Chapter 6 of How Many Days by Xionin

Title: You Still Touch Me – (Chapter 6 of How Many Days)
Disclaimer: Joss doesn't play with his toys anymore. Someone has to, dammit!
Rating: R
Pairing: Buffy/Spike, Dawn/Other, Willow/Giles, Willow/Other
Summary: Post-Season 7. This is a sequel to 'Don't Stop the Dance'
Distribution: Anywhere you like, just let me know.
Feedback: is welcome. ~Xionin (xionin@beautiful-freak.com)
Thank you: Pam and Maribel: my wonderful betas. You're both too wonderful for words.

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Another night finds me alone
In my dreams you still touch me
Your picture by my telephone
In that smile you still thrill me
Now if I sleep, I sleep here alone
In my bed tonight you still haunt me
And if I'm falling, I'm falling like a stone
In my nightmares you still hold me. -Sting

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You Still Touch Me

He's such an attentive lover, Buffy thinks herself the luckiest girl in the world. Every time he touches her it feels like the first time. She trembles at the coolness of his breath against her skin. Her body sings with delight at the soft brushes of his fingertips and the words of desire riding the waves of his lusty baritone. Tonight she lays spread out before him and his blue eyes dance with longing. Moonlight from her window bathes one side of him in silver glory, while the soft glow of the candlelight accentuates the valleys of his features. Sometimes she swears she can see the graceful figures, cast in the silver, straining their necks to see him.

Oh how she's missed his alabaster perfection.

"Let me kiss you." His voice drips over her and she nods imperceptively before his mouth descends on hers in a searing kiss that leaves her breathless. Their tongues circle each other in a languid dance that brings low moans to Buffy's throat and knowing grins to Spike's lips. Breaking the kiss he looks down at her flushed skin and half-lidded eyes.

"Let me touch you." He slides his fingers through her hair, running them down her neck and along her collarbone, down the valley between her breasts, over her stomach and resting at the apex of her legs. His nails lightly rake the coarse hairs there sending pleasurable waves through her. He settles himself between her legs.

"Let me taste you." His fingers part her secret folds as his tongue lightly samples her wetness. His moan sends vibrations to her very core. He licks her expertly, sending her into indescribable ecstasy. Her muscles begin to convulse almost immediately, but he slows his ministrations. Alternating between licking and sucking, he knows exactly what she needs and when.

"Spike-" she moans aloud, writhing beneath him. She feels his smile against her flesh.

"Shhhhh, luv." One slender finger slips inside her as his mouth continues its assault. Her eyes are fluttering, and he knows she has only moments left to her. Sensing her impending release, Spike re-doubles his efforts, adding another slim finger to her wet channel, curling to find the spot that will drive her over the edge. The orgasm hits with a force that robs her of precious air, her mouth forming a perfect 'o' as a silent scream scrapes her throat.

Her inner walls are still pulsating when he enters her with long, hard thrusts. Buffy's climax extends itself infinitely, wrapping her up in pleasure so intense and blinding that when he finally cries his release, she only has tears for having been so moved.

"Spike, oh Spike." She whispers, feeling his weight collapse on her in fatigue.

"Quiet, luv. Don't break the spell." The whispered words tickle her where his lips rest against the curve of her neck. They lay in a moist tangle of flesh until he slides out of her and moves to stand.

"No!" She grabs for him desperately as he slides out of the sheets. "Stay, please stay."

"You know I can't, my darling." A sad smile plays on his lips as he brushes the hair back from her face. He is absolutely stunning in his naked form and Buffy sheds fresh tears at the thought of waking up again without him at her side. She nods and closes her eyes. "I love you."

"I love you, Spike." When she opens them, he is gone and she is once again alone in her cavernous room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It has been a month since the dreams changed. Every night since that fateful day in May of last year, she's had dreams of Spike but one month ago, just after Dawn's birthday, the dreams took on a new timbre. They became more and more vivid; more and more fulfilling. Where before she'd awakened to faint memories of his fiery touches and his eloquent declarations of love, she now awakes with more physical evidence of their encounters.

At first she'd been embarrassed, thinking the fingerprints and tiny scratches that covered her body were self-induced. She soon realized that many of them she simply couldn't have done herself. It was then that she began to monitor his appearances in her dreams more closely. She soon discovered that she wasn't always asleep when he came. That could only mean one thing: Spike, in some form, was really there.

Somehow, he had been given back to her and she had resolved to find out how. But when she finally stopped their lovemaking long enough to ask, he'd gotten a hurt look in his eyes.

"Isn't it enough that I'm here, luv?" He'd replied. "Do you have to know how or why? Let's just be thankful for this time. Maybe it's our reward for saving the world." And then he'd smiled and her heart had melted and she'd felt foolish for questioning such an amazing gift.

Having him back at all is a miracle, even if it is only for stolen moments of passion in the middle of the night. Still she misses their talks and their moments of quiet observation where they could hold a conversation without uttering a single word. But he's asked her not to tell anyone of their secret encounters and she has no intention of risking what little they do have left.

During the day, however, it has become increasingly more difficult to concentrate. The lack of sleep has left her listless and easily agitated. Giles, on more than one occasion, has asked her if she was feeling ill, saying that she looks pale and drawn.

She shrugs it off as fatigue, he and Dawn attribute it to her grief, which is a partial truth, after all. None of them really understand what she's been through over the last year. Dawn has the best idea, but even she feels that it is time to move on.

"Spike wanted you to live, Buffy. I know you're not ready for another relationship, but you need to do more than just work.
Go out. Have a little fun. You need it."

"I know Dawn, I-it's just...I'm not feeling up to it. B-but I will. Real soon, I promise."

She hasn't told her about the dreams, but she wonders if she somehow already knows. Dawn has displayed some rather startling insight into Spike over the last year. Everyone assumes that it is an after-effect of the light from the amulet. Willow accredits Dawn's oft-glowing eyes to the moment she'd been hit with the beam. She can't, however, account for the times when the young woman seemed to 'channel' Spike. Nothing that Willow found out from Angel about the amulet has shed any new light on the situation.

Dawn sometimes uses phrases that are identical to his; even snatches of private conversations. Initially, it caused some tension between the sisters, having such intimate moments locked in the younger Summers' memories. But they've learned to work through the episodes and they've become more infrequent, as the year has gone on. The worst example had been earlier in the year at Dawn's birthday party.

Buffy curses the sunlight as it slips through the heavy brocade curtains on her windows. There's no use pretending it's nighttime when the room is bathed in orange, so she groans as she tosses the duvet off and sits up. Her body, naked and still moist from last evening's passion, is covered in love bites and other small abrasions. She winces and smiles, feeling a blush creep up her neck and land on her cheek as she remembers their fierce coupling.

She stands on shaky legs and crosses over the thick oriental rug to her private bath. Turning on the hot water for the shower, she changes her mind and opts for a long, soaking bath to relieve the tensions in her well-used muscles. Slipping into the warm water and bubbles, she recalls the last month and smiles at her secret nightlife. Spike. Back. And only for her; for them. Her days were spent in research and instruction, but her nights...her nights were his. Theirs.

She stretches out her limbs and ignores the tiny alarm in her head that tells her this just isn't right. She doesn't care about 'right.' She doesn't want to be right if it means giving him up. She yawns. She's been missing a lot of sleep and she tells herself that's why she's so tired lately.

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Going through the course of her day is a chore. Not that she doesn't love her new career, helping slayers rather than being one, she just finds the hours an obstacle to her real life; the one she has with Spike in the cover of darkness. When her evening defense class is cancelled for a field trip, Buffy hurries back to the main house and races up to her suite. When she enters, closing the door behind her, he is already there. The ever-present candles are burning low in the candelabra and the soft Spring breeze billows the sheer white curtains through the heavier ones and into the bedroom, making it seem like a dreamscape.

"You're early, my love." His voice appears behind her as she steps further inside. She closes her eyes and surrenders to his closeness, a smile playing on her trembling lips.

"I missed you so much." Her voice is breathy and labored. Already she is aching with need and he hasn't even touched her yet.

"And I you, pet." He traces a soft fingertip along the back of her neck and it sends shivers down her spine. "Undress for me." His voice is like satin, sliding over her nerves, calming her fears, soothing her pain.

She opens her eyes and turns to him. He is standing barefoot in black jeans and a black shirt that is unbuttoned, the hunger in his eyes is unmistakable. Buffy slowly raises her hands to her blouse and begins freeing the buttons from their hold, her gaze never breaking from his.

"Slowly, luv." He whispers and she can smell the tobacco and a hint of whiskey. She slows her movement to an excruciating pace, enjoying the desire reflected in his eyes as he follows her hands through their task. When she undoes the last button, he reaches out a hand and starting at the hollow of her throat, lightly traces a path down her torso, across her collarbone, down the valley of her breasts; circling her navel and resting on the slight swell of her belly. He does this every time and, each time, it stops her heart for just a second.

"So beautiful."

She smiles as he moves into her space and slips his fingers into the waistband of her skirt, sliding it down over her hips until it drops to the floor. He holds her hands as she steps out of it and then slips the silk of her blouse over her arms and drops it as well. Her nipples respond to the exposure, both to the night air and to his presence. He bends to the right and languidly drags his tongue across the hardened flesh. Buffy's head rolls back as she moans, her hands instinctively reaching out to hold his biceps. He places his hands lightly on her waist and continues his slow assault, soon moving to the left to give equal attention there.

Spike slips his shirt off and quickly shrugs out of his jeans until he is naked before her, his erection bobbing helplessly against her abdomen. His cool hands slide around her and down the curve of her buttocks, kneading the warm flesh. Her arms slip around his back as she presses herself to him. His mouth finds the bend of her neck and he places fervent kisses there, nibbling the soft skin and licking her pulse point.

"Oh...Spike!" Buffy gasps as he brings one hand between them and slips his fingers inside the fabric of her thong to the wet heat there. Quickly he rips away the offensive fabric and grabs her thighs, hoisting her up and down onto his member in one hard thrust. They both cry out as the connection is made, Buffy trembling in his arms as he walks them over to the bed.

Laying her down, he begins to pump into her in slow, measured movements of his hips; grinding his pelvis against her in each downward motion. She clutches at him, her head thrashing back and forth at the maddening pleasure coursing through her. There is no refuge from an onslaught like this, only the waves and waves of ecstasy that only he can bring her.

"Spike..ohgod ohgod ohgod...Spike!" She cries out incoherently.

"Buffy!" Spike quickens his pace as the pleasure overtakes him, the need driving him to the inevitable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn skips up the stairs to Buffy's rooms to tell her the big surprise. She's been accepted into the Linguistics program at the UCL and she cannot wait to share the news with her sister before Colin comes to pick her up for a celebratory dinner. She's worked so hard to make up for the time she'd missed in school over the previous year, working with tutors to make up for being woefully under-educated in the Sunnydale school system. Her work with Giles and Colin had given her a head start and probably saved her another year in secondaries. She knows that her sister will be proud.

And Colin...well, Colin has been amazing. Sweet and kind; gentle and most of all patient. He'd taken her out a few days after her 18th birthday, for that private celebration, and by the end of the evening he'd officially become her first love. Since then, they've been nearly inseparable. And since he belongs to the wild and wacky world of Watchers and Vamps, she feels completely comfortable sharing her life with him. The only thing she hasn't been able to open up to him about is her origins. She'd almost slipped when he'd asked her where she was born.

But Colin is a perfect boyfriend. Dawn would even go so far as to call him her best friend...outside of Buffy, that is. The two of them are the world to her, along with Willow and Giles. Even Richard has worked his way into their little family. She has definite grandpa-type feelings towards him, which is understandable considering the father-figure he is to Colin.

Dawn slows her pace as she muses over the people in her life. A year ago she wondered if she would see the next day, now she's planning a future and she doesn't have to worry so much about her loved ones not returning at the end of the day. Nope. No apocalypses for two hundred and ninety-seven days...and counting. She smiles to herself. Life is...not bad. Not bad at all. She may even be pressed to say it was pretty good.

As she approaches Buffy's door, she is stopped by the sound of moaning. She slows to a crawl and, peeking around first to see if anyone's looking, presses her ear to the door and stifles a giggle.

Buffy has a boyfriend? A lover? And she didn't tell anyone?

"Oh...god...don't stop. Spike...don't stop!"

Dawn's eyebrows knit. Spike? Her heart sinks as she realizes Buffy must be dreaming. She shakes her head at having so easily dismissed her sister's grief. She knows that it will be a long time before Buffy is ever able to date anyone else, let alone make love with them. Dawn starts to turn around and let her be when she hears his voice.

"Shhh...Buffy...quiet, luv."

What the-

Dawn doesn't think twice as she throws open the door and beholds the two figures on the bed. Two blonde heads turn towards her, both with varying expressions of shock on their faces. Spike jumps to his feet and backs away. Buffy covers herself and jumps up between them.

"Dawn!"

Dawn glares at the man standing next to her sister, the scowl unmistakable as her eyes flash a brilliant yellow. As Buffy's movements catch her attention, she shifts her focus to her and the blonde gasps. Dawn grits her teeth, shaking her head, and turns back towards the other figure but he has vanished. She storms forward, towards the open window, and looks out but there is no sign of him.

"Who or what the fuck was that?" She turns back to Buffy who is shaking with rage.

"Get out." Buffy's voice is low; a dangerous whisper.

"I want to know Who. That. Was!" Dawn cocks her head, regarding her sibling with no small amount of disgust.

"I said GET OUT!" Buffy screams and grabs Dawn by the forearm and practically throws her towards the door. Dawn stumbles, but catches herself. She spins around and grabs Buffy by the shoulders.

"I don't know who you thought that was, but it wasn't Spike." She keeps her voice steady and calm, as if she's addressing a small child, but her wrath is more than apparent. "Get dressed, Slayer. I want you downstairs in 5 minutes." With that she opens the door and whips out her cell phone.

Buffy can only watch as the door swings closed behind her younger sister. She sinks down onto the floor, exhausted and crying. Spike had fled. Will he ever come back? She'll never forgive Dawn if she's driven him away.

She briefly entertains the idea of slipping out of the window after him, but she has no idea where he's gone. Instead she jumps into a pair of sweatpants and a tank, throws on her robe and sits down to collect herself. She now has to explain how he'd come back, and she doesn't even know the answer. Flying back down the steps to the library, Dawn contacts Giles.

"Rupert get back to the main house. Now. And bring the witch. We have problem. No. It's Buffy. Yes. Right away." She flips the phone shut as she heads for the shelves and scours through them for information, anything, that will tell her just what the hell that was and why it looked so much like Spike. She's trying hard not to wonder just how long it had been fucking her sister.

When no one answers the after-hours bell, Colin lets himself in with his 'emergency' key. He wanders from the parlor to the study before coming to a stop at the threshold to the library. Dawn is hunched over the center table with several thick volumes, her hair hanging haphazardly in her face, fingers pouring over the yellowed pages of obscure texts as she flips through them viciously.

"Dawn?" He moves tentatively into the room, inhaling sharply when she looks up at him. Her eyes are wild, angry and...

Gold.

"Shit-" he mutters. "Not again."

TBC - Chapter 7: Almost There

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A/N: So, did you expect that? Probably not. Confused? probably yeah. Don't worry, it'll all be clear soon.
Let me chat with my peeps a bit:
Rana, Rana, Rana...what can I say. You make it all worthwhile. Thanks for sending me smilies and recipes!
Helen - sometimes it's the small words that say everything. So thanks again for keeping an eye out for me.
Ali - welcome back, sweetheart. Glad to see you again. ::hugs::
Mon - I know this isn't what you had in mind, but be careful what you wish for. ;]
Spygrrl - why would you suspect him of anything, hmm?
Wolf116 - I am going to have to send you a box of tissues, sweetie. They're good tears, though. Right?
Lia - You know I have a soft spot for Dawn. I was so angry when they made her the annoying lil sis. She could have been
so much more. Well, now she will be.

See you all soon!

~Xio