I had to get this off my chest. Don't kill me. It happens during fifth year.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, okay?

Harry Potter and the Curse of the Coffee

Harry Potter was so bored. He was the only one in the common room. Hermione was in her spastic OWL's mode so she was probably drowning herself in books in the library. Ron was in the Hospital Wing because he was thinking too much. Poor Ron… And well everyone else, who cares?

His stomach growled. Great now he was bored and hungry. A trip to the kitchens was necessary. Maybe Dobby had coffee. Harry couldn't remember the last time he had a taste of the roasted goodness. He forgot it was because he absolutely goes off the deep end temporally an hour after. Oh well…

An hour after he begged Dobby for a large cup of coffee and chocolate his eyes suddenly went very, verywide.


"What's the matter, mate?" Ron asked. It was not normal for his best friend's eyes to randomly enlarge to the size of dinner plates… right..? His brain still hurt from Hermione's last group study session. Ow...

"Nothing… What makes you say that, oh bestest fwiend of mine?" Harry chirped. Harry Potter does not chirp. Maybe he was on crack or something. Ron wondered if he would share.

"What are you on…?"

Harry looked down at the ground and chirped (again) "The floor!"

This was too much for Ron. He quickly ran off to find a professor or Hermione.


Harry skipped along the dreary floor of the dungeons. He absently hummed "Followed the Yellow Brick Road" under his breath.

He suddenly got an evil idea…

"Factus croceus!" (Become yellow) Suddenly the whole hallway became a bright cheerful yellow. Harry cackled and ran off.


Draco Malfoy wandered into the dungeons and briskly turned around at the yellow because he thought he went the wrong way…


Ron and Hermione were now on an insane Harry Potter hunt.

Harry had already attacked the dungeons by the bright, cheerful color the hall now was.

The two friends exchanged looks and continued on their hunt.


Harry had somehow got into the Chamber of Secrets in his state of mind. "It's too dreary."

Harry didn't find it odd that he was talking to himself.

Somehow he got into the part the basilisk came from. Inside was a dark, dreary room in greens and silvers. With a wave of his wand and a cry of some weird enchantment, the room became a color scheme of neonpink and acidorange.

Harry ran off out of the Chamber and Myrtle's bathroom, while making the loo the same color scheme as the Chamber.


Hermione and Ron groaned when they entered Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Ron actually covered his eyes and the neon color scheme.

An off-key voice that could be identified as Harry's screamed, "Off to the kitchen I go, go, go! Off to the Kitchen I GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Blimey… What is he on?" Ron muttered.

The Harry Hunter's ran off to the kitchens in hope of catching their frenzied friend.


When they entered the kitchens, Mione and Ron didn't expect Harry begging Dobby for more sugar and coffee. So that's what was wrong with him…

Hermione rolled her eyes and cast a sleeing spell on her caffeine-high friend.

After making sure Harry wasn't going to wake up soon, Hermione and Ron went to Professor Dumbledore's office to tell him to see if he could stop the elves from giving Harry caffeine.

Dumbledore laughed and told them it would all be taken care of.

THE END

Or is it…?