Errr, yes, so, my very first fan-fiction ever, my first attempt at what could become a long story, of any description in fact. Should be interesting, try and be nice, if that's possible, I'd appreciate it, really.

It's several years after Ultimecia's end, and it had seemed to be going so well for the soon-to-be-wed Squall and Rinoa, but old habits die hard, and the engagement breaks off, leaving Rinoa pregnant and Squall even more hostile than before. For stories sake a beaten down Seifer arrives at the Garden as a last resort, after being shunned from everywhere else.

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own FF8, isn't that a surprise.


He had never really opened up. Not in the way they claimed he had, and though she had tried the change in him had been nothing more than a flash, exploding outwards blinding all those close enough and warming everyone in the garden with it's glow. She on the other hand saw him at his most vulnerable, and was the first to notice his fading glow – like all great things it burnt out fast, and she couldn't take it any more, she couldn't risk loosing the baby. With hushed whispers they stared, averting their gaze should she look their way, as she walked, down the all too long, all too crowded corridors of Balamb Garden. They watched with judgmental eyes, watched her staggering down the hallway laden down with bags and belongings, her whole life stored in the bags, her whole life held her hands. Tears smudged her dignity and make-up until finally Selphie stepped in and took the box she had been balancing on her hip, and some trailing luggage and eyes downcast, wordlessly led the way to the entrance.

He watched over the preceding from his office, empty and numb. Watched the woman he loved stumble out of his Garden, out of his home out of his life. He stared at the door long after she had gone through it, as if still mustering up the courage to suddenly scream 'Don't leave, I still love you.' But he didn't know if he still did, and whether it would even make a difference anyway, he didn't seem to know anything anymore. He'd managed to do what he he'd spent his whole life trying to do; driving away anyone who showed any interest in him. Rather than contemplate what it all meant, he turned swiftly on his heel to his heavy wooden desk, the bottom-most draw of which contained an ever-dwindling supply of whiskey.


Seifers POV

Now

"What?" A curt, clipped voice replied the other side of the door.
"Err.. Commander Leonheart, there is someone here to see you." That was Xu, a woman of power if there ever was one, seeing her break a sweat doesn't surprise me all that much though. Seeing me who wouldn't? After all I did, so many never have forgiven me… why would they? So many stories, sometimes I thing some of them must be true, in many ways I'm glad I have no memories of what happened, what really happened…
"Commander Leonheart, there is a young man here looking for a job" She repeated, seeming to hold her breath waiting for the reply. His sigh was audible, even on the far side of the thick mahogany door… curious how she didn't mention me be name, good job I guess…Hyne, does he know it's me? I'm all out of places to go.
"Do we need any more staff?" He spoke slowly, each word stiff, awkward, and slightly thickened, very unlike the Squall I once knew.
"Well, we could use someone, maybe, for filing; new admissions will be soon… that's always a strain." My god, it's like she wants me here, I mean if she didn't she could have just said there were no jobs, but why would she want me here?
"Then hire him." Squall replied gruffly. She said nothing more, but ushered me quietly away, I've been in all too many awkward situations lately to object.
"I can't guarantee he'll let you stay. When he finds out who the new 'secretary' is." Xu seemed almost cheerful as she led my down the familiar walkways the dormitory. Was that a statement? Was I expected to answer her… Hyne, I don't even know how to react in simple conversation anymore.
"So what brought you back here anyway? I hadn't heard anything of you since the trial, well until this afternoon." She really was a chatty thing outside of uniform wasn't she?
"I've always been interested in secretaries..." I couldn't help but smirk at my own little joke, maybe I wasn't such a lost cause after all.
"Mr Almasy!" Hyne, I've gone too far.
"Always were a smutty one, weren't you? Well I'd watch your tongue, if you're going to be working here, wouldn't want our cruder boys taking you up as a role model now…" ouch, as if I needed more reminders of what I'd done, it haunted my thoughts, my dreams, everything, and yet people still seemed to need to remind me, as if I might just forget.
She stopped at an open doorway, to be my own, my 'home', if I was good.
"Whatever you say… Xu" I slurred, eyeing her, with that idiotic smirk, Hyne. I just can't stop it. I just open my mouth and this sleazy, trash talk comes out. A whole alter ego, a big one at that. I had hoped just a little bit that the whole façade might end here, that I had grown up since I had been here last, that I no longer had to be this slimy womanizing, macho bully, that I might be able to tell someone how I was really feeling. But no. I Never was able to, what had I expected to change, why was here different to anywhere else?
It hit me, a shock enough to make me retch, like someone had just sucked the blood from me, I threw my self though the frame of my room slamming the door in Xu's confused face, and falling to my knees. As it all came flooding back, worse than all the crimes I committed under Ultimecia… a hard on and a punch to the stomach.

Of course I still love him.