After pulling on his running shoes and grabbing a jacket to cover his bare chest, Christian stepped outside. It was somewhat chilly, but overall quite nice. He inhaled deeply. Christ, there was something so refreshing about feeling the tightness in his chest as it filled with air. Christian exhaled and started walking down the dirt path in the direction of the river. The cool night air amazing, Christian couldn't remember the last time he'd gone for a walk at night. He paused at that about it. Actually, he could only remember walking about in the woods at night once, when he was around eleven. Shaking his head fiercely Christian zipped his jacket higher. Stupid childhood thoughts weren't going to ruin his walk. Had it gotten colder since he had left the house? Maybe he should have bothered himself with putting a shirt on underneath his jacket. The last thing he needed was a cold.

Shivering and pulling his jacket up higher, Christian looked around. The woods looked eerily beautiful in the moonlight. He wished that he could stop time and just drift in the serenity of the moment. He smiled; he missed moments like that. "Pre-Carver moments" he thought of them as. Brief moments in time where everything was okay. But everything wasn't okay. It would never be okay again.

"Ow! What the hell?" Christian was startled from his thoughts by a sharp pain in his big toe. He looked down, the path gave way into a bridge and he had hit the edge of it. His thoughts had proven so engrossing that he had become totally unaware of where he was walking. Oops. Christian stepped onto the bridge. Great, the ramp for pedestrian traffic was covered in mud. Christian sighed softly, it'd been fine if he used the main roadway, it was nearly 3:00 in the morning. No one would be driving down such a small road. Christian stuffed his hands into his pockets and continued walking. His mind was completed void of thoughts, the only thing he was aware of was the soft thud his sneakers made with every step he took toward the center of the bridge.

After reaching the Center of the bridge, Christian walked up to the railing and stared at the water below. There was something mesmerizing about the way that it gently rippled and reflected the moonlight that shone down upon it. Between the darkness and deceptive nature of liquids, there was not telling how deep the water was. Christian knelt down and picked up a rock and tossed it into the water. It seemed fairly deep, maybe even deep enough to swim in. Suddenly Christian was hit was feeling of recklessness. Hadn't he always wanted to swim in a river at night? Wasn't now as good a time as any? After deliberating for a second Christian decided that it'd be fine. His life had been so miserable lately that he'd practically earned the right to do something reckless and fun.

Without giving it another thought, Christian unzipped his jacket, pulled it off, and folded it and sat it on the ground. It really was cold out he thought to himself as he rubbed his upper arms in a vain attempted to warm up before he stripped off his pajama pants. After looking around for a few seconds, Christian decided to go all out. Why swim when he could skinny dip? Christian pulled off his blue silk boxers, tossed them on the pile of his clothes and hoisted himself up onto the railing of the bridge. At that very moment, he saw headlights off in the distance and heard the honking of a car horn accompanied by a very familiar voice shouting "Christian? Is that you?"

"FUCK," snarled Christian quietly. It was Sean. Why the hell was he here at 3:00 in the morning? As Christian stepped down off the railing, Sean's car rolled to a stop in front of him. Christian covered his privates and started to speak when Sean jumped out of his car and hugged him.

"What the hell were you thinking? I know things are bad but you don't have to…have to…kill yourself. I'm here, Julia's here, Kimber's here. We all love you Christian.," Sean said as his eyes filled with tears.

"But , I wasn't going to –"

Pressing a finger against Christian lips, Sean shook his head.. "You don't have to try to lie or justify your actions, just know that we're here and we love you." Sean paused for a second and looked Christian dead in the eyes, causing Christian to shudder. Sean was going to say something very serious next; Christian just felt it.

"Christian…remember when I told you that I loved you the most in the storage room after I found out about Matt?" Christian nodded his head, he remembered. Sean continued, "I still love you the most. Ever since The Carver hurt you, I've know that you needed to know even if you walked away from me and never come back. Christian, I'm in love with you and I have been for twenty years."

Sean loved him? In that way? Christian really hadn't a clue what to say. Never in his life had Christian ever imagined that Sean's feelings for him were anything other than platonic. Christian stared into his best friend's eyes. He loved Sean, he really did; he was the only person who Christian had ever been able to count on, the only one who never turned his back and walked away for good. Did it matter if Sean was a guy? Sean loved him and Christian loved him back. Without saying a word, Christian leaned forward and kissed Sean gently on the lips.

"I…I…love you too. I never realized how I loved you until you said that, but I do love you." Christian leaned forward again and kissed Sean deeply. As his tounge navigated its way around Sean's mouth, over his pearl-like teeth, inside his soft, warm cheeks, and danced with Sean's tounge, Christian felt something explode inside of him. This was how it was supposed to be. This was what he needed to bring himself back from where the Carver had taken him. As Christian stood there, wrapped in Sean's embrace and passionately kissing him, he felt something he hadn't felt in a long time: a sense of belonging.

Here in his best friend's arms, he was home.