Human fears and mine

It scares me to watch

scares me to do nothing but stand here

and do nothing

to look the other way

when i know what im doing for u

is really just as wrong

as what ur doing to yourself

what do you expect me to think

when you tell me the things that you have seen?

i wont cry

wont tell you what i think is best

wont try to lead u the way a parent would

to their child

thats not what i am

so why would take that place?

what good would i be to u

to be just another voice

nagging

trying to help

when you dont want help

but a person to get it off to

im only human,

but im also a sister

and when a brother or sister of mine

is in pain

i dont want them to hold in and walk away form me

that is my fear

i dont give a damn if it hurts

if it pains you to know

that i could get hurt

im human!

we all get hurt!

we all feel pain!

what we dont realize

is that we need to let out that pain

that hurt

cause if we dont

we find ourselves wandering away from those we love

those we care about

and in the act of "saving" them

we could more likely kill them

people do not want thier family

thier friends

to run like that

its not our nature

we came here as a group

one that strays

to save the others from thier pain

causes more pain

its not this way for everyone

but for me

its what i have become

you want me to forget?

forget my past

forget my pain?

then i will.

but if you dont let me

like i try so hard to let down my walls

all for u

then what difference does it make?

if we're humans created by a loving god

or just simply compositions of chemicals

like they all try to simplify us as

flesh

the spirt was put in by some unseen force

all different

yet all the same

we all hunger with a need to be around those

who share our thoughts

dreams

love

hate

pain

humor

goals

my spirit is among them

i hunger for kinship at last

after a childhood of being

an exception

a pitty

im not the child i once was

i have what i want

but it's sliping as the years pass

changing and turing

not quite going away

yet not staying the same either

that is what i fear.

to be alone again.

not physical

but to know a friend

one who i conisder family

who earned my trust and loyalty

to distance them selves from me

trying to keep me from thier pain

like i said

we all have pain

so why keep it?

when it hurts

why not get rid of it

when someone willingly wants to help

why the hell not let them?
because u dont want to hurt them!

if they were afraid of that,

why would they ask to help you?