Title: She Walks This Earth – (Chapter 4 of How Many Days)
Disclaimer: Joss doesn't play with his toys anymore. Someone has to, dammit!
Rating: R
Pairing: Buffy/Spike, Dawn/Other, Willow/Giles, Willow/Other
Summary: Post-Season 7. This is a sequel to 'Don't Stop the Dance'
Distribution: Anywhere you like, just let me know.
Feedback: is welcome. ~Xionin (xionin@beautiful-freak.com)
Thank you: Pam and Maribel: my wonderful betas. I'd be lost without you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Give me water
Give me inspiration
I want to speak now
But I can't find a word
So unforgiving
Is my infatuation
Now that I know
She walks upon the Earth
She walks this Earth -Ivan Lins/Brenda Russell as performed by Sting

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She Walks This Earth

Buffy has been having increasingly more vivid dreams of Sunnydale since that day. Sometimes the images linger in her mind long after she's showered and dressed for her daily routine. Occasionally a memory, sharp and painful, will hit her at the most inopportune moment. She'll be in front of the self-defense class that she teaches to young slayers and a fragment will slice through her mind, rendering her helpless. She'll fall to the mats, momentarily incapacitated, as the young girls gather around her to help her up.

The dreams fall under two categories...maybe three, depending on how you look at them. On one side there is light: blinding, warm and comforting light. It speaks to her, soothing her and giving her notions of love and caring. On the other side there is darkness, despair and grief. She can feel the pull of a blackness she's never known. From those dreams she wakes up in a panic, screams lodged in her throat afraid to be released. The dreams of light give her peace. She is able to maneuver through the day with relative normality. She can smile and not feel as if puppet strings are holding her up; controlling her.

In the other dreams...the most vivid, intense and disturbing dreams...she is with him. They are tangled together between sheets soaked with their passion. There is usually no sound, even their moans are muffled, there is only feeling. Flesh on flesh; hands on skin; mouths hungry and devouring.

Buffy isn't sure which category these particular dreams belong in: light or dark. She wakes from them feeling neither panic nor peace, only...longing. Either way, she doesn't allow herself to indulge in deciphering them. They belong in her past, lost in the ether along with him. And she is still walking this earth into an unknown future; still alive, even though she doesn't feel so alive.

This morning is blessedly dream-free. Buffy stretches her tired muscles and makes quick work of getting ready for the day. Giles had pulled her aside during the party and asked if she could meet with an old colleague of his that is anxious to make her acquaintance. After dressing and brushing through her waist-length, honey golden hair, she bounds down the steps to the kitchen for a quick bite to eat before Mr. Ostriak arrives. She is surprised to find Dawn there.

"You're up early." She grabs an orange out of the basket on the table and begins to peel it.

"Couldn't sleep." Dawn is listlessly picking over a scone. Noticing this, Buffy frowns a little, ceasing her actions.

"You ok?"

"Yeah...just thinking about last night." Buffy takes the chair next to her sister and puts a hand on her back.

"We'll figure it out, whatever it is. Don't worry, Dawnie." Her voice is hushed.

"Dawn, please...I'm not a little girl." She smiles.

"Oh, I know. And I seem to recall a pretty cute guy that knows this too." She nudges Dawn's shoulder with her own. Dawn blushes and can't hide the grin that breaks out on her face.

"I can't believe he's a Watcher trainee or a Watcher-in-training or whatever." Dawn shakes her head. So much for being normal.

"Well, he isn't, technically. Although I'm sure he'll jump right into his studies...now." Buffy smirks as she goes back to her orange. Dawn laughs silently.

"Yeah...he just might." She sighs and pauses as Buffy observes her. "I really like him, Buff. I hope I didn't scare him off."

"Uhhh. Excuse me, but didn't he ask you out, like, right after the...you-know?" Buffy arches her eyebrows an dpops a slice of fruit into her mouth. Dawn smiles.

"Yeah...he did, didn't he?" She breaks off a piece of the currant scone and nibbles on it. "I guess he'll stick around."

"I saw the way he was looking at you, Dawnie...I mean Dawn. Are you sure it was just a kiss?" She teases.

"Yeeeeees." Dawn rolls her eyes. "It was...a good kiss, though...I-I think. Don't remember much."

"Well he must." Buffy grins and tosses her orange rind into the waste bucket. "The way he looks at you..." Her voice becomes distant.

"What do you mean?" Dawn gets up from the chair and crosses over to her sister, who is standing by the sink looking out the window.

"All during the party I watched him watching you. It reminded me of the way...well...Spike..." She doesn't continue, instead shaking herself and rinsing off her hands. "Nevermind. I'm glad that you've found a friend, Dawn. I...I hope it works out for you." She smiles, but there is sadness there. Dawn takes her sister's hand and squeezes it.

"So." She says, heading to the fridge. "What are your plans this fine Saturday?"

"Oh, well-" Buffy glances at the clock. "Actually, I am meeting with Giles' friend Richard Ostrich. He wants to interview me or something. He's a Watcher. A real one, not a new one."

"It's Ostriak, not ostrich, and Colin told me about him. He sounds nice. Sort of grandfatherly and very unwatcher-y." Dawn pours herself a small glass of orange juice.

"Yeah, and I figure 'why not'. He wants to ask me all about the Hellmouth and stuff. I-I don't mind talking about it that much, as long as..."

"He doesn't get too personal, I understand Buffy. But it'll be good for you to talk about it all. And he's objective, unlike Giles." Dawn smiles, downing her juice in three swallows and placing her empty glass in the dishwasher. "Might be just the thing you need."

"To do what?"

"To move on." With that Dawn leaves Buffy alone in the kitchen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Miss Summers." Richard sits in Giles desk chair, his hands folded in front of him as Buffy takes the seat across.

"Buffy's ok. You can call me Buffy." She smiles.

"Then, by all means, call me Richard." He gives her a wink as he shakes her hand. "I've been looking forward to meeting you for a very, very long time."

"Oh really? Why's that?"

"Oh come now, Buffy, you have to know that you are the most unique slayer the Council has ever seen, don't you?" He leans forward onto his elbows, his fingers laced under his chin. She rolls her eyes at the word 'council.'

"If, by that, you mean I play by their rules...then yeah." She arches her eyebrow. His smile widens.

"Precisely. You did more on your own than any slayer has ever done with the might of the council at her back." He says the word 'council' as if it were distasteful to him. Buffy smiles at that, but her eyes narrow with confusion.

"I was, what Giles likes to call, 'unorthodox'; but that's me: Miss Independence." His low laughter sends an unexpected chill down her spine, but she mentally waves it off. He obviously isn't of the same breed as the other Watchers she's known. And any friend of Giles'...

"Yes, yes. Well, I for one, admire your...tenacity and independence Miss Sum-...er...Buffy." He leans back in the chair. "You, uh...you had quite an interesting support group as well."

"You mean the Scoobies?"

"The...what now?" He looks at her, thoroughly confused. Buffy laughs.

"That's their nickname; the friends that helped me patrol. Um...Willow - have you met her?" He shakes his head negatively. "You will...I'm sure you'll be way into her. She's some sort of goddess now, but she was just learning witchcraft when I met her."

"A...goddess...did you say?" She nods. "What would make you say such a thing?" His eyebrows peak in curiosity.

"Well...you'll see when you meet her." Her smirk and subsequent laugh causes him to frown in confusion. He quickly shakes it off as the smile returns. This is a remarkable girl. He can feel the power emanating from her like heat. And she is every bit as beautiful as he'd imagined: small, compact, fiery. Perfect.

"Can't wait." Again, his smile un-nerves her and she looks away.

"Well, there was Willow-"

"The goddess."

"She was only a witch then." She corrects. "She and...Tara...they worked together until..." Her face takes on a mask of sadness.

"Until?"

"She died...I'm sorry...I..."

"Oh dear, I didn't know. Would you like to stop? Can I get you something?" He moves to rise but she raises her hand to stop him.

"No, sorry...I just...I'm okay. It was a long time ago...or it seems like it was. It's just...hard, you know? But I'm okay." She offers a small smile and he resumes his seat.

"Of course, please continue...when you're ready."

"Well...there was Xander."

"The human, right? Tell me, what exactly was his function in your unit?" She chuckles softly at the word 'unit.' Richard sounded very Riley-like just then.

"Xander? Well...god...he was our level-head. He kept us grounded, for the most part."

"I see...and who else?"

"Anya..."

"Who is Anya?"

"Anya is...was..." This time she feels the tears begin to sting the back of her eyes. His brow knits in genuine concern. She takes a deep breath and swallows. "I'm sorry, it's...it's been awhile since I..."

"Oh dear I'm so sorry, Buffy, I really didn't mean to bring up such painful memories. It is obvious that they are still fresh for you." He places his hands on the desk, trying to think of something to do to calm her. "Would you care for some tea?"

"No, really, it's alright. I can't hide forever." She takes a deep breath as he waits patiently. "She...died...during the...battle."

"Oh." His face falls. "Oh, I am so terribly sorry. Really, if you'd prefer not to continue-" His voice becomes soft and sympathetic.

"No, it's okay. I can't be afraid to talk about this." Richard remains silent, waiting for her to set her own pace. "Anya was a...vengeance demon." His eyebrows rise in surprise. "Emphasis on the was. She was human...most of the time...when she worked with us. She was with Xander."

"With?"

"They were...engaged. It's a long story, but in the end it didn't last."

"I don't imagine that it would have." His frank words disarm her and she feels the heat rising to her cheeks.

"He messed it up."

"Xander did?" He can't hide his surprise.

"Yes. Long story." She gives him a look that tells him that that part of the discussion is over.

"Understood." He smiles. He really likes this slayer. "Anyone else?" She freezes. Yes, there was Spike. He was one of us, although we never really treated him that way. God, not until the end, and even then it was only Dawn and I that accepted him. He gave up his existence so that I could sit here talking to you.

The words are not finding their way to her tongue. She sits there dumbfounded as this man stares at her as if he can see inside her. And he can, in a manner of speaking. He is reading her, a special talent he has as a mild empath. He is reading her emotions and he wonders what has brought this powerful, young woman to the brink of despair. No, she is over the brink and fighting her way back.

"If this is...too difficult for you, Miss Summers."

"No. And it's Buffy." She tries to smile. He accepts the effort graciously. "There was...another, besides the four of us, Giles and Dawn, my sister."

"Yes?"

"Yes. His name..." She takes a deep breath. "His name...w-was...Spike."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Richard sits in stunned silence. Never in all his years of studying slayers, particularly this one, has he ever heard such a tale. He doesn't know whether to believe her or not. William the bloody sacrificing himself to save the world? He knew a little about this ones tendency to allow vampires into her inner circle, but he suspects that perhaps this flaw is coloring her memory of the event. He will certainly have to take this up with Giles.

"Buffy?" She is still sitting across from him in the chair, but she may as well not even be there. Her memories and her obvious grief have transported her to somewhere beyond his reach. "Miss Summers?" Slowly she comes back to herself.

"I-I'm so sorry, Richard, I...zoned out for a bit. Do you mind?" She stands slowly, her breathing erratic as if she's just been exerting herself somehow.

"Of course not." He rises with her as she turns to go. "Oh, Buffy." He calls after her as she reaches the door.

"Yes?" She turns to him.

"I'd almost forgotten. " He walks over to the corner and picks up a small cardboard cube. "I...I brought this for you." Buffy frowns and look at the object as he places it on the desk. She walks over to it.

"What is it?"

"It's a gift. For you. I hope you don't mind. It's just that...I've admired you for so long. It's...well, quite embarrassing. It's just a little tribute to you."

Buffy fingers the flaps of the box and feels the seam of the tape keeping it closed. She uses a little strength to pull away the binding and opens it up. As she reaches into the shipping popcorn, her hand rests on something solid and metal. She grabs onto it and pulls it out, careful not to spill the popcorn all over Giles' precious oriental rug.

Richard's eyes grow wide as he watches her reaction to the chaste silver, antique candelabra she pulls out of the box. The designwork is exquisite and her eyes roam lovingly over the intricate details. Her mouth drops open in admiration at its craftsmanship and quality.

"Oh...wow." Buffy turns it around in her hands. It is heavy. Solid. The silver warm to her fingers, and getting warmer still, though it is probably a trick of her imagination. The figures carved into the metal are people, men and women, dressed in what looks to be nightgowns. All are in various stages of sleep; some yawning, some dreaming, their faces contorted. It is a beautiful piece of work.

"I can't accept this, it's-"

"You must, Buffy. I got it for you in Hungary when Giles told me you weren't sleeping well." She looks up at him, her brow creasing. "I'm sorry, I know it's rather personal and presumptuous of me, but please. Please accept it...as a token of my respect and admiration."

Buffy sighs as her eyes fall back onto the candelabra. "It's beautiful." She turns back to him, smiling brightly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Legend has it that lighting this before you retire will help you to sleep and to have pleasant dreams."

"Well, I'm willing to give it a shot." She laughs lightly. He chuckles in return. "Thanks again. We'll...talk some more. Soon." She smiles and with that, leaves the room taking her gift with her.

"That we shall, Miss Summers. That we shall." Richard sits back down at the desk, steepling his fingers in front of his mouth, and smiles.

TBC Chapter 5: I Was Brought to My Senses