Really Stupid Cupid

Summary:Slightly AU, Tobias is human. Marco is voted his class's Cupid, so he has to get the voted couple together. And guess who they are... the couple will be the two who'll never seem to realize they like each other... Tobias and Rachel. And Marco only has till the Valentines Day dance.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own any of this... though I wouldn't mind owning Tobias...

7

Marco-

I hate my life. I know I've said that before, but this time, I truly mean it.

"Mrs. Walden," I told her after class when nobody else was there, "I really don't think I'm cut out for this Cupis thing."

"I'm sorry, Marco," She sighed, ruffling through her papers, "But you can't resign."

I looked at her, apalled. "But the Chosen Couple-"

"I don't care if they're running around in string bikinis, you still have to get them together."

For a moment, I savored the thought of Rachel racing around in a string bikini, but then shuddered when thinking of Tobias in one(a/n: has anybody ever heard of a Tobias/Marco? one word: EWWWWWWWWWWWW! people actually ship those!).

"But-"

"NO."

Man, people have no sympathy.

As I walked into the halls, I happened to see the guy who was making Rachel's life miserable, and in turn making my life miserable, walking down the halls himself.

Walking toward me! The nerve!

"Well, well, well," I said, glaring at him, "If it isn't..." I couldn't think of anything to call him, so... "Tobias himself."

"Uh, yeah," Tobias replied, looking at me weird. "That would be me."

I looked at him. "Come over here."

He walked over.

"Closer."

He looked at me funny again. "Look," I blurted, "Why'd you ask Laurie to the V-Day dance?"

He glared at me. "None of your business."

"You," I pointed at him, "Are in love Rachel."

He turned around, then walked off.

000

Tobias's POV-

I walked onto the football field-to find the entire cheerleading squad crowded in front of me.

"Gimme and 'R'," The captain grinned, making an 'r'.

"'R'!" The rest of the squad copied her.

" Gimme an 'A'!"

"'A'!"

And I think you know where it went from there.

"What's that spell?"

"Rachel? Ask her out! Ask her out! Ask her out!"

A barbie doll looking mascot that looked nothing like Rachel, but I guess was supposed to represent her, ran out, doing spin and hops.

Finally, it backed up, and ran. It then tried to do a back handspring, and landed on it's head.

The head bumped off, and revealed... Marco.

"So," I asked, walking up to him, "You payed them."

How did I know this, you ask? Well:

One: All the cheerleaders were getting twenties from him. Each.

Two: Several wrote their numbers on scraps of paper and mouthed, 'call me' to me.

000

I opened the door, and found... a giant teddy bear at the door.

"Who are you?" I blurted.

"Well, my real name is Herbert Asiago(a/n: heehee, asiago cheese!), but I'm also called teddy during my job."

Herbert Also Known As Teddy, then broke into song.

"P-p-p-piiiiick Rachel, you two are meant to be! Piiiiiiick Rachel, we'll be one big family! Piiiick Rachel, she's really really hooot, piiick Rachel, if you don't, then you're sure nooooooot!"

Just as he began "One more time!" I held up my hands.

"Uh, no. It's cool. I'm guessing a guy called Marco sent you here?"

000

Heehee, Marco's desperate. R and R!