Jackie is being very nice to you today. She sent me another part to post to make up for you having to wait so long. Remember to be nice to her in return by giving her reviews. - Flatkatsi.

Supporting Rumors - Part 53

Sam looked up as she heard the door closing. She'd managed to grab a couple of hours sleep on the couch and she felt a little better for it, but it couldn't do anything to help the despair and guilt she felt coiled in her stomach and the ache in her heart.

George Hammond came into the room almost on tiptoe and she restrained the ridiculous urge to giggle. He moved softly for such a large man and she could just picture him playing Santa Claus...

"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you ..."

She shook her head and sat up. Shaking the blanket down from her shoulders she smiled and patted the seat, signaling him to sit beside her. "I wasn't asleep. I did manage a couple of hours though."

"Jack's sleeping."

"That's good."

Hammond nodded. "Yes, yes it is. I managed to grab a few words with Teal'c and he seems to think that Jack's feeling ..."

"Betrayed? Hurt? Angry?" Sam couldn't help the spew of word that left her lips. She bit down, clearly troubled, her eyes moist with unshed tears.

"Hey." Hammond grasped the hand that was nearest to him and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You're both hurting. Jack will never admit there's a strong chance of never walking again ..."

"And I'm scared that one day he'll have to admit it," finished Sam. "Mr half full, meet Mrs half empty," she spat bitterly.

"He can't afford to admit it, Sam. He's been through a hell of a lot over the years and he's just begun a new life. A new job, marriage - and he wants it back. You can't expect him to settle for less. He needs you Sam, needs you more than ever. He's a fighter and will keep fighting to the end, just like on the battlefield. He will never give less than one hundred and ten percent."

Sam listened to the words of a trusted friend. She knew in her heart that Jack was indeed a fighter. In all the years she had known him, he had never given less than he could have to his job – to getting the job done. And with his life - despite the many set backs and horrors he had faced, although he had faltered at times, in the end he had gone on. Things which would have sent many a person screaming in horror he had battled through and although she guessed a tiny part of him died each time, when he was with her he was whole. He didn't deserve less than he gave. He gave one hundred and ten percent - so why couldn't she?

Hammond continued, his voice filled with compassion. "Don't be frightened of failure, Sam. Your attitude won't help him, it won't change his mind and it could possibly hurt him more than failure would. If you are with him every step of the way, then he won't be alone and together you will have the strength to face whatever may come."

The tears rolled down Sam's face unchecked. She knew what the old General was saying was right. All her life she had never wanted to face failure. Failure was bad ... failure was something she wasn't allowed ... except with Jack. He had never said that failure was bad. Never called her on it. What he had always expected was the best she could offer.

"I've failed him by being frightened of failure huh?" she whispered.

George gave her a smile, along with a handful of tissues. "No, not failed, just disappointed, but that is something you can fix – right?"

Sam nodded and began to wipe her face. "I sure hope I can ... if he'll listen. Oh God, I can't believe I was so stupid ..."

Hammond smiled and stood. "Go and get cleaned up, then talk to him."

Sam rose with him and gave him a hug. Despite the smile on her face, the tears trickled ... she still had to fix things with Jack.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Jack was still asleep. Teal'c had left her on her own some half hour since and she stood near the window, her fingertips pulling down a few of the slats of the blind. She peered out, watching the people below zigzagging across the lawns and paths of the hospital, some scurrying about their business, others strolling slowly.

She closed her eyes for a few minutes. Only the harsh sounds of his breathing and the steady quiet blip from the monitor broke the silence. She hoped he would listen – whether he would forgive her was another matter entirely.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

As Jack's eyes flickered open, he caught sight of a blurred figure against the window and for a moment felt a little alarmed by the presence. The louder and faster blip on the monitor betrayed him and the figure swung around, quickly crossing the room to approach him.

"Jack?"

The figure swung into focus as he managed to open his eyes and focus more fully at the soft sound of his wife's voice.

"Who else were you expectin?" he muttered sarcastically.

She ignored his grumble, her eyes fixed on his. He couldn't help but notice the red rimmed appearance of them and how pale she looked.

"I ... can we talk? Please?"

"Well, I thought about checking out for a drive or a meal, but hey, what the hell ..." He didn't miss the pained expression in her eyes and the resolute straightening of her shoulders, before she turned away to drag a chair closer to the bed. She sat down and jammed her hands between her knees, palms together.

"Jack, I am sorry that I ... that I didn't ... that it didn't seem that I believe you when you said that ... what I mean is that ..."

"Come on Carter, piss or get off the pot," growled Jack. He knew he wasn't exactly being helpful with whatever she wanted to say, but hey, that was tough, wasn't it!

Sam looked incredibly hurt at his remark and Jack flicked his gaze away from her. He'd called her Carter since they'd been married, yeah, sure, but never in anger ... only as an endearment.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Jack couldn't help his gaze being drawn back to her. "Sorry for what?" Oh, yeah, that was good ... rub salt on the open wound ... cast his soul out to the devil ... what the hell ... "Sorry you married me? Sorry I got shot? What? Just what the fuck are you sorry for, Sam?"

He watched her eyes widen, the distress in them painful to watch, but watch he did. He knew he was a bastard ... with a capital B!

"I'm sorry for not believing in you."

Jack's anger began to crawl back down the wall it had been climbing and fear began climbing past it. Her wretched expression and the guilt wracked frame were penetrating the thick hide he had developed, just as surely as a sharp knife could.

"Why Sam?" he asked, his voice a little husky. "Don't you want me to walk? Do you want out of this marriage – is that it?"

"Oh, God, no!" Sam's look of shocked horror startled him. "No, Jack, please. I love you, you must know that. I ... it's just that I can't ... no, I was ... am, afraid that if you got your hopes too high and then you ... well things didn't work out – then you would ..." The tears began to track down her face, "then you ... then I would lose you. I need you so much Jack and I want you to succeed. I want you back to as you were, but if that isn't going happen, I do still want you."

Jack felt at a loss for words. Something was grabbing his heart and squeezing, probably the same something that was causing the lump in his throat to swell as well.

"I am going to walk again, Sam. It may not happen for a while, probably not as fast as I would like, but I am going to do it. I will not believe that this is the end of how I want to live."

"I want so much to believe that, but I am so afraid for you."

Her hand snaked out towards him and he grasped it tightly. "Oh God, it hurts so much that you can't trust me ... I won't let you down."

"Let me down?" she echoed, her voice disbelieving. "You won't let me down, nothing you do or don't do will ever let me down. It's me, it's my fault ..." Her voice wavered and Jack crushed her hand tighter. Her other hand rose to brush at the tears that fell. She sniffled and blinked away the tears as they continued. "I've let you down. I couldn't – didn't want you to be ... to think that everything will be miraculously okay with ..."

Jack swallowed harshly. He blinked back the moisture he felt pricking at his own lids. "Hey, it's okay ..."

"No," she whispered. "I want you to know that I want you to walk again, that if anyone, anyone in this world – no - universe can do that, then it's you and I will be with you every ... every damn step, no matter how small."

Jack didn't try and stop the water he felt beginning to track down his face. He could only stare, the depth of love shining in her eyes so completely overwhelmed him, he knew that he could never find the words to match and instead he chose action. He pulled at her hands and tugged her willing body up and towards him, enveloping her in his arms.

She brought her lips to his and they joined hungrily, searching and tasting. Fighting for more of her, he drew her across him, silencing her protest with his mouth still sealed to hers. Her body pressed against his tightly. He broke off purely for the need to draw a breath, but his hands were not still, stroking her face, his thumbs brushing her cheeks.

Sam made as if to draw back, protesting she might hurt him, but he pulled her closer, brushing her lips with his, feeling more alive than he had done for so long now…

Sam's eyes widened suddenly and she drew her face back, breaking into a giggle.

"What?" he demanded, puzzled.

Sam couldn't answer. She grabbed at his hand and drew her upper body away from his, placing his hand over his covered groin.

"Things are definitely looking up, flyboy!" she smirked.

Jack was momentarily stunned. There was no mistaking just what Sam meant and he had the evidence in his hand, so to speak . . .

"It ... I didn't feel it ..." he muttered, slightly embarrassed, but also the fact that he didn't have any sensation of it happening was a little upsetting to say the least.

Sam's face clouded slightly and she dipped her head, bringing it close to his, their foreheads touching, her hands clasping his face. "It's a start, Jack – and I for one don't intend to look a gift horse in the mouth. At least I still turn you on, huh?" Her face and eyes lit up with expectation.

Jack took a breath. She was beautiful. She was right. "Okay Mrs Positive," he put a featherlike kiss onto her lips, "now where were we?"

Sam's attention deviated back to his mouth, her tongue flicking across his lips, tasting him, and he groaned as the familiar delicious shivers she wrought from him traversed his senses…

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

TBC