Title: Lazarus Heart - Chapter 13 of How
Many Days
Disclaimer: Joss
doesn't play with his toys anymore. Someone has to, dammit!
Rating: R
Pairing: Buffy/Spike,
Dawn/Other, Willow/Giles, Willow/Other
Summary: Post-Season
7. This is a sequel to 'Don't Stop the Dance'
Distribution:
Anywhere you like, just let me know.
Feedback: is welcome.
xionin
Thank you: Maribel
dusty273 , my amazing beta and amazing friend.
Lyrics: "Lazarus
Heart" by Sting
A/N: A year later,
the story continues. Thank you for being so infinitely patient. Lots of things
are coming. I hope it will be worth the wait.
Enjoy!
Every day another
miracle
Only death will tear us apart
To sacrifice a life for yours
I'd be the blood of the Lazarus heart - Sting
Lazarus Heart
"I insist on coming with you."
"Of course, Colin. I wouldn't dream of-"
"Do you think it's advisable? Moving her when she's...she's-" Colin's voice wavers.
Giles stops his frantic packing and turns to the frightened young man. He notes his disheveled appearance, the concerned look in his eyes; knows all-to-well the abject fear he feels. Dawn has been unstable; slipping in and out of hysteria with only brief moments of lucidity when she appears to be herself. Terrified beyond reason, but still herself. He knows that, under any other circumstances, he would not be dragging her halfway around the world. But Willow insisted.
No. She did more than insist.
There had never been a question in his mind that they were going to L.A. None at all. Willow showed him what was at stake: the life of a young girl who had finally begun to find her place in the world, and the soul of a man that died to save it.
No. No question at all. They were California-bound. And Giles wouldn't dream of going without Colin. The rather obvious fact that he is madly in love with Dawn aside, Colin's training as a Watcher could prove crucial against whatever it is that they will face.
Yes. Colin is coming.
Richard, on the other hand. Well...someone should stay to keep watch over Buffy. No doubt she'll try to catch the next flight to Los Angeles, once she learns of everything. She'll need someone she trusts here to help her think clearly. To keep her grounded.
"Mr. Giles?" Colin's quiet terror brings the Watcher back to the present. He realizes he'd been quiet for sometime and hadn't actually answered the young man's query.
"Er...yes, Colin.
Normally, I would agree with you, but I think we have to concur that the-the
circumstances are rather remarkable. And Willow believes that it is absolutely
necessary."
Colin takes a moment to reflect and then nods mutely.
"Good. Gather Dawn. Her things are being packed by one of the matrons. Meet me in the foyer in 15 minutes. I've chartered a flight to get us there without incident." Giles resumes packing up the books and papers he hopes may provide some assistance.
"Alright." Colin nods firmly and then moves towards the door. "I don't have time to go home and pack anything; I'll just purchase whatever I need there."
"Colin."
Giles's voice stops him and he turns to face the weary man. "I love
her too. Like a daughter, really. We will do everything in our power to make
sure that she is safe."
Colin's eyes meet his in silent understanding before he turns and leaves
the room. Giles exhales and pinches the bridge of his nose. He has to tell
Buffy that they're going to L.A.
He's less concerned with her possible reaction to that news than he is to
how she will respond when he asks her not to come with them. He doesn't
believe that she could handle what they'll be facing. More to the point,
he doesn't believe she could handle the possibility – the mere
possibility that Spike…
He sighs.
"I've failed to protect you so many times, my girl. Not this time." He picks up the phone. "Mrs. Lowell, Rupert here. Yes. Yes, quite. Thank you. Listen, I was wondering if you could check in on Miss Summers the elder. I wan- What? What do you mean gone?" He removes his glasses, alarmed.
"I didn't receive a letter." He swings around and only then notices the small envelope near the frame of the door. "Wait, I think I do see something." He bends to pick up the note and quickly opens it. "Did she say where she was going?" He scans the contents. "Well, how did she seem?" Relief spreads across his face. "A-alright, Mrs. Lowell, th-thank you. I appreciate your candor. Thank you, yes, goodbye." He re-reads the letter more carefully.
Giles,
I need to get away
for a few days, so I've gone down to Leeds. My friend Abby has a quiet
place there and I just want to get my head together.
I know you guys are worried, but
don't be. I'm fine. Ok, I'm not fine, but I will be.
I'm really sorry about hiding everything from you; what I was going through.
I mean, I guess I didn't really know myself how much I was hurting. How
much I am still hurting.
Give me a few days and I promise I'll be right and rainy, or however you put it. Honest, Giles. Don't worry. Please tell Dawn I'm sorry and I love her. You too.
See you soon,
Buffy
That's that, then. They'll be gone and back before she even realizes it. And all will be right as rain. God willing.
" I can't imagine the amount of stress you must be under." Fred enters the room and takes a seat next to Willow. Two feet of the black leather couch separates them. Willow turns her ice-blue eyes to the young brunette and offers a wan smile. "I'm...glad that Wes hasn't cornered you with questions about your...well, your..."
"Being all big with the power?" Willow intercedes. Fred gives the Wicca an apologetic smile.
"Um, yeah." She half-laughs. "Sorry, I mean, I hope you don't think that's all we care about. We're really happy to see you, I-I'm really happy to see you." Willow squeezes her hand reassuringly. "I just wish it weren't another crisis. You know?"
"Yeah." Willow shifts her attention back to the window. Fred studies her profile. "How have things been here?" Willow's question catches her off guard.
"Things?" She nervously straightens the hem of her silk skirt. "Things have been...well, I won't say fine, but they've been challenging. Yes, that's the word: Challenging. We're all adjusting to things."
"Adjusting how?" Willow stands and walks over to the window, resting her forehead on the glass and looking down. Fred follows, standing at her side. Her hands flee to the comfort of her lab-coat pockets.
"We're getting used to having so many resources at our disposal, so much knowledge at our fingertips; having a staff of, gosh, hundreds to help us with our work."
"Help you how?"
"How? Well, we utilize the firm's resources to help the helpless, you know: fight the good fight." Fred smiles, but Willow doesn't turn to receive it. Fred steps a little closer, turning her back on the glass, and studies the other woman. "I, um, know what it must look like – from where you're standing: fighting the forces of evil while living and working with evil. We like to think we're changing the system from the inside."
"Really?" Willow swivels her head against the glass and locks gazes with Fred. "How much have you been able to change the system?"
"Well...you...can't expect things to happen overnight. I mean these things take time. We don't expect to affect immediate changes in everything, I mean, the entire system. We do a little at a time."
"Do you ever get confused?" Willow considers the young woman carefully: Her tired eyes, her nervous hands. This is not someone secure with her place in the world.
"Confused? As in...?"
"As in 'what are we doing here working for the most evil corporation known to man?'. Fred..." Willow peers down the length of the building to the ground. "Once when I was a little girl, maybe 4 or 5, I went to visit my father at his office. It was Daddy/Daughter day." Fred pressed her forehead against the glass.
"I'd always
wondered where my dad worked and when we walked up to his building, it was a
lot like this one, I thought 'cool'."
Both girls smile.
"We rode up on the elevator. And I'm pretty sure that was the longest ride I'd ever been on in one. It was probably only 15 or 20 floors, but it felt like Charlie's glass elevator: endless, you know? Like we were riding into the sky." She laughs softly. "I guess I half-expected to end up in a chocolate factory."
"What did your dad do?" Fred asks.
"He was...an attorney."
"Wow, really?"
"No. Not really. He was a dentist."
"Oh."
"We'll he was pretty ferocious as a dentist; quoting dental hygiene practices the way some lawyers quote statutes." She offers a wry grin. "He was very opinionated. Always right. Always making decisions for my mom and me. Not listening to our needs." Her head tilts, as if listening to something far away, before she speaks again. "People do that, when they feel responsible. They make decisions for others that aren't always the best."
"I bet that drove you and your mom crazy."
"Well," Willow peers out over the hazy Los Angeles skyline, feeling an uneasy familiarity at being suspended so high above ground. "My mom was an anthropologist, so there was always that lingering but silent argument about who was the 'real' doctor." She sighs. "I think mom was bitter. Dad never really accepted her successes for what they were and he thought all of her 'crackpot theories' about the plight of indigenous peoples was hooey."
"Did he use words
like 'hooey'?" Fred smiles wistfully. "My dad did too,
but he was usually talking about my scientific interests. He didn't
understand them, but he always supported me."
" Well, I can't say my folks were too proud to find out I was
practicing magic." She shrugs." And, you know, the whole
dating-a-girl thing just never got mentioned. There was just a river of denial
in the
Rosenberg's home."
"Oh, wow. That's sad." Fred frowns, but offers a comforting pat on the shoulder to the distracted Willow. At the first touch, the Wicca flinches and looks at the quiet girl with something akin to horror on her face. Fred withdraws.
"Something wrong?"
"N-no. No." Willow turns away, clearly disturbed.
They both stare through the glass in silence until the ping announcing their arrival at the 39th floor.
"We're here." Fred smiles nervously. Willow, remembering herself, returns the smile and settles back into easiness with the woman escorting her. She's regretful, sometimes, for the endowments that she has been afforded.
So very sorry.
What's the old saying about a gift? A blessing and a curse.
Giles sits surrounded by papers and books in a myriad of languages. The leather of his seat is warm and comforting; a welcome respite from the frenzy of the last 36 hours.
Across from him, Colin cradles Dawn in his arms like she is something precious. He watches as the young people whisper and comfort one another with small touches. Dawn appears to be as concerned for Colin's well being as he is for hers. Of course, she's seen and been through far more than he, so it makes sense. Giles can only imagine how confusing this all must be for the young apprentice. But he has no doubt that he will do just fine, when events unfold. Not only because of his training and pedigree, but also because of his love for Dawn.
He muses a few moments more, grateful for the chance to see proof that love and human kindness are still thriving in times like these, and then returns to his research. He becomes so engrossed that he doesn't feel Dawn slip into the seat next to his.
"I'm feeling better."
"Oh?" He looks up and smiles. "I'm glad to hear it. You gave us quite a scare." Dawn narrows her eyes at him, curious.
"Sorry about that, but I guess we both know that something big is happening – going to happen." She glances over at a dozing Colin. "I haven't said anything to Colin, but I know what's going on." She turns back to a befuddled Giles.
"You do?" he removes his glasses, and sits forward on his seat. Mindful of Colin, he lowers his voice. "How?"
"I just do. It's Spike."
"Spike? Did he do this to you, somehow? Use you to-"
"No, Giles. Nothing like that. But yes. I mean…we all know that something happened in the Hellmouth. Some of Spike ended up in me and I've been carrying that around with me ever since. And now it's time for him to come back. He's coming back, Giles." She begins to shiver. Concerned, Giles feels her forehead.
"Dawn, are you alright?" He hands her a bottle of spring water and she takes a sip. "Perhaps you'd better lie down."
"No, I'm ok. Just tired, I guess. Listen-" She looks down at her hands, seemingly struggling to find the words. "This is right. Spike coming back is good, Giles. He deserves it. Buffy deserves it and they deserve to be together and to finally have that chance. You know?"
"Well, that would be a miracle, I agree, but what aren't you telling me?"
"Nothing. Just…things could get rough. But, Giles, we have to see it through. Things have to be set right. They just have to." She trails off.
"Dawn?" She
doesn't respond. "Dawn? I don't understand. What do you know
of this?" She simply stares off. "Dawn. Dawn!" Giles kneels
before her, shaking her gently in an attempt to rouse her.
Colin wakes up immediately and is at her side.
"What happened?"
"I don't know. We were talking and then she just tuned out, as if her mind just wandered away." The two men lift her and lay her on a couch at the side of the cabin, covering her with a blanket. Colin maneuvers a seatbelt and fastens her in, hovering over her protectively.
"What were you talking about?" Giles stands and walks back to his seat.
"Errr. Nothing of
importance." He takes a deep breath. "I'm sure she'll be
fine once we get to Willow. She'll know what to do, don't
worry."
At least he hopes she does.
"Mr. Giles, this is
the cockpit. We've been cleared to land at Los Angeles
International." Giles watches as Colin secures himself next to Dawn, who
is now sleeping restlessly.
Willow simply must know what to do.
The light is somehow familiar. Warm and inviting, or at least it should be. Not to her, though. To her it seems like an omen. A sign of the horror to come. Bright and even, as if to say 'you will not miss a single moment of your pain.'
She doesn't want to be in this place, but perhaps…it is as it should be. Maybe everything really will be alright.
Your time is coming to a close, blasphemer.
I'm not afraid.
Your fear is irrelevant. However, you were correct.
I was?
All will be right. And soon.
I'm ready.
TBC: Chapter 14 - Gabriel's Message
