Really Stupid Cupid

Summary:Slightly AU, Tobias is human. Marco is voted his class's Cupid, so he has to get the voted couple together. And guess who they are... the couple will be the two who'll never seem to realize they like each other... Tobias and Rachel. And Marco only has till the Valentines Day dance.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own any of this... though I wouldn't mind owning Tobias...

9

a/n: Well, last chappie...

Tobias-

Ok. Take deep breaths. It's only Rachel. Only Rachel.

The girl you love.

This is just great. She's with Adam. A football player. How can a soccer player out do a football player?
This was what I asked Jake. "You should have asked her earlier," He responded, then glared. "Or how about this? Not ask Laurie."

"I have no idea why I did that," I sighed, "She was just so eager, and-"

"Rachel wasn't?" Jake finished for me, flipping through the channels on my TV. "Yeah. She's like that, you know? Plays hard to get."

I snorted. "She wasn't playing hard to get with Adam. Not at all."

"Well," Jake smirked, "She kissed you, right?"
"Yep. To get me to shut up."

"What's this I hear about kissing?"
I groaned as Lydia, my foster mom, walked into the room. Don't get me wrong, she's a sweet lady. Just kinda overprotective.

"Nothing," Jake had The Look on his face. The look that allows him to stop being a leader and start being a kid. "Tobias just got some action."

She glared at me. "What does he mean?"

"Nothing," I snapped, glaring at Jake.

At that moment, a knock on the door came. Lydia ran to get it.

"Hello, Mrs. Bennett."

Oh no.

Jake and I ran to look, and saw an unhappy Lydia looking at Rachel. Knowing that Lydia hates girls looking hot, as I'd ranted to her, Rachel wore a miniskirt and knee high boots with high heels and a tank top.

The look she gave me was one of pure evil.

"She is evil, I tell you," I hissed to Jake.

Rachel flipped her hair behind one shoulder.

"I'm Rachel," She smiled, "A friend of Tobias's."

Lydia's lips were pursed. "Really."

"Yeah. Jake's my cousin, so I came to tell him that the tests came back positive."

"What do you mean?" Lydia asked. Rachel is an excellent actress. She put on the sad face and everything.

"Jake," She walked up to him with a choked up voice, "You have Spinning Syndrome.(a/n: NOT REAL!)"

"Huh?" Jake asked. Rachel even let a tear fall.

"See. Poor thing's already losing his memory. First sign."

Oh. She couldn't go with 'I wanted to see my cousin'. Noooo.

Now Rachel turned to me. "See ya later Tobias," She purred, sliding one hand along my arm.

When she was gone, Lydia turned to me.

"So. A 'friend'."

"Yep," Jake and I said together, and then we ran.

000

Marco-

Operation GetRachelandTobiastogethertogetanA: Commencing.

Step One: Listen in on phone calls.

As I tried to look brave while holding a rat, Cassie was all "Oops, that must be Rachel on the line. You can handle this, right?"

"Yeah," I grimaced.

But once she was gone, I put Ratty back and found the nearest phone. This is how it went.

Rachel: Hey, did you see how hot Chad Michael Murray was in that Teen People issue?

Me: cringes

Cassie: Um, I don't read that magazine.

Rachel: Really? Huh.

Me: begs God to let me die

Cassie: Anyway, are you sure you want to go to the dance with Adam?

Rachel: You know I liked Tobias. But now that he's with that slut-

Hah. All I needed to know, painless.

000

Step 2: Talk to Tobias about Laurie.

Me: So, about Laurie-

Tobias: No.

000

Step 3: Try different approach.

Me: Tobias, I shall expell the demons out of you.

Tobias: Huh?
Me: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU, THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU, THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU, THE-

Tobias: putting hand over my mouth I didn't know you were Catholic.

Me: Me neither.

000

Step 4: Try same thing with Rachel.

Aftermath:

Rachel: Now, shut up ya little freak, or else.

Me: trying to get Rachel's hands off my neck OK.

000

Step 5: Pray that I'll die before the dance takes place.

000

Rachel-

I walked into the gym, Adam at my side. I was wearing a knee length red dress with spaghetti straps.

Cassie and Jake were at our sides, with Marco dateless. Hah. Ever since he tried to expell the demons out of me, I've wished him bad luck.

Plus, Lily and George are here to stay.

I'm kidding.

Really.

"Hey."

I turned. Laurie was in a hideous yellow dress, and giggling all over Tobias. How digusting.

"Oh, hi Tobias," I smiled, giggling all over Adam.

Hey. I had my reasons.

The songs began. I danced to even the fast ones, since Laurie was making Tobias do it.

Till finally... it got to me. He liked someone else. Maybe even loved her. I was a thing of the past, a little fling.

No more Rachel.

I told Adam that I needed to sit down, and he went off to flirt with other chicks.

"You seem upset."

I flinched. Tobias had sat down beside me.

"Gee, wonder why," I snarled sarcastically.

"Rach, why are you so upset?" He asked.

"Why am I upset?" I cried, looking into his eyes. "Because you asked a girl out who barely likes you, when you can have me, and I love you!"
My hand flew to my mouth as soon as those last three words were out. Tobias blinked, a dazed look on his face.

"You love me?" He said.

I nodded, looking down.

"Well," He grinned, "That works out. 'Cause now I can do this."

And suddenly, he was kissing me.

Kissing me.

Me.

Kissing Tobias.

My arms went around his neck, and we stayed like that for a while. Then we Frenched for a while, not really caring who walked by.

A familiar voice stirred us out of the reverie. "Get a room."

"Marco!" I slapped him.

"Thanks," Tobias smirked, "Even though you did nothing but expell my demons."

Marco pulled an invisible belt up. "All in a day's work, sir."

Cassie and Jake walked over.

"Huh," Jake remarked, "It worked."

"I need to sit down," Cassie teased.

At that moment, Mrs. Walden got on stage.

"Junior class of 2006," She announced, "I would like to introduce this year's Cupid... Marco Sanchez!"

Marco strutted up to the stage, and did a little dance number once up.

"Well," He began, "Four score and something years ago, I had a dream,"-I rolled my eyes. He was rolling all this famous stuff together- "A dream that I would be Cupid."

The gym giggled.

"And thanks to this lovely woman," He presented Mrs. Walden, "My dream was fulfilled."

He pretended to weep, and Mrs. Walden pulled him offstage.

"OK," She grinned, "As observed by many,"-she shot Tobias and I a look- "Marco got the elected couple together. Presenting... Tobias Fangor and Rachel Berenson."

The crowd cheered as we got up. But Tobias and I only said one thing, at the same time.

"Thanks."

And then we were off to our spotlight dance.

And to the rest of our lives.

The End

Hi. Hope you liked it. R and R! I hope to put in more animorph fics. ;)