned his father face for a moment in silence.
"It is the truth then, " he said eventually, "that you did not believe me willing to tolerate a threat to your life?"
"It is as I have said, and, if knowing it gives you comfort, no more did any of those who also saw it. Angry though my guard were at your defence of her none thought you had colluded at the threat upon my life. Had they done so then you could never have been welcomed home. Why would I who have known you and loved you since your begetting think differently?"
Legolas bowed his head.
"But some will not forgive me for the grief I caused you and nor should they. I can see it, and something close to contempt, in Feren's eyes when he looks at me and Lady Ethryns too. Nor do I think that Galion has forgiven me, for he always seeks to place the choicest food and the best wines as far from my place as he can. But then you warned me it might be so and I will work to overcome it. The only thing I could not bear would be to think that I had let you to believe I would have let her kill you."
"As I don't we need not speak more of it, and I do not doubt you will endure their distrust until such time as you prove yourself to them again. That process will begin tomorrow when we seek out the first of the final run of spider's nests and you will find yourself scouting beside them. These nests have been empty longer than any others but that does not make the survey any less dangerous for we still do not know where they have gone to. So I suggest we return to the camp and the fire and leave this cold behind us, unless there is more than you would ask me?"
"No," Legolas said softly. "I have revisited as many ghosts and hurts as either of us can stand on so wintry a night." He looked back to the snow laden trees, "at such a time it can hard to believe in spring and yet it is waiting and no deed of good or evil will halt it."
Thranduil rose and pulled Legolas to his feet.
"Spring will come and banish winter, as in its turn summer will banish spring. The life of the world will survive our grief and heartaches and if we let it be our teacher then so will we survive them. For the moment the forest recovers enjoy that and let the past and the future rest for a while. Bask in the light and let it strengthen you against the days when the darkness returns."
He drew his son's arm though his own and began to lead the way to the campfire.
"ButI advise you to be careful to check your horses girth tomorrow, Feren had not forgiven you it is true and he has a more impish streak than you might imagine."
XXX
The last run of spider nests stretched from the entrance to the forest road up to the western side of the forest river. It was into one of these nests that Thorin and his companions had fallen that autumn of seven years ago and they had been lucky to survive it for the adult spiders here had been many and they were always in search of prey.
This time the two parties shared the survey between them and, as his father had predicted, Legolas found himself entering the decaying nests beside elves that were less than wholeheartedly pleased at his return. Yet he didn't doubt that should danger rear its head they would guard his back as he would guard theirs, and not only because his father had clearly signalled his expectations by leading the party into the first nest with his son at his shoulder. Legolas had been glad of the gesture letting it sooth away the last vestiges of the fear that his father had not been quite honest about his feelings regarding his son's defence of Tauriel. He had both seen and felt his parents pain so deep and sharp had it been but as he strode beside his sire into the nest and later as they sat in quiet companionship beside the fire he persuaded himself that the darkness and his own guilt had misled him.
So the last days of the tour passed. The nests were as empty as those in the mountains, there were no tracks of Orc or Warg, no lairs of wild wolf and as he looked around him it seemed that the light within the trees was strengthening as the once twisted branches straightened. As they rode away from the last nest and took the road down towards the river he thought of the abandoned villages and houses they had passed, each checked as thoroughly as the nests and lairs, and smiled to himself for his father had agreed that this year the people might return to them if they wished. Come summer this part of the forest would echo with the wounds of elven life for the first time in centuries, families would return to homes long abandoned for the safety of the glades closer to his father halls. It might be just a temporary respite but for a while his people would be able to wander between their beloved trees and feast beneath the stars again. His father seemed certain the time would come when they would have need of the safety of stone again but for the moment the trees of the forest would be their shelter. While that could be it would be and during these days of light his father would strengthen his fortress against a future shadow so that when the time came none need be left unprotected.
As they drew closer to the bridge Legolas could hear the forest river rushing past the gates of home, the ice was thinning and melting allowing the sound of the torrent to mingle with the sounds of the wind and the rustling trees. The days were still cold and the nights bitter yet already the first signs of spring were emerging. He looked towards his father riding beside him, no doubt already planning his first glass of post inspection wine, for the supplies of that beverage had given out not long after the two parties joined, and plotting how to avoid council matters for at least another day. Tomorrow would be the new moon and the last feast of winter and by the next new moon spring would be taking command of the forest.
Spring! New life, new beginnings and the rebirth of all that had seemed dead throughout the winter. He caught his father's eye, and smiled. Behind the smile sadness surged for he could not entirely forget the look he caught upon his fathers face as they had sat and talked in the falling snow. Seeing him now, so relaxed and pleased at the prospect of home the fading imp of guilt summoned enough strength to shriek again that his father had lied to him to spare his guilt, he shook his head slightly and pushed it away, if his father wished to say otherwise then he would not compound his sins by doubting him or seeking more useless pain for them both. As the gates swing open he nodded to his father and said simply.
"I had forgotten how long these trips can be and how wearying a saddle can become when all you do is ride and climb and sleep. It's good to be home."
"Indeed it is." the king replied and urged his horse across the bridge.
Legolas followed still smiling. Whether it was the truth or not he would make his reparations as his father so clearly wished him to do, by living with joy.
End of winter – start of spring
