AN: This took a little longer than expected because I experienced a few days of writer's block. It was extremely annoying. But one way or another, I give you chapter twenty. Kind of a milestone, the twenty chapter mark. Thank you so much to my faithful reviewers, I love you one and all. Read, review, and enjoy!
FADING – Chapter Twenty
Wednesday Night
Taking in the sounds of vegetables sizzling over the hot coals of the barbecue, and the waves crashing against the distant shore, Sandy turned over a skewer with the metal tongs he held in his hand and breathed in the aroma of their soon-to-be supper.
He couldn't remember the last time he had been out here preparing a meal. With the craziness that overcome their house over the last month, take-out had become the norm of family dinners. Not that ordering in wasn't the main form of nutrition in the Cohen household, but Sandy actually enjoyed the rare occasions when he got to cook. It was oddly soothing.
Sandy heard his wife coming before he actually saw her. "Hey, sweetie." She greeted hurriedly as she flew by.
"Whoa, whoa." He called, closing the barbecue and turning around to face her. Kirsten was walking quickly across the patio with a nylon encased hanger in her hand. "Are you coming or going?" He asked.
Brushing her hair from her eyes, Kirsten gave him a look of confusion. "What do you mean?" She asked, halting her stride completely and walking towards him.
"Well, I just got home an hour ago and I feel like you've been on the move ever since." He complained, holding his hands out to her until she smiled and came closer. She set down her garment on the counter and wrapped her arms around his back. "What's got you running around so much? The only times I've seen you this frazzled are when it involves your…" Sandy trailed off as he caught the guilty look in her blue eyes. "Oh, honey. What did he do now? I thought we were over this."
Kirsten sighed. "So did I." She relented, and rested her cheek against his shoulder. "But tomorrow night is his birthday party." She sounded more tired than she did after a day of work.
Sandy waited. "And…?" He looked down at her expectantly.
Releasing him, Kirsten moved to lean beside him beside the barbecue, her arms crossed wearily across her chest. "And…Ryan is insisting we go." She sighed again and stared down at her hands, absently twisting her wedding band on her ring finger.
"He found out you quit, didn't he?" Sandy realized, gazing at his wife sympathetically. No wonder she looked so down. One way or another, it hadn't been a good day for his wife. When she just nodded, he wrapped an arm around her slender shoulders. "Honey, it was only a matter of time before he figured it out. We shouldn't have pretended any differently in the first place." His eyebrows furrowed together. "But why on earth would Ryan want to go to your father's birthday party? Ryan's not exactly a fan of parties…or Caleb Nichol, for that matter. That's like if I wanted to go shopping with Julie Cooper." He shuddered at the thought.
Kirsten shook her head. "It's a long story. But Ryan basically accused me of choosing him over my dad. And it made him really upset." She bit her lip and her eyes got distant. The she gave herself a visible shake and wrapped her arms around his waist, her eyes flashing with amusement. "But you'd better get over your fear of Julie by tomorrow night, because she's the one hosting."
Raising his eyes skyward, Sandy groaned. "I should have guessed." He bemoaned. "And I suppose I have to wear a jacket and tie?" he whined, fixing her with puppy-dog eyes.
"That would be preferable." She chuckled, nodding towards the garment bag she had abandoned. "I had to get my new dress tailored. God forbid I wear something Julie has seen more than once." She said sarcastically.
Quirking an eyebrow, Sandy grinned. "Color?"
Kirsten's eyes sparkled. "Red."
"Oh, honey." Sandy drawled, pulling her closer. "Maybe this party thing isn't such a bad idea after all." He captured her lips in a kiss as she threw her arms around his neck and sighed her contentment.
A door closed and they heard a sound of disgust. "Ugh! Mom, dad, get a room!" Seth pleaded, throwing a hand across his eyes as Sandy reluctantly loosened his hold on his wife. Seth peeked between his fingers and then shook his head. "On second thought, don't. I so don't need that visual."
Sandy threw an oven mitt at the teenager's head. "What do you want, son?" he asked impatiently.
"Well, father, now that you ask." Seth returned playfully, stepping closer and nodding towards the barbecue at his parents' backs. "Ryan and I are getting hungry…well, no, actually I'm getting hungry, and would like to know when we can expect dinner to be served?" He asked hopefully.
Sandy thought he'd smelled something burning. "Shit!" he exclaimed, and whirled around to throw open the steel cover and stare down at the blackened food in dismay. He gave his wife a withering look. "Aw, Kirsten. You distracted me." He sighed.
Seth's eyes widened accusingly. "Mom! I thought I told you. Stay at least ten feet away from any food preparation areas at all times!" he exclaimed, shaking his head as if disgusted.
"Thank you for the vote of confidence, Seth." Kirsten sneered, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Is that everything or do you have more insults you need to share?" She mocked, tilting her head to one side.
With a proud grin, Seth blinked slowly and shook his head. "Nope. That will be all for now." He turned on his heel and took several steps towards the kitchen doors before he stopped and started walking back across the patio. He faced both parents and clapped his hands together uncomfortably. "Actually, there was something I wanted to…ask you about." He said slowly.
Sandy looked up from plucking the charred skewers from the griddle. "Yes?"
Seth glanced towards the main house as he spoke. "Well, since Ryan woke up this morning he's been doing pretty well, but he's kinda been coughing a lot…I don't know if you noticed or anything." He said uneasily, glancing between his two parents. "And its sort of seems like he's doing it a bit more now. I don't know, I just thought I should tell you." He pressed his lips together and turned his shoulders slightly towards the doors.
Kirsten smiled at him reassuringly. "I'm sure it's nothing, sweetie." She said, keeping her tone calm and warm. "I did notice. But I don't think it's anything to worry about. Thanks for telling us, though."
With a nod, Seth looked relieved. "No problem." He tossed over his shoulder as he started across the pavement. He flung open the doors and strolled inside. "Hey, Ryan! Mom screwed up dinner. Get the take-out menus…I'm thinkin' Thai."
Sandy waited until the doors to the kitchen shut before he looked at his wife. He saw the worry clearly in her eyes as she took in a deep breath and met his gaze. "I'll call Dr. Collins after supper." She said, then forced a smile and stood on her tip toes to kiss his cheek.
He watched her collect her things and walk back towards the house with growing feeling of unease rising in his stomach. Their last meeting with Dr. Collins had been tense. When he'd looked at their foster son he hadn't appeared happy. After treatment he'd taken another sample of Ryan's blood to be tested and they were still waiting on the results. Though the doctor hadn't said much, he had cryptically told them to watch Ryan carefully over the next couple weeks. The latest hit of chemo was evidently hitting the boy hard, and it was painfully obvious that he was concerned.
When Sandy took the plate containing the burnt remains of their dinner into the kitchen, he quickly located the trash under the sink and dumped it all into the garbage. He could hear Seth's cheerful voice talking to Ryan in the living room and started to follow.
Red dresses or not, a birthday party for Caleb was the farthest thing from his mind.
Kirsten finished pouring herself a glass of chardonnay and took a small, appreciative sip. Bracing both hands on the counter, she quickly made a mental checklist concerning the occupants of the house. Seth was in his room jabbering mindlessly to Summer on his phone, where he'd been for the past hour or so. Ryan was in bed early, had taken all his medicine, and managed to eat some of his dinner. Sandy…
"Honey, come in here!" The excited voice of her husband called to her from the living room. "Judge Judy is on, and she's making some poor bastard cry!"
Smirking, Kirsten picked up her wine and carried it with her as she followed his voice through to the couch. When he saw her he grinned broadly and pulled her down to his lap with two strong arms. "Hey." He said, kissing her warmly. "Everything okay?" He asked, nuzzling her neck.
Shrugging, Kirsten tilted her head. "With?" She asked.
"You." Sandy said simply, gazing at her with dark, thoughtful eyes. He brushed a strand of hair off her cheek with tender fingers. "You've been preoccupied all evening. Something still bothering you? Ryan? Your dad?"
Kirsten sighed and crossed her arms, leaning back against his solid chest. "Ryan should be fine. At least that's what Dr. Collins said." She murmured, her eyes flicking towards the screen of the television. "He said that when the cancer cells are collected at the spinal chord, like in Ryan's case, they can sometimes move to the throat and irritate the esophagus. Cause coughing." She finished nodding, returning her gaze to her husband's dark, troubled eyes. Kirsten forced a tight-lipped smile. "He said it's nothing serious, just annoying. Cough medicine works. And I'm bringing him in the day after tomorrow for a check up. Just to be sure."
Sandy sighed a little and tightened his hold around her waist, pulling her closer. "Well, regardless," he mumbled, kissing her forehead. "That doesn't sound pleasant."
With a nod, Kirsten's eyes lost focus and she found herself staring at the wall. "No." She replied, taking a sip from her wine glass. "It doesn't." she agreed.
They lapsed into silence for minutes on end. Staring down into the pale yellow liquid of her chardonnay, Kirsten's attention got caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts until a rough hand brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. "Honey?" Sandy said softly, and she looked up.
He just stared at her, looking so deeply into her eyes that she was sure he could see through to the other side of the room. Her vision blurring with tears that came out of nowhere, Kirsten opened her mouth to speak.
"Mom? Dad?" Stomping, teenager-like footsteps carried down the stairs and stopped at the landing.
Kirsten swiped hurriedly at her eyes and turned to look over the back of the couch. Seth stood at the entry way to the room looking at them curiously. "Sorry to…interrupt or anything." He mumbled suddenly, her son's eyes catching hers for a moment and flashing with confusion and concern.
"That's fine, Seth." Sandy replied, waving a hand. "What's up?"
Seth's eyes flicked between his two parents for a moment more before he relaxed and jerked his head towards the upper floor. "Ryan is like, horking up a lung in the guestroom." He said with a grimace. "Anything I can give him?" Her son asked with a shrug.
Just as she was opening her mouth, Sandy rested a hand on her thigh and got to his feet. "I'll go." He told her softly, leaning down to press a kiss to her hair. As he walked around the coffee table to the back of the couch, he offered a smile. "Robitussin okay?"
Kirsten nodded and returned his smile with an unsteady one of her own, and watched until her husband and son disappeared out of the room. With a sigh, she brought her wine glass to her lips and drained the last remnants from the bottom. The flickering of the TV caught her attention and she leaned across the couch for the remote control, turning it off.
When she was met with silence, she wrapped her arms around herself and bowed her chin to her chest, willing herself not to cry. She didn't have any reason to cry. As Dr. Collins had said, Ryan would be fine.
The sound of coughing carried down from the top floor. Kirsten flinched as the first set of tears squeezed out from behind her tightly closed eyes and trailed down her cheeks.
One day, things would go back to normal. But until then, she wasn't sure how much longer she could wait.
The next nightSeth was fumbling with his cufflinks when someone knocked on his bedroom door. With an exasperated sigh, Seth rolled his eyes and struggled to get the round piece of metal in place at his sleeve. "Dad, I told you! I'll be out in a minute." He shouted at the door. "Mom's the one you've got to worry about, anyway. We'll be stuck in this house until kingdom come while she does who knows what in the bathroom."
The door creaked open. "God, Cohen. Rude much?"
Looking up to see Summer step into the room as gracefully as one can in three inch heels, a grin stretched across his face as he crossed the distance to kiss her hello. "Hey." He smiled at her warmly. "I thought we were picking you up." He stepped back briefly to admire the low-cut black dress she was wearing, and grinned wider. "Not that I'm complaining." He drawled, and pulled her by the wrist towards his bed.
With a squeal, Summer fell beside him on the mattress. "Cohen!" she exclaimed, smacking his arm with her clutch and sitting up immediately, hesitantly patting her hair with her hand. "You have no idea how long it takes my hairdresser to get me looking like this." She pointed to her curly up-do.
"Don't know, don't care, my darling." Seth hauled himself up beside her and silenced her second rant with a kiss. "As long as this is the outcome, that's all I desire." After several long moments, he felt Summer give in with a small sigh, her arms wrapping around his neck as his lips descended upon the sensitive spot on her collar bone.
"Just don't wrinkle the dress, Cohen." She whispered, and leaned back against his pillows as Seth began lowering one of the thin, black straps down her shoulder.
Seth heard Ryan's slightly hoarse voice starting down the hall, slowly getting closer. "Hey Seth, can I borrow a tie?" He started asking as Seth pulled away from his girlfriend as quickly as he could, wiping lipstick from his mouth and straightening his collar as Summer yanked up the straps of her dress and lowered her skirt. "Your mom forgot one when she brought my suit up and if I go down to the pool house your parents will cross-examine me and…" the door pushed open and Ryan's pale face turned an amusing shade of red. "…Oh. Sorry." He mumbled.
Hopping to his feet, Seth fiddled with his own tie and gestured to his now forgotten unbuttoned sleeves. "Hey, man." He said, patting Ryan on the back. "Summer was just, uh…helping me put on my cufflinks." He quickly looked to Summer and gave her a silencing, wide-eyed look.
"Right." Ryan mumbled with a small grin. "If that's what they're calling it these days." He murmured under his breath, scratching his head and staring at his black dress shoes with rapt interest.
Summer rolled her eyes and pushed herself up into a standing position, one hand on her hip. She licked her lips and glared at Seth. "I'll wait downstairs." She informed them, stomping on Seth's toes as she made her way to the door. "If you two dipwads aren't ready to go in five minutes, I'm coming after you." She warned with one fist cocked. Then she spun around and disappeared from the room.
Ryan rubbed his chin and glanced at Seth apologetically. "Second time in two days, man." He mumbled, his expression guilty and slightly embarrassed. "I get the feeling I've been salting your game lately."
Seth made a face. "What? No way, dude." He scoffed, and threw open his closet doors and began his search for a tie that wouldn't clash with Ryan's black jacket and blue shirt combo. "That was just twice. You don't see what goes on behind the scenes, my friend. Our private sessions…now those last for hours on end. It's a miracle I don't walk like John Wayne." He said with a waggle of his eyebrows.
His foster brother looked mildly disgusted.
"Overshare?" Seth asked awkwardly.
"Definitely."
"Sorry about that." Seth grinned and held out a tie for Ryan to take. "Anyhow, I hope this won't geek up your outfit. Wouldn't want to ruin the Atwood image. If it does I could see what we have in the back, perhaps something a little darker, a little edgier." He said in his best Queer Eye for the Straight Guy impersonation.
Ryan glared at him and then smiled, focusing on the mirror as he lifted his collar and started to loop the tie around his neck. "This one will be fine, Seth." He said, and then sighed as he began to make the knot. "It's not like I actually care all that much how I look at Caleb Nichol's birthday party. The man despises me."
Rubbing a hand over his short hair, Seth studied the side of Ryan's face as the beginning of a blessedly short coughing fit began. "Then…if you don't mind my asking…" He began slowly and waited until Ryan quieted before he continued, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants. "Why are we even going, dude? I mean, no one in this house right now feels the burning desire to party it up as the meanest fossil in Newport gets another year older, least of all you. And yet you're the one pushing us all out the door on this one. I don't get it."
Tearing his eyes away from the process of knotting his tie, Ryan locked eyes with Seth and suddenly looked very serious. "Kirsten can't just alienate her dad because I'm sick, Seth." He said, like it was blatantly obvious.
"Yeah, I hear that." Seth murmured sarcastically, scratching his chin and matching his foster brother look for look, glare for glare. "Except it's her dad and it's up to her to decide when he's being an ass, and therefore show him she's pissed off, like by missing said birthday party." He pointed out, frustrated.
"We both know Caleb Nichol isn't going to apologize for anything that involves me, Seth." Ryan growled, ripping apart an attempted knot he had botched and starting fresh, practically scowling at his own reflection in the mirror. "And your mom's not just missing his birthday. She quit her job because of me. And so maybe this is just one party, but soon it will be more and then it will be something else, she'll see him less and less…" his hands stopped mid-movement and the look in his eye got very distant. "She can be as mad at him as she wants, but he's still her dad. One day she'll regret not having him in her life. And I couldn't take it if she looked back and remembered that it was all because of me." he finished, glancing at Seth briefly before resuming the process of passing thick material over thin in calculated, practiced motions.
Seth wasn't quite sure what to say. "Huh." He settled for instead, watching as Ryan's third attempt failed and his movements got more rough and agitated. Seth's eyebrows furrowed in concern as he watched his foster brother's hands shake furiously as his face screwed up with rage and he jerked the tie tightly around his neck. "You know Ry, the tie isn't trying to strangle you, man." He noted quietly.
"Could have fooled me." Ryan muttered, and then undid another completely askew knot with angry, fumbling fingers. "I don't even want to wear this stupid thing!" He growled suddenly, and tore it from his neck, heaving it across the room and was left standing in the middle of the floor, panting suddenly and coughing as he struggled to catch his breath.
"Then fuck the tie, Ryan." Seth stepped towards him and placed a calming hand on his friend's shoulder until Ryan's smoldering eyes died down a little. "Go open-collar. It's a good look. It'll piss my grandpa off possibly more than even our hair will."
Ryan's eyes narrowed. "Our hair?" He asked curiously.
Patting Ryan's back, Seth nodded knowingly. "Oh yes, Ryan. You see, bald people remind my dear old grandfather of carnies." He explained slowly as he guided them both out of the room and out to the hall, turning off the light and closing the door as he went. "And well, you see, Caleb Nichol hates carnies."
The glowing white lights hanging from trees twinkled cheerfully in the moonlight as Ryan walked down the familiar driveway of the Cooper's property, closing his eyes briefly as the sounds of music and laughter carried out to them from inside and the patio on the other side of the house. He hung back slightly from the Cohens and Summer, taking a deep, preparative breath and coughing as the rush of cool air irritated his throat, stinging his eyes as he waited for the fit to end.
As they stepped up to the front door, candles lining the front steps, Ryan stood silently beside Seth and Summer as Kirsten rang the doorbell. Clearing his throat and willing away the burning sensation in his lungs, Ryan looked up to see Sandy watching him carefully. He gave his foster father a tight smile and hoped they wouldn't worry anymore tonight.
The door swung open and the laughter and music got louder as Julie Cooper looked them all up and down with a critical eye. "Well. Cal said we wouldn't be expecting you, Kiki." She chirped, giving them all a sickeningly sweet smile.
"So good to see you too, Julie." Sandy breezed into the house, much to Julie's obvious disgust, and saved Kirsten from having to reply. "Hope you guys got the good caterers, I'm starved. Now, please point me in the direction of the champagne." He rubbed his hands together and grinned.
"Juju? Who's here?" the unmistakable growl of Caleb Nichol sounded through the foyer and Ryan felt himself holding his breath and glancing nervously at Kirsten.
But Kirsten looked as calm and collected as he'd ever seen her, right up to the moment when Caleb rounded the corner and looked at his daughter and her family in obvious surprise. His jaw was set as he faced her, giving a polite nod and a slight smile. "Kirsten. This is a surprise."
Kirsten's mouth twitched, but she forced a smile of her own. "A good one, I hope." She said, and reached up to kiss his cheek. "Happy birthday, dad." She said genuinely as their eyes met in a silent showdown.
Caleb sort of grinned again before he turned to Sandy and extended a hand. "Sanford."
It looked like it took every ounce of willpower in Sandy's body to shake his father-in-law's hand and not look enraged. "Don't get excited. I'm only here for the free food. Now if you'll excuse me, I need a drink." He said with a sigh, and started to walk into the throngs of people leading into the main room. "You better have a damned good open bar, Cal. That's all I've got to say." He tossed over his shoulder, and disappeared into the crowd.
Ryan watched as Caleb bristled and clenched his jaw. "Your husband is always a laugh riot, Kiki." He muttered, and Kirsten shot him a look.
Just as the tension started to creep up another notch, Seth cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Hey, Grandpa!" He exclaimed cheerfully and held his arms open for a hug. "Happy birthday."
Caleb's eyes widened as he pulled away from his grandson and held him out to arm's length with a hand on either shoulder. "My God. What did you do to yourself?" He demanded, looking at Seth's head in undisguised disgust. "That's positively unsightly, Seth. Kiki, did you allow this?" he asked in disbelief, pointing to Seth's hair.
Her eyes narrowing, Kirsten leveled her father with a glare. "Dad…" She started in a warning tone.
Ryan chose that moment to step forward and put himself directly in Caleb's line of sight. The man's eyes fell on him and turned colder as he looked at him critically, a mocking smile creeping onto his face. "Of course." He said lowly. "I should have known."
Kirsten took a step closer to her father and her eyes flashed with fury, her tone darker. "Dad."
"Ryan." Caleb said suddenly, and held out his hand, his icy blue eyes still glued to Ryan's in a stony, emotionless stare. "Glad you could make it. How have you been feeling?"
The edge of sarcasm in his voice told Ryan not to take him seriously. But that didn't stop him from staring back and letting Caleb's hand hang in midair for a good thirty seconds before he finally shook it. "Fine, thanks." He replied evenly, and willed the burning sensation of an oncoming cough away, at least for another moment or so.
Seth clapped his hands together and broke the agonizing silence. "Okay, then. Greetings are done now." He said, and wrapped one arm around Summer and the other around Ryan. "We're going to go find us some mushroom leek crescents. Maybe if we're lucky, some crab and brie phyllo. We'll catch you guys later." With that he guided them all out into the party with an enigmatic grin.
Ryan heard Summer let out a sigh. "Way to save the day, Cohen." She told her boyfriend with a smile. "For a moment there I thought Chino and your grandpa were going to turn one another to stone." She muttered, shooting Ryan a look of half concern, half admiration.
Looking back at her, Ryan grinned slightly but pulled away from Seth and covered his mouth with his hand when a coughing attack hit him out of nowhere, almost doubling him over as his lungs begged for breath and demanded to expel it at the same time.
When it was finally over he became aware of tears in his eyes, and Seth's hand gently patting his back. "You alright?" He asked gently over the din, and Ryan saw his foster brother's worried expression.
Not trusting his voice, Ryan just nodded.
"Oh, thank God." A familiar voice sighed with relief, and Marissa pushed through the crowds of people and appeared in front of them. "I didn't think you guys were coming!" she exclaimed with a wide, white-toothed smile.
Seth clapped Ryan's shoulder and grinned sardonically. "People change."
Marissa raised a sculpted eyebrow in his direction, and then looked at Ryan and blinked, pushing a strand of immaculately curled hair behind her ear. "Hey." She said softly, and leaned forward to kiss his cheek.
Ryan smiled at her and tried not to focus on the heaviness he was beginning to feel in his chest as they made their way to the bar for a round of non-alcoholic drinks. This coughing thing was really getting old, especially since Dr. Collins had informed them that it was nothing serious. It had gone from just annoying, to positively painful each time he coughed, and his lungs were starting to ache, almost making it harder to breath. Hopefully it was nothing the lozenges in his pocket couldn't fix.
If he had to tell the truth, he'd say he was beginning to feel like shit. He was tired, everything ached, and he just wanted to go home. But he'd dragged the Cohens out to this party for a reason, and he wasn't going to lose sight of it. One way or another, he was going to see this party through, even if it killed him.
AN: Hope it was well-liked. Obviously I've paved the way for a climactic next chapter…oh yes, I do believe that will be a fun one. Review and cheers!
-Vancouverite
