DISCLAIMER: HG characters do not belong to me.
Chapter 34-District 4
Katniss followed her mother up to her apartment, Katniss was given the number of the hotel room her guards were staying in. She was instructed to call them when leaving her mother's apartment at all times.
Katniss was impressed with her mother's place, it was nice and bright and had a lot of decorations that were ocean themed. Her apartment had two bedrooms and two bathrooms. She even had a laundry facility in the closet of the kitchen.
Katniss told her how much she liked her place after her mother was done giving her the tour. Her mother gave a small smile and moved in for a hug. Katniss returned the embrace-she was glad her mother didn't try to hug her in front of the guards. After the embrace finished her mother said, "Peeta called me and told me about Rain. I am so sorry Katniss."
Katniss looked down at the ground, unable to make eye contact. "I'm sorry too, she was your friend as well."
"What happened?"
Katniss sat her mother down and explained everything, the militia groups, the cameras, and how she and Rain were captured. Katniss watched as her mother put her hand up to her face and covered her mouth in shock when Katniss told her about Rain's torment and death.
"No one deserves that, especially someone as good as her" Mrs. Everdeen said with sadness in her voice. While she looked upset, she didn't look like she was going to cry, Katniss knew that was not her mother's style.
"No-she didn't. Gale's squad is going to find them and make sure they are returned to the Capitol." Katniss then went into detail about Gale and how they were recently reunited.
She also talked about life with the tribe before Rain's death and how she is trying to move forward and let go of the past-including the issues the two of them have. She told her everything that had transpired in the last four months.
"Is that why you came here instead of going back home to Peeta?" Mrs. Everdeen asked.
"Partly, but also because—I don't think I can return to District 12. At least not now, maybe never. I think—I need to see what life could be like in another district. It is just not the same without-"But before Katniss could finish her mother put a hand on shoulder and said, "I know, you know that's why I cannot go back there."
"At first I was forced to be there, but, I think enough time has passed that maybe I can be in another district now. But hearing about these militia groups doesn't help."
"Gale will find a way to protect you, he protected you in District 12, he'd do anything for you." Katniss couldn't help but notice how her mother said that with absolute certainty.
"It used to be that way, now, I am not so sure. You know he is engaged-I know you know." Katniss still felt slightly betrayed to hear that her mother kept in touch with Gale-it made her feel as if her feelings were insignificant.
Mrs. Everdeen knew her daughter and could tell by her tone how she felt. "Yes, I know. Look Katniss-I know you believe it was Gale's idea that resulted in Prim's death, but I never felt that way. We never knew for sure whether or not it was his bomb design."
"You knew how I felt."
"Yes, but I also remember how Gale was there for me and Prim. While the two of us are not close, I cared for him, I still do. I cannot and will not forget what he did for us while you were in the arena. He came to bring us food before feeding his own family. You wouldn't know because you weren't there. I will not turn my back on someone who helped me, especially for something that may or may not been his doing."
Katniss looked off to the side, clearly upset that her mother spoke the truth. For she knew it was the truth, she just didn't want to admit it because it was easier to place the blame of Prim's death on someone else besides Snow and Coin. They were both dead, with Gale, she had that hatred to hold onto. And by hating Gale, it was easier to let him go and move on—with Peeta.
After a few moments of silence Katniss said, "It is easier to hate than to forgive, and it is not the bomb design that I can't forgive Gale for—I can't forgive him because he was willing to sacrifice innocent people. Prim was one of those people Mom."
"Everyone has their faults Katniss, did you have a right to take Coin's life?"
"She would have been no better than Snow you know that."
"But who gave you the right to take her life?"
Katniss looked at her mother-seething with anger, how dare she question what she did in the Capitol that day. She got up and began walking for the door. All of the sudden she heard, "We can still love someone Katniss, even if we hate their actions."
Katniss stopped dead in her tracks. With her back turned to her mother she said, "Do you think I was wrong to kill her?"
"No. You did what you had to do. My point was, how was what you did any different than Gale? You did what you felt you had to do-so did he."
Katniss turned back around and walked back to the couch, sitting down by her mother again. She inhaled deeply and said, "Being with Gale these last few days, made me realize how much I missed him. And while with the tribe, he was in my dreams, I think about him all the time. I can't stop. I'm a terrible person, I have betrayed Peeta, the one person who has always been there for me."
"Gale was always there for you as well."
"I know, but I chose Peeta and I was happy-in the beginning at least. I don't know how I am going to tell him I can't return to District 12. But I need to be away, I don't blame you for staying away."
Mrs. Everdeen leaned closer to Katniss and said, "What will you do about Gale?"
"What can I do? He's engaged. I can't just tell him how I feel and expect him to drop his fiancé and be with me. Besides, Rain thought it would be best if I was not in a relationship at all-at least not for a while. That's why I wanted to stay here-if that is alright with you."
Mrs. Everdeen didn't respond, instead she took Katniss's hand and squeezed it. It was a touching but not common moment between the two of them.
While still holding her hand Mrs. Everdeen said, "Of course it is okay. I think Rain was right though, if you feel you can longer be with Peeta, you can't go running to Gale. It is not fair to him or his fiancé. I never met her, but she sounds like a lovely person from what he has told me."
"At least we are friends again, I still have that."
"Yes, you do. The two of you had something special, I was sad for you when that ended." Mrs. Everdeen couldn't help but remember what Peeta told her the day Katniss left for District 9. That the next time he saw Katniss things between them would not be the same.
Peeta saw the powerful connection between Katniss and Gale and never underestimated it. While Mrs. Everdeen felt sympathy for Peeta, she knew her daughter needed Gale in her life. It was their friendship that saved Katniss from her grief when her father died, Mrs. Everdeen hoped their friendship could help save her again.
"Thanks Mom, I know I don't tell you this enough, but I love you."
"I love you too Katniss." This time Katniss did see tears forming in her mother's eyes.
The next 8 days flew by for Katniss and her mother. Even though Mrs. Everdeen worked, she was able to take a couple of days off. They went to the beach, Katniss got to swim in the ocean for the first time. She found she liked it better than swimming in lakes but had a hard time getting used to the taste of salt water. She went on a boat tour one day while her mother was at work, and she went on a fishing tour. She found it was easy to keep busy in District 4 due to the nice weather. At night her mother either cooked or they went out for dinner, and they often took long walks down the beach.
The day before her last day in District 4, she was walking in the downtown area of District 4 where most of the shopping for the District was located. She was mostly window shopping, for she didn't want to buy stuff just to carry around with her in the wild territory. While strolling down the main street she saw a tall man walking her way, she thought she was hallucinating because she thought she saw Gale walking towards her. But then she quickly realized it was Rory, forgetting that Gale said he was in District 4.
"Rory?" Katniss said as he walked past.
Rory turned around, confused that someone would randomly stop him on the street, but then when he saw it was Katniss he said, "Katniss-is that you?"
"Yes-it's me. I am here visiting my mother. Wow, I can't believe how much you have grown."
"Yeah, it's been a while. How are you?"
"I'm doing okay, I saw your brother recently."
Rory looked at her in surprise, "Really? Gale said you two never spoke anymore."
"Well, we didn't, but-long story short, we decided to try being friends again."
Rory nodded at Katniss but didn't respond. She couldn't help but be amazed how much he looked like Gale, even more so now that he was older, he wasn't quite as tall as Gale, but was still pretty tall.
Katniss decided to try to keep the conversation going, "Anyway, he told me you were a fisherman here now."
"Yeah, I've been here about three years now. I like it here, the money is good and the weather is always warm here, unlike in District 12."
Katniss smiled at Rory, she noticed he looked behind her quizzically. Katniss looked behind her, he obviously spotted her guards, who were trying to look busy in conversation. Katniss guessed Rory caught the guards eyeing them. She decided not to go into detail about that.
"Well, I better go, it was good seeing you again Rory."
"You too Katniss, tell your mother I said hello."
"I will, take care of yourself."
"Thanks-you too." He looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't.
Once he was out of sight Katniss walked up to the guards and said, "Could you be anymore obvious?"
The one solider, named Braden laughed and said, "Most people don't notice, that one was observant."
Katniss couldn't refute that, Rory was observant, he did learn from his wiser older brother after all.
The day Katniss had to leave, she was surprised how hard it was for her to say goodbye to her mother. They had such a good time together she was sad to leave.
"Be careful" her mother had said as Katniss was packing her things.
"I will. Once I am ready to leave the village, I will come back. Who knows, maybe I could even get a job here. Not sure what I would do though."
"Worry about that when you get back. And Katniss-"
Katniss looked up from packing, waiting for her mother to finish, finally her mother said, "You will need to tell Peeta sooner rather than later your decision."
Katniss sighed and continued packing, she knew her mother was right. She should have called Peeta while in District 4 but she just couldn't do it. She hated being such a coward, but she knew this was by far one of the hardest conversations she would ever have with anyone.
"I'll see if I can try to call him before we leave tomorrow."
Her mother nodded and hugged her tight in response, giving her support through actions instead of words.
After Katniss got back to District 9's main base, she was informed by Spencer that personal calls were not allowed. He even told her that Gale wasn't allowed to call his fiancé.
Katniss knew it was wrong of her to throw her former status around, but she didn't want to delay talking to Peeta more than she already had, she informed Spencer she would take it up with President Paylor.
"It is because of me she is in the position she is in" Katniss told Spencer.
"Can we call tomorrow morning please? I think she would be less annoyed than if we called at 10 pm."
"Sure, and thanks-you know I consider you a friend right?"
Spencer smiled smugly and said, "I would hope so! I have never bent the rules for anyone as much as I have you."
That night Katniss dreamed about Gale. She came to expect dreaming about him, this dream however, was vastly different. In this dream he was in what looked like a dark room, his feet chained to the wall. He looked beaten and starved. In his hand he was holding a picture of her. His fingers traced around the picture, as if he was memorizing it.
She was screaming at him, getting up in his face and waving her hands. But he didn't respond and kept staring, as if she wasn't even there. She stopped trying to get his attention and put her hands down. All of the sudden, the room changed, and it was the two of them in a bedroom. She recognized it immediately, it was the bedroom she saw in her vision back when she inhaled the herb. The bedroom she guessed was in District 4.
This time Gale looked like his usual self. He was dressed in casual clothes, not his usual black military attire. They sat on the large bed, facing each other. He put his hand on her face, stroking her cheek. She looked down, not able to look him in the eye he was staring so intently at her it made her slightly uncomfortable. He was staring at her like he wanted to push her down on the bed and have his way with her. While she wanted him to she wasn't used to that type of rough intimacy. It was easier to look down and not face him.
He removed his hand from her face and said, "Do you know how much I love you?"
"Show me" was all she managed to get out.
His lips were on hers in less than a second. Their kisses were so frantic and deep she began having trouble breathing she had to break away, gasping for breath. She removed his clothes as he did hers. Once her breathing returned to normal she leaned back in for another kiss. This time the kisses were more gentle and slow. He began stroking and squeezing her breasts while kissing her, she reaching down and stroking him hard and fast. After a few minutes she couldn't stand it any longer she needed him inside her and broke off their kiss and moved to the top of the bed, grabbing the back frame and holding on while Gale came up behind her and entered her from behind. It was rough and fast yet gentle at the same time. Katniss faced the wall while Gale held onto her hips. Once they were finished, both of them sweating and panting, he pulled her close from behind, wrapping his arms around her almost to the point of suffocating her. Breathing was becoming harder and harder, but all she could do was close her eyes, she loved feeling him so close. After a few seconds she wasn't able to breathe at all, she tried to speak but couldn't. She couldn't move her arms he was holding her so tight, as if a snake was constricting its prey. With his head on her shoulder he whispered, "Trust no one while you are in District 4."
Her eyes shot open and she awoke, panting heavily. She got up and got a drink of water, trying to calm her nerves. She wondered if this was just another meaningless dream, or something more.
She hoped it was the former and not the latter.
