Supporting Rumors - Part 60
Sam hummed softly to herself as she locked her car and made her way across to the main entrance. It was a nice building, not modern, but money had been spent on making it nothing but the best, then again, the prices they charged, they could certainly afford to. It was the best that Colorado could offer and even if their medical insurance and the Air Force, wasn't paying up she would have found the money somehow. Whatever it took, she wanted the best for Jack.
She was greeted politely by the reception staff and, once Jack's schedule was checked, was told he had just finished a pool therapy session. She continued through, her pace picking up as she neared her husband's room.
His door was partially open and she stopped at the sight of him through the doorway. He was staring out of the window, completely unaware of her presence. It was the expression on his face that prevented her from speaking - he looked so lost and lonely, his spirit seemingly depleted, that her heart ached. She wasn't sure how long she stood there watching him, taking in the soul weariness of his body language, and she wasn't sure just how long she would have continued to stand there if he hadn't suddenly swung away from the window, turning his chair deftly, startling her into movement.
His face lit as she stepped into the room, the glow in his eyes dispelling her heartache – at least for the time being.
He pulled her into his arms, bringing her down on his lap and literally snuggled her so close that she melted into his embrace. For a few minutes neither of them spoke, they were just content to hold and to feel.
She felt his breath on her neck as he nuzzled her and she brought her face around to his, capturing his mouth with her own as they sealed their love, savoring the taste of each other, slaking their thirst.
Sam felt quite breathless, her heart and her body hammering a pulse madly, and if truth be told, she also felt more than a little horny as her husband finally released her – just a little… She brought a hand up to stroke his face, leaning her forehead to touch his as his hand caressed her cheek. They exchanged another kiss, before Sam leaned back slightly, searching his eyes, trawling to plumb the depths of his soul.
"What?" he asked after a moment, his puzzlement showing clearly.
Sam smiled and shook her head. "Just glad to see you. Missed you."
"Me too," he moaned and pulled her closer, hugging her more tightly even than before.
Eventually Sam made to rise and Jack complained.
"I don't want to hurt you," she insisted.
"It's not like I can …" His words died and he shrugged. "Well, you're not exactly a heavy weight are you?" His gaze roved over her body as she rose and he raised a questioning eyebrow. "Are you eating properly? You're still losing weight aren't you?" he added accusingly.
"It's been kind of hectic lately but …"
"Ah, no buts … if you don't watch it you'll find yourself going for a full medical."
"A few pounds aren't exactly the end of the world, Jack," laughed Sam as she drew a chair close to him and sat down.
"You've been off-world? How long are you stood down for?"
"Forty-eight," admitted Sam.
"From?"
Sam shrugged then as she saw the warning light in his eyes she consulted her watch. "From six hours ago."
Jack quickly did the math. "You just got back from off-world six hours ago – post mission check, de-brief – drive here - so when did you eat and sleep?"
"I'm fine, not tired …"
"Sam, you cannot continue like this, you're going to burn yourself out. You didn't spend any of your stand-down at home last time."
Sam was surprised. She was going to have a go at him, question his seemingly somber mood, and here he was – accosting her. She opened her mouth to inject something into the conversation, when his thumb was pressed to her lips.
"Ah, not to mention if you're not one hundred percent on a mission you are not only endangering yourself, but your team."
Sam was more than a little shame faced as she gazed at him. She knew he was right, but she also knew she would go crazy if she couldn't spend more time with him. On each of her visits he'd been cheerful, enthusiastic even, about his progress, but she also knew it wasn't genuine, that something wasn't right and the unguarded moment she had just caught him in was more likely nearer an indication of his true feelings.
"You need to go home and rest."
"I can rest here, with you."
Jack squeezed her hand. "A quick nap won't recharge your batteries properly."
"And how much sleep did you get last night?" she enquired testily.
"Not a lot, but unlike you I can take a nap whenever I feel like it. Sam, please, as much as I want you here and as much as I miss you, please don't make me worry about you more than I have to."
Looking at her husband's earnest expression and hearing the passionate tone in his voice, Sam realized just how concerned he was about her. The last thing she wanted to do was cause him unnecessary aggravation. "Oh, Jack, I know it's hard, and it's no good telling you not to worry, we both know what it can be like out there, but you need to …"
"What? Please don't say focus my attention …"
Sam laughed. "No, I wasn't. I know what your attention span is." She giggled as she held up her finger and thumb to demonstrate a tiny gap.
He grinned and shook his head. "Too generous … err, what were you saying?"
Slapping his shoulder lightly, Sam leaned in to steal another kiss, until Jack broke away. "Ah, stop changing the subject …"
"Had a good teacher …" She nipped his lips. "Great teacher …" she murmured and kissed him again…
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Finally Jack persuaded Sam to go and get some proper rest. He threatened to speak to Landry if she so much as showed her nose in his room before the next afternoon and Sam reluctantly followed his orders. She was well on her way to the exit before she realized that he'd neatly turned her concern over him around.
The smiling receptionist was most helpful and quickly made the call to Jack's rehabilitation program manager while Sam waited patiently in the waiting room she was shown to.
She'd met Jack's program manager on more than one occasion and had come to respect this man who would take none of the crap that Jack threw. She felt a little silly at first as she voiced her doubts over her husband's wellbeing, but Stu Freund was quick to tell her he was only too happy to discuss any issues she might have.
"I appreciate your concerns. General O'Neill is adapting physically remarkably quickly, however he is pushing himself very hard. We feel he's becoming frustrated with what he sees as a lack of progress." He looked over at Sam and paused, tapping the pen he had in his hand against the notepad in front of him. "I know Doctor Hill has discussed the possibility of further return of sensation with you both."
Sam nodded and he continued. "Whilst we are happy the General is striving so hard to become independent, we feel he still needs to come to terms with his disability. As Doctor Hill explained, further progress could be limited to very minor movement, or even no movement at all."
"I know … she explained." Sam couldn't help looking down to hide the distress she knew showed in her eyes. This was exactly what she had been so afraid would happen. That Jack would get his hopes up, only to see them dashed.
"That's the worst case scenario, Mrs O'Neill. Hopefully your husband will regain movement and may yet even surprise us by walking out of here." Sam raised her eyes to find Stu smiling understandingly back at her. "It wouldn't be the first time that has happened with one of our patients, and with General O'Neill's drive to succeed, I know if anyone can do it, he can. But …" He emphasized the next few words, "but he isn't doing himself any good if he pushes himself too hard, or gets himself upset. He's doesn't appear to be sleeping very well and does tend to roam a lot on his own, especially at night. To be honest, his counselor is worried that what the General sees as his lack of progress may be causing him to become depressed."
Sam nodded and took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. "He isn't … he's trying to hide it, but I know he's feeling …" Sam hesitated. The word 'depressed' seemed to bear too much of a stigma, too much against the military grain. "He's a very private man and he finds it hard to share his feelings. I have know my husband for almost nine years and I still find it very hard to know what he is thinking at times – and that's when he's not trying to hide anything. He's been through an awful lot in his service and …" Sam stopped. She knew they had been given access to Jack's medical records, but just how much access, she wasn't sure.
"I appreciate that we may not be privy to all of the General's medical history, though what we do have is alarmingly extensive. His service in the Gulf and … treatment as a POW is well documented, along with other horrifying ordeals he has been subjected to, including the death of his son. Though some of the circumstances behind those incidents are somewhat vague, it is clear that your husband is a survivor Mrs O'Neill. What his rehabilitation team does all agree on is that the General is not someone who will sit and wait, and the battle is getting him to come to terms with his disability. We are not asking that he settles for anything less than a full life Mrs O'Neill, only that he accepts that his life may have to be lived differently. We can support him, teach him, but the final step on his road to full rehabilitation can only come from himself."
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Freund's words stayed with Sam on the drive home, but the buzz word in her brain was depression. She'd seen how he was for herself, just a short while ago and she recalled vividly the early years she had served with Jack, but most of all, the revelation behind Jack's first trip through the Stargate as a suicide mission – she knew exactly what a depressed Jack O'Neill could be capable of – and it frightened her.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
TBC
