Not So Smooth Talker
Beerus no longer counted the years or centuries, but if he was honest, he hadn't been in a relationship for quite some time. He often slept through the decades, awakening after a nap that felt like it could have lasted longer, constantly blinking open his eyes with a dull headache. And if he wasn't sleeping, he was either searching for a decent meal or performing his duties as a God of Destruction. He might have seemed aloof and crass, but Beerus ensured the useless planets paid a hefty price under his critical eye or failed to appeal to his finer tastes.
The recent years proved compelling. Ever since he became involved with the residents of Earth, he only catnapped for months at a time. There was always a reason to drag himself out of bed to feast upon the delectable dishes Bulma served. And when Goku wasn't threatening to erase his existence by playing with the King of All, then Beerus was training him and Vegeta, their improving talents and latent abilities perplexingly impressive.
But today, there was a curious woman on his planet. Soft green skin like ripe slices of lime, neatly combed white hair the shade of snow, and a twinkle in her eyes luring Beerus to her, he had shuddered. She was robbing him blind and sweetening her words to evade trouble that would have earned her a one-way ticket to the other world.
And Beerus liked it.
Her name was Cheelai, a spunky name for an equally cunning girl. She was a companion of Broly and Lemo, new guests who had arrived without his permission. They had been living on Vampa, of all inhospitable worlds, but from what Whis had relayed to Beerus, they relied on their talents and Bulma's capsules to survive with ease. She had never complained about her new living arrangements, insisting it was far better than surviving under Frieza's thumb. Upon meeting her, Beerus understood her initial theft had been for the betterment of her friends.
He wouldn't refer to himself as "smitten" with Cheelai. He had been with women ages ago, but with mundane dreariness poisoning him in his everyday life, always destroying, always sleeping, Beerus stepped away from romance. It hadn't occurred to him that her presence would stir his dormant heart with such beauty and charm. He was drawn to her, curious to learn more about his guest, who watched, hand to her cheek, as Vegeta and Goku brawled in the sky.
They had been fighting for almost an hour. Grunts and war cries echoed, slicing the wind as their fists connected. Soaring, Goku chased after Vegeta, who teleported behind him. His heel connected with Goku's back, shooting him toward the lake. Goku hardly had time to cry out.
As his body crashed, the waves shot upward. Broly was already drenched but unbothered. Beerus snapped his fingers, forming another translucent shield around himself, Whis, Lemo, and Cheelai, who sat comfortably next to him in a chair he had brought out for her. As the water pelted Broly and the shield, Beerus glanced at Cheelai. She was tilting her head, squinting at the afterimages of Goku and Vegeta as they darted across the horizon, her eyes zipping from side to side.
"Man, they're still going strong," she said, snaking her hand behind her neck. "It's getting harder to keep up with them."
The corner of Beerus' lips curled upward. "For the untrained eye, yes."
"You can see-?" She giggled. "Oh, right, you are the God of Destruction. You'd definitely be able to keep up with them better than I can."
The rain slowed to a drizzle around them. Her compliment warmed his cheeks. Wrapping his arms behind his head, he slouched among his assortment of clouds and said, "Indeed. Even if they had gone Super Saiyan Blue, following them would be a breeze for someone of my status."
A low, whimsical hum pierced through his delight. He glanced to his other side, spotting Whis wearing an impish grin. "My lord, you're certainly stroking your ego today," he said with a chuckle. "You're more boastful than usual."
Snorting, Beerus thrust his arm out. "I'll have you know I'm more humble than Vegeta. Besides, I've more than it."
"That is true. You have performed your duties as a Destroyer with exceptional poise-" Whis winked. "-when you aren't napping or snacking."
As the shield depleted, Goku and Vegeta's roars were a welcomed distraction. Beerus cocked his head as Goku's knuckles connected with Vegeta's chin. He heard Cheelai suck in a sharp breath, and when he looked at her, she was massaging her jaw.
"I felt that in my teeth," she admitted to Lemo.
He nodded, shaking in place on the grass. "Oh, same here. Those two could level Frieza's ship if they fought in a training room."
They chatted, leaving Beerus to glance between them and the brawl. Even as powerful blows spliced the air, Beerus was more concerned with communication. During the time they had spent sitting down, eating ice cream, and witnessing a monotonous round of combat, a lull had formed. Most conversations were idle and casual between the four, usually offering a few sentences before bellowing and bones cracking from above distracted them. Particularly, Cheelai and Lemo often jumped and jerked their heads in the direction where Goku and Vegeta flew. They were mesmerized like Broly, who never took his attention off the action, not even for fresh ice cream.
Two forehead flicks from Beerus would have sent Vegeta and Goku crashing through the ground. They would have formed mile-deep craters, an immensely boring outcome for tedious fisticuffs. But he couldn't intervene. Whis had recommended the contest for a reason. It also made for decent entertainment for his new guests. At the very least, it was like a drive-thru movie where he already knew the ending while they were viewing it for the first time.
But he wasn't interested in a conclusion that he felt was already spoiled when Vegeta jabbed Goku between his eyes. Cheelai was visible just out of the corner of his eye, uttering a laugh as smooth and silky as honey. She brought her knuckles to her chin, chuckling at something Lemo had said. As they spoke, Beerus straightened, listening to a conversation that had nothing to do with him.
He was a Destroyer. He feared nothing. With ease, he took what he wanted and instilled fearful respect in the hearts of subservient beings across the galaxy. But as the proverbial cat, his tongue was caught. He desired to speak with Cheelai and discover more about the fascinating, stunning woman who had the audacious nerve to waltz in front of him with his stolen goods.
Conversing was easy. He had sneered and chatted throughout his life. It wasn't like he dealt with any bout of awkwardness or anxiety when becoming acquaintances. When he first visited Earth, he was the life of Bulma's birthday party, winning applause with his rousing breakdancing in front of strangers who later became allies.
But regarding Cheelai, he knew next to nothing about her. Her favorite flavor of ice cream was vanilla with generous amounts of cookie dough - a solid choice. She had joined the Frieza Force to evade capture from the Galactic Patrol, which was another solid choice, as even the Galactic Patrol irritated Beerus. One rookie cop had the nerve to accost him and Whis when he decimated a particularly uncouth world without a shred of intelligent life.
"A Hakai fakeout shut down her prattling in a millisecond," Beerus had told Cheelai on their way to fetch ice cream.
Cheelai had hummed, gazing up at him with some wonder. "Did she tail it back to her little car and get outta there?"
"Indeed! Her jaw dropped so far down that I thought it would hit her knees. And yes, she scrambled to her tiny patrol car with a screech much like a crow on a bad day."
She had giggled, twinkles in her eyes, the skin by them slightly crinkling in her amusement. Up close, Beerus had basked in her good cheer. He had snickered with her, and his delight even propelled a tune out of him as he searched for the several tubs of ice cream.
Cheelai enjoyed their banter. He deemed himself a humorous Destroyer, witty and eloquent - even if Whis liked to damper his pride with unnecessary comments in recent months. But humor extended a conversation for only so long. He needed to initiate something with her, a sentence that would catch her undivided attention as her head lifted to survey the ensuing battle.
And what he wanted to ask came quicker than expected. He clenched his fist, hiding it in his lap. He pivoted to Cheelai, resting his legs on the grass. Leaning forward, he met her gaze. Cheelai recoiled at his sudden closeness, and he pulled away slightly, giving her enough space to breathe.
"Lord…Beerus?" she asked, the corner of her mouth twitching.
He smirked. She was beautiful up close.
Exuding charm and personality, Beerus asked, "So, do you come around here often?"
Cheelai blinked. Her eyebrows skyrocketed. For a moment, Beerus thought they would have touched her hairline. Pursing her lips, she teased her collar as she replied, "Um, this is the first time I've been here, so…no."
Heat rose to his face in a heartbeat. His muted violet skin flushed. His eyes shot wide open, and his mouth clamped shut. As if he had to hit the brakes, he lurched backward, grasping an invisible steering wheel.
"Oh, uh, yeah, yeah, that's right. You know, uh…" Beerus trailed off, gawping at her. His brain failed to refocus. His train of thoughts stalled. Even his hands remained stiff, his fingers unmoving, unable to gesture.
Like a statue, the God of Destruction stared at her. He assumed she would have gone along with his line of flirtation. He thought it was the perfect opener. But as her words ran laps in his head, sinking into his brain, he wanted to fling himself into space. Of course, she'd respond with confusion. They had already established she had never been to his planet; Beerus had been the one to question Cheelai and her friends' visit in the first place.
Only a snort from Whis, who poorly stifled his laughter, filled the silence. Beerus whipped his head over his shoulder. He glared with such malice that it stopped Whis dead in his tracks. Beerus rose to his feet, tail twitching. He jerked his finger inward, brow creasing, as he briskly stormed off on the paved path. Hearing Whis apologizing to Lemo and Cheelai for the abrupt exit, Beerus barked out his name.
Whis casually floated over, staff in hand, wasting time Beerus did not have. "Come now, my lord, you surely aren't mortified over a simple social faux pas?" he asked. He groaned as Beerus crossed his arms. "So what if you you embarrassed yourself? That doesn't mean-"
"Whis, rewind time," Beerus bluntly ordered.
He balked. "Are you quite serious? It would be a gross misuse of my power."
Jabbing a crooked finger at Goku, who soared overhead, he snapped, "You did it when that idiot let his planet blow up!"
Whis spoke with a calmness created over centuries of working alongside Beerus. "Because we wanted to teach Goku a lesson about being overly generous to his unyielding opponents." He sighed. "Also, let's not forget it was an unnecessary tragedy in the first place. You saw how Bulma wept."
He dragged his claws down his cheeks. Skin sagging, he hissed, "Whis, precious seconds are slipping through my fingers!"
Whis rolled his eyes. "This could impact the outcome of Goku and Vegeta's scrabble. It wouldn't be fair to them if you forced me to intervene with the flow of time because you mortified yourself in front of your new crush."
An exasperated cry rushed out of him from the pit of his belly. "They won't know what hit 'em! Now, stop stalling and do it!"
Clicking his tongue, he mumbled, "Yes, Lord Beerus. Sheesh."
Whis tapped his staff on the ground. Silent shockwaves rippled through his planet. Beerus felt the wind rushing against him with the force of a storm. The world's motions reversed as they approached their seats. Cheelai and Lemo chatted, blissfully aware. Sitting down, Beerus noted how she laughed again, cheerful and sweet, a sound he wanted to repeat when the sharp cracking of knuckles meeting knuckles bellowed across the planet.
Goku and Vegeta fought. Broly observed. Lemo and Cheelai spoke. All was right.
Beerus hadn't embarrassed himself. He quickly banished the memory, dumping it like yesterday's trash. Even if Whis glared daggers at the back of his head, he sat in sheer satisfaction, resolved to settle the situation in a manner befitting of a Destroyer.
Though, when he found an uneaten tub of ice cream almost hidden behind his seat, he snatched it. It wasn't fair to let it melt to inedible slush. Prying off the top, he grabbed his leftover spoon and dug in, savoring the rich peppermint and chocolate.
And the minutes streamed without concern. Leftover ice cream was eaten by everyone. Containers were discarded carelessly on the grass and over the shoulders. Unsurprisingly, his students extended their combat with only minor slowdowns, Beerus noticing their breathing becoming ragged. But it wasn't enough to deter them as Vegeta slammed Goku into a nearby hill, rocky and grassy debris crashing into his pristine lakes.
He yawned and slouched in his seat. Wrapping his hands behind his head again, he languidly followed the fight. A yawn ghosted out of him. He idly rubbed his eyes, feeling his body lulling off to sleep in the aftermath of his sugar high.
"Hey, Lord Beerus, are you okay? You look fatigued," Cheelai said.
"Huh? Me?" Beerus hitched his thumb at himself, jolted by her voice. "Well, I-"
"Spot on, Cheelai. Lord Beerus only slept for four months. He must be groggy," Whis piped up. His lips tightened in a strained smile. "You know, if he doesn't get at least six months of sleep, he becomes so irritable that he blows planets up at random. He might destroy his own world if he doesn't get his regular nap."
Cheelai winced. "Oh! Um, is that so?"
"It is not," Beerus interjected, glaring at Whis, who continued grinning. But another yawn escaped him. Already, his thoughts fogged. The comfortable cushions of his cloud couch seemed to soften as he rested. "Well, it wouldn't hurt to get a few more minutes of shut-eye, especially with those two using the same boring strategies." With a third yawn, he stretched his legs and nestled his head in the clouds. "After good ice cream, a nap is necessary."
"I hear ya on that," Cheelai remarked, and he shared a grin with her, imprinting her visage on his eyelids as he closed them.
"Whis, fill me in on the details later," he lazily ordered.
He heard Whis sigh. "Of course, my lord. I'm sure your students will be thrilled to hear you nodded off while they fought."
"And if they complain, I'll eradicate them. Problem solved."
He dozed off to the sounds of Whis' gentle laughter in one ear and Lemo and Cheelai's chuckling in the other, the struggle between Goku and Vegeta already miles away as he drifted off to a peaceful slumber.
