A/N: I'm SOOO sorry that I took forever to post this, but believe it or not, I had it finished for a long time. My mom surprised me with a trip for spring break and off I went for three weeks without a chance to get this up. But here it is now! It's sad, so break out the Kleenex. And by the way, I'm almost at a hundred reviews. This is insane. Thank you sooo much, I love you people. Enjoy!

FADING – Chapter Six

Sunday Afternoon

Ryan shifted in his bed and pulled himself upright, doing his best to cover up a wince as his chest made its protest at his movement. Making an attempt to smooth down his hair and scrub the cobwebs from his vision, Ryan faced his friends with what he hoped was a smile. "Hey, guys." He said warmly, fiddling with the button by his arm to raise up the head of the bed.

Marissa was immediately at his side and kissed him deeply, her hand cupping his face. "I've been so worried about you." She whispered in his ear as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "How do you feel?"

"I feel fine, really." He assured them as Seth and Summer approached the bed. Seth looked nervous as he walked across the room, Summer's arm around his waist and a drawn, concerned expression on his face that he was trying to hide but failing miserably. Ryan did his best to make his foster brother feel at ease. "Hey, man." He said, reaching out a hand.

Seth hesitated, but after a moment, bumped knuckles with the boy in the bed and the frown lines on his face smoothed somewhat. "Dude, you sure know how to make mountains out of molehills." He chuckled, plopping down onto a corner of the mattress. "We bring you in here with a booboo to the finger and look at you now." He shook his head emphatically.

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Believe me, if I could get out of here right now, I would." He said vehemently. "But…you know, with the tests and stuff, they need me to stay."

"Which is exactly why I, as your wing man, brought you the 'Ryan Atwood Hospital Survival Pack'." Seth declared joyfully as he picked up the backpack he had brought into the room with him, unzipping it and rooting around. "We've brought you the comforts of our home to you, my good friend, including your beloved tank top of choice: the wifebeater." He held up one of the white shirts proudly.

With a look of disgust, Summer shook her head. "Wifebeaters Chino? Ew!" She said, ruffling his hair affectionately.

Grinning, Ryan took the shirt and looked at Seth hopefully. "Please tell me you've got sweatpants in there, too." He begged,

"Alas, Ryan, how can you even doubt me?" He asked, reaching into the bag once more and producing one pair of faded, baggy gray sweats. "I know you all too well, man."

Ryan's smile grew wider as he took the clothes from his friend. "You have no idea how badly I've wanted these." He said, pushing his blankets down and sitting up. "I've been stuck in this stupid hospital gown for two days, which, for your information is backless, and…" When he swung his legs over to the side of the bed and stood up, his vision swam and grayed. Ryan's knees buckled and he pitched forward.

"Ryan!" Marissa cried, grabbing for his arm.

Seth reacted and caught his friend around the waist, holding him upright. "Whoa, there, buddy. Take it easy, okay?" He said worriedly, waiting as he felt Ryan begin to stand on his own again. "Wait, wait a sec, Ryan. I'm gonna sit you back down for a minute, okay?" He said reassuringly as he slowly lowered his foster brother's deadweight back onto the bed.

Ryan put a hand over his eyes as he waited for the blurriness in his vision to clear, for the dizziness to fade. "I'm fine." He said hurriedly.

Scooting up beside him, Marissa put an arm around his shoulders and studied his face. "Yeah right." She muttered.

"I just stood up too fast, that's all." Ryan insisted, dropping his hand and facing three very scared and concerned friends as they all gaped back at him. "I'm fine."

Seth opened his mouth to protest when suddenly the door to the hospital room opened and Sandy flew inside, his face full of concern. "Ryan, are you okay? What happened?" He hurried to the side of the bed and tried to push Ryan back into a horizontal position. "What are you doing trying to get out of bed, kid? Lie back down, please…"

"Sandy, I'm fine." Ryan growled suddenly, pushing his foster father's hands away standing up again before anyone else could stop him. This time it took only a few seconds for the dizziness to fade. "I'm just going to get changed. I'll be right back." He insisted, grabbing his clothes and walking to the ensuite bathroom door.

Sandy followed him a few steps. "You need a hand?" He asked softly,

When he turned back around, Ryan shook his head, embarrassment and resent clearly in his eyes. "I think I can handle this on my own." He muttered back.

Once the door shut behind him, Sandy sighed, raking a hand through his shaggy hair. Hearing the silence behind him, he slowly turned around to see three stunned faces. "Well," he said quietly. "That could have gone better." He summarized, walking to the door.

"Mr. Cohen…should we leave?" Summer asked.

Seth shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere." He insisted, sitting back down on the bed as if to prove his point.

"Me neither." Marissa added.

Sandy's lips were pressed to a thin line as he glanced back at the three teenagers, and he nodded. "I think that maybe that's best." He said slowly. "No matter what Ryan thinks, he does need you, all of you. And there is something important he has to say. The sooner, the better."

Seth watched his father walk out of the room. "Dad!" He called after him, and when Sandy's head reappeared in the door way, he asked. "What does he need to tell us?"

A nearly imperceptible wave of sadness flashed over Sandy's face, and he winced. But after taking a deep breath, he shook his head, his expression grim. "We promised him. He'll tell you on his own." With that, the door was shut again and he was gone.

Seconds later the bathroom door opened and Ryan walked out, now clothed in his sweatpants and wifebeater, his expression slightly weary but also placidly calm. He looked unsure of what to say as he walked back to the bed and sat down slowly, seeing Marissa smile at him reassuringly and suddenly unable to offer one back.

Summer spoke up first. "You know, Chino, as much as I hate to admit it, you look better in this." She nodded to herself approvingly. "I mean, your butt is cute and all, but that turquoise gown was just heinous."

When Seth and Marissa laughed, Ryan managed a tiny smile, and glanced at Summer gratefully. "Right." He said, the mood sobering immediately. "Well, um…I don't mean to kick you guys out or anything but I need a moment alone with Marissa." He blurted out.

Seth looked surprised and hurt. "Are you kidding?" He asked. "Come on, Ryan. Whatever you are going to tell her you can tell me. I'm your brother, man."

"Seth, I want to tell her first, alone." Ryan begged, a lump forming in his throat. This was hard enough as it was, why did Seth have to make it worse?

"First? Uh uh. I'm staying right here, and you're going to tell all of us." Seth crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared Ryan down, his brown eyes full of shock and fear.

His eyes filling with tears which he struggled vainly to hold back, Ryan grabbed Seth's sleeve. "Seth, please." He whispered.

Seth stared back at him. "I'm not leaving this room until you tell me what's going on." He said softly, his eyes also flashing with unshed tears.

Defeated, Ryan sat back into his pillows, wiping at his eyes hurriedly and staring down at his hands. It was now or never. He knew what he wanted to say, it was just three small words that would get everything out into the open and once he had said it, it would be over. But suddenly his throat had closed, and his heart was pounding painfully in his chest. How could he tell them that he was sick. How was he supposed to say that he wasn't going to be able to be the same Ryan they knew before, the one that was tough and got into fights at fundraisers and fancy events, that took care of his girlfriend when she was in trouble or got his best friend out of sticky situations that he always seemed to get himself into? How was he supposed to tell them that everything was going to change?

He hadn't realized he had been silent for a full two minutes until Marissa began to gently stroke his sandy hair, brushing his bangs away from his face. "Ryan?" She said softly. "Are you okay?"

Ryan didn't even lift his head. "I have cancer." He said, his voice barely audible. But he knew they had heard it.

For a moment, the silence was palpable. "What?" Marissa finally asked, her voice low, her town disbelieving.

"I have cancer." Ryan repeated. "Leukemia. The doctor told me last night."

This time there was a gasp, then, after a few moments, a sob. Ryan didn't want to look up. If he looked he knew he'd find them staring at him in fear, concern, and pity, three emotions that he'd had enough of in the past twenty-four hours. But he didn't think he could afford to keep looking away.

When he did finally lift his head, he was not let down. Marissa was struggling to hold back the sobs that were shaking her frame, her hands clenching unconsciously at his bed sheets. Summer was wiping at tears that rolled down her cheeks one by one, hypnotically, moving to sit beside her best friend and offer a hug of comfort. Seth, however, was staring at Ryan, his eyes wide in complete shock.

Ryan swallowed hard, placing a hesitant hand on Marissa's shoulder. He looked up at his best friend, unable to stand his silence any longer. "Seth…"

"Cancer?" Seth choked out. "Wh…what, how? I mean, are you sure?" He stuttered, unmoving from where he stood at the side of the bed.

With a small sigh, Ryan nodded. He had known that this would be hard. But he didn't think it would hurt this much. As much as he hated to admit it, reassurance wasn't something he felt that he could give right now. What he needed was for someone else to be the one to take control and tell him that he would be fine. And though it made him uncomfortable to feel so weak, he needed those simple words badly.

Marissa sniffed, wiping at her eyes feebly. "Ryan…I…" she gasped, shaking her head, unsure of what to say. Suddenly she flung herself up from the bed and ran from the room.

"Coop!" Summer called after her. Casting Ryan one last sympathetic glace and squeezing her boyfriend's hand, Summer raced after her.

When they were alone, Ryan half wished that Seth would flee the room as well. He could feel his foster brother's eyes burning a hole into the side of his head from where he sat on the bed, head bowed, willing away the stinging of tears. As badly as Ryan knew Seth needed comfort, Ryan needed it more.

After an agonizing silence, Seth drew in a shaky breath. "Well, I must say." He said dryly. "Things were getting to be a little too happy around here anyway." He chuckled humorlessly, sinking down wearily into one of the bedside chairs.

With a tiny smile, Ryan peeked over at his friend and smirked. "Guess you're right."

Humor dying, Seth shook his head and stared at Ryan. "Leukemia?" He asked softly, disbelieving. At the other's nod, he sighed, resting his head in his hands. "So…what are they going to do? Because, obviously you're going to get better right away. There must be a game plan. What's the gist?" He asked, his tone light and conversational.

Ryan hid the smile of gratitude that crept up at Seth's unswayed positivism. "I think you should ask your parents about that one." He said, leaning back into his pillows, fingers absently running over the bandage on his chest. "I wasn't really paying attention last night. Dr. Collins is coming in later to talk about treatment, but other than that I'm a little lost."

"Well I guess it doesn't really matter, right?" Seth said hurriedly, his eyes seeking out Ryan's as he sat forward slightly in his seat, resting his elbows on the bed. "Because you're going to be fine." His voice wasn't coddling, nor was it meant as a question. What Seth said was a firm statement that he didn't even expect an answer to.

Tears pricking his eyes once more, Ryan ran a hand across his face and bobbed his head jerkily. "Right." He said softly. It didn't matter if he wasn't sure that it was true. It didn't even matter if he believed it or not. But the only way he could survive another day was to tell himself that everything would be alright.

Running a hand through his tousled curls, Seth glanced at the door. "Marissa didn't take that so well, though, huh?" He asked rhetorically.

Ryan shook his head. "About as well as I expected." He mumbled. "With everything she's been through this past year…this is the last thing she needs."

"And what about you, man?" Seth asked suddenly, the question taking Ryan by surprise. "You think you've had it easy since you got here? So what if this is hard on her. She's not the one who is sick. That would be you. And if she was the one lying in this hospital bed right now I know damned well that you wouldn't have run out of the room." He said, sitting back in his chair, a frown of anger creasing his face, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

After getting over his initial shock, Ryan shook his head. "Seth…"

"No, don't stick up for her, Ryan." Seth interjected quickly. After seeing the pained look on his foster brother's face, his tone softened and he sighed. "You want me to go talk to her?" He offered.

Ryan rolled his eyes. "I think that's the last thing I'd want right now." He said, shooting Seth a glare of amusement. The curly-haired boy smiled in response. "I'm just going to wait…she'll come back."

"I'll wait with you." Seth said quickly. "Besides, Summer and those rage blackouts…Marissa will be back here any minute. I'm speaking from experience here." He smirked.

Ryan reveled in the smile that came to his lips.


In the hall, Kirsten sat with her head resting on Sandy's shoulder. They watched through the window silently with sad smiles on their lips as Ryan and Seth talked quietly in the hospital room. Seth was doing most of the talking, as usual, his hands gesturing wildly as he told some story that was without a doubt meant to make Ryan laugh. Ryan watched him from the bed, his usual small smile turning up the corners of his lips as he listened to his brother speak. However hard he was trying to enjoy Seth's animated conversation, his eyes gave him away. There was no usual spark of happiness or mischievousness that usually lingered behind his dark, expressive blue orbs. In their wake was undeniable fear that Ryan was so carefully guarding and doing his best to keep hidden.

Kirsten saw it every time she looked at him.

After letting out a deep sigh, Kirsten closed her eyes. "I'm scared, Sandy." She said suddenly, feeling her husband's head turn to look at her in surprise; not at her words, but the sudden speech after both of them had been sitting in silence for ages. "I didn't think that I'd be able to admit it, but…seeing our sons like this, knowing how much we have at stake…" Her voice trailed off.

Sandy brushed a hand through her golden hair. "Shh…Kirsten, don't." He whispered softly. "Don't do this to yourself. Ryan is going to be fine, you'll see. Everything is going to work out." It was a mantra that he knew was beginning to wear thin. But Sandy would never tire from repeating it.

Kirsten wiped at her eyes. "I know everything is going to be okay…I mean, it won't, but we're going to take care of Ryan no matter what the cost. But we've just been so lucky. I feel like we have the perfect family. I guess that in the back of my mind I've just been waiting for the other shoe to drop." She lifted her head off Sandy's shoulder and clasped her hands in her lap. After a long moment, she looked up at him, her blue eyes flashing with hope. "I'm not going to let anything happen to him, Sandy. I'm not letting him go."

Taking a deep breath, Sandy nodded tightly. Wrapping his arms around his wife, he pulled her to him, burying his head in her neck. "I'm not either." He whispered.

For a long time they sat intertwined in on another's arms, both silent until finally, after what seemed like years, the sound of the room door opening broke the quiet and they pulled apart, looking up in surprise.

Seth stood awkwardly in the hall, slowly pulling the door shut behind him. His posture was drooped, his head bowed, and his expression pained. Chewing on his bottom lip, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and faced his parents silently, still staring at the ground. When he finally looked up, his eyes filled with tears and his resolve crumbled. "He uh…wants to know when the doctor is coming by." He said quietly, his voice cracking.

Kirsten stood up and went to her son, instinctively wrapping her arms around him. Whatever front Seth had been able to put up in front of his friend shattered and he gave in to his mother's embrace, tears spilling from his eyes. "What's going to happen, mom?" He whispered fearfully.

Not knowing what to say, Kirsten just hugged him tight and soothed a hand across his back.

From around the corner of the hall Marissa appeared with Summer at her side, a renewed look of calm on her face, their hands gripping one another's tightly, exchanging strength. When they took in the scene in front of them, both stopped short. Seth stood crying in his mother's arms, his usual quirky, humorous demure nowhere to be seen. Marissa felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. The new, positive outlook Summer had helped her regain in the few minutes they had spent together in the ladies room disappeared, and something started to whisper in the back of her mind.

This was real.


A/N: This one was actually quite hard to write. I rewrote a couple parts so many times because it either felt too sucky or not believable enough. I hope everyone liked it…it's quite sad, I know. Well, I promise to have another chapter up quicker than the last one, that's for sure! The plot should slowly pick up now. Please review, you know it fuels me! Cheers!

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