The sun was shining brightly in the cloudless sky. It was a beautiful crisp winter day. There was something inherently wrong about that. There should be no blue sky, no warmth in the air. The heavens should have been mourning on the day that Chandler was to be buried.

Ross felt like he had been run over by a semi. The last two days had been gut-wrenching. He had not allowed himself time to grieve in the interest of carrying out his duties. He pushed his feelings to the side to fulfill his promise to Chandler. And this promise he had kept.

Almost immediately he had dove himself headfirst into the task at hand. Phone calls and arrangements had to be made. The dreaded time had come. However, it was the first phone call though that turned his stomach beyond reproach.

As soon as Chandler drew his last breath time stopped. Nothing existed but the pain and the emptiness and the deafening silence of the room. Time became irrelevant as each friend took their turns whispering last words to Chandler that only they and God could hear.

Ross had delayed the inevitable as long as he could, but it was time. At last, Ross drew out a slip of paper from his pocket and took the phone out in the hallway with him. He did not disclose the nature of his phone call. There was no need.

The words stuck in his throat as he attempted to speak How could he say the words aloud? Although her knew one day he would have to say them, he still wasn't prepared. What he was about to say would change their lives forever. "Yes, um hi. This is Ross Geller. My brother-in-law, um Chandler Bing...he just ..." The tears started to come through in his voice as the reality sunk in. "He, um just passed away. We need Dr. Marshall to come sign the death certificate."

He hung up the phone with a heavy heart. There it was. The action that would officially physically remove Chandler from their lives forever. Ross sank down to his knees in the hallway and openly cried large, heaving sobs for the first time since he was a little boy.

He hadn't even cried this much when he and Rachel had broken up, but this was completely different. This wasn't a break up. This was...an extrication.

Any time beyond the immediate present he could not fathom. All he could think of was that Chandler had just died, and he had just summoned the man that would confirm that. He knew that the doctor would be coming soon and he enlisted Joey's help to convince the girls to leave Chandler's side and go to the apartment across the hall.

Ross had to promise Monica again and again that he and Joey would stay by Chandler's side before she would even entertain the notion of leaving him. Finally, she stole one more last goodbye. She kissed his cool, lifeless lips and as she had promised, she slid the wedding ring off his finger. It seemed all Monica had of him now. "I love you Chandler," she whispered through the sobs.

She let herself be led across the hall by Phoebe and Rachel. No matter what she did to try to staunch them, the tears kept coming in torrents. Ross tried to lay a consoling hand on her arm as she passed, but there would be no consoling today.

Some time later, as he looked on numbly, Chandler's body was taken away. This was the part he had forbidden the girls to see. But for him it was like a bad car accident, unable to tear his eyes away no matter how much he didn't want to see. Ross kept telling himself that that wasn't Chandler in there, but it didn't matter how he lied to himself. His best friend was being carted away and out of there lives forever.

After the door was shut, Ross realized that he was all alone. Joey must have left, being unable to take the sight of the body being taken away. 'The body.' That's all it was now. The essence, the spirit, everything that was Chandler had vacated the premises.

The tears he shed washed away the numbness. He was hit suddenly with the realization of what had just transpired. That first phone call had been horrific. And there were more phone calls to make. He wondered just how he would muster the strength to make them.

'Damn you, Chandler. Why did you have to put me in this position? Why did you have to go and leave me like this? Why?'

"Why indeed," Ross uttered aloud.

Rachel did not question him as she normally would have. She knew what was on his mind - all of their minds at the moment. Instead she moved behind him and lightly massaged his shoulders. "Honey, we need to go soon. The service will be starting," she gently reminded him.

Ross sighed forlornly and patted Rachel's knee. "I know. I just don't think I'm ready to do this, you know?"

Rachel kissed him on the cheek. "Will you ever be really?"

Ross gave a humorless laugh. "No, not really. But..."

"You owe it to Chandler," Rachel finished for him.

"Yeah. You know, I love that about you." Ross took her hand and led her around to the couch. "I love that you can finish my thoughts."

"The way Chandler used to," Rachel amended.

"Exactly." Ross's smile melted into a look of desolation. "How are we gonna get through this?"

"I don't know babe. But I'll be here for you, you know that."

"Absolutely. I am so grateful for that. Otherwise, I don't know what I'd do." He gave a sad shake of the head. "Usually I'd go to Chandler in a situation like this, but, um..." He crossed his hands in front of his mouths to stymie the sob that wanted to escape.

Rachel draped her arms around his neck. "Ross, you don't have to be strong for me. It's okay to not be in control every second."

"I know, but I also have Monica and Joey to think about."

"True, but you have to think about yourself as well. Chandler is your best friend."

"Let's just get through today."

"One day at a time?"

"Exactly."

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Monica leaned heavily on Joey as the pair proceeded up the aisle of the church. She spotted her parents, each holding a twin on their laps. There were so many faces. Some she recognized and some she didn't. But ultimately she was looking through them all, imprisoned within her own internal hell, unable to see beyond her own pain.

Joey led her up to the coffin. She did not want to see Chandler 'laid out' as if he were in some sick, sadistic display, but she lacked the will to protest. Joey kept an arm cinched tight around her slim waist, holding her up. Her feet moved on their own, carrying her forward until she reached the dreaded destination.

At the last second Monica yanked herself free of Joey's grasp and ran down the aisle towards the back of church. She blindly bumped into Ross and Rachel and continued on. They immediately followed with Joey close behind.

The trio caught up with her outside the church doors. Monica was doubled over gasping for air. She staved them off with a hand. "I can't...I can't," she stammered.

Joey stepped forward and bent down until he was at her level. He let his hands fall gently atop hers. "This is hard for me too - for all of us. I can't begin to understand the pain you are going through."

"That's right. You can't," Monica snapped.

"No," Joey agreed. "I can't. But I miss him too...so much." His voice trailed off, steeped in grief.

"I knew this day was coming." Monica seemed to be talking more to herself than any one particular person. "No matter how much I prepared myself, it wasn't enough. I don't think I'm ready to do this."

Joey shook his head unconsciously. "I'm not either. But someone very wise once told me that if I didn't take the opportunity to say goodbye that I would regret it forever." He looked directly at Ross as he said this. Ross understood the meaning and gave him a small smile in return.

Joey flashed a brief grin and returned his attention to Monica. He chuckled out of context which seemed to grab everyone's attention, even Phoebe who had silently joined the group moments before. "You know, I think there's a heaven, and if there is, Chandler is definitely up there making some stupid joke or sarcastic comment trying to get us to lighten up."

Just the mention of his name sent tears coursing down her cheeks, juxtaposed by her smile. "He would definitely hate all of this. He was never very good at goodbyes. And he was always making inappropriate jokes in situations like this. Used to embarrass the hell outta me."

"But that's why we loved him. It was part of who he was. And that's why we're here... to remember all the good stuff. There was lots of good stuff. Please, please come back in and celebrate his life with everyone."

"Alright," she whispered in his ear. He drew her into a big hug.

Joey helped her up and they all entered the church as group, holding hands with Monica placed strategically in the middle. But the group would always be one member short. The ghost of Chandler's memory would always leave an emptiness in them all.

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Joey walked solemnly up to the podium. He surveyed the room which was standing room only. Even though he shouldn't have been, he was slightly surprised at how many lives Chandler had touched. Joey recognized Nora and Charles and gave them a slight nod. Also among the mourners were Gunther, several co-workers and bosses both new and old, and ...Janice. For once in his life, Joey held only sympathy in his heart for her.

He swallowed around the lump in his throat before beginning. "When Ross first asked me to do this, I wasn't sure I really wanted to. Most of you know I'm an actor so I should be comfortable speaking in front of people, right? But this time noone is writing the words for me.

"Chandler was always the one that was good with words." Joey smiled to himself. "Okay, sometimes not so much. But usually when he stuck his foot in his mouth it was because he was trying to cheer one of us up. And more often than not it worked. I mean, who here hasn't fallen victim to one of his sarcastic comments or goofy jokes?"

He paused and took in the faces of those that had come to love Chandler. He saw a few heads bob in agreement. Joey continued. "He was the best friend I ever had, you know. I grew up with a bunch of sisters, but it wasn't until I met Chandler that I knew what it meant to have a brother. We looked out for each other, but mostly he was always the one taking care of me.

"He always encouraged me to follow my dreams and never got on my case about it. If it wasn't for Chandler I never coulda gone to California and realized my dream. As a matter of fact, towards the end, he hid his illness from me knowing that I would come back to New York if I knew. He was right, you know - as always. He knew me better than I knew myself. At first I was angry with him, but then I figured out he was doing it to protect me. That was Chandler - always putting others before himself. But he always did it in such a subtle way that you didn't even know it was happening until he had already made the sacrifice.

"It's funny what you take for granted. I always thought he'd be in my life. I think we all did." Joey's eyes roamed the church until he found the four friends he was aiming this at. "But as I told him right before he moved out of our apartment to move in with Monica, it's not gonna be all the things you do for me that I'll miss. What I'll miss is you, Chandler." Joey brought a fist up to his mouth to stifle the tears. "I'm gonna miss you, man. I'm gonna miss you real bad."

Joey stepped back from the podium and began walking back to his seat. As he passed the open coffin, he lost his composure. He collapsed back into the pew, emotionally spent. Rachel rubbed circles on his back to comfort him. "That was very beautiful, honey. You did Chandler proud."

Her words inadvertently caused him to cry harder. Rachel frowned as this was not her intent. She squeezed his shoulder as she rose to say her peace. All eyes were on her as she reached the raised platform.

Rachel drew in a deep breath and stilled her trembling hands by gripping the side of the podium. "I don't need to tell everyone what an amazing guy Chandler was. You all know. He's done something special for each and every one of us."

She scratched her head out of nervous habit. "I could tell you a hundred reasons why he'll always hold a special place in my heart. His incredible sensitivity when helping me get through my parents' divorce" She glanced Sandra and Leonard's direction. "Or I could mention the cheesecake story, but one of my fondest memories, as weird as it sounds, is actually when I took him shopping after one of his chemo treatments. He was typical grumpy, sarcastic Chandler. But underneath I could tell he was having a blast. He would flash one of those infamous smiles of his and then try to cover it with some cynical remark.

"I always knew what a funny, warm guy he was. We all got to know that guy. But what I learned that day was the depth of his inner strength. Sometimes, I'm ashamed to say, his friends teased him about being weak." She shook her head to negate the statement." It wasn't true. If only we all had that kind of fortitude - and love.

"I used to watch Monica and Chandler together, and how happy they were, and wish that I had that with someone. What Chandler made me realize throughout his ordeal, is that I did have that with someone. Chandler lived every second, and I wanted to follow that example. Even something so mundane as shopping, he took the opportunity to be in the moment. And then he would come home and hold his wife as if they had been apart for months. I was privileged to witness that kind of love, and I will be eternally grateful to Chandler for giving me the smack in the face I needed... to stop wasting time and grab what I cherish most and hold on to it.

"Chandler and Monica certainly did that. And all of us will certainly hold onto Chandler's memory, and cherish the time we got to spend with him."

Rachel stepped down, greeted by Ross on his way up the steps. He squeezed her hand, an intimate gesture meant to give him the strength to say what he needed to say. Instead, he felt washed out, carried along by the river of emotions that coursed through his body.

He cleared his throat to rid his voice of emotion that he was unaccustomed to showing. "You heard Joey talk about what a great friend Chandler was - and he was. And you heard Rachel talk about what a great husband he was. Monica and Chandler had something really special, something I don't think even death can erase.

"But what I wanna talk about is what a great father he was, and never had the chance to be. Chandler was so afraid of commitment and becoming a father because of his upbringing. He didn't want to run out on a wife and kids like had happened to him. He didn't want to be that guy. Sorry guys, but it's true." Ross directed this at Nora and Charles. "I used to watch him with Ben and Emma and wonder how he could have doubts about his ability to be a good dad. They love him so much... it's been really hard to explain to them that Uncle Chandler isn't going to be around to play with them anymore.

"When Monica and Chandler found out they couldn't have children, Chandler was devastated - even more so than Monica which I didn't think was possible. But he got a double whammy because that's when the cancer was diagnosed. He fought so hard to put himself in remission, and he achieved that.

"And then another miracle came into their lives - those two beautiful children over there. I had never seen the two of them so happy. Chandler was so wonderful with them. Everything was perfect - until it wasn't.

"It makes me so angry when I think of how hard Chandler fought for every piece of happiness he had, and how it was taken away from him before he even had a chance to enjoy it. Shortly after the twins were born he found out he was dying. The first thing he did wasn't to scream and cry and curse everyone and everything around him as most of us would've done. The first thing he did was to enlist my help to make sure his wife and children would be taken care of even after he was gone."

Ross heard Monica's sharp intake of breath and turned to address her. "Mon, even despite death, Chandler has made sure you and the kids are going to be taken care of." Ross turned away from Monica's new onslaught of tears to finish his eulogy. "Joey was right. Underneath all the jokes, that's the type of guy Chandler was. He was a great friend, husband, and father. His time on this earth was way too short, and our lives are all the more empty without him in them."

Ross stepped down and paused by the coffin, digging into his pocket. Chandler's hands were folded across his midsection as if in repose. Ross placed his hand atop Chandler's. When he removed his hand the rabbit's foot remained behind. "You once gave me this as kind of a joke before I went away on one of my archeological digs. You told me it was for good luck on my trip. Now I'm returning the favor - for good luck on your journey."

Ross wiped the snot from his nose with his jacket sleeve. "I don't know what I did to deserve it, but thank you for your friendship."

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The five friends sat there long after everyone else had filed past. It was just them and the coffin. Everyone was reluctant to move, but one last private goodbye needed to be said before they moved onto the graveside service.

Amazingly it was Monica that stood up first. She gripped Joey's and Ross's hands, one on each side of her. Phoebe and Rachel fell in step as they walked the short distance to the coffin. The cloying smell of the flowers was almost too much to bear as they arrived at the casket.

Monica stared down at her husband for what would be the last time. She could not wrap her brain around that fact. She didn't want to remember him like this, but the image would be burned into her brain for some time to come. So she studied every line, every angle of his face. She caressed his hands one last time. The coldness not deterring her, she stole one last kiss from his lips, whispering 'I love you' for only him to hear.

Rachel wept as Monica straightened up. "Goodbye," she squeaked out between her sobs. That one word seemed to be all she could manage. Chandler would know what was in her heart anyway. At least she hoped that she had shown him how much she adored him and treasured his friendship. And hope was all she could do now.

Phoebe spoke up for the first time. "I know we will all miss him terribly, but we will see him again. You hear that Chandler? You can't get rid of us that easily. We will see you again on the other side." She smiled down at him and closed her eyes, picturing her own special memories of Chandler.

Ross wanted to protest her words, but bit it back. They all needed to hang onto whatever would get them through tomorrow. But Joey saw his expression and added to Phoebe's sentiment. "She's right, Chandler. I will see you again someday. I have to. Otherwise this was all pointless. And I refuse to believe that. Someday we will meet again...and I can't wait for that day, man. Hopefully, you'll have a hot chick there waiting for me like I asked."

Phoebe slapped his arm. "Joey!"

"What? It is heaven, isn't it?" Joey quickly wiped the grin off of his face when he saw the look Monica was giving him. He turned his attention back to Chandler's still form. "What I'm trying to say is that I love you man, and I'm really gonna miss you."

There was no more left to be said. The time had come. Ross let the others go ahead of him. He struggled with his emotions as he lowered the lid and prepared himself to do one last thing that his friend had asked him to do. His shoes echoed on the ceramic tile as he made the long walk down the aisle.

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"Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust. As we commemorate our brother Chandler ..."

The words were lost on the wind as the coffin was lowered. Handfuls of dirt were thrown on top. Rachel held a rose plucked from atop the coffin, as did the others. There was so little left now to hang onto save for each other.

Joey held his rose almost as it were an infant cradled in his arms. He looked down at it and sighed forlornly, ignoring his aching shoulder. Ross unconsciously rubbed his shoulder too. For them, it wasn't the weight on the coffin they had carried. It was the figurative weight on their shoulders of knowing that they had help put their friend in the ground.

Monica fingered her rose. "So Ross. You said you had something to tell me about how Chandler set up me and the twins."

"Yeah, but not here." He led them away from the other mourners, in a more secluded area of the cemetery. He reached into his inner jacket pocket and produced a copy of the document that he had alluded to earlier.

Ross held the document out for her to see. "Apparently Chandler made some wise investments that he cashed in. He set up this trust for the twins, and also for you." He reached back inside his jacket. "There's also this substantial life insurance policy. It's seems as if Chandler got this when you first got married. He couldn't have gotten that amount after his diagnosis according to my lawyer."

"Do you think he had a premonition that something like this would happen," Phoebe interjected.

Ross shrugged as Monica stood gaping at the figures on the paper. She had seen some of the papers that had been drawn up regarding his wishes, but about this she had no idea and wondered how Chandler had managed to keep something like this hidden from her. Tears sprung to her eyes, blurring the numbers.

Joey glanced at the papers. "Whoa!"

Monica's hands shook as she shuffled the papers. "I know," she whispered. "Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful he did this. But, it doesn't matter without him here to share it with. I want Chandler, not his money."

"I feel the same way." Joey drew her into a brotherly hug.

"Me too," Rachel and Phoebe agreed.

"He was amazing in ways we didn't even know about," Ross glanced in the direction of the fresh mound of dirt.

"I don't know about you guys, but it makes me feel really good to know that I have a guardian angel like Chandler on my side," Phoebe mused.

Monica followed her brother's gaze. "Right now I'm not sure if I believe in angels. I don't believe in anything anymore except Chandler - and Chandler's gone."

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One Year Later...

Phoebe sat alone in her apartment. She was lonely, as she often was these days. She had tried to draw the group together today on the anniversary of Chandler's death, to no avail.

The group had drifted apart over the past year, as if being together was too much of a painful reminder to them all. This fact deeply saddened her. She missed all her friends, not just Chandler.

She had tried watching some old reruns on tv, but quickly became bored and apathetic. It just wasn't the same without Chandler's sarcastic remarks - nothing was. Phoebe continued flipping until she spotted 'Die Hard'. The movie brought warm and familiar feelings back that she hadn't felt in awhile. She started to feel...whole again.

Phoebe got up and disappeared into her bedroom. When she reappeared, she was holding an old photo album that has been worn and tattered from countless thumbing-throughs. She sat cross-legged on the couch and opened it to the first page.

The first picture made her smile inwardly. It was of the six of them in Central Perk, shortly after they had all met and became a group of six. There faces were so young, untouched by the tragedy that adulthood would bring.

Phoebe quickly turned the pages until she got to Monica and Chandler's wedding. Everyone looked so happy. It was truly a joyous event, but it almost wasn't. She had been so mad at Chandler, and terrified for Monica when he vanished on them. What would've happened if Ross hadn't found him? Phoebe could not even entertain that thought. Those two were meant to be together through eternity, and nothing could get in the way of that. The universe would not have that. Chandler's strong, confident smile typified that feeling.

The last page in the book was dedicated to Chandler holding his children. The love in his eyes was plain to see. But it was bittersweet because he had looked so ill towards the end. The smile didn't quite reach his eyes, dampened by the pain. And there was a sadness beneath the surface with the knowledge that he would be parting with those two beautiful creatures so soon.

The transformation of Chandler from the beginning of the photo album to the end was heart breaking, and she bit her lip to keep from crying. Finally she released the tears. There was no one here to hear her cries anyway. She briefly wondered how the others were fairing.

A strong breeze caused the pages in the album to flutter. When they settled into place the book lay open to a picture that had been taken of Phoebe and Chandler at her wedding. It was right before Chandler had given her away, when he had told her how beautiful she looked and planted a kiss on her cheek. She had never seen that picture before, and to her knowledge they had been alone in the coffee house.

Another strong breeze riffled the pages. She rose to shut the window, but it was closed tightly. A strong sense of serenity encompassed her. His presence was suddenly so strong, she involuntarily shivered. "Chandler?"

She was answered with only silence. What was she expecting anyway? He was gone and he wasn't coming back. She jumped as the wind turned the pages once again. The picture it revealed was one of Chandler in a relaxed posed, laughing, presumably at something one of the others had said. Or maybe one of his own jokes. But upon closer inspection the background was one she had never seen before. And then it hit her. It was on the beach, standing in front of the ocean. But Monica had the only copy of that photo - didn't she?

Phoebe let out a small cry. It was mixed with joy. She knew inside that Chandler was at peace and this was his way of letting her know that. She smiled up at the ceiling and spoke to the air around her. "I'm glad you're happy, Chandler. I miss you."

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Joey rewound the tape for the umpteenth time that day. It really was just a hodge podge of events. There was the three guys right before a Knick's playoff game. There were random birthday parties and some of the wedding. But it didn't matter what was on the tape. It just brought him comfort to see Chandler and hear his voice again.

Sometimes Chandler's voice seemed distant and he couldn't immediately recall his face. That fact scared Joey more than anything. He couldn't understand how the most important person in his life could be fading from his memories.

Joey had moved back into his old apartment shortly after the funeral. He needed to be close to the people that had known and loved Chandler. He needed to be in a familiar environment - one that he had shared with Chandler. But the funny thing was he had never seen less of his friends than he did now.

Most nights he wondered around the apartment aimlessly as if he were searching for something. But the something he was searching for could never be found or reclaimed. Usually he ended up in Chandler's old room, sitting in the middle of the empty space.

Sometimes he fingered the foosball table, as if practicing for a game that he would never play. That was where he ended up now.

"I really miss you, man. Things just aren't the same without you." Joey sighed and plopped down next to the foosball table. "I dunno. Maybe I'm just talking to myself. But at least I can pretend that you can hear me."

"I just wish this hurt would go away. I thought time healed all wounds, but not this one. This sucks. I just... I just wish you were here."

A clunking noise caused him to look up from his position on the floor. It took his brain a moment to register what his eyes were seeing. The men on the foosball table were spinning around as if locked in the heat of combat. It stilled just as quickly as it began.

"No way that just happened!"

The men began their competitive dance once again. Joey inched back away from the table. His initial reaction was fear, but as he felt the warmth spread across his midsection he relaxed.

Joey suddenly felt as if invisible arms were wrapping him in a giant bear hug. It was a sensation he hadn't felt in ages. The sensation was deeply comforting. Joey hadn't experienced that feeling for a long time. And only one person had ever made him feel like that.

"Oh God, how I missed this - how I miss you." Joey basked in the feeling. "But it's time for you to move on and rest in peace. I think I'll be alright now. And I'll make sure that your family is okay. I promise you."

The feeling dissipated and left his arms feeling empty, but it gave him that inner peace that he had lacked for the past year. Joey's heart felt like it was released from the vice that had been squeezing the life out of it. He knew that nothing would ever take Chandler away from him as long as he kept him in his heart.

"I'd tell you goodbye man, but this isn't goodbye. Now I know we'll meet again. So dude, don't forget about the hot chicks."

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Ross held the tattered picture reverently in his hands, running a finger along the worn edge. Rachel stared at him sadly from her vantage point behind the sofa as she balanced Emma on her hip. She chewed on her lip, unsure of what to say. She missed Chandler terribly too.

This past year had been rough on them all. Rachel had seen a change in Ross which wasn't surprising. He became even a more devoted father and was a wonderful husband, but underneath the surface there was this lingering emptiness - as if he wasn't all the way there.

She opted for the safe approach. "That is a really good picture of you guys."

Ross did not at first seem like he had heard her. He tore his eyes away from the photograph. "Yeah, it is. He looks good here," he added almost as an afterthought.

"When was this picture taken?"

"In London. I never realized before just how those two were looking at each other." His finger pointed between Monica and Chandler. "I guess they were really meant to be."

Rachel put Emma down for the night, and returned a short time later. "You know, we really should go over there."

"I already tried. I called and she wouldn't answer. So I went over to the apartment and the door was locked. She refused to let me in, said she just wanted to be alone." Ross hung his head. "I don't know what to do for her." He snorted. "I don't even know how to make myself feel better."

"Sweetie, it'll take time."

"Time? But it's been a year. Surely some of the hurt should have dulled by now."

Rachel hugged him and shook her head against his shoulder. "Sometimes, it doesn't. Chandler was such an integral part of all our lives that to have a piece of it ripped away ...sometimes there's nothing there to patch the hole."

Ross started to tear up. "Sometimes I feel him slipping away from me."

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes I hear in my head something that Chandler would've said, some retort or...whatever. But other times, no matter how hard I try, I forget what his voice sounded like - or his laugh. I have to stare at a picture of him to remember his face sometimes, and that bothers me. I don't wanna forget him, but it's happening."

"Sweetie, sometimes memories fade, but it doesn't mean you're forgetting him."

"I know that deep down. I just can't stop thinking about him. What would we be doing if he were here? What would he have been like as a father? It kills me that he never had the chance to find out. He had a hard life. Chandler finally found some happiness, you know. He didn't deserve to have it taken from him. Sometimes I wish it would've been me."

"Don't say that! Chandler wouldn't want you thinking like that." Rachel stormed off into the bedroom and when she returned, she cradled the music box Chandler had given her in her hands.

"What are you doing with that?"

"See this? When I look at this it reminds me of Chandler, and how giving and thoughtful he was. It reminds me of all the good times, and how lucky I was to know Chandler and call him my friend - even if only for a short while. " She set it on the coffee table and grasped Ross's hands in her own.

"Honey, after you left to bring Joey home, it got really bad. He was in tremendous pain. He was suffering. But never once did he wish he could switch places with someone else. Chandler wouldn't have wished that kinda of agony on his worst enemy, let alone a friend. He was the kind of guy who would have rather endured the pain, to save someone else from it."

"I know," Ross whispered.

Rachel rubbed his arm soothingly. "As much as we wanted more time with him, that would have been selfish." She looked down, finding the next words hard to say. "I know this is hard to hear, but... He was in so much pain that he begged and pleaded for it to end. For a minute, I thought he was asking me to help him...you know. But he just wanted to be let go.

"What I'm trying to tell you is that Chandler is in a better place now. He is no longer sick and in pain. There are no more surgeries, no more chemo, no more suffering. He fought so hard, and his body was just worn out. Chandler was so tired, Ross. We should be happy that he doesn't have to live through that stuff anymore. As much as it hurts us not to be able to talk to him, to hug him...we have to let him go."

Ross's face crumpled and his voice broke. "I just miss him so much, Rach." He sobbed as he collapsed against her shoulder. She made shushing noises as she stroked the back of his head.

The sound of creaking caused her to turn her head. Rachel looked in wonderment as the music box opened by itself. "Ross.."

"Huh?"

"Look." She pointed to the box as the music began to spill out of it.

"Did you..."

"No, I didn't touch it."

"Don't you have to wind it up to get it to play?"

Rachel nodded, speechless.

"When's the last time -"

"I don't know."

"How could... How," Ross stuttered out. The song rose in pitch until it was nearly deafening. "I'm not sure I believe what I'm seeing."

"That's it! That's the name of the song," Rachel exclaimed. "God, that's been driving me crazy."

The melody slowed down and speeded up intermittently. Ross, now spooked, closed it to halt the music. But it stubbornly refused to stop playing. When he reopened the lid, there lay the picture that he had been holding only minutes earlier. "Oh my God," he breathed. "Chandler..."

"Do you believe now?"

Ross swallowed hard and looked upwards. "I believe."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Monica stared into the empty glass of wine she held. She had an inner debate with herself before she rose to pour herself another glass. She knew that drowning her sorrows in alcohol would only temporarily dull the pain, but today she didn't care how much she drank, and that she was drinking alone. The twins had long since been down for the night anyway.

Alone was something she had chosen to be. Ross and Phoebe had wanted them all to be together on the anniversary of Chandler's death, but it was just too much to bear. It wasn't a celebratory occasion, and the thought of putting on a brave face and laughing at the good times while crying on the inside, simply nauseated her. She preferred to wallow in her grief.

As she walked through the apartment to refill her glass, she averted her eyes. Looking at the wedding photos hanging on the wall was more than she could take at the moment. After she hoisted herself over the window ledge, she rewrapped one of Chandler's old shirts around her to stave off the chill.

The breeze on the balcony carried his scent to her nose. Chandler's shirt stilled smelled faintly of him - old, stale cigarettes and aftershave. She inhaled his scent deeply, savoring every last olfactory drop.

Being out here made her remorseful. He had begged her and begged her to have sex on the balcony, and she never relented. Now she wish she would have. There were a lot of things she would have done differently in her life, but Chandler was never one of them. He was the best thing that ever had happened to her. And she wouldn't have changed a thing, even knowing how it would end.

Her gaze landed on her left ring finger, now glaringly bare. She had not taken off her wedding ring by choice. She had lost it down the drain doing the dishes. Monica had been so upset she literally sobbed for days, and then finally called a plumber to dismantle the pipes in a futile attempt to find it. But it was lost forever, and she was forced to mourn another piece of Chandler that would never return.

Monica wished for it back, but she would have gladly traded it for Chandler. Her arms ached from being empty. Her lips yearned for his kiss, and her ears for his infectious laugh. As lonely and heartbroken as she was during the day, the nights were worse. Their bed was cold and empty without him in it. No one was there to keep her company during the midnight feedings. The twins were the crux of her existence now.

And existence was all it was now. She couldn't call it living. Monica merely drifted through the day. Work and parenthood was her only way to get outside of herself. She sighed and stared up at the stars.

"I'm taking care of them like I promised you, but it's just not the same without you here." She laughed softly and place her wine glass on the ledge. "You won, Bing. Erica said her first word today. It was Dada - not Mama. I wish you could have heard it. Maybe you did, I don't know. You're not even here and she's a daddy's girl."

"I show them you're picture every day and tell them how much you love them, but it's a poor substitute for the real thing." Across the street soft, melodic music wafted over. Monica let a tear roll down her cheek. "I never stop wishing you were here. I want one more slow dance - one more...anything with you. I go through the day and realize I haven't even cracked a smile. The laughter has gone out of our lives since you've been gone, and I don't know how to get it back. I don't know if we ever will."

"My dear, sweet, funny Chandler. I miss you so much. I know that's selfish of me. I should be glad you're not suffering, in pain anymore. But I want you here with me - with the kids. Is that so wrong? Sometimes I feel you're presence so strongly, and it's like you've never left. And that hurts to feel that because sometimes I expect you to walk through that door. But then I remember, and I lose you all over again."

The music swelled to a deafening pitch, startling her and causing her to knock the wine glass off the ledge onto the balcony. It was in a million tiny little pieces. Monica scoffed. "Just like my heart. Ironic."

Monica did a double take. She had had a lot of wine and thought her semi-drunken state was causing her hallucination. Monica bent down and held the circular object in her hand. She turned it over and over. Even in the low light it sparkled. "Oh my God."

Monica slid it on her finger with a trembling hand. It wasn't possible, was it? Had her silent prayer really been answered?

She didn't have to wonder for long as a feeling of warmth and love that she had been lacking this past year, enveloped her. She felt the soft caress on her cheek that moved down to her shoulders, and then landed on the small of her back. She closed her eyes and parted her lips as she felt the familiar kiss. Monica swayed unknowingly with the music.

When she opened her eyes she could see Chandler with her, holding her. She never wanted this feeling to end, the familiar touch she had been longing for. Monica didn't care whether it was in her imagination or not, it was real to her. But she could not deny the realness of the cold metal on her left hand.

Monica blinked, and as quickly as his image had come before her, it was gone again. The music continued in the background. "It was you, wasn't it Chandler? I never really lost you did I? I just have to wait, but I will see you again. You know patience never was my virtue, but for you I will wait out eternity."

Monica smiled, really smiled, up at the sky. "I love you too, so much. I've never stopped and I never will."

The dawning of the day brought new hope and meaning into her life. Whether her encounter was real or imagined was inconsequential. Her heart had begun to mend, and she knew that even if she was without Chandler for the rest of her life, she would not be without him forever. Their love would stand the test of time, and death. Like a beacon in the night, their love for one another would lead them back to each other.

Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin

I feel you come back again

And it's like you haven't been gone a moment from my side

Like the tears were never cried

Like the hands of time are holding you and me

And with all my heart I'm sure we're closer than we ever were

I don't have to hear or see, I've got all the proof I need

There are more than angels watching over me

I believe, oh I believe

Now when you die your life goes on

It doesn't end here when you're gone

Every soul is filled with light

It never ends and if I'm right

Our love can even reach across eternity

I believe, oh I believe

Forever, you're a part of me

Forever, in the heart of me

I would hold you even longer if I can

Oh, the people who don't see the most

Say that I believe in ghosts

If that makes me crazy, then I am

'Cause I believe

Oh I believe...yes I do

There are more than angels watching over me

I believe, oh I believe

Every now and then soft as breath against my skin

I feel you come back again

... and I believe

- Diamond Rio

THE END

Whew! This fic is finally complete. This part was very difficult to write and I'm still not completely satisfied with it, but... I thought I took enough time writing it. Thank you to all of you who reviewed this fic and stuck with me throughout the whole thing, even if I did kill off Chandler :D It has been an emotionally draining, yet satisfying experience to write this. And I thank you all for the continued encouragement, and that you found my fic worth reading.

Yours Sincerely,

Chandy