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Words not spoken in English will be italicized.

I know some of you have been waiting patiently for this, enjoy!

Chapter 19-Confessions II

Gale stared at Katniss and she towered above him on her horse on the small hill. She looked completely different. She was dressed in the tan material the Native's wore, her hair was down which it never was, and single bird feather was sticking out from the back of her head. A small band was around her forehead. Because her hair was down, the wind was blowing it around.

She looked at him with fierce eyes, but it wasn't the look of anger, it was a look of determination he thought.

She still looked as beautiful as she always did, for a moment he thought his heart stopped beating. He blinked his eyes and forced himself to focus on the task at hand.

"Commander Hawthorne" she said to him. He wasn't surprised she was addressing him so formally. After all, they weren't friends anymore.

"Miss Everdeen" Gale responded with a nod.

"I know why you are here."

This surprised him. "You do?"

"Yes-we have two of your soldiers with us, Barnes and Green."

Gale couldn't believe it. He wondered how long Sequoyah and Trent were with the Natives. He also wondered if they were being treated alright, he had learned that this particular tribe was not as peaceful as the one Katniss was with. Despite what they had done, Gale was still concerned for Sequoyah's well-being.

"I need you to bring them both to me." Gale responded in an authoritative manner. He could tell Katniss didn't like it.

"First you and I need to talk-alone." She looked over him to his squad behind him. All of them looking at Katniss with their weapons readied.

Gale turned around nodded, signaling to the group it was okay to stand down. He turned back to Katniss and said, "I'm ready."

Katniss turned to Red Bear and Hawk and said, "I need to speak with the tall man for a little while. He is the leader of this group. Be on alert, but no one will harm you"

They both silently nodded. Katniss turned and motioned for Gale to follow her. After about a five minute walk she stopped and turned around to face him, taking a deep breath.

"You've been here almost as long as I have. Why were you hiding from me?" She put her hands on her hips while asking the question.

Gale debated on how much he should say. He decided to start off slow and said, "The mission was to watch from a safe distance, make sure no harm came to you from a militia group the Capitol has been monitoring."

"The Jay Killers yeah I heard about them" Katniss said harshly.

"The President didn't want you to be disturbed if you didn't have to be."

"Bullshit" Katniss spat.

"It's the truth, she knows the Natives are a peaceful people."

"Stop lying to me! If she believed that, she wouldn't have camera's there."

"Katniss—"Gale tried to reason with her.

"You don't get to call me that, my name is killing bird."

Gale gave her the same bizarre look Sequoyah and Trent gave her. She was so used to speaking in the Sioux language it almost became second nature to her. The words didn't sound strange to her.

"I don't think I can pronounce that name back" he said after a short pause.

She sighed, putting her head down. She sank to the ground, looking defeated. Gale realized something was seriously wrong with her. He sat down on the ground as well, but kept his distance.

After sitting in silence for a few moments, he finally said, "Look, I know this is concerning, hearing about the Jay Killers, but my team is here to help, I can guarantee your safety."

She shot her eyes up to him, seething. "Guarantee my safety? I got news for you Gale, you're too late for that."

"What?"

"You're too late. I was already taken by two of them. Me and a friend."

Gale couldn't believe what he was hearing. President Paylor told him no other groups had come into the wild territory. How could they have captured Katniss? They were still pretty far west. Unless more were still leaving.

"Was the friend Rainbow Bridgewater?"

If looks could kill, Gale would be dead two times over. Katniss rose from the ground and began pacing back and forth.

"She was more than just a friend. She was helping me" Katniss said softly.

Gale decided stay quiet. He looked at Katniss patiently for her to continue.

"I'm assuming you know her name because you've been spying on us for months." She looked at him in a threatening way.

"Did the men hurt you?" Gale asked. Katniss sensed anger in his tone as he asked the question.

"One of them hurt Rain, in every way possible-he raped her."

"I'm sorry" he said. "Is she okay now?"

"She's dead, one of them killed her while we were being rescued by members of the tribe."

"Oh Katniss" Gale didn't mean to do it, but he got up and instinctively reached for her, trying to comfort her.

She recoiled back, "Don't" she warned. "Too bad for you she died, she almost got me to stop hating you, almost got me to forgive you."

Gale knew Katniss would never be able to look at him the same way again, but to hear she still hated him after all this time? He thought perhaps they at least had a shot at being friends. He knew the possibility of anything more was as dead as Prim was.

"I may not deserve forgiveness for what happened with Prim, but I don't deserve to be hated, not after everything I've done for you, done for your family, what I still do."

"Yes—my mother, I heard. You probably speak to her more than she speaks to me. I saw her for the first time since Prim died when she came to see me in 12 to convince me to come here."

"You could have a better relationship with her, don't think she doesn't want that."

"Stop! Just stop. I can barely look at you due to your association with the Capitol-with Paylor."

"Paylor?" Gale asked confused. "What does Paylor have to do with-"

"She hasn't changed Panem, it's still the same as it was! Evil, corrupt."

"Katniss, you are not thinking straight, you know the rebellion has made Panem a better place."

"For you maybe. I see you on TV sometimes, with your fancy government job, looking all important. District 12 is still shit, you know it."

"It's your home. Yours and Peeta's."

"I don't know if I can go back there, the memory of Prim has consumed me. District 12, the Capitol, it holds too many bad memories."

"This is what Rain helped you with?"

"Yes, and now she's gone. No thanks to you not being honest with me from the beginning. You could have come to us back at the village. You didn't. And now, she's gone, just like Prim." Katniss slowly started walking towards Gale. "Rain was the one person who was helping me, she was saving me-from myself. Now, I am lost again. YOU HAVE ROBBED ME FROM MY ONLY SOURCE OF SALVATION!"

Gale heard Katniss scream into the camera during the rebellion to get propaganda footage for District 13. He never heard her scream at him, not in this way.

As badly as he felt for her, he was tired of being her scapegoat. "Hating me really brings you that much pleasure?" he spat.

Katniss's eyes grew wide in horror. She thought to Rain's final words to her, 'hating him won't bring you happiness'. Did Rain foresee this moment?

She shook her head in disagreement. She looked down while she spoke, not able to look at him in the eye. "No, I force myself to hate you, because I hate myself."

"Why do you hate yourself?" Gale said harshly.

"Because I can't find the happiness with Peeta that he deserves."

His look softened. "Maybe someday you can."

"Have you found happiness with someone?" She finally rose her eyes to his.

"Yes."

She doesn't respond to that answer.

"I'll show you where Trent and Sequoyah are, but you can't have them, not yet. I need you to help me with something."

"What?" Gale asks quizzically.

"Help me take out the cameras at the village, the Comanche have demanded I do it. Then you can have them back. Will you help?"

"Of course."

"Sequoyah's pregnant isn't she?

Gale was not surprised Katniss figured this out. "Yes, is she okay? Is she being fed?"

"Yes, she's fine. Is this why they ran away from you?"

"They were upset because I was going to send her back to the Capitol. She could be dismissed for breaking protocol. They attacked the hovercraft that was sent to pick her up. I need to return them both to the Capitol to face the consequences of what they did. They almost killed one of my pilots."

As they made the five minute walk back to the others, Katniss stopped and turned to Gale. She had a look of confusion on her face, as if she was debating whether or not to say something. Finally, she stopped him and said, "Do you-Do you still think of me that way even though we are not together?"

He decided not to lie to her, he was already keeping things from her, and after the intense conversation earlier he figured some things could wait until later. But this question he would answer truthfully.

"I force myself not to. If I allowed myself to, I wouldn't be able to stop."

She gave a slight nod and turned to keep moving, he saw her begin to smile as she turned away.