My reviewers are quite simply the greatest people in the world, really, I wasn't really sure if this was going to actually become something, you have all brought it errr one chapter closer to becoming something. So, thank you, you're wonderful. I get the feeling the story comes across as confusing – bear with me and have faith, it will all become clear in time, hopefully.
Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Squaresoft. Silly goose.
Siefer POV
Now
The morning was damp and warm, promising to be muggy later… The perfect day to announce myself as the new member of the Garden. It seemed, somewhat, that this weather made people brash and aggressive, they would be in no mood to have a friendly chat with the guy that had most likely killed at least one person they knew, the destroyer of families. How many SeeD's died at my hands, how many had I known… before all this started… They didn't scare me, not really, I can defend myself well enough, and few of them really dare attack me, I mean if I was in their shoes I wouldn't either. But still no one likes to be alone, and I'm just so tired of the abrasiveness, I'm not looking for friends, just somewhere where I can sit and not be attacked, my body was still in top shape but my mind was tired. And on top of it all my last resort, my place at Balamb, all rested in Squalls hands. I'd had a restless night, Yes…Feeling numb sitting on my bed, looking at my shoes, waiting, for some courage to come not because of the people, the names or the fact that this was the last place I had left, but because I had to face him again.
Then
He was small but well built, with a femininity I couldn't just glance over. I had watched him for so long, stood in the shadows, silent, he probably didn't even know I existed; he seemed so lost in his own world. He frowned so much, crinkling his little nose in concentration. It was time to approach him, now or never, maybe what I was about to do was wrong, but I needed to do it, there was no other way.
"Leonheart!" I shouted sternly. He turned, eyes wide shocked at the sound of his name breaking the silence.
"What do you think you're doing up this late? In the training centre of all places. Hope you hadn't set your hopes on any secret little meetings?"
"And what about you?" His lithe body stood calmly, but his eyes had let him down, they always had, he was terrified at what I might do.
"I'm a year older than you… and on the disciplinary committee, I might add, I'm allowed to be up at this hour. You on the other hand, are not; Cid won't be too happy his star gunblader running himself ragged over secret night time meetings with girlies"
"But I wasn't…" Squall had started defiantly, only to stop himself; my smug smile was enough to make him wither away. My word against his, simple as that.
"I'll tell you what, Leonheart, come down to my room tomorrow evening, 9pm, ok, I need to punish you, but I won't be telling anyone." The relief in Squalls eyes was evident; it made my young heart melt. But he still stood muscles tense, body frozen.
"Now go to bed before someone else catches you" I said slapping him on the shoulder, he flinched at the touch as I walked away.
Hyne… that was mean, a little low too, but Squall was too beautiful to loose, too closed to just seduce like any of the other whimsys.
The start of something special?
Probably not, just another fling.
Now
A knock, quiet even to my ears, doubt he'll even hear it inside, I'm just about to knock again when a sharp clipped voice stopped me... Hyne, I could just turn around, walk out of here, live a life of isolation. But I want to see him… I think, it's… it's all so awkward, what do I say to this man? What changed in him since I'd last heard word of the Garden, the wedding bells seemed to chime everywhere, echoing inside me. Everywhere I turned, discussion of how no one had seen him this happy… since… ever. Maybe he was, he doesn't sound it, maybe I'm just bitter, don't I have a little right to be? Hyne. No, no not even a little, I can't go in there like this, still a sour little kid, I still blame him, it was my fault, my stupid stubbornness, refusal to ever…
"Are you alright Seifer?"
"hm? What?" Xu, standing unnervingly close to me, still holding the papers she had been sorting through… I forgot she was here…
"You seem a little stuck, just standing there, is Squall not replying? He might be sleeping; he's not really been on top form in the last few days…"
"Oh, I'd better not wake him" I say making to move, but she's already leant across to the door, and, in what seems like a second I'm thrown into the room.
"Yes?" His head is down working on some papers. the voice was lower this time, it had lost its sharp edge, the thick growl I recognized all too well as someone with too little sleep and far too much drink, and as I stepped forward I couldn't help but notice the faint small of stale drink on the air. The curtains were all closed, and the lights only on dim, it felt not too dissimilar to the musky bar in Dollet; I would miss afternoon lessons and catch a ferry over to a few times a week to waste my childhood away on watery beer and cheap wine.
"I errrr… came…" his head glances upwards from his works, to mouth poised to tell me a crisp order, maybe to hurry up what I wanted to say, or speak with confidence… I'll never know, his words were lost to time, he gaped at me for a second or two… my heart skipped, squally, my squally… hardly changed, but then what had I expected to, his face still pale, features still delicate, fine bone structure, wisps of chocolate hair slipping across his face… across his eyes… his endless stormy grey eyes…looked tired, but I could still look into them for a lifetime, they were different, distant looking past me, through me…
I snapped back into the room just as he did; his eyes flashed, dark and angry.
"You!" he snarled half standing, but returned to his seat, by the looks of him he could well be hung over. Hyne! I'd have no chance if he was in a bad mood, though by the sounds of it this was a pretty permanent state of mind
"What are you doing here." It was more of a statement, laced with venom, that I shouldn't be there, rather than a question, and at that moment I'd rather be anywhere else.
"I work here" I said, quietly, I probably have as much right as he does at being angry, but his intensity caught me off guard, I'm very much on the defensive.
"Since?" Hyne, he blames me, for everything, I want to breakdown, tell him how sorry I am, but I can't, my pride is my character flaw, but at least I'm honest about it.
"I'm your new secretary, you hired me yesterday."
"… You shouldn't be here" his voice is lower, softer now, the voice of one realising defeat and not wanting to draw attention to it, but I can't stop.
"But I should, I'm getting paid Squall, might as well put me to good use" I'm getting smug now, and hating it… I just want to put my arms around him… hold him.
He makes to say something, but stops himself, changing his mind he mutters:
"Report to Quistis, she'll know how to 'put you to good use'." And his head is back at his work, calling me to leave. I want to stay, ask him to forgive me, kiss and makeup, just talk but there's nothing to say to him, so I may as well heed call and leave. Feeling an unnatural heat rising heat in my cheeks, and tightness in my chest, I charge back to my dorm.
Squall POV
Then
It was dark, something about those lights flickering below me, in the Garden's gardens, intoxicated me, the cool air, blowing gently in from the sea; salty, tangy, fresh. Never did I feel more alive… And for a while I wasn't here, in my dormitory, here, in the Garden, In my mind I was anything I wanted, not confined to my scrawny body and sickly skin, I could go anywhere, be anything, spoke what I felt, and never did anyone give me a strange look, I was confident, handsome in a broad, tanned way. With a smile that made people melt…
Tonight I was on a particularly sunny beach, the Mediterranean climate was not too unlike Balam, but different, dryer and, well… just perfect. My tanned toned body attracting wanted attention, my smile radiating over everyone. A certain charismatic charm, which, I had always hoped would come with time, but never did. Tonight I had it all. Who would I choose today? For I could have my pick of anyone here. God like. Yes, being Seifer Almasy would be perfect.
My eyes scan past a pale skinny boy, out of place in such weather, downcast and covered in black, looking strangely familiar. Hyne, what was I doing? Jerked back to reality. Even in daydreams I was rejected, by myself? I was sickly and disgusting, even the dreams didn't lie for a moment –too cruel to give me the illusion of happiness for even a moment. Nothing really new there then. But even in my dreams I couldn't force myself to ever get interest from anyone, let alone someone like Seifer. What was he doing being nice to me anyway? He had every right to just send me to the headmaster last night, what difference did it make to him…
It was 8:55 when I tapped at his door, an answer came almost immediately;
"C'mon in" an easy slur, very sexy. I was breaking into a sweat just stepping into his room… There he was at his window, looking out over the same view I had only minutes earlier, smoking a cigarette...
The silence was strangely comfortable, seeming to last a life time before he turned around, stubbing out his cigarette and flicking the stub out his window.
"Ah, Leonheart, early? Just couldn't wait to see me no doubt." How do I reply to that? I swallow back the lump in my throat and force a nod.
"Aright Leonheart, I got a job for you, or rather something I need some help with." He sat himself across his bed, making himself comfortable. Immediately on my guard, what was he up to.
"Easy tiger, you look a bit tense, want one? It'll calm you down a little." He coos thrusting a cigarette packet in my direction.
"No…No." I mutter, I can't look him in the eye, what does he want?
"We can't go out for a while, for a good half hour, till the training centre clears out a bit, so you might as well make your self comfortable." He pats the bed with a sly grin but I edge towards a fragile looking wicker chair. He looks somewhat disappointed, but I can't really tell.
"So, Leonheart, what have you been up to lately? SeeD exam not too far away eh?"
"Err, yeah, ok, I guess." I hadn't answered his question. He didn't seem too bothered.
"And the ladies?" he was leaning forward, eyes resting just below my waist. I couldn't help but squirm, how did I get myself into this?
"Err… no non, at the moment."
"Really? I'm surprised Leonheart, those girlies, practically throwing themselves at you."
"…" what the hell am I meant to say?
I looked down at my watch, another 10 minutes, I'd give just about anything to get out of this situation right now…
"Want some?" the voice quiet by my ear shocks my back into the room, and he's there, breathing sweet, warm breath on my neck, close enough to turn around and kiss…
"Do you think we should?" my voice is quivering, I can't put myself to quite look around for fear of loosing control, but then he's the one coming on to me right?
"I won't tell if you don't" he purred, swigging back from the dark bottle. Licking his lips before putting the bottle to my lips…
He touches me gently, tracing my jaw line as I drink, before running his hand down to the buttons of my shirt. And I just sit there, statuesque. It was only when the third button of my shirt had been undone that I came to my senses, jerking away from his touch. He looked up into my eyes, genuinely hurt.
"Squall…"
"I'm… I'm sorry, Almasy, I can't." And I race to the door, not looking back until it's firmly closed behind me and I'm half way down the hall, shirt still unbuttoned.
Right so that's the second chapter happily tucked away, really it's probably not much clearer than the first, but still, it's getting closer, I just don't want to go throwing the whole story out before it starts. Maybe a little to ambitious, but I'd like to keep a certain amount of mystery, rather than just telling a story, but then at the same time, I don't want to start with the story without looking back a little bit in to the past. Do I make any sense at all?
Just in case I've totally lost you with this chapter, I've flicked between past and present, and different points of view. I commend you for making it through this far.
Reviewers are loved and cherished. Really.
