Chronicle
2
Title: Half a Heart
Characters: Renji, Rukia
Pairings: RenjixRukia (one-sidedness)
Rukia always reminded me of a boy, ever since we met in Inuzuri. Whenever she saw someone big beating up a smaller girl or boy, she would pummel their asses into the ground and possibly take their underwear away to draw bunnies on and hang it as her national flag. I liked that attitude secretly, even now...
"Renji! Get your butt off the floor!"
"Rukia, shut up! I'm reminiscing!"
"You can reminisce later! Did you forget about your captain's meeting?"
"Oh yea. Uh I remembered Rukia, I'm just coolly walking slow."
Some years after the scare with Aizen and the hollows, I became captain of my own division, replacing Ichimaru Gin, that bastard. Rukia said it was a pity push courtesy of "...niiiiisaamma..." but heck I achieved bankai and I think I would do way better than Kira. Out of my kind heart, I made Rukia vice-captain of my squad, and because she thought I was teasing her, she shoved a stick up my nose. It hurt. We kicked Aizen's sorry butt for all the trouble he caused. He said he was sorry, but psh, like I'll forgive him.
"Renji! Stop standing around like an idiot and talking to yourself!"
"Baka! I'm not talking to myself!"
Anyways, Rukia and I do fight a lot, but honestly, I do it because I don't really think I could say what's out of my heart. It's like one of those manly hiding things...and I'm manly for sure.
"Baka!" She was screaming again.
"BAKA!"
"BAAAAKKAA!"
"Stop shouting in capital letters!"
"You shut up!"
--
Rukia returned from the really horrible assignment I gave her and she gave me a nosebleed. She also pulled some of my hair off too. Really, she's like a cat or something. I let my hair down because she said it looked nice down so I did, but maybe I should put it up again. She keeps pulling on it. :(
"Renji! Why the heck did you send me to fight a hollow that looks like a rabbit!"
"What, couldn't handle it?"
"You...did it on purpose!"
"I'm the captain here and you are the VICE-captain. I rule this division, Rukia."
"Oh..." She gave me a sly grin. "I bet nii-sama would love this."
"Rukia! You! Oi, come back here."
I stilled liked her, even when she punched me in my nose and even when she got Byakuya-taichou to chase me with his flying petals of doom. Hanging around 4th division wasn't so bad I guess. Rukia came later and apologized anyways with a chappy sweater. Like I need another one of those, but I took it anyways.
"Renji, sorry about that."
"Yea, yea."
"Yea...yea? You could at least accept my apology in a more graceful manner."
"Do I look graceful to you?"
"Definitely not." She turned to the side and stuck her little noble nose up in the air.
"Don't give me that, Rukia!"
"Hah! You used an exclamation mark first! I told you that if you shouted at me again in the same week, I'll get Ichigo on you! ICHIGO!"
"There are a lot of uses for exclamation points! Oi Rukiaaaaaaa!"
Yea, and then Ichigo and I had the good pleasure to do battle. I ended up in the hospital for another week. :(
--
It was...Chrissmez. Chris Mas. Was that a poet or something? Anyways, it was x-mas. Yea, that sounds cooler. Things with x's always sound cooler. Like Roxas, haha, kingdom hearts is a cool game. Rukia took me to the real world because it was a day off in Gotei 13. She said she wanted to go shopping with me. Feh, she probably stole that money from Kurosaki, or his damn crazy father.
"Look Renji! A Christmas tree!"
"What's the point of that thing anyways?"
"Come on Renji, perk up. This is one in a year chance to go to the mall in the material world!"
"And how long do we live?"
"... Look bunny dolls! Come on Renji!"
In my mind, I did feel like going with Rukia to see the dolls, but my manly reputation didn't let me, so I let her haul my dead weight to the store and by the time we were there, she collapsed.
"Renji, loose some weight, will you?"
"No." My eyebrow twitched. "I'm not fat."
"Sure. Hey discount on bunny chocolates! Let's go!"
It was actually nice in that store. As we walked inside, we held my arm hard and hugged it against her almost nonexistent bosom. In the end, we purchased a whole lot of bunny-themed items and one was red. She gave that to me.
--
When we went home, Rukia and I were resting in the headquarters. I wanted to say that I did have a good time tonight and I liked her present. It was night so she was already asleep. I crept into her room and shut the door slightly so that a small inch of light entered the room. I walked slowly to her bed. I was about to nudge her shoulder, when a strand of my damn hair landed on her nose. ...I should've tied it back up. She literally screamed and fell off her bed, taking my hair down with me. I felt lots of pain in my scalp and then in my gut and then at my face.
"Die, rapist! Burglar! Hollow! Bastard! Stalker! Hiretsukan!" I think she just bit my nose.
"Rukia! It's only me!"
"Renji?...BAKA! Why are you in my room?"
"What, can't I say something to you without you screaming your head off and biting my nose?"
"What is it then?"
"Since you want to be such an idiot, I won't tell you."
"...GET OUT!"
The next thing I knew, I was standing outside her door with some of my hair in my hands and a very red nose. Hey, I look like that wussy reindeer in those Christ Mas specials. Anyways, I coolly walked back to my own bed and hugged the red bunny...with manliness of course. I didn't know whether to name it Sakki or Akanasu...Oh well. Good night.
--
"Renji! You're crazy red hair is in my bed!"
"BAKA! Go back to sleep!"
