A/N: I decided I'm also putting a bit of Asuka/Rei in this story as well as K/S. So if this isn't your cup of tea, don't read. Or go die.
"These are the pilots of
the Evangelions" He spread three photos into a neat row on the
table. "Rei Ayanami, Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langely-Soryu.
Remember their faces, for these are the first, second and third
children, respectively."
"Ikari... Gendo Ikari's son?"
"Correct. The two share a very strained relationship, they rarely interact. Befriend Shinji if you can, and learn about him."
Asuka and Shinji were walking home from school late in the afternoon, after staying behind for band practice. Their shadows stretched long and dark behind them as they walked.
"Misato's working late tonight" Shinji said.
"Ah. Want to eat dinner somewhere nice then?" Asuka questioned, looking at him.
A while later they were seated in a restaurant, inspecting their menus. Shinji was blushing slightly, vaguely believing this to be some sort of "date". But Asuka didn't seem to believe as such. She was rather calm, and behaved as she normally did. Shinji couldn't see her face because it was hidden by the menu but Asuka suddenly spoke up after a long silent pause.
"What was that new boy like?" she asked.
"Nagisa?" Shinji asked, blue eyes peering over the top of his menu. He looked thoughtful. "Hmm... he's strange."
"I don't like him" Asuka said. "He reminds me of Wonder-girl. He's probably just as much of a doll as she is."
"Ayanami told me they aren't related... Well... she said they were the same but not related" Shinji had still been puzzling over the statement uttered by the first child.
Asuka's sharp tone surprised him a bit. "Who cares what she says! She's strange and so is that boy. We get to go to class with two dolls instead of one now!"
Shinji wanted to protest that Kaworu didn't seem to be like Rei because he behaved more openly... But he thought better of it. Kaworu hadn't shown any emotion either, in fact if he had no expression, like Rei, he would've thought them more similar. The difference was that Kaworu always seemed to smile, but Shinji didn't know if there was any soul in him.
"He said he was an Eva pilot" Shinji said quietly.
"If he is, he'll probably be a shit pilot, like Wonder-girl"
"But there are only three Evas so maybe he's a fill-in in case one of us... gets hurt."
"Obviously no one believes we can be decent pilots" Asuka huffed. She was apparently finished with the conversation because she announced what she was ordering to him. Shinji, unable to decide what he wanted, gave in and ordered the same thing.
After their meal was finished and paid for, the two, still in their school uniforms, walked together along the sidewalk. It was dark out but the streets were well-lit. Their stroll home was rather quiet, but then, neither of them ever really cared about filling the air with conversation. When they got to the apartment, the door was unlocked and they stepped inside, taking off their shoes.
Shinji was in bed a while later, lying sprawled across the mattress and gazing upwards with half open eyes. He was still preoccupied with the prospect of death or serious injury among the pilots. It was a wonder it hadn't yet happened, really. Piloting was dangerous. He shut his eyes and fading from the darkness inside his head was Asuka lying in a comatose state in a hospital bed... He quickly banished the image.
As Kaworu had said, it was revealed that he was in fact, an Eva pilot. The very next day at Nerv, Kaworu synchronized with Unit 00 without the least bit of trouble. His sync ratio was unusually high. News of this travelled around Nerv quickly and it was spoken of uneasily. Kaworu seemed to be like Rei, taking little interest in the world around him. In class he achieved high marks, always gave the right answer when called upon... but he hadn't made any friends.
Several weeks went by. Shinji was still in his plugsuit, and happened to notice his father standing on a ledge, leaning against the railing and speaking. Shinji was in a hallway but the windows gave him a view of the holding area where Unit 01 was kept. He slowed his walk as he was passing, looking out at his father. Gendo Ikari seemed to be conversing with the Eva. The boy stopped walking then, staring out the window in bewilderment. The Evas weren't aware; they were robots as far as Shinji knew. So it was odd.
Kaworu was strolling down the same hallway, eyes turned to the floor when he spotted movement ahead of him. Glancing up, he was a little surprised to see Shinji there, since tests had ended over an hour ago and the boy usually made a beeline home right after. Kaworu hadn't spoken directly with the third child since his first day of school. Shinji hadn't seemed terribly interested in him and to Kaworu he didn't particularly stand out from any other human being on the planet.
Still, he approached Shinji, going unheard by him until Shinji noticed a second face reflecting in the window as he gazed out of it. He jumped and whirled around, seeing Kaworu behind him, smiling as he usually did. There was something empty about his smile, Shinji had always thought...
"N-Nagisa" Shinji breathed, unsure of whether to feel relieved or not that it was simply the other boy there.
"Is that your father out there?" Kaworu asked, glancing around Shinji and out the window where Gendo was still engaged in his one-sided conversation.
Shinji nodded, looking rather glum. "Yeah..."
"The two of you don't exchange many words..." Kaworu observed, tilting his head upwards slightly. Shinji's dark blue eyes glanced at the floor.
"I don't really care about him" Shinji responded, flatly. Shinji had been wary of Kaworu at Asuka's advice. He'd never really obeyed the girl before, but he felt uneasy around Kaworu so it gave him an excuse to avoid him. Thankfully, Kaworu didn't seem visibly distraught over it; in fact, he seemed quite content to avoid Shinji up until this moment.
Kaworu turned then, his movements silent and graceful as usual. It made Shinji think of a dancer, how he could move so flawlessly. "I'll see you later, Ikari."
The other boy hesitated, his eyes darting around. "W-wait. Where are you going?"
Kaworu stopped walking but remained with his back facing Shinji. "To take a shower."
"You're here pretty late..." Shinji said quietly. "Did they keep you around for extra tests? I heard your sync ratio is pretty high..." His face reddened slightly.
"Yes. They did." Kaworu chuckled a bit and continued walking.
Shinji glanced out the window once more, deciding then and there that he'd be Kaworu any day rather than watch his father talking to nothing. He hurried to catch up to the pale boy who'd already gone far down the hall. "I'll come with you!" Shinji said once they were walking side by side.
Kaworu closed his eyes, smiling. "If you wish."
The showers were lined up in stalls with curtains separating them. The shower room was empty when the two of them walked in. Kaworu went over to his locker, peeling off his plugsuit and taking a towel from his locker. He hung the plugsuit from a hook where several other plugsuits hung. Shinji, through all this, managed to take in the other boy's lean, ivory-skinned form before he forced himself to look away. He blushed, knowing he'd been looking far longer than he should have. Really, he shouldn't have looked at all but Kaworu hadn't exactly given him a warning beforehand.
Only until Kaworu was safely gone into one shower stall, did Shinji timidly undress himself and go into the shower beside Kaworu's. He turned on the water and it cascaded downwards, hot and steamy. It was a welcoming feeling against his tensed muscles. The steam rose up from his shower and everything around him became cloudy and humid. He let out a sigh, not heard over the running water. He glanced towards Kaworu's shower but couldn't see the other's silhouette through the curtain. They were thick curtains, he supposed. Did he really have any desire to see the outline of the other boy's body?
As if on cue, the curtains were whipped back without warning and Kaworu near invited himself in to Shinji's personal space. Alarmed, the boy pressed himself back against the other curtain without falling over, eyes wide and blushing with embarrassment. Kaworu smiled as he usually did but he also looked a little puzzled. "Ikari-san, may I borrow your soap?"
Kaworu wasn't modest in the least way. But then, why did he need to be? He seemed as flawless in his appearance as a doll. There wasn't a scar or freckle to be seen. His skin was pale and even. His hair was hanging damply in his face. Shinji was much more modest. Reaching with a trembling hand, he grasped the soapy white bar and prayed it wouldn't slip from him. He placed it in Kaworu's outstretched hand. His flawless hand.
Kaworu grinned, showing his teeth. "Thank you."
"Y-y-yeah" Shinji answered, nodding quickly. Kaworu disappeared back behind the curtain. That was... too much.
Kaworu wandered out of the showers soon after, stark naked, towel drying his hair and humming a tune familiar to Shinji. The third child had retreated to the lockers and had hurriedly dressed himself though he was still soaking wet. Kaworu poked his head around the corner. "Ikari-san?"
"Yes?" Shinji asked, closing the locker with a deliberate slam.
"It's pretty late, almost completely dark outside..."
"I guess."
"I live nearby. You're welcome to stay the night at my apartment if you like."
Shinji tensed at the offer then looked in bewilderment at Kaworu. He'd walked to his own locker, taking out his clothes to change into. Shinji blushed again. "I don't know... I don't want to be a bother."
"If it was a bother, I wouldn't have offered" Kaworu replied, looking mildly confused. "I want to get to know you better. We'll be working closely together you know."
Shinji was a little afraid of new people and Kaworu wasn't any acceptation. However, Shinji couldn't deny that he was intrigued by this boy and wanted to learn about him if he could. Perhaps they could be friends... As far as Eva pilots went, Shinji had been the only boy. Rei seemed disconnected from the world and Asuka was incredibly moody. That there was a pilot who was a boy and also emotionally stable was a welcome change for Shinji. Emotionally stable, he was not.
"I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you" Kaworu added, as an afterthought. "So late at night, so dark... And you don't live very close by do you? So will you come? Or won't you?"
"I... I..." Shinji fidgeted under the crimson gaze. "Okay..."
Kaworu and Shinji arrived at Kaworu's apartment and it was dark by that time. When Kaworu opened the door, Shinji couldn't help but gape at the barrenness of the place. It was a one-room apartment besides the bathroom. The entire room was only a little bigger then the one Shinji slept in at his own place. A few boxes were tucked away in the corners but other than that, Kaworu seemed to own very few material possessions aside from his bed.
"You just moved in, right?" Shinji asked as they took off their shoes and stepped inside.
"Yes."
"It's nice..."
"Mm. Are you hungry, Ikari-san? I don't have a kitchen but I can run right across the street to the store and get you something." Kaworu seemed eager to please his guest. Shinji was a little taken aback by the offer and he knew right away that he couldn't accept.
"I'm fine, thanks" he responded, politely as he could. "It is kinda late... I'll probably just go to sleep..."
"Alright." Kaworu strode over to the closet, pulling out a sleeping bag, the only apparent thing there besides a few towels. He rolled it out next to the bed and plucked a pillow down next to it. But then Kaworu did a strange thing. He himself got into the sleeping bag. Shinji stood over him, awkwardly.
"Nagisa-san, you really shouldn't sleep on the floor. It's your place, you know. I'm the one intruding."
"It's alright for me here," the ash-haired boy answered, tucking his slender, pale arms behind his head. His eyes seemed alight at that moment. Shinji sat quietly on the bed. He didn't have any pyjamas and neither did Kaworu so he deemed it alright to sleep in his clothes. He slid between the sheets, finding it hard at first to relax. The room was dark, but street lights from outside shone in to illuminate the room enough to see a little. Shinji could see Kaworu's dark form on the floor. He lay quietly in the bed, looking at the unfamiliar ceiling.
"Ikari..." Kaworu spoke, his voice a little gentler than before. The boy on the bed turned and looked at him, questioningly. "You don't have to be formal with me. I want you to call me Kaworu. If that's alright..."
"Kaworu... Then... you can just call me Shinji, okay?" was the response. Kaworu chuckled a bit.
"Those who are delicate bruise easily..." Kaworu said. Then he turned over to sleep.
A scream. A shrill scream inside his head.
"Asuka!" He charged towards the fallen girl who had somehow been torn from her Evangelion and lay bleeding on the barren wasteland. Shinji knelt next to her, scooping her up. The girl was unconscious, her head falling back limply. "Wake up!" Shinji urged her. "Please, Asuka!"
The color seemed to drain from the world and Shinji's vision stretched and tilted, making him dizzy. Rei walked towards him, her movements stiff and unnatural. Shinji watched her approach, an increasing feeling of dread inside him. She was wearing her plugsuit and bandages covered most of her.
"Ikari" she said in her light, wispy voice. She raised her hands, gently pulling away at her bandages. The boy regarded her in fear and then jerked his head away. Beneath the bandages was something awful he didn't want to look at... But eventually he did. He slowly turned, unable to do anything but look. His face twisted into a look of horror. Rei stood there, half Rei anyways. The other half, the half that had been bandaged, was Yui Ikari, his mother. Her skin was melted and bubbling, merged to Rei in a disgusting, throbbing mass. Yui's one eye was gone, leaving only a bloody socket.
"M-mother?" Shinji squeaked, his voice threatening to break.
"Shinjiiii..." the voice was low, inhuman. It gurgled like it was beneath waves. The hideous creature, half Rei and half Yui lurched closer to him. One bloody arm and one good arm slowly encircled his neck.
"You're not-!" Shinji gasped, terror in his voice. "No... NO!"
Shinji scrambled upwards, the sheets somewhat constricting him. He panted, sweating and frightened. His mind raced with the images and he couldn't be sure of where he was. Panic rose in him. It was dark. That creature could be in the darkness, waiting for him. He whimpered in terror, wriggling down under the covers and trying to disappear. There was a rustle nearby and Shinji's breathing became ragged. Someone put a hand against his shoulder. Shinji squeezed his eyes shut and screamed.
"Shinji!" Kaworu's voice sounded deeply concerned and urgent. The voice was familiar and Shinji ripped his covers from his face to gaze up at Kaworu's shadowy form.
"I-it wasn't Rei... wasn't mother..." Shinji panted. "Kaworu... pl...please..."
"It was only a nightmare, Shinji," Kaworu assured him. He reached out a hand, tenderly brushing a few strands of hair from Shinji's clammy forehead. It didn't seem logical to Shinji that he'd been dreaming. He never remembered falling asleep. He sat up, shaking his head furiously in protest. But his logical self began to kick in and within seconds he was aware it had been just a dream and nothing more.
"God... it was so real to me..." Shinji whispered, brokenly. He felt like crying but such a thing he wouldn't allow himself to do in front of Kaworu. The other boy pulled the covers aside a bit and Shinji automatically slid over. Kaworu got into bed with him, wriggling into the space.
"Don't worry," Kaworu said softly. "I'll let nothing bad ever happen to you, Shinji... Believe me." He didn't hug him or touch him because he was aware that Shinji wasn't comfortable being so close to another. He smiled gently. "I love you."
"...What?" Shinji asked. "You love me...?"
He didn't remember much after that because he drifted off to sleep again.
