Chapter 5

"Nikolas, I'm living at the gatehouse now." Emily said.

"Really? Since when? I thought Ned was living there."

"Nope, Ned is moving back to Besonhurst to be with Lois, and Brooke Lynn. So, after a LOT of pursuing, my parents agreed that since I'm getting older I need my independence." She explained with a proud grin. "It was either this, or me moving out completely and getting my own place." She added.

Nikolas nodded in understandment.

After they left the cottage, Nikolas had taken Emily out to dinner. Emily had fun spending some time with Nikolas and he seemed to be enjoying himself too. Now he was taking her home.

Emily could remember blushing a few times at the way Nikolas was staring at her. He seemed so different. He seemed to be focusing more attention on her than usual. Not that Emily minded. He still made her heart flutter when he stared at her the way he did. It almost made her raging crush come back to life. Almost.

This is Nikolas. She told herself. One of your oldest, and dearest friends. He still thinks of you as little Emily. The little sister. He doesn't have those feelings for you so stop building up false hope. False hope? Did she truly hope that Nikolas did have those feelings for her? Did she have those feelings for him? No, she doesn't. She couldn't. She had those feelings for Julian. Didn't she? Julian was a great guy and everything but he wasn't Nikolas. She refused to give into those growing feelings once again. She had fallen for him once only to have her feelings stomped on. Not that he knew he had hurt her. He never knew how she felt about him. No one did. And no one ever will.

She was with Julian. Just keep telling yourself that Emily. She shouldn't even be thinking of Nikolas in this way. There was just something in his eyes that made Emily think that maybe Nikolas did see her in that way. The way she had always wanted him to see her in. Impossible, she told herself.

Nikolas' car came to a stop in front of the gatehouse and Emily turned to face him. "Do you want to come in and check the place out? I redecorated the entire thing after Ned left. You can see what you got yourself into." She smiled.

"I would love to." With that, he got out of the car and walked around to help Emily out of the passenger's side.

Making their way to the door, Nikolas' hand immediately went to the small of her back, savoring her touch. He waited patiently as she fished out her keys, feeling content just being in her presence. As they made their way inside, Nikolas noticed how the front room looked like an office. "Is this still the headquarters for L&B?" He asked.

"Not really. L&B business has gone down drastically since Robin left."

Nikolas nodded in understandment. "Oh, I see."

He followed Emily towards the back of the office to double doors. He had never actually been in the house-part of the gatehouse. She opened the doors to a very cozy living room.

The room was big and the walls were beige and brown. There was a large white couch in the center of the room facing a wooden entertainment center. Off to the left of the room was a conjoining room that looked as if it were a family room. Inside it had a large fire place and a small sectional couch in front of it. How he longed to cuddle up with Emily in front of a blazing fire.

To the right of the living room there was a spiral staircase going upstairs and next to the stairs was a large kitchen. This place had Emily's name written all over it.

Nikolas turned back to face Emily, who was studying him. "You did all this?" She nodded. "Wow, I'm very impressed."

"Thank you." She smiled brightly. "It was so much fun designing this place. Although I did have a little help from Carly."

He smirked at her. "Well I have no doubt that you will do a fantastic job with my cottage." He walked around the living room, taking in everything. "So, how about the grand tour?"

She smiled. "Sure."

She showed him around the living room, the kitchen, the family room. They started walking upstairs and into her bedroom.

Her bedroom was pink. It had a canopy bed towards the right, right in front of a large window. There was a small dresser next to the bed and next to that is an entertainment center. Against the wall on the other side there was a white desk overflowing with books and papers. There was a small conjoining bathroom and a large walk in closet next to it.

Nikolas smiled at all the clothes on the floor. "I think you need a maid service."

She laughed lightly, embarrassed. "Yeah, I haven't gotten around to cleaning up. Been pretty busy."

He nodded and plopped down onto her bed. "I like it."

She giggled. "I'm glad."

He reluctantly stood up. "Well, I've got to be going. I have a meeting to get to."

Emily sighed. She didn't want him to go. She loved spending time with him like this. When it comes to Nikolas, work was very important. "Ok, I'll walk you out."

They got to the front door and Nikolas turned to her. "I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked hopeful.

She smiled. "Sure." Her heart almost stopped when he pulled her into a hug and kissed her gently on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

She nodded. "Bye."

Nikolas walked briskly into Kelly's, wrapped tightly in his black overcoat. It was a cold evening. The ground was now covered with a blanket of snow. He saw Emily sitting at a table, absently twirling her straw in her soda. He noticed the pile of books on the table and figured she was studying for her exams. She looked broken. Upset. He wondered what was bothering her and decided to find out.

Emily was so lost in thought that she didn't even notice Nikolas sit down across from her until she heard "Penny for your thoughts?"

Startled, she darted her head up at the sound of his voice. She smiled warmly at him. "Hey Nikolas," She dropped her hand from her soda and sat back in the chair. "What's up?" She asked nonchalantly.

"Nothing, I just decided to come down to Kelly's before i starved to death." He joked. "What about you?" He leaned up to take a look at the open Calculus book in front of her. "Studying?"

She seemed confused by the question until she gazed down at her books. "Oh, yeah,"

"In the middle of Kelly's?" He asked with a smirk.

"I just needed a distraction." She knew that wasn't going to be enough from the look on Nikolas' face but it was worth a shot.

"Ok Em, spill. What's wrong?"

It didn't surprise her that he knew something was wrong. He always could see right through her, even when she barley showed her feelings. She sighed heavily. "What makes you say something is wrong?" She asked flatly.

He knew she was dodging the question. She had a habit of doing that. Always afraid that she could never talk to anyone. Make herself feel like she is all alone in the world, even though she never is, or never would be. At least as long as Nikolas had something to say about it. "Em, quit avoiding the question."

"I'm fine Nikolas." She stated, not as convincing as she wanted.

He leaned in real close to her face until she could practically feel his breath on her face. "Has anyone ever told you that you are the worst liar in the world?" He smirked.

She let out a soft, sad laugh. "You always could see right through me."

He leaned back in his chair again, his eyes never leaving hers. "So? Are you going to tell me what's wrong or am i going to have to pry it out of you?" He teased.

She sighed and tore her eyes from his intense gaze. She suddenly found her soda fascinating.

Nikolas' face turned serious and he cupped her chin with his hand so that she would look at him. His heart ached as he saw her eyes well up with tears. "Em?" He said softly.

She sniffled and looked around the slightly crowded diner. "Let's go for a walk, ok?"

He nodded slowly. "Sure." He knew that she needed someone to talk to and he was sure that Kelly's was the last place she wanted to do that. He stood up and helped her put her books into her backpack and carried it out to his car. They walked silently for a few moments. Nikolas didn't know how to start so he decided he would let her lead the conversation. She stopped at an isolated area and sat down at a bench. He sat down next to her and took her hand in his, silently telling her that it was ok to talk to him.

Finally she broke the silence. "My dad was arrested today." She whispered. She kept her gaze on the snow covered ground and Nikolas gently squeezed her hand.

Nikolas' eyes widened. Alan arrested? "Oh my god, what are the charges?" He asked softly. He felt her shiver slightly and he let her hand go and wrapped his arm around her. She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"Second degree murder." She paused and snuggled up to the warmth of his body. "Apparently he was really, really drunk and on a bunch of pills when he had one of his all famous affairs." She paused and took a deep breath. "With a hooker." She finished quietly. "I don't know all the details but I do know that she's dead and my dad is in cuffs because of it." She felt a few tears drop from her eyes as all the events of the day finally caught up with her. She looked up at Nikolas, "What am I supposed to do? I have no idea how one is supposed to react to finding out that a man that you've loved, looked up to and lived with for almost half of your life gets arrested for murder?"

"I don't know." He couldn't believe what she was saying. He didn't know Alan very well but he would never mark him as a murderer. "I guess there's nothing you really can do. Do you believe that he's guilty?" He asked hesitantly.

She sighed and nodded her head softly. "Yea, I do." She wiped her eyes slowly. "Does that make me a horrible person?"

He stroked her hair gently as she talked. All he wanted to do at this moment was hold her close and protect her from the pain. Shield her so that nothing bad could ever happen to her. "Well, why do you think he's guilty?"

She shrugged. "All the evidence points to him. The woman was strangled to death, and his fingerprints were all over her neck." She shifted her gaze back to the ground. "Besides," she sniffled, "he's been known to act out when he's doped up. Known for being violent when he's been using." She whispered.

"What?" He didn't know that Emily could be in danger living in that house with him. "Has he ever been violent towards you?" He asked, nervously waiting for the answer. If he ever, ever laid a hand on her he would kill him himself.

"No, he's never hit me or anything. I mean, we've gotten into really big arguments while he was… that way, but never anything physical." She hesitated before continuing, "Although I've seen him hit my mom before."

Nikolas couldn't believe his ears. "Emily, how come you never went to the police with this?"

"Because I only saw it once. I wanted to go to the cops and turn him in right then and there." She slightly turned her body towards his. "Nikolas, you have no idea how angry I was when I saw that. I was filled with such hatred towards him for even laying a finger on her."

"Why didn't you?" He asked.

"I didn't because directly afterward, my mom pleaded with me not to turn him in. She told me that he loved her and that he would never do it again. That he was getting help for the alcohol and the drugs." She rested her head back on his shoulder and took a deep breath, willing herself not to shed anymore tears. "I didn't believe her, but I forced myself too. Maybe because I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think about Alan doing any harm to my mom after she stuck by him through so much. I can't even face her or the rest of the family."

"I think they need you the most right now."

Emily stiffened at the idea of facing them. "Don't you see Nikolas? I could have prevented this entire thing but I didn't. My father killed an innocent woman and it's partly my fault."

Nikolas stared at her incredulously. "Emily, how could you blame yourself for this? You were trying to oblige to your mothers wishes. There's no way that you could have known this would happen."

"The guilt is still there. I didn't believe it when she said that he wouldn't do it again. An abusive husband doesn't just hit their wife once. It doesn't work that way. If I had just turned him in then, then that woman wouldn't be dead and my father would have gotten exactly what he deserves."

"Emily this is not your fault." Nikolas stated firmly. "Please don't blame yourself for this. There is no way in hell, unless you're a psychic, could you have known that something like this would have happened."

Finally, she just gave into her overwhelming feelings and began to cry. Nikolas wrapped his arms even tighter around her when she started to shake with sobs. "Shh, it's ok." He reassured. He couldn't help but notice how perfectly she fit into his arms. It's moments like this he cherishes, even though he wished the circumstances were different, he held onto these rare moments when he could hold her like his. When she confided in him and he was there to comfort her, hold her when she cried.

"Nikolas?" She mumbled against his chest.

"Yes?" He whispered. She lifted her head from his chest, and her face was streaked with tears. Nikolas' heart broke at the shattered look on her face. He felt so helpless. The one thing he wasn't used to feeling. Like he could do absolutely nothing to ease her pain. To fix this.

"Thank you so much for being here with me. I don't know what I would do without you. You're the first person I've told this too. But I'm sure you have better things to do than listen to me dump my problems on you." She laughed softly.

She started to get up but he pulled her back to him. "Emily, you are one of my best friends. I am always, ALWAYS, here when you need me, ok?"

She nodded and he reached out to brush a few stray tears from her face. Emily was oblivious to the way he felt about her. She was just so grateful for him. The way he would listen to her and hold her when she cried about her dysfunctional family. She honestly didn't know what she would do without him. He was so gentle, so loving. He was just what she needed. She could feel herself starting to fall for him all over again and she really didn't want to stop. She knew Nikolas was just being the wonderful friend he had always been. She knew Nikolas would never feel that way about her.

He cupped her face with one hand while his thumb lingered on her cheek, stroking it gently.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" Emily sniffed.

He laughed softly. "I think the question is what did I do to deserve you?"

She tilted her head back to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. "You are such a good friend, Nikolas. God, I love you so much for that." She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight embrace. He knew she loved him in a best friend/big brother kind of way, but just hearing those words made him feel happier than he had in a long time. It rejuvenated him with hope. False hope, maybe, but he really didn't care. Maybe that's what he needed. False hope. Who was he kidding? False hope leads to heart ache and disappointment and he had had too much of that in his life.

He wrapped his arms around her small waist and held her close while whispering, "I love you too, Em." With all my heart, he added silently.

Emily noticed the change of his tone as he said those words. What was that she heard in his voice? Was it the big brother affection or did he mean those words in a different sense? She wasn't sure anymore and cursed herself silently for even contemplating it. She reluctantly pulled away and stood up from the bench.

Nikolas immediately felt bereft as soon as she left his embrace. That hug didn't last nearly as long as he would have liked. He studied her face carefully as she paced in front of him. She looked exhausted. Her eyes were glazed and were drooping. "Emily." He said gently. She looked up at him with her eyebrows raised in silent questioning. He stood up and placed his hands on her shoulders, stilling her movement. "You look exhausted. Come on, let's get you home."

She wanted to protest. She honestly didn't want to go anywhere near the Quartermaine mansion but she was so tired. It had been a long day. "I don't want to go home, Nikolas. I don't want to be near my family right now." She whispered and he pulled her into his arms. She rested her head against his chest and sighed heavily.

He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "It's ok. Why don't you stay at Wyndemere tonight?" The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.

She pulled away so that she could look at him. A small smile spread across her face and Nikolas felt his heart flutter. God she was beautiful.

She pursed her lips, "Nikolas, I don't think Stefan would approve of me spending the night."

He laughed. "Stefan is out of town for a couple of days, and you don't want to go home right now. You can stay in one of the guest rooms and I'll take you home tomorrow."

Her smile grew wider. "That would be so wonderful Nikolas. Thank you." She hugged him close once again.

"No problem." He whispered, holding her even closer.