Kagome sat there unmoving on the floor. Her rear still stung from its hard plunge to the ground. She knew she was openly staring, but it really didn't matter because he seemed just as surprised as she was. His stony gold eyes had widened the smallest degree and even his mouth hung open a little. A lock of his long hair had flooded past his shoulder and swung in the small distance between them. Just seeing him standing there was almost as if he didn't really exist. He hadn't moved in the past minute or so, simply watching her.
Kagome's heart flooded with a growing hope. The swell in her mind was greater than she'd ever experienced. Then she pictured Sesshoumaru in a bone armor chest plate, pristine white robes of ancient times, and strange stripe markings on his cheeks. He sat atop a green dragon with two heads and two swords at his hip, one without a sheath. However, it was the sight of a red tattooed line appearing too close to eye liner that made her laugh. Kagome held her side with one arm while the other gripped the collar of her yukata. She desperately tried to stifle her mirth knowing that if Naraku caught her it wouldn't turn out well.
What if Sesshoumaru was an ally of Naraku's? This sobered her immediately. He might not even give a lick about her safety, it's not like he'd ever shown any care for others. Well, other than Rin and that time in the elevator…Kagome's mind continued to list off all the number of times Sesshoumaru was semi-kind to her. Though each time could be explained as just a coincidence or like the time he carried at the park could just be because she protected Rin from the thugs. If Sesshoumaru was an ally to Naraku, well he wouldn't be much help. He might even turn her back over!
-Wait, wait! Sesshoumaru isn't that type of person. Sure- he's…well I'm not going to get into what he is, but he isn't dishonorable who would stand for someone like Naraku. At least…I hope so.-
Sesshoumaru was in a trance. The shifting, flittering hues of blue, green, and grey across her large eyes had captivated him. It was as if every shade of color held an emotion clinging to it awaiting his understanding of her heart. There was a bright hope in white, greyish speckles contrasting greatly to the pupil they circled close to. However, he was quickly brought back at her stifled laughter. Her yukata was a pure white with a cream sash. Her feet were bare even though the house was a little chilly. Her long hair swarmed around her tiny frame that had suddenly stopped shaking of its joyful tremors. Her face was serious now and he could only wonder at the cause. Her hopeful gaze was now skeptical. Sesshoumaru didn't fidget under her stare, but he was slightly annoyed. This girl never changed.
"Are you just going to stare?"
This sentence brought back the memory of the last time he'd said those words. It was the night of the Christmas gala. He'd come to pick her up, most likely against his will. Kagome had seen him in the tuxedo and was practically breathless with shock. It wasn't like he didn't look perfect everyday, but the stark contrast of his pale hair and the ebony jacket along with the fitted style had been a lot to take in at once. Of course, their dancing flashed to her mind as well as her ridiculous reenactment this morning. Kagome closed her eyes briefly, reveling once more in the feel of his body that was still remained fresh and that alluring glint to his eyes that almost pissed her off at times. Kagome stood up then, brushing out the wrinkles in her attire, laughing nervously. However, that embarrassment wore off soon as his words fully sunk in.
"You…ass."
Sesshoumaru stood watching her. The woman was certainly on an emotional roller coaster today. It was more than usual. Still, he had to admit, Sesshoumaru liked her anger over all others. Her eyes always burned brighter as her fists clenched at her sides. Her chin stuck out obstinately and her mouth in a thinned line, just like now. He could feel her rant coming on and he didn't plan on allowing her to say it. It wasn't like he ever paid any heed to it, but the loudness of her voice always increased. They wouldn't want to draw Naraku's attention.
"Be silent unless you wish Naraku to locate you."
Kagome's eyes had smoldered at the first part of his sentence, but reasoning overrode her anger. Normally she would have lost it and damn it all she would have this time too, but another confrontation with Naraku wasn't something she looked forward to. He was stronger and his size was twice hers. Kagome had no clue if Sesshoumaru would help her, but she had no intention of depending on him. She knew her heart was causing a mutiny against her mind with all the emotions that were overwhelming her. Before with just Naraku, havoc was wreaked, but now disaster was on the horizon. It made her very tired, so tired.
-No point beating around the bush.-
"Why are you here? Are you an ally of Naraku?" Kagome asked softly.
Her voice was determined though and demanding a truthful answer. Almost instantly after the words left her mouth, Kagome wanted to revoke the statement. Sesshoumaru's eyes had narrowed and a dangerous gleam shined all the edge of the hardening golden hue. He approached her slowly and Kagome instinctually retreated. Kagome really had no where to go as her back hit the wall behind her too soon for her liking. Sesshoumaru pinned her by bracing his arms against the wall which encased Kagome on either side of her body. His voice was low and deeper than she'd ever had the experience of hearing.
"Naraku is a filthy bastard who will sink to any level to achieve his goals."
The underlying message was well received. Sesshoumaru was an upstanding citizen despite his cold exterior and guarded emotions. He made his own way in the world undaunted by the needs of anyone else. This always confused Kagome, especially after meeting his daughter. It didn't seem to fit. Why would he keep some girl who he couldn't love openly? The girl though completely understood, or seemed to, and they both got along as harmoniously as possible.
Kagome's heart swelled once again. His detachment meant more to her right now than anything else. She was desperate. The past was the past, but that didn't mean that the man still didn't frighten her to no end. He was capable of doing her so much harm, not only to her, but anyone who knew her as well. She lowered her head and shut her eyes tightly. Imagining Sango being injured or tortured as she was just because the woman was her friend made Kagome sick. Her knees felt weak and her head spun. She didn't want anyone hurt or in danger.
She was so tired of this. Her hands moved of their own accord. Her head felt like it was going to explode. Her chest was aching, as if her own heart were crying. Kagome reached out, seeking the strength to stand. She knew she was shaking, but no tears came this time. Her cheeks remained dry, but she needed to see so she continued. Kagome neared him slowly waiting for the moment when he would reject her, but it never came. Kagome gripped the fabric of the shirt covering over his bicep. Kagome felt the muscle tense under the contact. She upturned her face to regard him, she had to see, but she couldn't. Her chin hit her chest. Her mind wondered how Sesshoumaru could always be in control. Why couldn't she be more like him? Kagome wanted to be the type of person others could depend on, not worry about and fuss over.
Sesshoumaru regarded her cautiously. What he had said had struck a nerve deep within her. It was a shockwave that sent her back almost cringing against the wall. His tone was accusing and harsh, but she had connected him to Naraku which was unforgivable. Though somewhere in the back of his mind, there was a question raised of how would she know, he was here in the man's home after all. That wasn't it though. Why was she here? Was she a captive? This made a predatory grin appear on Sesshoumaru's face. Naraku wouldn't get away with it, he would make certain.
Sesshoumaru noticed a change in Kagome. The air she always carried herself with diminished. Sesshoumaru could almost feel the tension increasing inside Kagome's body. She was shaking. Her tiny frame vibrated in a slight manner as if she were a leaf blowing on the wind. She appeared so frail and delicate. Her eyes were cinched shut hiding any sense of emotion she could be feeling from his sight. She moved ever so slowly. Her bare foot slid along the ground no more than an inch, then another, but as she did so her arms reached out. A pale hand, with a petite palm and long, dainty fingers lifted from its clenched position at her side. It gripped his sleeve while the other sunk into the front pocket of his pants, so that only her fingers were hidden in the depths. Her hand closed in a strong grasp on the fabric.
He stood still as unbidden emotions swarmed his mind. Kagome reminded him so much of his mother. It was all shown in her frailty, innocence, and cheery attitude despite all of the terrible events occurring around her. Sesshoumaru shut his eyes, wishing to block out memories that had for so long buried him alive in regret, guilt, and a burning, indescribable anger. His mother's last words to him made his soul weep the tears that never came to his eyes. The cuts, thin, but deep, slicing through her soft pale flesh. The bed soaked through with red and his beloved mother drowning in his own essence. Her blank eyes glazed with the misery she'd never let him see. There was no fear there, but regret as if the woman knew her son was looking at her then. Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth to keep in the poignant sigh. Her anniversary weighed heavily on him recently since its approach was fast coming.
Kagome used Sesshoumaru's height and sturdy legs as her own for support, oblivious to the chaos ranging above her bowed head. What stole her attention was his breathing. Sesshoumaru was nearly panting and when Kagome lifted her eyes, she almost wished she hadn't. The man she knew was strong, unyielding, and who guarded his emotions keeping others a distant was gone. The person before her was a stranger. His calm, blank face was pained. His eyes tightly shut causing his nose to scrunch. His mouth was opened, but his jaw was set and that thin bottom lip quivered just a little. Sesshoumaru, that idiot, was suppressing it, and whatever it was he was reliving was something that killed him every time. Kagome suddenly felt selfish. She wanted to depend on him for his strength, yet she barely knew him. Yes- she saw the man, the facade he wanted everyone to know. This Sesshoumaru, this raw, bitter man was a complete anonymity. Didn't he know that releasing it, letting it go could set him free?
Kagome bit her bottom lip and threw her arms around his waist. Her face buried into his chest just below his collar bone and her arms crushed him flush against her. Sesshoumaru stilled, obviously unused to such a display with his person. With sluggish motions, as if unsure, his arms fell around her. When they did though the power possessed in that embrace filched her breath from her lungs. His forehead dropped down onto her shoulder for just a moment and she felt more than heard the deep intake of air. Sesshoumaru seemed much calmer, composed once again and when Kagome peered at his face, she found the male that turned her world upside down in just a few months. He always made her mad, enraged really with his arrogance and impassive ways. Underneath it all, all this time, he had been suffering. Kagome had been blinded by her own fear of a tormented past that she'd missed it. Everyone around her it seemed was stroked by disaster or a painful past, even one such as Sesshoumaru. Though he must have been the worst off, since he would not let anyone in to see it and he wouldn't be one to talk about it. The ass would see any emotion as weakness.
Sesshoumaru had been surprised when she embraced him. He'd felt vulnerable in her arms, but her heart that pounded against his rib cage reminding him of her own weakness. Kagome wasn't going to pity someone because of some shortcomings because she didn't desire it in return. In that one moment, he had the urge to return the comfort she was willingly offering, but also to throw off her arms is disgust. He didn't need the comfort of others; he was strong enough on his own. She trembled against him and like in the elevator, he held that hard-headed, outspoken woman. This was an action that Sesshoumaru knew would only encourage her peskiness later on as well as her annoying questions. Sesshoumaru shook his head slightly tossing his hair neatly behind his shoulders. He decided that the peace she'd given him now would hopefully merit the future headaches he would indefinitely be in for.
A soft hand ran down his cheek and he matched his gaze with his own. Her eyes were dark in their sorrow, but as he suspected there wasn't any pity, only confusion. Those orbs shined with unshed tears, tears that were for him. Kagome drew him in, like quick sand, and somehow Sesshoumaru knew she'd never release him from her grasp. He studied her again and those foolish tears that were now running down her cheeks. They were for him. The idiocy of such a worthless woman was wearing on his nerves. The irritation was clear in his voice that broke through the atmosphere like a sharpened dagger.
"You are ridiculous. To cry for someone else is pathetic."
Kagome's mouth gaped. She hadn't been expecting that, but then, it was Sesshoumaru. Did she want undying promises of love? This guy was a stone wall, Kagome had just been lucky enough to catch a crack in the sturdiness of the structure. Kagome lifted a hand covering her mouth, but once again her amusement couldn't be contained. The woman laughed still locked in his hold by the hands resting at her lower back. Her forehead laid against his chest as her shoulders shook. She attempted to respond, but her glee was apparently too much.
The joy reverberated through Sesshoumaru's body and inwardly he sighed. He would never understand her. Kagome seemed so simple, a college student who was awaiting the world with bright eyes and a smile, but secretly hidden was a hurting woman who had wiggled her way past his defenses. She saw what few others had witnessed and most likely, she'd never let it go. Sesshoumaru would never hear the end of this. Still, Kagome seemed different from before. He had forced her back into a corner and surrounded her with his imposing personality just minutes before. Kagome hadn't flinched or cowered, except after his voice his response to her question. What had happened while she was here with Naraku? What was her connection? So many questions, Sesshoumaru only wondered if they would be answers. Anyone else and he would be confident he would get them, but Kagome was an enigma. He wouldn't be stunned if she was to wiggle her way out of things she didn't want to do.
..Much appreciation to Wolf Jade and Tsuki Yume my betas!..
