Author's Note: I could find no first name listed anywhere for Doctor MacKenzie, so I've made one up.

Shadows of Fear – Part 9

Lyle MacKenzie caught movement out the corner of his eyes up in the observation room, and saw Janet Fraiser's hand reaching out to touch the glass as she leaned forward. He didn't let himself be distracted, concentrating his attention on the man in front of him – his patient.

Colonel Jack O'Neill was standing by the edge of the bed, his hand out and pointing. His eyes were fixed on a spot just in front of him, slightly to the right and forward of where MacKenzie stood; a spot completely empty of anyone, just as the rest of the room was.

"Ba'al?" Even as he spoke MacKenzie was re-evaluating the tentative conclusions he'd come to so far about the case.

"Sort of throws your theories out the window, eh Doctor?" O'Neill wasn't looking at him, but his voice fairly dripped with sarcasm. "I don't have a lot of repressed guilt over how I treated Ba'al, especially considering that as far as I know he isn't dead." He spun, the sudden movement taking MacKenzie by surprise. "Excuse me."

The doctor barely had time to turn himself before the colonel was at the door, thumping on it violently.

"Open!"

"Colonel!" Reaching out, he grabbed the man's shoulder. "You must …" And found himself crushed to the ground, O'Neill's weight heavy on his back.

Alarms blared as he fought to get back the breath that had been knocked out of him. As soon as the colonel moved he pushed up onto his hands and half sat, gasping as he watched two burly SF's wrestling with the struggling officer.

"Are you all right, sir?" Doctor Fraiser had entered the room and was bending to help him up, but he ignored the proffered hand and stood, moving past her while giving a quick nod. He stood directly in front of O'Neill, seeing the man's eyes skittishly shift to and fro as if searching for something.

"Colonel – look at me." Putting every ounce of authority he could muster into his voice, he barked the words. "Look at me. Nowhere else, only at me."

There was a moment when he thought it wouldn't work, but, after a few seconds, O'Neill's gaze slowly turned towards him. He swallowed and straightened in the guards' hands, making a quick and unsuccessful attempt to shake them off.

"Doctor?" Fraiser held out a syringe, keeping it out of sight of O'Neill.

MacKenzie shook his head.

"Sorry." The single word was spoken simply and without inflection and MacKenzie acknowledged it by ordering the SF's to release the now quiet man. O'Neill stayed still as they left the room, his eyes remaining fixed on Lyle's face.

"I should apologise to you, Colonel. I shouldn't have grabbed you like that."

"I thought …"

MacKenzie interrupted. "Ba'al?"

"Yeah."

"Doctor Fraiser, I'm transferring Colonel O'Neill from this ward to his quarters. Could you have them readied immediately." He spoke quickly, not shifting his gaze from O'Neill's. "While you're doing that, I'd like a private word with the colonel."

"Sir, I'd have to get the general's permission to move Colonel O'Neill, and I'm not sure …"

"Then get it. Tell him that I either treat him in his quarters or the psych ward of the Academy Hospital, whichever he prefers."

O'Neill's eyes left his, moving to Fraiser's incredulous face as she left the room, but Lyle pulled them back with a gruff command.

"Colonel, focus on me and on me alone." He waited for a moment, then asked, "Do you trust me?"

This could go either way. He waited anxiously for the all important answer. When it came, it was spoken with O'Neill's customary confidence – hell, he'd prefer to call it arrogance if he didn't acknowledge he suffered from the same failing.

"Yes. I trust you. I don't like you, but I trust you."

MacKenzie didn't allow his relief at the answer to show. "Good. I want you to concentrate on me at all times. When we leave here I need you to listen to my voice and ignore anything else – no matter what it is."

"If you're trying to hypnotise me, Doc, it ain't going to work. It's been tried."

He nodded. "I know, but I have a question - can you tell if Ba'al is in the room with us if you concentrate on me? Is what you're experiencing purely visual, or are there other senses involved?" O'Neill's eyes began to shift and he quickly spoke again. "No – focus on me. Don't look for him."

There was a long pause, then the colonel nodded, his reluctance clear. "I can feel them."

"What can you feel?"

"Hands. Fingers. Breath." He stopped and shut his eyes for a second, a shudder running through him. "Tongues." His dark eyes fixed on Lyle's again. "All the time. Even when I sleep."

MacKenzie caught his own answering shudder in time to suppress it, but inside he felt a tiny portion of the horror this man must be suffering. "Can you tell one from another, or are they just general touches – not specific to individuals such as Major Kawalsky?"

Again there was a slight hesitation before O'Neill answered, and Lyle knew he was concealing something. "No, they're just feelings. I can't tell who's doing what if that's what you mean."

"All right …" There was a short knock on the door, then it opened.

Janet Fraiser was accompanied by Doctor Jackson and the Jaffa, Teal'c. "General Hammond has given permission to have the colonel transferred, Doctor, but under my protests. We still don't know what we're dealing with here. The General has also ordered Teal'c remain in the room with you and that there are guards placed on the colonel's door."

MacKenzie nodded in agreement. He knew he'd have to speak with General Hammond soon, but in the meantime the general's orders merely reflected his own wishes. Without spelling it out, he needed a discrete suicide watch to be kept on O'Neill, and Teal'c's presence would fit the bill exactly. O'Neill's tendency towards depression was well documented. MacKenzie had viewed the surveillance footage of the robot doubles in the infirmary a few years back and flinched when it showed O'Neill's robot slashing his arm without hesitation. It hadn't been the tentative horizontal cut of a worried man, but the swift and sure vertical cut of someone who knew what they were doing, and perhaps had done it before. Robot O'Neill had all the feelings and memories of the original and MacKenzie couldn't help wondering if he'd had experience in slashing his own wrists. His actions had sent alarm bells ringing in the psychiatrist's mind and caused him to look more closely at the colonel's records.

A suicide watch was definitely warranted.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The absurdity of the situation almost had Jack laughing, but it was just a fleeting moment, soon subdued in the horror of what he was experiencing. Feeling just a little more relaxed now he was in his own quarters and away from the public humiliation of the isolation room, he strove to concentrate on what Doctor MacKenzie was saying.

It was surprisingly easy to block most things out as the psychiatrist kept him occupied. Even the journey through the corridors had been accomplished without incident. MacKenzie had ordered the hallways cleared, something Jack was grateful for. The doctor said it was to reduce the chance of distractions, but Jack was just pleased the number of people who saw him first hand had been reduced. It was bad enough that Daniel and Teal'c knew how far he'd sunk. He'd been sickeningly thankful MacKenzie had only allowed Teal'c to stay, ordering Daniel and Janet away.

God, he felt wrecked – as if he was perched on sharp rocks waiting for a slight breeze to push him off into the ocean.

A cold hand clutched his, but he refused to look down and it soon moved off, tracing its long fingers up his arm, its nails scraping the skin of his wrists. It slowly worked its way up until it reached his neck and ran down the line of scar tissue at its back.

Hathor.

There was one he knew.

Another was Ba'al. Even without looking Jack recognised his touch – he had felt it often enough back in the Goa'uld's palace.

And another.

Akmar.

He jumped as a line of dampness formed across his cheek, echoing a ghostly tongue.

"Colonel. On me!"

His eyes snapped back to meet the doctor's.

MacKenzie was the lifeline to which he now clung. The doctor's sheer perseverance was worthy of a medal.

Jack had never particularly liked the man, but he did acknowledge his professionalism. They had worked closely together over the last six years, Jack's position of second in command and MacKenzie's as staff psychiatrist necessitating weekly meetings, and he had found himself admiring the doctor's genuine desire to do his best for the men and women of the SGC. Jack might not like him much – couldn't see them going out for a drink after work and they certainly weren't on first name basis – but he didn't dislike him either. And he did trust him.

"I'll tell you something which I may regret if proven wrong." MacKenzie leaned forward and spoke softly, but Jack knew it wasn't in an effort to keep Teal'c from hearing. The Jaffa sat unobtrusively on the other side of the small room, watching their every move.

"Go on."

"I don't think you're suffering from a psychological disorder."

A weight seemed to lift at the doctor's words, but dropped down again crushingly as Jack processed what he had said and began to question.

"Why? It's the obvious explanation." He acted as his own devil's advocate.

"Your recent experience with Ba'al had a profound effect on you." Jack couldn't help giving a disbelieving snort at the blatantly obvious words, but MacKenzie ignored him. "I know you have never told me everything you went through in his hands, and I doubt you ever will, but I do know you have coped surprisingly well after going through something no one could be expected to survive – certainly not unchanged. Having said that, one thing I am sure of is that you have no guilt whatsoever over what happened. Therefore, despite what I said before, these hallucinations are not the result of any repressed feelings. I doubt you have any repressed feelings about Ba'al." He smiled. "Am I right?"

"Repressed? Hell no. I want to carve Ba'al slowly into little pieces and feed him to himself – nothing repressed about that."

"Exactly. So I think we can say the appearance of Ba'al has opened a whole new line of investigation. Would you agree?"

Jack nodded, but added, "Then where does that leave us? I'm the only one seeing these things and they all relate to me in some way. They've checked for outside causes. . ." He threw his hands up, standing to turn. "But you know all this …"

And came face to face with all his nightmares.

The one moment of forgetfulness was all it took.

They reached for him, their ruined faces gloating, their dead eyes vacant yet piercing through him. He felt them sucking him from within, the pain a physical wrenching.

"Colonel!"

"O'Neill!"

His breath froze within his chest, the ice creeping through his arteries to reach his brain, to reach his heart.

And he could do nothing to stop it.

Falling down the slow miles it took to reach the floor, he curled in on himself and was gone.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Doctor MacKenzie saw the moment he lost O'Neill, but could do nothing. By the time he leaped up and moved to him, the colonel was already down.

He beat Teal'c to the fallen man by a fraction of a second, kneeling beside him to turn him, his hands on the hunched shoulders.

A touch was all that was needed.

He felt their hands, saw the gore dripping from their mangled bodies, smelt the foulness that filled the air around them, and saw things so unspeakable he could do nothing more than scream.

TBC