Here it is folks…TORTUGA!

The ship docked in Tortuga that night. Robin and Will followed Jack through the brawling crowds closely, examining the sights with slight distaste.

Drunks were lying in the streets, either laughing hysterically or succumbing to severe hangovers. Other drunks were shooting off pistols and fighting constantly. The other OTHER drunks were being kicked out of the bars by the tired bartenders who looked as if they had been doing it every night since they adopted that as their career. The whores were tempting the drunks, pirates, and civilians, eager to get a night's pleasure and pay. And the pirates were drinking their 6th or 7th bottle of rum, if they weren't already out cold.

The threesome strode through the streets slowly, weaving in and out of the running civilians and beggar children. Jack seemed to feel right at home in the violent crowds. A man stumbled past and Jack grabbed his cane casually.

"More importantly, tis indeed a sad life that has never breathed deep this sweet proliferous bouquet that is Tortuga, savvy?" he said, smiling and looking around. He turned his gaze to Will and Robin. "What do ye think?"

Will looked around uncomfortably.

"It'll linger."

"I tell ye mate, if every town were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted," continued Jack. Robin looked around. Jack looked at her.

"Ye like, lass?"

"New Orleans," she said as a summary. Jack and Will nodded, obviously not understanding, but continued their surveying.

A red-haired woman wearing gobs of white face powder, dark eyeshadow, and bright red lipstick, matching her hair, sidled up to Jack. Robin noticed her cleavage was bulging at the top of her corset, making her occupation immediately obvious. Jack brightened as he spotted her, walking forward.

"Scarlett!" he said in enthusiastic recognition. The whore slapped him hard in the face so that his head snapped back, now facing Will and Robin, who started to laugh hysterically. The whore strode off angrily.

"Not sure I deserved that," he said painfully. As he turned back around, a blonde whore with the same amount of makeup as the last swaggered up. Robin stifled her laughter, watching eagerly. Jack brightened once more.

"Giselle," he said with a smirk.

"'Oo was she?" asked Giselle, smiling matter-of-factly.

"Wha'--?"

SLAP

Robin immediately fell over and started rolling on the ground, laughing uncontrollably. Giselle gave a satisfied look and spun on her heel, walking away with her nose in the air. Jack's head, snapped back to Will once more, winced as if remembering something painful.

"I may 'ave deserved that," he said. Robin stopped laughing, still gasping for air.

"So, the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow DOES have his problems!" she exclaimed.

"Yes yes hilarious," said Jack, rolling his eyes at her and walking off once more. Will and Robin followed, each stifling small fits of laughter.

The threesome walked around a stable to a well. Jack lowered the bucket and began drawing water.

"Why do we need water?" asked Will.

"Ye'll see," said Jack, handing the bucket to him and lowering another for Robin. Getting one himself, he turned and led the way around the rest of the stable to the pig pen, where an old man resembling a badger lay asleep, snoring loudly. Jack threw his bucket of water over him and he woke up spluttering.

"Curse ye fer breathin' ye slack-jawed idiot!" he yelled, looking around wildly. His eyes landed on the three. "Mother's love. Jack. Ye know better than me not to wake a man when he's sleepin. Tis bad luck."

Jack smiled and crouched down next to him.

"Ah, fortunately I know how to counter it. The man who did the waking buys the man who did the sleeping a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition by the man who did the waking." He offered the man his hand.

The man blinked, trying to figure out what Jack had said, then he gave up and took Jack's hand, standing up.

"Aye. That'll about do it," he said, smiling. Will suddenly threw his bucket of water on him as well. The man spluttered.

"Blast I'M ALREADY AWAKE!"

"That was for the smell," said Will. Robin suddenly threw her bucket of water on the man as well. He cried out and shook his head roughly to get the water out of his eyes.

"What was that one fer?" he asked. Robin shrugged.

"Sorry, did I need a reason?"

Jack quickly stepped in before the man could attack Robin. He found him a towel and introduced Will and Robin. The man's name was Joshamee Gibbs and he had apparently worked with Jack before.

They got up and walked to one of Jack's favorite pubs called The Faithful Bride. Inside, every single person was arguing or beating up another person. The children were scrounging around for spare coins. The whores, of course, were hitting on the fighting drunks, who were easily distracted by the alluring women and received painful shots from their opponents.

Robin watched the fights interestedly before joining in, herself. Jack instructed Will to keep a sharp eye out and strode over to Gibbs, bearing drinks. He switched the mugs around quickly before setting them in front of himself and Gibbs.

"Just the one," he said. Gibbs lowered his mug.

"Make it last then," he said. Jack nodded and took a small sip. "Now, what's the nature of this venture o' yourn?" Jack hesitated.

"I'm goin' after the Black Pearl," said Jack. Gibbs choked. Jack continued. "I know where it's goin' ta be, and I'm gonna take it." Gibbs shook his head.

"Jack, tis a fool's errand. Why you know better than me the tales o' the Black Pearl."

"That's why I know what Barbossa is up to. All I need is a crew," said Jack, smirking.

"When I hear tales o' Cap'n Barbossa, 'e's not a man ta suffer fools nor strike a bargain with one."

"Well I say it's a very good thing I'm not a fool then, aye."

"Prove me wrong. What makes ye think Barbossa'll give up his ship to you?" asked Gibbs.

"Let's just say it's a matter of leverage, aye," said Jack mysteriously. Will looked over at them briefly before continuing to keep a look out.

Gibbs grunted in a confused way. Jack nodded his head at Will. Gibbs shook his head, not getting the hint. Jack nodded his head more vigorously at Will, eyes wide, trying to tell him who without words. Gibbs got the hint and looked at Will. He turned back to Jack.

"The kid?" he asked. Jack nodded.

"That is the child of Bootstrap Bill Turner. His only child, savvy," said Jack smirking. Gibbs's expression changed.

"Is he now? Leverage says you. I think I feel a change in the winds says I. I'll find us a crew. There's bound ta be some sailors on this rock crazy as you."

Jack raised his mug. "One could only hope." Gibbs followed suit.

"Take what ye can!"

"Give nothin' back!" finished Jack. They clinked their mugs, drank deeply, and banged their mugs on the table.

The brawl at the other end of the pub then became a great deal louder. Jack and Gibbs looked around. Will stared on in bewilderment as the drunken brawlers lifted Robin onto their shoulders and drunkenly paraded out the door. Jack, Gibbs, and Will followed and watched as the drunken brawlers staggered out to the docks with her on their shoulders. She seemed to be a bit drunk herself.

The three men watched as the drunks walked right out onto the end of the dock and tossed Robin into the ocean. They howled with laughter as she came up choking on water. She laughed as well, now seeming very drunk. The crowd dispersed as Jack, Gibbs, and Will walked over to her.

Jack gave Robin a hand and pulled her back onto the dock. She was still laughing drunkenly.

"Now luv, did you 'ave anything to drink?" he asked.

"Uh…maybe…hic…ya," said Robin swaying a little like Jack did when he walked. He looked at her curiously.

" 'Ow did ye pay fer it?"

Robin hiccupped again and giggled as she drew out a small brown leather pouch that jangled slightly. Jack's eyes widened.

"OI! 'Ow'd ye get my moneybag?"

"Pirate," she said shrugging. He snatched it back from her and stalked back to where the ship lay moored after telling Gibbs to find a crew.

:x:X:x:X:x:X:x:X:x:X:x:X:x:X:x:X:x:X:x:X:x:X:x:X:x:

The next morning Jack, Will, and Robin made their way down to the dock where Gibbs had lined up all the sailors he had found.

"Feast yer eyes, Cap'n. All o' them faithful hands before the mast. Every man worth his salt. An' crazy ta boot," he said as Jack examined the sailors all standing at attention. Robin smiled.

"Well, then they'll all fit in quite nicely," she said optimistically. Jack shot her a look.

"So this is your able-bodied crew?" asked Will in disgust. Jack ignored him and continued to move down the line. He stopped at an old man with a blue and yellow parrot on his shoulder.

"You sailor!" he exclaimed.

"Cotton sir," prompted Gibbs. Jack continued.

"Mr. Cotton. Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?"

Cotton didn't answer.

"Mr. Cotton! Answer me!" demanded Jack forcefully. Gibbs cut in.

"Uh, he's a mute sir. Poor devil had his tongue cut out. So he trained the parrot to talk for him. No one's yet figured how."

Mr. Cotton showed Jack his severed tongue. Jack opened his mouth and stuck out his own in retaliation with a pained expression on his face. He started to move on but paused.

"Mr. Cotton's…parrot, same question."

"Brack! Wind in the sails! Wind in the sails!" squawked the parrot. Jack looked at Gibbs.

"Mos'ly we figure tha' means yes."

"Course it does," said Jack efficiently. He turned to Will. "Satisfied?"

"Well you've proved they're mad," said Will in frustration. Robin piped up.

"Wonderful!"

Will looked as though he was going to strangle her.

"And what's the benefit for us?" asked a stern voice from the end of the line. Jack went pale, wincing and walking over to the figure, peeking under their hat. Slowly, he removed it.

"Anamaria," he said. The dark-skinned, dark-haired, stern-faced woman slapped him hard across the face. Robin clapped and began laughing hysterically again.

"I suppose you didn't deserve that one either?" said Will.

"No, that one I deserved," said Jack painfully.

"You stole my boat!" said the woman.

"Actually--" started Jack.

SLAP!

"--Borrowed…borrowed without permission, but with every intention of bringing it back," he finished, assuming a false smile. Robin laughed.

"But you DIDN'T!" yelled Anamaria. Jack put on a fake sweet voice to match the smile.

"You'll get another one."

She pointed her finger at him in a threatening manner.

"I WILL!" she said menacingly. Will cut in.

"A better one."

Jack grinned. "A better one."

"That one," said Will pointing at the Interceptor.

"What one?" asked Jack looking at where Will was pointing. "THAT ONE?" Will nodded. Jack turned back to Anamaria, smile back in place. "Aye, THAT one. What say you?"

"AYE!" yelled Anamaria.

"AYE!" yelled the rest of the crew before gathering supplies. Anamaria snatched her hat back from Jack before following. Gibbs approached Jack.

"No no no no no. It's frightful bad luck to bring a woman aboard sir," he said cautiously. Robin immediately stopped laughing.

"EXCUSE ME?" she said, walking over to him.

"It'll be far worse not to however," said Jack looking at the sky with a pained expression.

"TOO RIGHT IT WILL!" yelled Robin from the background. She slapped Gibbs on the back of the head before walking over to Anamaria, who was loading rum bottles into a crate.

"Men!" Robin muttered in frustration, packing a few bottles into the crate.

"I know!" said Anamaria, equally as frustrated. Robin looked up at her.

"You slap well."

Anamaria looked up.

"Thanks," she said brightly, smiling at Robin.

"Usually I just smack 'em on the back of the head," said Robin.

"Nah, ye need ta get the message across to 'em. Go try Jack. Go on."

Robin walked over to Jack, who was at the helm. He gave her a cocky smirk.

"'Ow may I 'elp ye lu--"

Robin smacked him across the face with remarkable strength. He staggered back with the force of it.

"OI! What was that fer?" yelled the wounded Captain, rubbing his cheek.

"Punishment," said Robin.

"Bu' I didn't do anything!" he yelled incredulously.

"Well then consider it punishment for something you've gotten away with," said Robin triumphantly. She marched back to Anamaria who was fighting back laughter.

The victorious thief uncorked two of the rum bottles, handing one to Anamaria. They clinked bottles, chugging them down.

Jack watched them from the helm through narrowed eyes.

(There's something strange about that girl) he thought, shaking his head.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sorry about the long update. Research papers are evil. REVIEW!