Title: Under The Gun
Series: Teen Titans
Summary: He thought she was an angel. She lied. She betrayed. Now he's alone. Slight AU, angst, past BbxTerra, possible BbxRae.
Chapters: 1 (Short Ficlet)
Rating: T (language, themes)
A/N: Under The Gun is a song by the Killers. It's an awesome song, so check it out. It fits with the BbxTerra relationship perfectly.
Disclaimer: No lyrics were used in the making of this fanfiction.
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Her golden hair blew back in the wind, her face a perfect mask of adoration and amusement. He had thought she loved him, he had known he loved her. The way she looked at him made him forget his pain, the loneliness after losing his parents. The way her eyes sparkled when she looked at him made him feel he was the only man in the world. Terra had been his everything. He loved the way she moved, the way she laughed at his jokes. He had loved her without thinking, without hesitation.
And she had betrayed him, running off to Slade, to curl up in the dark-hearted man's arms, sneering at him. She had played him for a fool, and he had fallen into her trap.
"Hope you're not expecting a goodbye kiss." She had mocked him. Used him and tossed him aside, like garbage.
And in the end, when he realized that there were no tears, no crying for her to come back, he had realized his heart was dead. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare, this horrible reality that just wouldn't fade. And in the end, when everything had changed, he was still alone.
His friends were beside him, as he was beside them. His friends became his world, and the memories of her faded, but the pain was not dulled. Rejection hurts like a bitch, and he wasn't likely to forget that anytime soon.
When he began to notice his friend, his team mate, in a new light he began to panic. Raven was everything that Terra had not been. Raven was dark, sarcastic and hauntingly beautiful. She held more power than anyone he knew, and yet she used it for good. She was unselfish and kind, in a roundabout way.
He couldn't have her, he knew. She deserved more than he would ever be, so he didn't even try. He told her jokes, acted the fool that he had been, in attempts to make her smile. She never did.
He didn't know how it happened or why, but he loved her. Loved her more and more each day. But she wasn't his, would never be his, and he accepted this. Made her into his best friend, for if she wasn't his lover, she was surely his friend.
But was it enough? Love denied is never enough. Raven dominated his thoughts, dominated him. He didn't care, he was too far gone to care. Life is just a slow and painful death, fraught with danger and pain. Love and pain are one and the same, beautiful in their complexity, but oh so simple to understand.
And so he was haunted, by the golden girl who had deluded him into love, and by the dark ghost of a girl who asked not for his love, but received it anyway. He was not torn, he was not happy. He existed, and sometimes, that's the best we can do.
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"There is no despair so absolute as that which comes with the first moments of our first great sorrow, when we have not yet known what it is to have suffered and be healed, to have despaired and have recovered hope." George Eliot
