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Rivals or Friends, chapter 4

Training had just finished, and Conner had left to take a shower. Dan and Max were alone in the barn.

"That new move you showed us was great!" Dan exclaimed. "It makes so much sense and fills in gaps to let me link a few moves!"

"I'm mixing disciplines, so most instructors wouldn't have put them together," Max said.

Dan looked at him. "There's something I want to admit to you, about why my dad and me have moved around so much."

Max gave him an encouraging look. "Go on."

"It's because...well, I like men."

Max nodded in comprehension. "I see. It's disappointing that there are still problems with tolerance in this day and age. It must have been very difficult for you and your family."

Dan breathed a sigh of relief. Max didn't have a bad reaction.

"There's something else I want to tell you. Will you come closer? I don't want anyone to overhear."

"Sure," Max said as he went over to him.

Dan kissed him and then said, "I think I've fallen for you."

Max froze.

"How do you feel about me?" Dan asked. "Do you think you could return my feelings?"

"I-I need to think about it," Max stammered.

Dan smiled. "I'll wait for your answer."


Conner could tell that Max was trying to work his way through something. He had that look where he was automatically doing his schoolwork, but his mind was really focused on something else. Conner guessed that it had something to do with Dan because he caught a momentary flash of confusion in Max's eyes when he saw him at lunch.

Conner also caught a disappointed look on Dan's face when he saw that Max was preoccupied with something. Conner wanted to find out what was going on, but he decided that a public confrontation wouldn't be a good idea. He had other ways to get Max to talk.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" he asked Max that night.

"I'm thinking about something," was Max's reply.

"I can see that. I also see that it's got something to do with Dan. Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"I don't think sharing it would help."

Conner hazarded a guess. "He doesn't want you to enter an illegal, underground fighting tournament, does he? If that's the case, we'll have to make him understand that what you've been teaching him is for defense."

Max looked at Conner. "Where do you come up with this stuff? I think you've watched too many bad movies."

"So, are you going to tell me what the problem is, or should I continue guessing?"

"There's no problem. It's...he told me something of a personal nature, and I don't know what to do."

"He doesn't have a medical condition, does he? He's not about to enter critical care, right? Or rehab?"

"It's nothing like that. It's nothing illegal or life-threatening."

"I can only make wild guesses if you aren't going to be specific."

"I don't want to be specific," Max replied. "To do so would be...inappropriate."

"He didn't swear you to secrecy, did he?"

"No. However, I think that personal discretion is advised."

"Well, if you need help, I'm here for you."


Max was still trying to decide what to do the next day. Dan was disappointed, especially since it was Friday and he wouldn't see them until Monday.

Conner was happy to drag Max off to the Titans because he was hoping that Max would be more open around the others, or that Tim would be able to figure something out.

An hour after everyone had arrived, Robin whispered to Kon, "What's up with Match?"

"A friend told him something, and he's been thinking about it for the last couple of days," Kon said. "He said that it's personal and that he doesn't think it's appropriate to discuss. He says that it's not anything illegal or life-threatening."

"He's clearly stumped. I'll try talking to him."

"Thanks. I hope you can get something out of him."

Robin tried talking to Match, but it didn't help. Conner had the idea of getting Raven to talk to him.

"His emotions might overpower her," Robin objected. "He holds so much in that I don't know if she can take it."

"All the more reason for her to do it," Kon countered. "I imagine she'll want this taken care of so it's not buzzing in the back of her head."

"You've got a point. Let's talk to her."


Match was sitting on the roof, staring over the ocean at nothing. He heard the door open and someone step onto the roof.

"Hello, Raven," he called out without turning around.

"Hello, Match," she said as she walked over to him. "How did you know it was me without looking?"

"Your step's sound is very different from everyone else's here. That's how I identified you. I must apologize. I fear my emotional state has been rather unsettled lately. I didn't mean for it to bother you."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I don't, well, perhaps there is. Would you mind talking to me for a while?"

"Of course not," she replied as she sat next to him.

Match paused before beginning. "Logically, I know what I should do. There are too many things that could go wrong. There's a dispassionate case to be made against it."

Raven didn't bother to ask what 'it' was. If Match intended to tell her, she trusted that he would.

"You say that, but..."

"What?"

"I sense fear in you. Is it a fear of what would happen if you accepted it? Or is it a fear of something else?"

Match looked at her. "I'm not sure what you're trying to get at."

"Have you considered what would happen in you decided in favor of it?"

"Yes."

"How would it make you feel?"

"Happy. Nervous. Excited. You could probably add a few things to that."

"Yes, I could. You needed to hear that. Is it possible that you're scared of feeling that way?"

"I'm scared...of being happy is what you're saying?"

"You do have a tendency to think the worst of yourself."

Match looked at her thoughtfully. "Thank you, Raven. You've given me a lot to think about."

"Your emotional state has settled down. I hope this has helped."


Max sat on top of the roof and thought about what Raven said. Was he truly scared of being happy? He thought about it. Was he scared of being rejected?

Yes, he was, he realized. He should be used to rejection since it seemed to happen so many times to him. The Agenda and Contessa had spurned any feelings of loyalty or affection he showed them. Superman had let his doubts surface when Kor-El had made accusations. Kor-El declared his desire to destroy him. He should be used to it, but it still hurt.

Why was he sure that Dan would reject him? It was the sense of inevitability that was causing him to be so tentative.


The next Monday, Max had finally come to a decision. However, he was unsure of how to communicate it to Dan. Dan saw this hesitation and drew his own conclusions. He acted a bit cool towards Max, and everyone could tell he was a bit angry.

After training that afternoon, Conner went to shower, leaving the two of them alone. Dan was keeping a distance between him and Max.

"We need to talk," Max said, hesitantly.

"What's to say?" Dan spat. "You've made your decision, I can tell. I took a chance and got hurt. That's the way it goes. You're not into guys."

"Gender is irrelevant."

"You've still made your choice."

"Let me explain."

"What's to explain?" Dan said as he began to walk away.

"I was abused."

Dan came to a dead stop and turned to look at Max. "What?"

Max paused before continuing. "Before I lived with the Kents, I lived with people who...weren't as nice. I don't think I was very good and they...did things to show their displeasure. It must have been my fault."

"That's crap! It wasn't!"

Max shook his head. "It must have been. You've got this image of me where you think I'm this great guy. I'm not. I know that I'm not worthy of you."

"Stop talking nonsense!"

"I'm sorry. I'm weak. You needed to know this before I saw what I'm going to."

Max swallowed before he continued. "If you still want to go out now that you know I'm no good, I want to. I'll be dragging you down, but I'm weak. I think I've fallen for you too."

Dan said, "Don't be ridiculous. You're not weak. You're not a bad person; you're a great guy."

Dan walked over and pulled Max into a kiss.

-----

Work on the next story, tentatively titled "Public Enemy Number One," has already begun. It's more in the vein of "Parents and Children" or "Future Sins."

I felt that Match deserved some happiness. Of course, this can also lead to tragedy; such is the way of comic book characters.

Any and all comments welcome!