Chapter 12 - Daughters

It took Sam longer to recover from the birth of Maddie that she had expected. Though she was in peak physical condition, the trauma of the birth took a lot out of her; both physically and emotionally. When it came time to come home after 5 days in the infirmary, Jack was more than ready. He knew they all needed to get back into some sort of routine, especially with Grace and JJ. The two children, though well behaved and fairly flexible in their own right, had missed being with their parents, especially their mother. And while Jack had only stayed overnight that first night with Sam, it just wasn't the same for the children. He realized too, that Sam needed to be with her other children. She had perked up whenever they arrived for a visit, but seemed quiet and contemplative in their absence. She had even seemed remote when Thor popped into the infirmary to offer his congratulations on the birth of their third child. She'd offered a thankful smile when he professed his intention to name the final ship in the Fleet of the Samantha Carter Madeyln Joyanna, but had not engaged much in the conversation after that.

Even when Jacob stopped in to visit, Sam had seemed a bit distant, a fact that hurt Jacob terribly, though he didn't voice his thoughts about the matter. He silently hoped his only daughter wasn't angry with him for his long absences in the lives of his grandchildren. Jack, noticing the rather stilted exchange between the two, had pulled him aside and explained the circumstances of Maddie's birth in more detail. Jacob had gained an understanding then of his daughter's emotions, but still felt slightly hurt... and maybe a bit guilty that he hadn't been there for her. Jack assured him that Sam wasn't upset with him and he should stop back in a few weeks and visit once they had gotten Maddie settled. Jacob had readily agreed, gave Sam a kiss good-bye, and left the infirmary, concern for his daughter written all over his features.

Jack had approached Janet on their fourth day in the infirmary, his concern over Sam's unusual behavior starting to worry him. She had experienced the 'baby blues' to some degree after JJ and Grace were born, but nothing like this. Janet had assured him that Sam's behavior was normal, especially after having undergone an emergency C-section. In such circumstances, many women underwent feelings of guilt and inadequacy as mothers, no matter how unfounded those assertions might be. Janet told Jack to remain supportive and not allow Sam time to wallow in any feelings of guilt, but to rejoice in the healthy birth of their daughter.

Jack had tried to do just that, sitting with her, holding her, and assuring her of his love for both her and the newest little O'Neill. He saw signs of her old self returning when he regaled her with tales of JJ and Grace and was hopeful that she would bounce back once they returned home.

And so, after five days in the infirmary, Jack eagerly packed up his wife and new baby and prepared to bring them home. JJ and Grace were just as eager for their mother's return. They had gone shopping with Daniel and Teal'c and purchased a few items to welcome both her and their new sister home. And a few things for themselves…after all, they were new big brothers and sisters, weren't they? When they big day finally arrived, the two children were filled with gleeful exhuberation when their mother walked in the door, carrying their tiny sister in her arms.

Sam tried to be happy and cheerful for their sakes, she really did. But she was still so sore and tired. She passed Maddie off to Jack almost as soon as they entered the house and sat on the couch, listening to Grace and JJ babble on about their days, but she wasn't really there. Her glance kept straying to the tiny baby, now lying in the bassinet that had held both JJ and Grace…the baby that they had almost lost. Sam's eyes teared up at the thought and she brushed them angrily away. She knew Maddie was fine now, for Janet had assured her that the little girl was the picture of health. But Sam still couldn't keep the thoughts away that she had somehow caused the traumatic entry into the world for her youngest child.

Jack, seeing his wife's teary gaze, set about distracting the children. "Ok, you two. Mommy and Maddie need to rest for a while. Why don't you go play in the backyard, OK? I'll be out there in a minute and bring you each a popsicle."

With shouts of delight, the two children happily complied with their father's request. They both pressed wet kisses to Sam's cheek before rushing outside to enjoy the beautiful June afternoon.

Jack came to sit on the couch, drawing Sam into his arms. "Hey, everything is going to be fine, Sam. We're home now. The kids are so excited to have you back again." He drew away and ran his hand through her hair. "What's wrong, honey?" he questioned as he saw the tears form anew in her eyes.

Once again, Sam angrily brushed them away. "I don't know, Jack. I'm sorry I'm acting like this. I really am glad to be home again with you and the children. It's just…"

"What Sam? Jack asked gently, cupping her chin and forcing her to look at him. "What is it?"

Her eyes looked into his pleadingly. "I'm just so afraid something is going to happen to Maddie, Jack. She had such a rough start, one that I still feel some blame for. And what about JJ and Grace? I'm not going to be able to give them the attention they're used to. With two children, it wasn't so bad, but now with three?"

Jack pulled her close, one arm around her shoulders, the other gently holding the back of her head. "Shh, everything is going to be fine. Janet and Dr. Marrow both assured us that Maddie is strong and healthy. We've talked about her birth, Sam. You have nothing to feel guilty about. These things sometimes happen, but Maddie is just fine. And Grace and JJ will be fine too. I'm going to be here for them as well, remember? And I think their daddy is one of their favorite playthings," he grinned into her hair and felt his heart lift as he heard an answering chuckle. "They're getting to be more independent, Sam. They'll understand that the baby needs more of your time right now. They love you and they love Maddie. Yes, it's going to be a little chaotic around here, but when haven't our lives been chaotic?" he tried to assuage her fears with a warm smile.

Sam pulled back and looked up into his face, then smiled softly in return. "You are an amazing man, Jack O'Neill. I love you so much."

His smile widened. "I love you too, sweetheart. We're in this together, and don't you forget it!" Then he pulled her in for a kiss, feeling a sense of relief for the first time in many days.

Their moment of closeness was interrupted by the back door banging closed and Grace running into the living room. "Mommy, look! I gots some flowers for you!" she called excitedly as she came over to her mother and thrust a handful of daisies, roots and all, at her mother.

Sam sat up a little straighter, a surprised, slighty wary look on her face. "Oh my, Grace, these are…well, they're just beautiful. But where did you get them?" she asked the little girl, a look of puzzlement on her face as she brushed errant clumps of dirt off of her lap.

"Outside," Grace replied happily.

Jack groaned and rubbed his hand across his face. "Please don't tell me you got them out of the neighbor's yard, Grace Aeryn."

Grace's smile faltered as she replied quietly, "Ok, daddy."

"OK…what?" he asked in trepidation.

"I won't tell you that I gots them out of Mrs. Grundley's garden."

Sam bit her lower lip to hold back a smile as Jack groaned even louder. He narrowed his eyes as he took in her amusement. "Easy for you to find this amusing, mommy. You don't have to face the wrath of Mrs. Grundley," he muttered as he got to his feet. Holding out his hand to Grace he said, "Come on you little miscreant. If I have to talk to Mrs. Grundley, you're coming with me."

Grace, not realizing that she was in a bit of trouble here, smiled back at her mommy before skipping off alongside her daddy. Sam let the smile she was holding in blossom full force when she heard Grace ask, "Daddy? Maybe we can gives Mrs. Grundley a Popsicle too. She might like that."

She chuckled out loud when Jack replied, "I don't know, Gracie. The woman's kind of chilly already."

When she heard the back door slam, Sam turned toward her youngest daughter. Easing slowly off of the couch, she went to stand beside the bassinet and stared down at the sleeping child for several long minutes. Then reaching in, she drew Maddie gently out and held her close, reveling in the feeling of the small bundle of warmth pressed against her chest. Maybe things would be all right after all, she thought, as she pressed a soft kiss to the baby's head.

-----

The first week home had gone well. Maddie was a remarkably good baby, only crying when she was wet, hungry, or tired and not given to long fussing jags. After a few days, JJ and Grace had become used to her cries and they no longer came running whenever they heard her, though Grace was more apt than JJ to stick close to her mother. JJ preferred to be outside, running and playing with the few boys in the neighborhood his age.

Sam was planning on spending the next three months home, though she would remain on call if there was a dire emergency at the base. She was hoping to ease back into her work schedule once her three months were up. Jack would resume his work schedule in another two weeks but, like Sam, would be available should there be an emergency. Teal'c had agreed to act as Training Consultant in his place and readily took to the task of training some of the newer SG teams for off-world action.

Sam was truly grateful that Jack was home with her. Though she seemed to be getting over her case of the baby blues, she still had moments where she felt overwhelmed by it all. In those instances, Jack was there both to assure her that she was doing fine and to take the older children off of her hands for a while. And of course, JJ and Grace provided her with endless moments of love and humor; especially Grace.

Sam chuckled as she recalled how, that first day they were home, Grace had asked if the new teddy bear in Maddie's crib had also come out of mommy's tummy. When Sam had responded no, that General Landry had sent it, Grace had seemed rather disappointed.

Even though the little girl spent much time with her younger cousin, she was intensely curious about everything having to do with the baby; her feedings, changing her diapers, and most especially the small umbilical stump that had remained on her stomach for a few days after they got home.

"Mommy, what is that black thing on Maddie's tummy?" she'd asked the second day they were home.

"Oh, that's just a part of the umbilical cord," Sam had explained. "It's a long cord that attaches a mommy and baby, so that the baby can get food and blood from the mommy while inside her tummy. That's why everyone has a belly button, because it's where they were once connected to their mommies."

Grace frowned as she tried to picture what mommy was telling her. Quizzically, she looked up at Sam. "Like a 'traw?"

Sam smiled at Grace as she finished changing Maddie's diaper. "Well, I guess it is in a way like a straw. But it's not hollow, or empty, like a straw is."

Grace pressed her face close to Maddie's bare tummy, then wrinkled her nose. "It's kinda 'tinky and looks like dried worms. You 'member those worms that JJ left in the pail at the lake? They gots all dried and ucky, like Maddie's 'tump."

Sam laughed out loud at that comment as she finished dressing Maddie and lifted her into the cradle of her arms. "Yes, I guess it does look a bit like that. But it should fall off in a few days, then no more stump," she assured the little girl.

Grace lifted her shirt and looked at her own belly button. "Then Maddie will looks like me!" she said proudly, grinning up at her mother.

"Yes, she will baby," Sam smiled as she bent to kiss Grace on the head.

True to her mommy's word, Maddie's umbilical stump fell off two days later. Grace tried to talk daddy into letting her put it under her pillow. JJ had recently had a visit from the tooth fairy for his first lost tooth…maybe the tooth fairy wouldn't notice that the stump wasn't a tooth and leave Grace some money too? Daddy had made that funny face that he sometimes did and told her the tooth fairy would definitely notice, and he had thrown it away. Grace had been a bit disappointed in that outcome.

Sam chuckled to herself as she recalled the incident; Grace was such an open, curious four year old but she sure came up with some outlandish ideas sometimes! She had changed from a quiet, shy toddler into an inquisitive preschooler who seemed to have boundless questions about everything.

"Hey, no giggling," Jack said as he came up behind Sam and pressed a kiss into the side of her neck. She was sitting in an arm chair, nursing Maddie. Jack reached under the blanket covering Sam and brushed a gentle hand across the top of Maddie's downy head before he took a seat opposite Sam.

"I was just thinking about Grace and the umbilical cord stump," Sam explained with a smile.

"Oiy," Jack said with a grimace. "I was half expecting her to dig that thing out of the garbage and put it under her pillow; just to see if she might be right after all." They shared a laugh, then quieted down as the object of their amusement entered the living room.

"Hi, daddy," Grace said, climbing up onto Jack's knees without a second thought.

"Umpf! Hey, what did you have for lunch? You're getting awfully heavy, young lady," Jack teased her. Grace giggled at him, then leaned back against his chest, watching as Sam nursed the baby. Though Sam had explained to both children the process of breastfeeding, she was always very discreet about it when the children were around, covering herself and Maddie with a light blanket.

Pulling Grace's attention from her mother, Jack asked, "Where's your brother Grace? Should we see if he wants to go to the park?"

Grace shook her head. "He's playing wif Billy," and she frowned at the name. Grace was not overly fond of Billy; the boy liked to tease her and sometimes, when JJ wasn't watching, he pulled Grace's hair.

"Well, you and I could go," Jack offered, not wanting the little girl to feel abandoned.

"No. I wants to stay wif mommy," she replied. Then she climbed off his lap and went over to Sam. Grace stood to the side of the chair, watching for a minute before she leaned forward, resting her crossed arms on the arm of the chair and listening as her blanket covered sister suckled beneath. "Does Maddie gets chocolate milk, mommy? I really likes chocolate milk," she added with a wistful sigh.

Sam shot Jack a look as he snorted from across the room, then turned her gaze on Grace. "No, sweetheart. Maddie doesn't get chocolate milk, only plain milk from mommy."

"Oh," Grace sighed. "Maybe she wouldn't cry so much if you gived her chocolate milk sometimes."

Sam just smiled, knowing that Grace didn't expect an answer. Her next question, however, demanded one. "Will I get bumps like you when I gets bigger?" the little girl asked, looking at her mother's partially covered chest.

An even louder choke of laughter came from across the room, this time causing Grace to turn and look and Sam to throw a glare in that direction. "Sorry," Jack mumbled. "Just a little bit of a cough," he lamely explained as he coughed faintly into his hand, all the while he gave Sam a mischievous wink.

Deciding to answer the question as vaguely as possible, Sam said, "When you get big like mommy, your chest will be bigger, Grace. And then, when you have your own baby, you can feed her like mommy is feeding Maddie."

Grace cocked her head to the side, lost in thought for a minute. The she lifted up her yellow t-shirt and looked at her own chest. "Does the baby suck on the nibbles to gets the milk out?" She pointed to her own tiny nipples.

Jack groaned and covered his face with his hands, then stood up, ready to intervene if necessary.

Ignoring her husband for the moment, Sam answered gently, "Yes, Grace. That's where a mommy's milk comes out. But you will have to wait a long time for that to happen to you."

"Damn right," Jack muttered under his breath as he stood beside Grace. Then, squatting down next to her, he gently tugged her shirt back down and rested his hands on her hips. "How about you and daddy go and have some chocolate milk and some of those cookies Mrs. Nelson sent over?"

Successfully distracted, Grace's eyes lit up as she replied, "Oh goody! I loves Mrs. Nelson's cookies. Hers isn't burnded like mommy's."

At Sam's protest of "Hey!" Grace gave her an innocent smile, then scampered off into the kitchen, light brown curls dancing on her shoulders as she left.

Jack slowly got to his feet and shot Sam a baleful look. "I am so not ready for…more of those discussions," he stated, his hand waving absently in the direction Grace had gone.

Sam chuckled as she lifted the now full baby to her shoulder and patted her lightly on the back. "She's just curious, Jack. I'm sure she'll forget all about it after she has her snack."

"Yeah, until the next time she sees you nursing Maddie." He bent and pressed a kiss to Maddie's head before stalking off to join Grace.

Jack entered the kitchen and moved around getting glasses, plates and their snack ready. He poured a glass of milk for Sam as well, knowing that she too was partial to chocolate milk. He was just about to take his seat next to his daughter when he had to stifle a groan at her next question. "Daddy, does you gots nibbles too?"

-----

Maddie was just two days shy of turning a month old when the O'Neill's decided it was time to have a gathering of friends and family to celebrate both Maddie's arrival and Independence Day. And so, on July 4th, Jack was standing at the grill, burning the meat, while family and friends moved around him. JJ, Grace, and Katie Rose were splashing around in the 24 inch deep wading pool Daniel had brought over earlier and set up for their entertainment. The two little girls wore tiny red bikinis, which both Jack and Daniel said would be the last time they wore bikinis at any age. JJ was busy filling pails of water and dumping them down the small slide they had put into the pool, his dark brown hair already plastered to his head.

Janet sat in a chair on the deck, cuddling little Maddie Joy in her arms as she watched her red-headed daughter splash about in the water with her two cousins. To the delight of all, the good doctor had informed her friends that she and Daniel were expecting another little one of their own in 8 months time. As such, she had not been allowed to lift a finger, only to hold the baby.

Sam came out of the kitchen, carrying a salad. She looked fit and healthy in her blue shorts and tank top. Though she bemoaned the fact that she would never lose the tummy bulge from her last child, Jack thought she had never looked more beautiful. Even the pink scar on her lower abdomen did nothing to change his mind in that regard.

She was followed closely by Teal'c and Ishta, bearing trays of food as well. Ishta, while not a frequent visitor to their planet, had happened to be in residence and had been granted permission to leave base and join in the celebration. While the two of them were not officially joined in the tradition of the Jaffa, they were each committed to the other and spent as much time as possible in each other's company. All of their friends were hoping that, one day soon, there would be another marriage to celebrate.

Trailing the two Jaffa warriors was Jacob. As promised, he had returned to visit just this week and had been relieved to find Sam acting once more like her old self. She had tried to apologize for her earlier behavior, but Jacob had just brushed it off, instead pulling her close for a long hug. They had shared a look of understanding, then resumed their normal father/daughter relationship.

Jacob now walked over to where Janet sat and looked down at his newest grandchild. Without a word, Janet stood and offered the sleeping child to him, who he received gratefully. He sank down into the chair Janet had vacated and looked down at this precious child. Her cheeks had filled out in the last month and her blue eyes had lightened considerably. She still sported tufts of pale blond hair that only enhanced her pink skin. Jacob stifled a shiver as he thought how close they had come to losing her almost before she had even arrived.

"She's something else, isn't she?" Jack asked softly from beside Jacob.

Jacob looked up and met his eyes. "Who are you talking about? Sam or Maddie?"

Jack smiled as he took the seat next to Jacob. Teal'c had none too gently informed Jack that Ishta did not care for charred meat and pushed Jack out of the way to take over grilling duties, so Jack had joined his father-in-law. "Well, I was referring to Maddie, but could certainly include Sam in that statement. Grace as well," he added, looking over to where his older daughter was now trying to cajole Daniel into letting them stay in the pool for a few more minutes. Dinner was almost ready and Sam had sent him to get the children out of the pool. The archeologist stood by the pool, holding three towels and trying to convince them it was time to get out.

Jacob let his gaze follow Jack's and he smiled as Grace plopped down into the water, splashing Daniel in the process. "I think he's in over his head." He indicated the now wet Daniel. "She sure is a little spit-fire, that Grace. Reminds me a lot of you," he added with a sidelong glance at Jack.

"Thank you, I think," Jack replied with a smug grin. "What about JJ? He remind you of me as well?" Jack asked with a quirk of his eyebrows. They both turned to the little boy, who was busy building a tower of connecting water tubes, then pouring pails of water down them and observing what they did. He seemed oblivious of the splashing of the two younger girls around him.

Jacob grinned. "Nope. He's Sam all the way. Can't see you sitting still for that long," he indicated the child's deep concentration on his project.

Jack laughed out loud. "I'd have to agree with you there." Then turning back to the baby in his father-in-law's arms, he said, "Wonder what this one will be like?" He ran his hand gently over her soft hair.

Gazing gently down, Jacob replied quietly, "Right now, she's the spitting image of Sam as a newborn. From the patch of blond hair to the dimple I can see forming in her cheek. She's going to be beautiful, just like my Sammie," Jacob sighed wistfully.

Jack looked to Jacob, studying him carefully for a moment. "You OK, Jake?"

Jacob looked up in surprise, startled that he had spoken those last words out loud. He let his eyes rove over to Sam, who was laughing at something Janet was telling her, before letting his gaze meet Jack's. After a few moment of silence, he said, "I envy you Jack. You have something not a lot of men get; a second chance at having a family." He looked back down at the baby in his arms before he continued quietly. "I wasn't around much when Sammie was little, then when her mother died, I just couldn't…well, I wasn't around then either. When I blended with Selmac, it gave me a second chance to get to know my daughter. And I am so grateful for that Jack, truly I am." Now he looked up with a pained expression in his eyes, "But I so regret not being around more for this." He shifted the baby in his arms meaningfully, then looked out at Grace. "You just don't know how lucky you are, Jack," he added thoughtfully.

Jack glanced down at the baby, over at his wife, and finally to his two children in the pool. "Oh yes I do, Jacob. I may not be the brightest guy around, but I do know that much."

The two men locked gazes for a moment before Jacob nodded, "Yes, Jack. I believe you do." The older man looked over at his daughter once again, and smiled. "Sammie was such a bright, inquisitive child. Sometimes, I'd get so frustrated by her endless questions. Other times, she seemed so small and fragile…I just wanted to wrap my arms around her and keep her safe. Later, when she got older, she distanced herself from me…trying to prove how strong and self-reliant she was." He turned back to Jack. "Daughters are different that sons, Jack. No matter how tough and self-sufficient they seem to be, there will always be that place in their hearts that needs their daddy. And that place in yours that will want to keep her safe."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Jack replied quietly. "When I think of someone trying to hurt one of my girls…well, let's just say, if it ever happened, it wouldn't be a pretty sight." Jack frowned as his thoughts turned to all of the ways his little girls could one day be hurt.

Jacob reached a hand over and placed it on Jack's arm. "It doesn't do any good to dwell on what might happen, Jack. Just be there for them. No matter what, always be there for them." He looked up into the sky as if formulating his next words. "I didn't do a very good job at a lot of aspects of fatherhood, Jack. But I do love Sam so much, and have only ever wanted the best for her." He looked back at Jack and smiled. "And even against my better judgment, I think she found that in you."

There was a moment of comfortable silence between the two men; a silence where each acknowledged how important the other was in the life of the woman who meant so much to both of them. Then Jack broke it as he was wont to do; "Well, Jake, glad that you approve. I mean, after three kids and all, I'd hate to think you wanted us to end this relationship of ours."

Jacob laughed then, the mood lightening considerably. Sam looked over, a question in her eyes. Jack just smiled back at her, then stood up and took his youngest daughter from her grandpa's arms. "Come on, Papa. Let's see if you can help Danny boy get the kids out of the pool."

Jacob grinned as he got to his feet and made his way to the end of the deck. "Hmm, I wonder which of my grandchildren will come and sit next to their Papa for dinner?" he said in an overly loud voice.

"I will, I will!" both children chorused as they scampered out of the pool and grabbed the towels Daniel was holding. Daniel raised his eyebrows at Jacob, wondering how he had gotten the children to comply so quickly.

"Me too!" Katie cried as she too tried to quickly get out of the pool. Her little legs got tangled up in some of the toys in the pool and she went down with a splash, soaking Daniel even more in the process. Her face landed in the water, causing her to come up sputtering and coughing. Feeling his own brief moment of panic, Daniel quickly pulled her out, wrapped a towel around her and cuddled her close, murmuring words of comfort. Katie wrapped her arms around Daniel's neck and pressed her face into the warmth of his neck.

As he came up on the deck, Katie still crying in his arms, Daniel had a look of concern on his face. Jack come over and clapped him on the shoulder. "This isjust the beginning, Danny boy,just the beginning."


Fire fie: Don't worry, there will be more Daniel/Janet/ Katie Rose in upcoming chapters. I keep trying to write Grace and JJ together, but Grace keeps pushing to the forefront. She's a persistent little girl! My own now college-aged daughter used the term "Nibbles" when I had her little sister. Still cracks me up to this day:)