Supporting Rumors - Part 84 - written jointly by Jackie O'Neill Nut and Flatkatsi
"I do not understand, O'Neill. Why do the people of your planet inflict such pain on themselves?"
Jack grunted, completely unable, and to be honest, uninterested, in yet again explaining to Teal'c why the drinking was worth the hangover. Anyway, he wasn't one hundred percent sure, right at this moment, that it was.
"Good morning." Sam breezed up to the table, putting down the plates she carried with an audible thump that had the two men wincing. "I thought you'd be hungry, so I made bacon, eggs and pancakes. Enjoy." She beamed brightly.
Narrowing his eyes even more than they already were, Jack glared up at her. "You're a cruel woman, Mrs O'Neill."
"I have no idea what you mean." Sam continued to beam, but Jack detected just a touch of malice in her tone. "It's a bright sunny morning. The birds are singing and the day can only get better." And with that she burst into a rendition of "Oh What a Beautiful Morning."
Jack covered his ears, but that brought his head down and thus his attention to his plate. His stomach lurched a little ... jeez, how come numb legs meant more of a hangover now? He never used to suffer like this...
"Good morning Daniel, slept well I trust?" Sam's cheerful voice rang out loud and clear.
The unintelligible reply brought a smile to Jack's face as he swung around a little to see just how badly Daniel was faring...
Staggering toward the table, Daniel groped his way onto a chair, auto pilot guiding him to the waiting coffee. He clenched it tightly, groaning as he tried to sip some.
Jack saw the evil smile on Sam's face as she reappeared in the dining room with another two plates. Thumping one down in front of Daniel, she then sat down with the other for herself.
"I know you like your eggs runny, Daniel," she said, smirking.
Daniel looked down and gave a wide smile. "Oh thank God, food." He fumbled for his fork and began to tuck in with gusto.
Catching Sam's eye, Jack smirked at her disappointed glare, only to regret having done so as soon as he heard her next words.
"Eat it before it gets cold, honey."
Jack manfully tried to tackle a bit of pancake, but it was hard when your hand was shaking ... and Sam's pancakes were a bit 'bouncy' at the best of times.
The table lurched suddenly as Teal'c rose in a hurry. "I am feeling quite unwell O'Neill ... I ..."
He tried to offer his friend a sympathetic look, but failed miserably as the Jaffa staggered from the table and shot off in the direction of the bathroom. "Well, waddayaknow ... his first hangover!"
"Eat," commanded Sam.
"Hey, I still outrank you ya know," whined Jack.
Sam shot him another glare and he raised the hand holding the fork. "Uh, okay ... okay ... I get it ... look eating ..." He hurriedly dug the fork into another bit of pancake.
He had a horrible sense of deja vu and for one awful moment thought he might be stuck in another time loop, forever doomed to eat bouncy pancakes and barely cooked eggs in lieu of Froot Loops. The few mouthfuls he managed before Sam took pity on him seemed to take forever, but finally her glare was beginning to soften...
He tried giving her a smile and thought it was working until she turned away when Teal'c returned to the table, groaning.
"I must apologize. I do not know what came over me."
"About a pint of vodka," mumbled Daniel with his mouthful.
Jack almost choked on the piece of pancake that was gathering age in his mouth and hurriedly spat it out into his napkin, earning another glare from the love of his life.
"Hey, aren't you guys eating?" Daniel reached out with his fork and snared some of Teal'c's bacon and Teal'c pushed the plate toward him, gratitude lighting his face.
Jack reached out his hand, about to do the same with his plate, but one look at Sam's face stopped him.
Finally, unable to take his friend's zest for food any longer, Jack groused, "Why are you so chipper?"
"What?" Daniel looked up, his mouth half full of egg. "I didn't drink much last night."
"Then why did you proceed to expel the contents of your stomach on my feet in the second night club?" Teal'c inquired, his face thunderous.
"I did?" Looking even more bewildered, Daniel returned to chewing, finishing his mouthful and taking another with evident relish.
Teal'c rose again. "I ..." He hurried out.
Sam half stood, as if about to follow him out, but Jack put a hand on her arm to stop her. "Leave him. He'll be okay." He turned to Daniel "Don't let on who spiked his drinks," he whispered.
His wife stared at him, aghast, her voice horrified. "You let someone spike his ... oh God, don't tell me it was you?"
Jack had the grace to look a little abashed. "No ... well, not really ..." He thought hurriedly ... was knowing as bad as doing?
"You spiked Teal'c's drinks, Jack!" exclaimed Daniel.
"Oh for cryin out loud, no, I didn't spike T's drinks!"
"What is this spiking of drinks to which you refer?"
There was complete silence that lasted endless seconds...
"I'll go make the bed."
Jack's cry of "Traitor!" followed Sam out of the room.
Her answer was tossed hurriedly over her shoulder as she disappeared. "No, just a tactical retreat, General."
Jack stared pleadingly at Daniel. 'Help me' was lit on his face, but Daniel's head ducked down to his food. Jack was surrounded by turncoats. He turned back to meet the accusing stare of his friend. Jack blurted out the first thing he thought of. "You see, T, there was this little bet. You understand about bets, don't you? You've made enough of them over the years at the SGC."
"Yes Jack, do tell, what was the bet?" chimed in Daniel.
"Ah" - Jack's brain still hadn't managed to catch up. He searched desperately for an answer - an answer that wouldn't get either him or Dave Dixon killed by an irate Jaffa. "That I could out drink you."
Teal'c's eyebrow rose. "Were you aware of this bet, O'Neill?" Before Jack could answer, he continued. "And of how ludicrous it was. I obviously have a far greater capacity for alcohol than you."
Jack swallowed and turned his chair, pulling out from the table and moving closer to the snickering Daniel. "Okay then, smart ass, who was the drunkest?"
Daniel's eyes shifted away as he drew back a little in the face of Jack's obvious ire. "Ah, I have no idea." It was remarkable, Jack thought, how he suddenly found the whole situation much less amusing now that Jack was within striking distance.
"I was not drunk at all, O'Neill, merely happy to be in the company of my friends and colleagues." If Jack hadn't seen Teal'c's behavior with his own eyes the night before, his solemn, dignified pronouncement would have made him think twice, but he knew... There wasn't much he remembered clearly, but one thing he did... He took a deep breath and sang as loudly as he could - "Off we go into the wild blue yonder." His resulting thumping head was worth it, just for the expression of embarrassment on the big man's face.
"Sound familiar?" He couldn't help his self-satisfied grin. "I suppose asking either of you for an unbiased opinion is expecting way too much. Let's face it – I'm the only one who remembers every detail of last night, and let me tell you..." He stabbed an accusing finger at them. "I'd be a bit careful around a certain Master Sergeant. Wouldn't want to go slap on the iris just because someone was less than sympathetic when he was in need of a helping hand."
Teal'c's small groan of distress almost made Jack's whole painful morning worthwhile.
"Speaking of an unbiased opinion," Jack paused, then bellowed, "Sammmmm," wincing as the sound of his own voice reverberated from one ear to the other, banging his brain along the way.
"I'm busy."
Her voice didn't sound that far away. Okay, the witch had been listening ... that was a given... "Who was the most rat ... who was drunkest?"
Her face popped around the doorway, her expression an absolute picture. "You all staggered in here after waking up the entire neighborhood and you want me to vote on who was the biggest idiot?"
Well, put like that ... no he didn't...
Daniel let out a snicker of amusement that was quickly stifled as Jack glared at him and rolled his chair a touch closer.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Sam decided it was time to intervene, being careful to conceal the fact she had been laughing hysterically the whole time she was listening at the door, she came fully into the room. "I think it's safe to say you were all completely and utterly wasted."
She began to clear the plates from the table, the clattering making all three men shudder and Jack swung his chair to get out of the way, catching Sam's foot with his wheel. She let the plates drop onto the table with a bang and yelped out in pain.
"Oh God, Sam, I'm sorry hon ... are you okay? I didn't mean to..."
Sam hobbled to sit down on the nearest chair rubbing her ankle. "It's okay, you just caught me on the same spot you did last night."
"I hit you last night?" Jack's face paled dramatically.
Sam saw his face and quickly shook her head. "No, well, not on purpose ... when you kicked me ..."
"I kicked you?"
"What is this you speak of?" Teal'c rose, drawing himself to his full height.
"He kicked you?" asked Daniel, standing as well.
"Hey, hold on ... I don't remember ..." Jack's face scrunched up in thought.
Sam hurried to explain herself. "No, it's okay. He didn't do it on purpose. Don't you remember Jack? Your leg?"
Jack looked genuinely puzzled. "My leg? I kicked you with this?" He indicated his right leg with his hand.
"No, you ass, you kicked me with the other one. Don't you remember?"
Jack looked down at his left leg. "I thought ..." His face took on a look of distress. "I thought I'd dreamed it."
Grasping his shoulder, Sam bent to reassure him. "No, it really moved."
"Uh, you guys were going to tell us this, when exactly?"
Sam shrugged. "I thought Jack had told you while I was in the kitchen. I didn't realize he didn't remember ..."
"It really moved?" asked Jack, his voice sounding a little off.
"Yes, it really moved. It's a good sign isn't it?" She smiled encouragingly.
"Indeed, it begins as it was with your right leg, O'Neill," offered Teal'c, his smile bright as he moved to stand beside Jack.
"Well, you had better hurry it up and get some feeling in it," said Sam. The men looked at her questioningly. "Then I can kick you back." She gave a small laugh. "It hurts you know?"
"Want me to kiss it better?" offered Jack, the glint in his eyes showed he was recovering nicely from the shock.
Sam's smile broadened as she settled herself onto his lap. "Oh, I can think of better ways you can make it up to me ..." She waited a full beat before laying down her hand. "You guys can take me shopping and buy lunch."
"Uh, don't we have to be somewhere?" squeaked Daniel, giving Teal'c a warning glance.
"I do not know of such a place Daniel Jackson. However, if the wife of O'Neill wishes to shop, then so she shall."
Daniel and Jack both groaned at Teal'c's words.
"Jaffa revenge," mumbled Jack as Sam burst into laughter.
"I am sorry O'Neill, I did not capture what you said?" inquired Teal'c politely.
Jack bit back the response on the tip of his tongue ... and shrugged instead.
"Financial return is an unpleasant difficulty, O'Neill."
Jack frowned. "Teal'c ... uh, the expression is payback is a bitch."
"That is what I said O'Neill."
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Sam couldn't help the gleeful expression she wore as she finally ushered the reluctant men out of the house, closing the door with a bang. She swung the car keys around in her fingers and watched with satisfaction as Jack winced, quickly donning his sunglasses. "Neither of you are fit to drive, so I'll have to do it I suppose." She quickly reached the gate and swung it open...
The wood shuddered and the whole thing lurched to one side before hitting the ground with a dramatic bang.
Sam stood opened mouthed for all of a count of two. "Daaaaaaaaniel!" she bellowed.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
TBC
