Title: Paperwork
Disclaimer: I don't own House.
A/N: This is what my mind comes up with at 3am, and then expects me to write. Aligason. Honestly. Also, this doesn't even have hints of slash. Unless "lunch" is some strange euphemism for "have hot sex in an empty exam room." Anyway, read and review! -
Dr. Gregory House had the firm belief that doctors should, well, doctor. He was a doctor. Paperwork and other things that took a backseat to doctoring could be done by people who had nothing better to do than to do him favors. They could check his email while they were at it.
Wilson came into House's office without knocking. He never knocked these days. He looked over into the conference room. "You know, you have Cameron basically doing the same job as Cuddy's assistant."
"She's very qualified."
"She's a qualified doctor, not a qualified secretary." Wilson sat down in the vacant chair. House was beginning to think that he kept that chair around just so Wilson could sit in it. It wasn't as if he actually had meetings in here. "One day she's going to refuse to do any more of your paperwork," said Wilson.
"You're familiar with the urban legend of the alligators in the sewage system?" House didn't wait for Wilson's nod of confirmation, because he knew it was coming. "They get too big, and their owners set them loose into the nearest sewer."
"And?"
"And," said House, trying to sound serious, but managing something on the far side of ridiculous, "The day that Cameron refuses to do my paperwork is the day I'll know she's ready to be released into the sewer of life. She'll be big enough to deal with all the shit."
"You just compared Cameron… to an alligator. No wonder it didn't work out between you two." Wilson was finding the image of an Alligason hard to get out of his head.
House was silent for a moment, pretending to be hurt. Then, "Wanna go have lunch?"
"Yeah, sure." They both got up and walked out of House's office. In the conference room, Cameron had moved on to checking House's email.
