"Do you want hot chocolate or tea?"
"Hot chocolate- duh you should know that by now!"
"Okay, okay I'm sorry. Maybe you should be less predictable sometimes?"
"Nah."
Kagome laughed at Shippou's unconcerned answer. He closed his eyes and shook his head as if in disregard. It wasn't even an option to pick tea over the ever yummy chocolaty goodness that the other provided.
"So what movie did you want to watch?"
"I dunno…you pick."
"I always pick, can't you make up your mind for once?" Shippou said exasperatedly.
"Jeez- who's being the mom now?"
Shippou huffed two seconds from sending the young woman into the corner. Then realizing this thought his mouth dropped open stealing a giggle from the observing Kagome. Shippou rubbed his cheeks with both hands. He was becoming too responsible for a kid of his age and especially when you compare him to Kagome who had like fifteen years over him.
"Fine I'll choose. How about 'Moulin Rouge'? Oh wait! You're not old enough to see that…what about…err…Cinderella?"
"Hey! I've seen it twice!"
Kagome went wide eyed. The movie was PG-13, but still there were a lot of insinuations that weren't meant to be seen by a kid only seven years. Hell when she was Shippou's age she didn't even know about sex, babies come from the sky carried by storks. So that only lasted like two years and once Kagome left elementary school that excuse was abandoned because of the reality that is television, but still…
"Where? Who would let you watch that!"
Kagome put her hands on her hips and looked down squarely at him. Her eyes were squinted and her mouth pursed in what could have been a serious look for Kagome, but it didn't give the expected reaction from Shippou. He laughed, which in turn made her struggle to not smile as well. Shippou's laugh was so contagious it was insane and soon Kagome was swooping down pulling the grinning boy into her arms. The two sat with Shippou in her lap in front of the book shelf holding the DVDs. The shelf was about three in width and four high with a purpose only to store Kagome's overwhelming collection that was still consistently growing.
"So when are Rin and Kohaku coming over?"
"Um…I think Sango agreed on five. Sesshoumaru was very adamant on Rin's bedtime being no later than eight." Kagome answered.
"He's such a prune."
Shippou crossed his arms with a sour expression. Kagome laughed.
"He is not. Sleep is important. Even you get grumpy without it, like right now."
"I am not grouchy!"
"Uh huh."
Kagome poked him in the side enjoying the jump and unconscious squeal he gave off that made the little boy sound awfully girlish. His expression became crumpled as he slouched back against her.
"How hard have you been working on this booth thing?"
Her little kit and pieces immediately brightened and turned half way around to face her.
"It's AWESOME! You have to come!"
"Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world."
Kagome smiled tenderly running a hand through her bangs combing them back. The strands immediately fell forward again obviously preferring their position against the boy's forehead. Kagome lifted him up and placed him back in front of the shelf. She headed for the kitchen intent of refilling her tea cup. Shippou's was still half full, but cooling. She grabbed it on her way so she could warm it up a little for him. He never liked it cold since that took away the whole point of 'hot' chocolate.
"You pick a movie, an appropriate one this time. I think Rin got nightmares from Jurassic Park last time."
"Sure…" He said not even listening.
Shippou's gaze was already scanning the titled veraciously searching for the perfect flick to suit his mood. Last time had been kind of a disaster. The five of them had decided on having a movie night every week after Kagome got back from her vacation. That's what Kagome said it was and Shippou believed her, though he knew there was something she didn't want to tell him. For instance, there was a bruise on one side of her face near her ear. It was light, faded and obviously old. Shippou was certain he'd tell her someday; maybe he was just too young right now to understand. He chalked up a lot of what Kagome left unsaid to that, he was only seven after all.
Anyways, the movie night had been his idea. It was a reason for him to get together with his friends out of school and that wasn't school related at all. Though they did talk about some of the things they were doing at school like the upcoming festival, only four days away on Saturday, or recent projects. They agreed that every Tuesday, they would house their entertainment at Kagome's apartment in front of the television with everyone boggled down by popcorn and hawked up on soda. It was perfect and usually fun. Sometimes they played games like 'Outburst' or 'Twister' before if Rin, Kohaku, and he were too hyper to sit still and watch the film.
The door bell rang and Shippou heard Kagome yell for him to get it.
…Meanwhile…
Kagome had entered the kitchen feeling relaxed, or sort of. There was a pang inside of her like a bruise that just wouldn't go away. Every time you even grazed it, the burn was evident and blew up out of proportion. Kagome sighed, rubbing her temples. It was hard to hide everything was Shippou. She'd cracked earlier today and felt immensely better afterwards. So much that she knew, always knew really, that she could trust the little boy. He was like a son to her after all. He would be soon if Kagome had anything to do about it too.
However, a grey cloud hung over her still that couldn't be ignored no matter how Kagome tried. She had attached herself fruitlessly to Shi in hopes that maybe she'd be able to help her, save her. It would all be in vain in the end; Kagome had known that from beginning. The little girl was already too far gone by the time Kagome met her. It was impossible to even stall the flow of the disease's course for even a few weeks, but Kagome had tried so hard. She overworked herself, stressed herself to find that clue. There was one key and if she could find it the door could be open. Then it would only be a matter of time before the cure would land in her lap. Kagome had been naïve. She always thought that her dealings with Naraku would make that fact unredeemable, but here Kagome found herself again. Tangled up in grief and buried by the silence that she pulled back down upon herself like the covers of her bed.
Now it was too late…too late. The words rang out clear, the truth of them brutally clear. Kagome had lost another to cancer and she refused, absolutely, to lose another. She didn't know what she would do if she did. Maybe Kagome wasn't personally attached to these children like through blood, but their lives still had meaning. They had so much to look forward, not everyone lived such a painful existence as hers. It hadn't all been so bad and Kagome was grateful she'd lived it. She was alive. To live is to suffer, one of the four Buddha's.
"Kagome! Come on we're going to start soon." Shippou called from the living room.
Sango, dressed in cargo boy shorts down to her knees and a tight red tee shirt, entered the kitchen to help Kagome with the drinks. In her arms were another box of tummy-lovin' popcorn and a box of Girl Scout cookies. Kagome drooled.
"O-oh thin mints!"
Kagome snatched the box opening it and stealing one cookie. She held it tenderly in her palm before putting the whole thing in her mouth. Sango snickered.
"Practicing?"
"Wha-fft?"
Kagome nearly choked and focused on chewing moving her head from side to side. Her eyes rolled upwards showing her haste to finish the delicious treat to be able to speak again. Sango shook her head and waved off her question.
"No- what?"
"Never mind…what's with the slippers?"
Kagome glanced down at her cow slippers. Her feet tucked down into them with a cow head on her toe that bounced when she walked. At her heel was a short three inch tail that always flopped to one side of the other never quite sitting straight. The slippers were fuzzy soft, comfortable and Kagome told Sango so.
"Hey- they're comfortable! And while we're at it what's with the guy shorts?"
"They're comfortable." Sango replied smugly.
Sango had thrown Kagome's vague answer back at her that supposedly explained everything that was ridiculous about her slippers. Kagome smiled.
"Didn't shave?"
Sango blushed before reaching out to smack her friend in the arm. Kagome jumped out of the way at the last second managing to dodge the table too. It was surprising for her really, it was Kagome after all. Kagome laughed, the sound was odd as it fell, forced from her friend's lips and Sango knew all wasn't as it seemed.
Sango stopped and leaned back against the stove. Her face was set serious as she rested her arms across her chest just beneath her breasts. One leg crossed over the other and Kagome saw the woman had no intention of leaving things as they were right now. They could talk about it here in public or out in the living where Kohaku, Rin, and Shippou would heat everything. Even though Kagome had planned on speaking to Shippou, it didn't sit right talking about such things with more than her soon-to-be-son and best friend.
"You don't have to hide from me. I can see that you're cowering, I just don't know from what."
Sango's brows drew together, one hand rested against where her heart beat deep in her chest cavity. Her voice gained a nearly pleading tone.
"God Kagome!" Her voice lowered to a rough whisper. "Why do you have to do this to yourself? You kept all of what happened in your past inside for years. Years-"
Sango twisted and faced the back of the stove. She fought her tears and the frustration building in her that made her want to slug her friend good just once. If it would have knocked some sense into Kagome maybe Sango would, but violence appalled Kagome and she recoiled from it. She was a shy little cat, one you had to coax out from under the bed with sweet whispers and a gentle hand. Sango wasn't sure she could do this, really she didn't.
Sango knew what was wrong and it was so heart wrenching to realize that Kagome's life was so boggled with tragedy. No one deserved that, especially not someone like Kagome who through everything remained caring and loving to everyone with the only exception was to herself. Sango bowed her head wishing that for once Miroku hadn't revealed such serious thoughts. Normally seeing such a different side to him from the one gorged in lechery, Sango was enthralled, but this time his news dealt a heavy blow.
"Kagome…Miroku told me."
Her voice was soft, but Kagome's gasp was even more so. It was a simple release of the air in her lungs that left her gaping. Kagome looked away clearly unbalanced and unsure of how to tread of this vein of thought Sango had left open.
"I don't blame you for feeling regret, of not being able to help, but you…" Sango's eyes watered, "you can't charge yourself with guilt on this one! You did nothing wrong!"
Kagome pulled herself up onto the counter near the kitchen window. She turned her head staring outside at the bright sun just beginning to sink in the sky at five o'clock. The days were certainly longer than now; she'd miss that hour of sleep.
Something in Sango snapped. Why did Kagome have to be this way? So easy to blame herself, but bend over backwards to believe someone else?
"Kahi-chan!"
Kagome stiffened, but little fear rose in her. She was more startled than anything else mainly because it was Sango's anger filled voice that said it and not the overly smooth voice of Naraku.
"That was what he called you, right? Does it bother you!"
Sango was angry and Kagome didn't know why. She was slightly offended that Sango brought up something intentionally knowing that it would hurt her. Kagome was completely certain Sango didn't wish this upon her though. Kagome chewed on her tongue anxiously wondering why her friend would say it.
"Why would you say something like that? Was it just to hurt me Sango?" Kagome said slightly angered as well not sure of her friend's motives.
"No," Sango said shocked. "But Kagome you of all people should know life is painful! You should also know I would never hurt you like that intentionally!"
Sango took a deep breath. Her head was swimming and Sango really needed to calm down. Ruining her friendship with Kagome, her savior in disguise, was not on her list of things to do today.
"Look…I'm not so good with this kind of thing, okay? I don't know why you always blame yourself, but it doesn't help that you never tell me either! You touched me, back when my parents died, when not even my own brother, bless his heart, could reach me. Gods- don't you know how much you mean to me? To Shippou too?" Her voice strained.
Kagome glanced up quickly, the color of her eyes darkening with a true sadness. Her voice was soft and tender as it wavered lightly.
"I tried everything…"
Kagome gulped taking a slow, calming breath.
"I wracked my brain, did research, followed every hint to the end, and came up empty handed. Do you know how…how devastating that was?"
Kagome's throat tightened and her voice squeaked with her tears. She moistened her dry lips and looked up at nothing, but seeing all too much at the same time. A vision filled her head of a shyly smiling Shi when Kagome brought in a guitar for the girl. Kagome had found out about her sensational love for music and the old thing was just rotting away in disuse in the back of Kagome's mother's closet anyways. Kagome had of course asked first if it was alright, but her mother had no objections, only that it should be returned.
"I can't say everything will be alright, Kagome." Sango began slowly.
The woman approached her dearest friend steadily. Upon reaching her Sango embraced her wrapping her arms around Kagome's shaking shoulders.
"But I love you Kagome, you're the greatest friend I've had and one of the most sincere people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting."
Sango held Kagome out of shoulders length abruptly. Her eyes were serious, but the light danced in them showing her care openly.
"Why not just brave the world and hope for the best?"
Kagome was confused now.
"Sango?"
"You hide in that world of yours inside your own heart. For the gods' sake, quit wallowing will you? Not every mishap is your fault, okay?"
Kagome blushed embarrassed, smiling nervously. She didn't think anyone ever noticed the fact that she daydreamed wishing for the perfect life she would never know. Suddenly she felt pathetic, but offered a small smile and a tilt of her head.
"I'll try, okay? I can't just…change who I am. There really wasn't," Kagome swallowed the grapefruit that appeared so quickly in her throat, "anything I could do for Shi…but she deserved to live! Shi was…Shi was beautiful and she reminded me too much of myself."
Sango latched onto Kagome's arm and gripped her hand in her own unknowing of the person sitting just outside the kitchen listening in wait.
"I though that if she could have survive this…maybe I could get past my own defects too. I'm not perfect, you know?"
"I wouldn't love you any other way. Kagome- you love someone for their good points and their bad. You accept them as a whole, for who they are."
Sango smirked lightly hoping her next poke of fun at Kagome would go over with the preferred effect.
"I mean…" You tapped her chin lightly in thought, "you're clumsy, always off daydreaming in la-la land, have a ferocious temper in the morning…"
Sango ticked them off on her fingers, but didn't get to finish because Kagome had slapped away the hand gripping hers. Sango spotted the small smile on her friend's lips and gave her own overly large one back. Kagome laughed.
"That was scary."
The two laughed and exited the kitchen at Shippou's impatient call. The movie was 'Monsters, Inc.' The popcorn had popped fast, the butter dripping tantalizingly and even the fruit Kagome had cut up quick, for a splice of nutrition, was delicious as well.
The evening went quickly filled with cheerful laughter and Rin getting overly excited half falling out of her seat on the couch. Shippou lounged on Kagome's lap as she sat Indian style-like, but with one leg hanging over the edge of the couch and stretched out onto the floor below. He watched the movie with a distracted expression, his jade eyes clouded and swirling with uneasiness. Kagome felt the change in her son and knew that the end of the movie would be yet another confrontation she wouldn't soon forget.
…Next chapter: Sesshoumaru solves his problems with Takarashi Technology's stock and Naraku.
To ASSKS reviewers: You are all so great! In two chapters you will receive your special scene! Seikio Prep's annual spring festival has finally come! I wonder what shall occur…
