Six
"Hey Xan, how are you doing? Still being a lazy ass?" I say, giving him a half-grin, trying not to let on how his wounds are affecting me.
He attempts a smile, but seems to exhausted even for that. "S'okay Mel...you can take pity on us men every once in a while. Secretly, we actually like it. We're emotional masochists." He says, almost out of breath by the end of the sentence.
"Hey, I wasn't…" He weakly raises an eyebrow. "Okay, I was. But you really don't look like your usual charming self."
"Charming self, huh?" He makes a sound that could be a low laugh, but fails. In the end, it comes out more like a cough. I want to reach out and pat his shoulder, anything to try to make him feel better, but I just stand there awkwardly. He takes a deep, shuddering breath.
"Yeah, your charming self. The only thing that made me risk my life for your sorry hide." I smirk, trying to sound nonchalant. I'm not sure if I manage it though.
"Mel… about what happened in the fire fight…" I knew that would come up. Something about being a moron for putting my life on the line or… "You did good there." Oh; well, that's something I certainly wasn't counting on. Trying to play down my embarrassment, I rub my neck and lean against the side of his bed.
"Yeah, well, if you don't count letting myself be fooled by a decoy maneuver that's older than the Sith, and the fact that I forgot everything about my first aid training and…" He brushes his hand slowly across mine, making me half-turn to him.
"Mel? Do me a favor?" He's sounding uncharacteristically serious, so I lift my head to look him in the eye.
"Sure; anything you want." I say, trying to maintain my cool. He smiles again, but it's not one of his usual "I'm the Stars' gift to women"-smiles; it's almost a little sad. Huh?
"Just for once, believe it when someone says you did good. Because it's true." For a moment, I'm at a loss for words. Turning down praise has become such a regular habit for me now that I'm actually unable to just take it and be happy about it. It takes all my will power not to throw back the snappy comment I already have in my mind.
"I… um… I'm going to try,
okay? I just… I just don't think anyone else will see it like
this. I'm almost 100 sure Tarkker's already been running around
and telling his side of the story to about anyone who'll listen to
him…" I take my hand back and start fiddling with the end of my
braid. That's why I should wear my hair either short or pinned up:
When I get nervous or
frustrated I tend to fiddle around with my
hair, and that habit makes me as easy to read as an open book.
"The people who count won't
believe him, and you know that. Now stop tearing at your lovely hair
and do what you did in that fight." I raise an eyebrow, and he
takes another deep breath. I realize I shouldn't be harassing him
like that. Whatever happened after I passed out, it seems to have
seriously taken its toll on him. But I still want to know what he
meant. "You didn't think about consequences or what people would
say, or any shit like that…you
just... did. And that was good.
Just keep doing that."
Before I can answer, I'm saved from having to do so by the Mrlissi nurse from before. "Sorry to interrupt you but we need to prepare Private Farrayn for the bacta tank now." To my shame, I have to admit that she actually spared me the embarrassment of not knowing what to say. Smiling apologetically, I get off the bed.
As the nurse moves into her prep work, I turn around to him again and say: "Gotta report to the Cap now. And you just… stay in your tank and… uh… get well again, okay?" Yeah, that was really smooth Melara.
He smiles weakly, but a small glimmer of his usual charm manages to shinethrough. "And after that we'll see if there aren't any other favors you can do for me." I guess I just turned as red as a Calamarian lobster again. Playing down the embarrassment, I stick out my tongue and then get out of the field hospital as soon as possible, fervently hoping everyone who heard that comment will attribute it to the heavy painkillers Xanas must be on.
"Going somewhere Melara?" I turn around, and there's the bulky form of Sergeant Dankin standing right before me. Great. Just when I was on my way to Borlin's office tent, I'm waylaid by the guy I want to see least – apart from that traitor Tarkker, maybe.
"Going to see Captain Borlin, sir?", I say, trying hard not to sound like I was talking to a primary school kid and suppressing raising my eyebrows in a way that says: "Are you retarded or what?"
"There's no need for that. Captain Borlin has better things to do than listen to you babble. If there's anything you think you've got say that's worth telling, then tell me. And fast, because I got a lot of other things to do." What the…? What drove this guy to think he actually had any right to override a mandatory order to debrief with the Company CO after a mission? What the hell happened in the four days I'd been out of camp?
"With all due respect sir, I don't think so." He smirks. That usually means trouble. But, oh well. Crossing Dankin's path always means trouble.
"That's right, Melara, you don't think. You follow orders. And I order you to give your report to me." I'm almost ready to explode now. Compared to a few minutes with Dankin, the hours in the desert were almost refreshing in retrospect. But how to answer without making him go off all over the camp?
"I don't think Captain Borlin would be very pleased if you…"
"Captain Borlin doesn't give a shit what I do with you. Not since Corporal Tarkker reported what happened out there." I just barely manage to keep my jaw from dropping. Corporal Tarkker? This is a terrible mistake. This just has to be a mistake. What lies did that dirty little schutta tell Borlin and Dankin to get a promotion out of his piss-poor combat performance? "Now, you've got thirty minutes to finish your report. Better get started."
With that – and an unbelievable dirty smirk – he turns and briskly walks away. What the…?
"Look what the Felinx dragged into
the sun." With a snappy remark on my tongue I whip around - and
promptly twist the still injured leg – to face the person who
addressed me, only to realize that he was just fooling around. That
shuts me up immediately, because I see it's Magic, Kierse and
Danna, all three of them grinning. What is it about me and people
loving to
startle me?
"Uh, yeah...nice to see you too, guys." Very eloquent. Truly well-spoken. Melara, you idiot.
"That's exactly what he wanted to say Jenna. Really." Danna says and gives me a half-smirk.
I know they're just joking around, but why do they always start mocking me when I'm completely unable to see the humor in it? I mean… I just had a very weird talk with Xanas, got cryptic remarks and a totally banthashit order from Dankin, and my leg feels like it's slowly falling off. Before I can say anything though, Magic beats me to it and says: "Well ladies, we'll see ya'll at chow...won't we Kierse?" With that he gives Kierse a hard look, and they are suddenly gone, leaving me and Danna alone.
I'm impressed. That was a surprising display of subtlety. For Magic at least.
Danna coughs. "You know, sometimes I don't know whether to hug them or shoot them."
A little startled, I can only answer with "Huh?"
"Well, you know? My boys…they can be a little traitorous at times. But then you still gotta love 'em, because you know that deep down they're only doing what they think is best for you." Oh, okay, I get it. It's still about the yelling thing from a couple days ago. Obviously Danna was more intimidated than I thought and the boys just wanted us to reconcile. She's right. Sometimes you really don't know whether to love them or shoot them.
"I'd hug them if I was in your place." Our eyes meet, and after a split second she smiles at me. Good grief, I actually held my breath until she did.
"They were really worried, you know. When the word got out that your box didn't arrive, I mean." Obviously something in my face told her I wasn't quite sure what I should do with the "They were worried"-information, because she adds: "But no one was worried enough to join the SAR-team, you know." No one apart from her. Alright, I get the hint. But what to say?
"Danna… I'm sorry for what happened in the hospital tent. I shouldn't have…" A wave of her hand shuts me up.
"You know, I shouldn't have provoked you. I should have known you wouldn't react well to me teasing you like that, and I still did. I'm sorry." To be honest: I'm not sure as how to react to that. I expected… I don't know what I expected. I just wanted to stay clear of her for a while. Lately I've been feeling like something between us has…shifted. And not for the better. But now she's here, and she's waiting for an answer. Plus my leg and the heat are seriously starting to get at me.
"Look… neither of us were on our best behavior that day. Let's just…I don't know. Let's just be a little more careful around each other, okay? And…uh...Danna?" Gods, there goes my eloquence. I sound like a frigging teenager. I've been sounding like that a lot in the past few months. Really should work on that.
She raises an eyebrow. "Yeah?"
I try another smile on for size, hoping it actually fits this time. "Thanks for joining the SAR team." And for caring enough about me to go against Magic's, or anyone else's orders not to. I just hope she gets the things I didn't say.
Letting a little relief show through, she grins and says: "You should have seen the fit Magic threw when we came back. Join me for chow and let me tell you?" It's a very obvious peace offering. I'd have to be a complete idiot not to take it.
"Sure." This time, the smile is real.
And as we turn and begin walking to the mess tent, her grin grows wider, as she starts to talk. "So, we had just gotten you and Farrayn and that idiot they call Tarkker out of the box when suddenly Magic came charging into the landing zone, screaming and cursing at everyone that crossed his path. I mean, he was really worked up…"
While she's going on talking, I try to hide a little smile, thinking that I might be still a screw-up, but a screw-up with friends. And that's all it takes to make a difference wider than the Dune Sea.
A/N: Tada! I'm done with this story! I can't believe it, but I AM! And before anything else: Thanks ro my beta reader and co-author joustingforcancer because this wouldn't have been possible without him (mostly because Jenna originally was his invention...). So... could please everyone who red it but didn't leave a review so far do so now? Pretty Please? Because I already have a sequel ready and in the betaing process, and I'd really love to know if there's any demand for it (I'll still post it, but we writers live off reviews, people). So... please?
