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AN: You won't like Marissa in the upcoming chapters, but don't run for the hills. Conflict is building, so bad stuff is bound to pile on as well…it kinda comes with the territory. My point is that I like her, I'm not trying to bash her, I just see her reacting this way. But don't worry, ALL my characters eventually go through huge changers during the story, so stick with me. Anyway, I just wrote out my plan for the next seven chapters, and holy crap I can't wait to get going. Thanks to Beachtree for continuing to be my rock. You posed many interesting questions, my friend. Just wait and see…all will be answered in time. Anyway, people have been slacking with the reviews…if you read, REVIEW PLEASE! It makes me write faster, swear to God. Anyway, enjoy!

FADING – Chapter 12

Wednesday Afternoon

"Sorry…that wasn't the right thing to say, was it?" Luke asked lamely, glancing awkwardly at Seth. He scratched at a tanned arm, his gaze wandering around the room from one set of eyes to the other. "Sorry, Chino. I'm an ass with words when it comes to situations like this."

Seth rolled his eyes. "Just situations like this?" He muttered under his breath. "And only with words?"

Ryan shot him a glare. "It's ok, Luke." He assured the blond-haired boy. He released Marissa and stepped forwards to knock knuckles with his friend. "Good to see you, man. How's your summer been so…"

Luke surprised him by pulling him into a hug.

Seth wanted to laugh at the look of surprise on Ryan's face once he was released. "…Far."

"I couldn't believe it when my mom told me. She heard from some Newpsie at spinning or something…I had to come over and see for myself." He gave Ryan a look of concern as he studied him up and down. "You do kinda look like death though, man." He said reluctantly. At the disapproving look Marissa shot him, he held up his hands defensively. "I'm just sayin' is all."

Ryan cracked a smile "Yeah, I know I do." He relented. After a moment he sat back down in his seat, and Marissa made a spot for herself half on his lap. Seth was the only one who saw the pain that lined Ryan's eyes at the action, and every fiber of his being wanted to yell at her to get off. But Ryan wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. "So…how did word get around so fast?" He asked wearily. "I only found out a couple days ago." His voice took on that quiet quality that meant he was uncomfortable.

Luke shrugged as he took off his jacket and flopped down onto the sofa beside Seth, giving the other boy a playful punch to the shoulder. "Dunno, don't care." He shrugged, tossing his hair when it fell into his eyes. "What does it matter? One Newpsie caught wind of it and then it was gone from there. It's old news, man." He grinned at the others around the room. "So what's up?"

Seth couldn't help but laugh at the boy's unwavering cheerfulness, a stupefied but friendly and contagious smile on his face. "Not much, man…we've all just pretty much been slumming it so far." Seth offered up when no one else made an attempt to answer. The other choice bits of news that came to mind all involved Ryan, illness, and hospitals. So Seth decided to steer clear of those. "What have you been up to so far?" He asked conversationally.

"Oh, you know. The usual. Got out to the beach, did some surfing…my dad and I took a boat trip out to Catalina. Danced with some honeys, had a few beers, wrote a few songs by campfire…" Luke shrugged nonchalantly. "Haven't really had time yet to do much." He said with a sigh, resting his feet on the coffee table.

Marissa smirked. "Yeah, sounds like it." She said sarcastically.

Not catching on, Luke just nodded. "Yep…that's why I'm here." He folded his hands behind his head and looked at his friends expectantly. "I'm bored, man! We need to do something. Go out. Get into trouble. There's not much really to do in this town, sure, but…I'm getting desperate."

Seth rolled his eyes. "Gee, thanks, buddy."

"Going out does sound good, though." Marissa piped up, cocking her head to one side thoughtfully. She looked down at Ryan hopefully, her fingers playing with his hair. "We definitely need to get out of the house. A change of scenery." She looked around for help. But Seth and Summer glanced at her with matching looks of disapproval that she didn't catch on to. "Even if it's just to the pier…at least to get Ryan out of this place. Some fresh air, a walk on the beach…"

When Ryan's eyes met Seth's with a silent cry for help, Seth looked at Marissa and shook his head. "Nah, the beach is highly overrated. Sun burns, crabs, sand gets…" Seth gulped, thinking quickly. "…in places. No. We're fine right here. We've got lots of food…and Playstation! Don't forget the video games!" He shouted.

Summer nodded furiously. "Yes! That's a good point!" she told her best friend knowingly.

Marissa's eyes narrowed. "You hate video games." She accused, and then shook her head. "Well then how about the mall? Or the Crab Shack? Come on, you guys…we need to get out of the house." She whined jokingly, kissing Ryan's cheek. Then she looked into his eyes curiously. "You're awfully quiet…don't you want to go somewhere?" she asked.

Ryan opened his mouth to reply, but words didn't come out fast enough.

"Uh, um…I hate the mall. And the Crab Shack…so sick of that place, don't get me started." Seth jumped in. "I'm cozy, I'm holed up for the day...I think we need to take some time for TLC, ya know? A little relaxation, some movies maybe…"

With another sigh and roll of her eyes, Marissa sat up. "Whatever." She muttered, standing up and walking out into the hallway. "I'm going to get something to drink." She tossed over her shoulder as she fled for the kitchen, Summer trotting after her.

"I'll have a Pepsi. No ice!" Luke called after her, grinning when he caught Seth staring at him dubiously. "Sup, Cohen?"

Seth bit back a laugh at his friend's confusion. "Luke Ward, you amaze me to no end." In his peripheral vision he saw Ryan stand up and steady himself briefly before slowly walking away. "Where you going, man?" Seth asked.

Ryan met his eyes briefly. "I need some air." He murmured, and left the room.

When he was gone, Seth sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He had thought that having their friends over would ease the tension in the Cohen house, maybe help them forget about sickness and cancer for a while. But it had turned out that instead Ryan was reminded that things weren't normal; they couldn't go out whenever they wanted to, or do the things they usually did for fun. And his girlfriend didn't understand why.

"Cohen…" Seth looked up to find Luke staring at him intently, his elbows resting on his knees as he leaned towards his friend with a look of seriousness and concern that wasn't usual for his normally upbeat personality. "How is Ryan? Really, I mean." He asked softly.

Seth folded his hands and sat back in his seat. He wondered what the correct answer to that question was. "Bad enough to not want to admit that he's not well enough to leave the house." Seth said finally, and Luke nodded solemnly in response. "The chemo takes a lot out of him and ever since we brought him home he's just been…" Seth's voice wavered and he stopped himself before he lost control of his emotions.

"Really sick, right?" Luke finished for him, his blue eyes understanding. "Puking non-stop, tired, aching…probably a bit of a pain in the ass attitude-wise, too." He chuckled humorlessly.

Brows furrowing in confusion, Seth stared at his friend. "How do you…?"

"My aunt had breast cancer." Luke explained remorsefully, his expression thoughtful. "She came to live with us for the last couple months…the chemo was what destroyed her. She died a couple years ago."

Bristling, Seth sat up a bit straighter and glared hard at Luke, his brown eyes flashing. "That's not going to happen to Ryan, though." He said quietly, but his voice was hard and stony.

Luke's eyes widened. "What? Dude, I-I didn't mean it like that, I didn't mean that Ryan was going to die, too." He shook his head briskly, backtracking. "I was just telling you…"

"Don't say that Ryan is going to die!" Seth said furiously, his voice rising a bit. He shot to his feet and his eyes blazed down at Luke, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. Seth hadn't realized that Summer and Marissa had reentered the room, having no doubt heard his slight outburst from the kitchen. "Just because it happened to your aunt doesn't mean it will happen to Ryan. He's going to be fine, we're taking care of him. Ryan is not going to die." He insisted emphatically, his throat feeling tight.

Marissa gasped in the doorway. "W-what?" she asked in shock, her voice a near whisper.

Luke got to his feet as well and raised his hands in front of himself defensively. "Marissa…Cohen, I didn't mean it like that, I swear." He pleaded with them, trying to calm both of his friends down.

"Then why did you say it?" Seth asked between tightly clenched teeth.

He felt a soft hand on his shoulder. It was Summer. "Cohen…" She said softly, gaining his attention. Her wide brown eyes gently willed him to back off. "Calm down. You know that's not what he meant." She pleaded with him quietly.

Seth took a step back and a deep breath. Running a hand through his curly hair, he glanced at Luke's apologetic eyes and Marissa's tear-stained face once more before spinning on his heel. "I'm gonna go find Ryan." He said, and left them alone.


Seth found Ryan in the bathroom down the hall. The door had been shut, but Ryan had been too busy throwing up to answer him when Seth called his name. So he pushed it open to find his foster brother, for the second time that day, heaving violently into the toilet. Even though he had nothing left in him.

Swallowing hard, Seth took a few hesitant steps forward and placed a gentle hand on the other boy's shoulder. "You…you okay, man?" He asked softly. It was a stupid question; of course Ryan wasn't okay. But he didn't know what else he was supposed to say.

Ryan took a couple of deep breaths. "Just leave me alone, Seth." He begged weakly, struggling to breathe through the nausea.

Seth pushed aside the hurt at those words and slowly shook his head. "I can't do that, Ry. I'm sorry." He gently squeezed Ryan's shoulder, reaching over to flush the toilet for him. "You think you're ready to try one of those Compazine pills, see if they make a dent?" He offered helpfully. He didn't know exactly what he was supposed to do, but he did know that Ryan had to stop throwing up. There was nothing left in his stomach, and sooner or later he was going to get severely dehydrated.

Keeping his eyes squeezed shut, Ryan shook his head.

"C'mon, man." Seth tried desperately. "It's gotta be better than heaving all the time. I'll get them, okay? They're just in the kitchen, I'll be right back…"

"Seth, I don't want any." Ryan said as loudly as he could. "They make me feel worse instead of better…I can't keep them down, anyway." His voice dropped to a whisper at the last part.

Seth wanted to argue. But he knew that if he did he'd just be pushing Ryan further and further away. So reluctantly, he backed down. "At least have something to drink, Ryan. You've got nothing in you, bud." He started to fill a glass from the sink. "Try some water, or I can get you some ginger ale from the fridge if you want."

Ryan shook his head again. "I don't want anything." His tone was pleading.

Seth sighed, running a hand through his curly hair. He wasn't cut out for this. His parents would know what to do. But he couldn't back down. He had to let Ryan know that he was not going to back down. "Then what do you want to do, Ry?" He asked gently.

Laying his head on his arms, Ryan just sighed. "Sit here…for awhile." He murmured tiredly.

His heart breaking, Seth swallowed over the lump that had formed in his throat and leaned against the wall. "Okay." He murmured quietly, sliding down until he was sitting on the ground beside his best friend. "Then I'll sit here with you."

Ryan blinked at him a few times. "You don't have to…

"I know that." Seth interjected, folding his hands on his knees. "I want to."

Seeming to accept that as an answer, Ryan relented and closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Seth heard voices outside, and realized he had left the door ajar. Peeking out into the hall he could see Summer facing Marissa, her posture defensive.

"Coop, he's okay, really." Summer was saying to a nearly hysterical Marissa. "He's been like this all morning…the chemo makes him sick, sweetie. He'll be fine in awhile." She tried to assure her.

Marissa wiped at her tears. "How is this okay, Summer? I come out here and they're talking about Ryan dying! Dying, Summer. This is far from okay." She cried. "You knew this? You knew how sick he was and you didn't tell me?"

Summer tried to calm her down, speaking in a low voice. "Marissa, I just didn't want to worry you." She soothed. "He seemed better a while ago, it seemed like he was having a good day. And I just thought if I told you that maybe you…" She wisely didn't finish her sentence.

Eye's wide, Marissa stepped towards her. "What, you thought that if I knew he was really sick that I wouldn't come? That I wouldn't be able to handle it? Is that what you thought, Summer?" her voice was near shouting now as she shook her head, tears tracking down her cheeks.

At that point Seth pushed the door shut, glancing at Ryan worriedly. But his brother's expression was unreadable. His eyes were still closed and he sat hunched over, barely able to keep himself upright. But Seth saw the muscles in his jaw tense.

Summer's voice floated in through the door. "Coop, I didn't say that."

"Yeah, but you were going to." Marissa shot back angrily. Then there was a pause, and Seth found himself holding his breath. "I'm out of here." Marissa's voice said quietly, followed by footsteps clattering away in the opposite direction.

Silence followed. Seth looked at Ryan, his eyes full of concern. He had known that something like this would happen. One way or another, Marissa Cooper had once again worked her magic. "Ryan…"

"I'm fine." Came the automatic answer.

Heaving a sigh, Seth nodded. "Of course you are." He muttered under his breath.

There was a knock on the door. "You guys okay in there?" Luke's worried voice asked from the other end. "You need me to do anything?"

Seth smiled a little at Ryan, but his brother did not reciprocate it. So instead he scooted across the floor and sat close beside him. "You ready to get out of here, man? I've seen just about enough of this bathroom for one day." He said lightly. When Ryan nodded, Seth looked back towards the door. "Yeah, we're coming out, Luke." He called back, and stood up, reaching down help his brother to his feet.

Ryan lifted his head and pulled his arm away. "I can do it." He protested weakly.

Biting back a remark, Seth forced himself to go slow; rushing either of them would only force them farther apart. "I don't doubt that you can, bro. But humor me. Let me help you up." He said with a smile, wrapping an arm around Ryan's torso and lifting him to his feet. "Do me a personal favor."

Once standing, Ryan pulled away and squared his shoulders. "Do me a favor and stop treating me like a baby." He shot back, blue eyes blazing on a pale face.

Seth held up his hands. "Sorry."

Ryan turned his back on Seth for a moment and leaned heavily against the counter, his head bowed, his eyes closed. "Don't…don't apologize." He said softly, his voice almost a whisper. "I know you're just trying to help…I'm sorry." His eyes blinked sluggishly a couple times and we wavered on his feet, gripping onto the tiled slate counter tightly

Seth's heart jumped. "Ryan, you okay?" He asked worriedly, laying a hand on his brother's arm. "Come on back into the livingroom, man. You need to sit down. Marissa's gone, and…"

"Marissa…" Ryan whispered, what little color in his face draining away before Seth's very eyes as he watching his friend's reflection worriedly in the mirror. "I…" Without warning Ryan's eyes rolled back and his knees buckled. Within seconds, he was falling towards the floor.

Reacting fast, Seth caught his brother around the waist, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. "Ryan…Ry, answer me, man." Panic raced through his veins as Seth struggled to keep them bother upright. Ryan had gone completely limp in his arms, his eyes closed, his face ghostly pale. He wasn't moving. "Oh my God…Luke!" He shouted.

The door burst open and slammed against the wall with an explosive bang and instantly Luke was there as he slung one of Ryan's arms around his neck and wrapped a well-muscled one of his own around the unconscious teen's waist. "Let's get him to the couch." Luke demanded, and together they carried their friend out of the room.

They found Summer sitting by herself on an overstuffed armchair back in the living room, staring at her hands and twirling a strand of hair around her finger nervously. When she heard them enter, she looked up and gasped, a hand flying to her mouth. "Oh my God, what happened to him?" She asked in shock, rushing to help as they lowered Ryan's immobile form to the couch.

"I don't know, I don't know. One minute he was telling me to leave him alone, the next he just turned all pasty." Seth rambled, his voice shaking fearfully as he was unable to take his eyes off his foster brother's still features. "Then he just fell over. I don't know what's wrong…I don't know what we should do…"

"Seth, calm down. You're panicking." Summer placed both her hands firmly on his shoulders and made him look her in the eye. Seth could tell that she was struggling to maintain her own sanity, as well. "I'm going to go get your dad, okay?" She explained hurriedly, and fled the room.

Seth gulped for air, realizing that he'd be of little help if he hyperventilated and ended up passing out himself. Looking down he saw Luke kneeling beside Ryan's prone form, squeezing his arm with his fingers and watching his skin intently. "What are you doing?"

Luke ignored him. "Cohen, when the hell was the last time Ryan had something to drink?" he asked, his tone serious.

Seth shook his head. "I-I don't know, I mean…he hasn't been able to keep even water down all morning, and he said he'd been sick like that all night…" Staring at the back of Luke's head, Seth's mind raced to keep up. "Why…why, what's wrong with him?"

At that point Ryan's eyelids fluttered and he let out a low moan, weakly bringing up a hand to his head. Seth breathed a heavy sigh of relief as his brother's blue eyes opened to slits, looking up at his friends in bleary confusion. "Wh…what happened?" he asked weakly.

"Chino, when was the last time you drank something?" Luke asked instantly, eyes burning holes into Ryan's. After several moments of silence, Luke shook his shoulder roughly. "Ryan! Answer me." He demanded.

Ryan shrugged. "I don't…know." He said softly, barely able to hold his eyes open. "A while, I guess…I don't feel so good." He moaned, rolling onto his side.

Luke shot to his feet and was already taking long strides to the kitchen. "That's because you're dehydrated, you stupid kid." Luke chided, returning a few seconds later with a glass of water. "I know you feel sick, and putting something in your stomach is probably always gonna be the last thing on your mind, but if you don't drink something this," he gestured down at him, "happens." Kneeling back down, he put a hand under Ryan's back and lifted him up into a slight sitting position. "Drink this. Don't complain or I'll kick your ass. And you know I can."

Doing as he was told, Ryan couldn't help but smile slightly over the rim of the glass. "I'd…kill you." He said exhaustedly when he was done.

Luke grinned. "Not like this, you wouldn't." He said as he helped his friend lie back down. Then his eyes turned serious again. "Better?" He asked worriedly.

Ryan nodded, turning his head into a throw cushion. "Mmhmm." He mumbled.

Some of the tensed up ball of panic in Seth's stomach began to unwind, and he shared a grateful look with Luke. Leaning down, he placed a gentle hand on his best friend's chest. "Take a nap, bro." He said softly, watching as Ryan's breathing evened out before their eyes. "We'll be here."

Moments later Summer's heels hammered down the hall as she came storming back into the room. "Cohen, your…"

Seth held a finger to his lips and pointed to Ryan.

"Sorry." Summer whispered, coming to stand beside them as they looked down at Ryan's sleeping form. "He looks better…Cohen, what I was trying to say is that your dad isn't here."

Forehead creasing in shock, Seth gaped at his girlfriend. "What?"

Summer just shook her head. "He's not in the house, the Beamer isn't in the drive way." Tucking her hair behind her ears, Summer brushed a few strands of Ryan's bangs off his forehead. When she saw him shiver she pulled an afghan off the back of the couch and draped it over him, tucking it in gently. "I guess he left for work and just didn't tell you." She offered.

Seth shook his head, his expression pained. "Why the hell would he do that? It doesn't make any sense…At least freakin' tell me he's leaving, so that I know I'm in charge if there's an emergency, which you all quite clearly saw I am not cut out for." He took a couple of deep breaths before plowing on. "I don't get my dad…when Ryan was first in the hospital, he was Ice Man…he didn't help out, he was just scared shitless. Then for one night he transforms into Wonder Dad, pulling an all-nighter and hovering around Ryan like I don't know what…now he's hiding at his office again."

Luke shrugged. "Sometimes parents have meltdowns, too." He reasoned, sitting down in a chair across from the couch Ryan was sleeping on. "They can't be perfect all the time." He said, cocking his head to one side.

Seth stared at him. "That was so noble of you, Luke." He said sarcastically. "But my dad said he would change. I heard him one night crying. Crying! My dad does not cry. But there he was pouring his heart out to Ryan while he was asleep. And he told him, I heard him promise him, that he would not leave him alone through this. And look what he's doing." In a huff, Seth slumped down to sit on the coffee table, his head resting in his hands.

"Cohen, maybe it's not like that at all." Summer said, placing a soothing hand on his back. "Maybe he said goodbye and we didn't hear him, or…maybe he was just trying to give Ryan back a little independence. Just don't jump to conclusions is all I'm saying."

Seth looked at her, but shook his head. "I don't know. I don't care. It wasn't right." He sighed, his eyes wandering back to Ryan's sleeping face. "I never thought I'd say this, but thank God Luke was here, because I sure as hell wouldn't have known what to do."

Luke shrugged and took the attempt at praise anyway. "Just be grateful that it was something minor." He said. "Dehydration at this point is one thing…he was just too stubborn to drink anything. It can get to the point where it's physically impossible for him to keep water down. That's when you can't help at all…and they have to be taken to the hospital." He said sadly, his eyes thoughtful.

Summer was staring at him in surprise and confusion, so Seth filled her in. "Luke, as it turns out, is up on his cancer."

"Shut up, Cohen." Luke growled half-heartedly. Then he grinned slightly. "You were no help, dude. I thought I was going to be carrying two bodies to the couch at one point." he giggled at Seth's scowling face.

Seth crossed his arms. "Okay, we've established that I'm useless in an emergency, let's move on." He grouched, glaring across at the blond-haired boy. Then his eyes flashed and he looked at Luke curiously. "Hey…how did you know that he was dehydrated, anyway?"

"Soccer. You know, it's that trick they teach you about how quickly the color returns to your skin when you touch it…" He trailed off and smiled at Seth mockingly. "Oh, sorry, Cohen. I forgot that you're not really the athletic type." Luke laughed.

"Shut up, I'll have you know I am very skilled at crochet…"

Summer's voice interrupted their argument. "You guys…look." She said, drawing their attention as she pointed to a pink leather purse partially hidden underneath a sofa cushion. "Marissa left it. She was in such a hurry to leave." She said sadly as she reached down and grasped the handles, hefting it onto her lap. The latch was undone, and the flap that held it closed fell open, exposing the contents. "She really didn't mean to be like that, you guys. This is really hard on her, and…" Summer's voice trailed off as their eyes fell on the inside of the purse.

There, on top of tubes of lipstick, compact mirrors and a set of keys was a half-empty bottle of vodka.


AN: I hope you liked it, but DAMMIT REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! I haven't been getting enough lately. Next chapter: Sandy faces the wrath of a protective Kirsten and an angry Seth! Marissa goes too far...a sick Ryan has to get Seth out of a jam, and ends up needing rescuing himself...can't wait? Me neither! Cheers, REVIEW!

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