DISCLAIMER: HG Characters do not belong to me.

A/N: To reviewer Guest: Yes you were correct that Gale had serious concerns about Dez's dependence on him. I look at her dependence as part of her immaturity, her being 5-6 years younger than him.

I will try to update one more time before WED. The next week and a half will be busy, so some updates may come, but none will come after May 30 for I will be on vacation.

Chapter 63-Peeta

He looks at her with hope, hope that she has finally come back to him after all this time. "You've come back" he says softly, still shocked that he is seeing her face.

"Yeah" Katniss says just as softly. It is still hard for her to speak, for so much emotion is inside her. The last time she saw him, she was still in love with him. But now, her feelings have changed significantly.

"Your hair is different, I like it" Peeta says with a warm smile.

"Thanks" she says nervously, running her hand through it. "It was a lot shorter last year, I cut it just above my shoulder."

He comes over and hugs her, holding her tight. She puts her arms around him but does so timidly. He senses her uneasiness.

"Do you want to go inside?" he asks.

"Yes."

She follows him inside to their home. When she goes inside she sees that absolutely nothing has changed. All of their belongings still in the exact same place as they were the day she left.

She sets her backpack down in the kitchen as she takes a seat across from him at the table.

"I've missed you. I never thought you would be gone as long as you were. You've been gone…..16 months." He pauses before saying the exact amount of time she has been away.

She looks down and says, "I wasn't expecting to be gone that long either."

"Were you able to figure things out? Did you finally make a decision about us?"

"Yes, it's why I am here."

A smile forms across his face, that look of hope again. This time looking even more confident. "I knew it. I knew that Panem Daily article was garbage. I knew you'd come back home."

Katniss is taken aback. "You saw the Panem Daily article?" desperately hoping he had not seen it.

"Yeah, I heard Delly and her brother talking about it one day at the bakery. She tried to keep it from me but I made her show me the article. I can't believe Ceasar is now writing for a newspaper."

"I guess he figured it would be the best option for him now, a way to stay in the victor's lives. And other famous people in Panem" Katniss says.

"Doesn't mean he has to write about things that aren't true."

"Peeta-the thing is, some of it was true."

"What do you mean?" he says with a look of utter confusion.

"Well, I haven't been in District 12 for a long time and I am pursuing a teaching career and I was in District 4."

"Yeah, but you are here now because you are going to do your teaching experience in District 12 right?"

"How did you know I was going to do my teaching experience?"

"Haymitch told me that you were in District 4, maybe six months after we last spoke. He told me about the PES program you enrolled in and how the program required a teaching experience."

Katniss was not surprised to hear that Haymitch knew about her whereabouts, being close Paylor and her associates. She was even less surprised to hear that he told Peeta what he found out.

Obviously Haymitch did not find out from Paylor the truth about her and Gale.

"Peeta I can't do my teaching experience in District 12."

"Why not? We have a school here."

"It's not a school run by PES. I have to be working under a PES teacher in order to receive my certification. Trust me PES wants to be in District 12, they have asked me repeatedly to teach here once I am finished."

"So you'll be back for good in a few months once your teaching experience is over?"

She looks down, unable to look him in the eye as she says, "No."

"No?" he says incredulously.

She looks up and sees he has a crushed look on his face. Her heart is breaking, knowing what she is about to say is going to destroy him.

"I am not here to return to 12. I came here to pack up my stuff and send it to District 9."

"District 9?"

"Yes, that's where I will be doing my teaching experience."

He has a look of thought on his face and he says, "You want to be close to where the Natives are?"

"Part of the reason. Another is the fact that I really liked the people who interviewed me and….because it was one of the few districts that would have me."

He looks at her in confusion, she quickly explains about what happened with the interviews. Afterwards, Peeta says, "I'm sorry you didn't get an offer in District 4. But why didn't you go to District 11? It is closer to here."

"Peeta-I-I'm not planning on ever coming back here. I came here-to say goodbye."

His face falls again, looking even more crushed than before. "You're ending it?"

"Yes" she says tears starting to fall down her face.

"Why?"

"I can't be here anymore. There is just-too many bad memories here."

"But the book, your memories of good things….that helped you."

"It did, but it only-kept me breathing, I wasn't living Peeta."

"What do you mean?" He looks completely confused and beginning to look angry and Katniss knows he hardly ever gets angry.

"When Prim died and I killed Coin, I had nothing left. I didn't even have you, not knowing if you'd ever be the same. I was sent here. I had nowhere else to go. I was facing the darkest time of my life when I came back here-alone. And then you came back. You lifted me out of the darkness, you were my light. My dandelion in the spring. You made me realize-life can go on. You and I grew back together and I admitted to you that I loved you. I loved you because you helped me during my darkest time. I will never forget that. I needed your kindness and, your calmness to help me heal."

"So what changed? What made you realize you weren't living here in 12?" He still has a look of anger in his eyes.

"When I was in the wild territory, I began to see things differently. I realized I wanted-needed more out of life. It also made me realize there is a reason I never committed to you the way I should have. Never married you, never had children with you."

Suddenly he gets a look of understanding on his face. His look going from anger to a blank expression, void of emotion. He says in a calm tone of voice, "It's because of Gale isn't it?

The tears still continuing to fall, Katniss nods her head answering his question. Between sobs she says, "You told-him-that day-in-in Tigris's basement that-that I loved him. You were right."

"And he said you would chose the person you couldn't live without."

She nods her head again, unable to speak.

"So did you make your choice?" his voice still calm. Too calm for her liking.

"Yes" she manages to say between her sobs.

"So everything in the article was true then?"

"No" she says quickly, suddenly calming herself down and able to speak. "We were not together last summer. We've only been together for-two weeks if that."

"If that? If that!" he shouts, no longer remaining calm.

"I'm sorry Peeta. I truly am" she says feeling guilty for her poor choice of words.

"I thought he was engaged to someone else?" he hisses in response.

"He was."

He gets a look of realization on his face again and says, "He ended things with her to be with you?"

"Yes."

He abruptly stands up and walks away from the table, startling her. She watches him as he walks to the kitchen sink and looks out the window. He has a look of utter defeat on his face. Her tears begin to fall again, this time harder than before. She doesn't think she has cried this hard since Buttercup returned to District 12 and she came to terms with the fact that Prim was gone and wasn't coming back.

"The day I went with you and your Mom to the train station in District 9, when you got on that train and left, I had this, this feeling. It was a feeling I never felt before. But I knew that the next time I saw you, things between us would not be the same."

She doesn't respond, unable to due to her uncontrollable crying. He turns around looks at her. He sees she starts to look nauseous from crying so hard.

He comes over to her and puts a hand on her shoulder and says, "Why don't you go in the spare room and lay down?"

"Peeta-"she says between her sobs.

"I mean it Katniss. Go lay down. You look awful."

She can't argue with him because she did feel awful. She had been crying so hard her head felt as if it were about to explode and she was feeling like she was about to throw up. She slowly stands up and Peeta helps her into the guest bedroom, grabbing her backpack for her.

She lays down on the bed, takes two morphling pills and cries herself to sleep.


When she wakes up, she sees it is 6 pm. Realizing she slept for quite a while, she quickly gets up and walks down into the main room. She sees boxes on the floor packed up. Peeta comes out from the kitchen and says, "I packed up some of your things while you were sleeping."

"Peeta-I don't know what to say."

"Haymitch helped me. It's why so many boxes were packed."

"Is he at home?"

"He is."

She figures she will have to stop by before she leaves, knowing that conversation is not going to be a good one.

"Thank you" she says appreciatively.

"When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow morning."

"Well, I may go stay over at Haymitch's then tonight, I just-I don't know if I can be here if you are here."

"I will go to Haymitch's. See if I can stay at his place. If not, I will go to Greasy Sae's. She'll have me."

He nods his head. "If you put the address of where you want this stuff sent, Haymitch and I will make sure it gets there."

"Thanks. Peeta-I-I don't know how to make things right between us." She feels she has to say something to help ease his pain.

"I don't know if you can. One of us was going to get our hearts broken. All this time I just thought it was him that's all."

She looks down, forcing herself not to cry again. She begins repeating the Sioux prayer in her head, helping to calm her nerves. She has been silently repeating the chant over and over in her head since being captured by Geffen.

Peeta sees she is trying to calm herself and says, "Katniss-look at me."

She forces herself to open her eyes and look up at him. She looks at him with sadness.

"I love you. I'll always love you. It's because I love you that I know I have to let you go. I'd rather you be happy than be miserable with me. But I love you too much to just forget. I know that's what you want me to do."

"Peeta-"

"It's the truth Katniss, admit it."

She takes a deep breath and says, "Peeta, you are one of the best people I've ever known. Things happen for a reason. Fate brought us together in the games. You and I share a bond that can never be broken or replaced. But, you know my feelings were never quite as strong as yours. My love for you was real, please don't doubt that. It just wasn't strong enough. I wish it could have been. I never allowed myself to admit my feelings for Gale and pushed him off to the side and put you first. I had to make sure you would be alright. From the moment we went back into the arena I put you first. I don't regret it, saving you was the only option. I don't want you to forget. I want you to remember that you saved me. You saved me in the arena, you saved me when you came back here, and you saved me when you inadvertently brought back into my life my Mother and Gale. You were right when you said that they needed me and I needed them. I wish things could have been different, I know we can never just be friends, I can't have it all. I just want you to remember, you saved my life in so many ways. I will never forget what you have done for me. You have always put my feelings before your own, it's why I don't deserve you. You deserve so much more than what I can give."

He is crying, the tears falling rapidly. He quickly walks out of the room, leaving her by herself.

She stands there for a few moments, contemplating if she should go after him, she decides not to and begins going through the boxes Peeta and Haymitch packed up. She labels some of the boxes with her address in District 9 and labels some of them with her Mother's address.

She walks over to Haymitch's house, it is 7:30 and she is starving, hoping he has some food to eat.

When she knocks on the door, he answers and says, "Well, well, well. Look who it is. You've finally decided to grace us with your presence."

"Can I come in?"

"Suit yourself" and he moves aside to let her pass.

Once inside she turns to Haymitch and says, "Thanks for helping Peeta pack up my stuff."

"Well, I think it is probably best if you get your stuff out of there as quickly as possible. Since you are throwing away everything the two of you had, to be with Hawthorne."

"Haymitch-"

"Shut up Katniss! I'm talking. I usually like being right, but it is killing me to see that I was right about you. When I said that you never deserved to be with someone as good as Peeta."

"You were right" she says blankly.

He gives her a seething look as he takes a sip of alcohol from his glass. "So why Hawthorne then?"

"It is not just about Gale. I'm leaving District 12 because I want more in my life. I want a job beyond what is just available here."

"Bullshit! You might have needed to leave District 12 to become a teacher, but you know you could have been a teacher here."

"Fine. I don't want to be a teacher here. I don't want to live in District 12 anymore."

"And you didn't want Peeta to come with you."

"No. His place is here."

"You didn't let him make that decision."

"He wouldn't have made the right decision. He would have done what I would have wanted."

He snickers and takes another sip, this sip lasting longer, once he finishes he says, "This is all about Hawthorne Katniss admit it."

"No, I won't, because you are wrong."

"You love him." He says it as a statement, not a question.

"Yes."

"So how am I wrong?"

"Gale is not the reason I chose to leave District 12. If I didn't get into PES's program, I was going to go live with the Native's. I probably never would have seen Gale again."

Haymitch looks at Katniss in disbelief and says, "Are you serious?"

"Yes."

He shakes his head at her in disbelief and says, "I will never understand you. I care about you, that will never change, but I don't understand you. I'm going in my room to finish my night, I'll take you to the train station in the morning. What time do you want me to be ready by?"

"8:30 okay?"

"Okay." And he walks up to his room leaving her alone.

She goes into his kitchen and fixes herself something to eat. She then watches some TV before crashing on his couch for the night. The next morning, she wakens at 6 am. She takes a shower in his guest bathroom and decides to go for a quick walk in the woods before they leave.

When she walks outside of Haymitch's house, she sees a small box sitting on his front step. She sees her name on the box in Peeta's handwriting and opens it. Inside is her Father's hunting jacket, her old bow and arrows and a note. She opens the note and reads:

I thought you should have this in District 9. Good luck. I know you will do great. I hope you find happiness. I will miss you. You'll miss me. True or False?"

Love,

Peeta

"True." She says softly and places the note in the pocket of her Father's jacket and puts it on. Even though it will probably get warm today it is cooler so early in the morning. She grabs the bow and arrows and takes a final walk through the woods. While walking she listens to the birds, looks at the trees around her, taking it all in for the last time.

She arrives back at Haymitch's at 7:45 am. She sees he is waiting for her in the kitchen and has breakfast ready.

"Breakfast?" Katniss asks surprised he is even awake, let alone ready with food ready.

"Yeah. I can do some cooking you know. I started my night early so I was early to rise" he says with a grin on his face.

"It looks great" she says as she sits and begins eating. They chat about things not related to Peeta or Gale, Katniss thankful that Haymitch no longer wants to talk her love life.

He walks with her into town, on the way, she asks if they could make one stop.

"Do we have time?" he asks.

"Yeah, my train doesn't leave until 11 am."

"Where are we going?"

"Greasy Sae's."

While Katniss knows pretty much all of the residents currently living in District 12, she is not close with any of them. Greasy Sae however, is the one person she considers a friend. Besides Peeta and Haymitch, she didn't really talk to anyone else in the district, except her. She wanted to properly say goodbye.

It was slightly after 9 am when they arrive at her house, Haymitch waiting outside pulling out his flask while she approaches Greasy Sae's door.

She knocks and waits. After a few minutes Katniss sees Greasy Sae's Granddaughter answer the door and say, "Katniss? What do you want?"

Katniss not surprised in the least by her Granddaughter's odd behavior says, "Is your Grandmother home?"

"Yeah, hold on" and she disappears shutting the door behind her. After a few moments Greasy Sae opens up the door and says, "Come in, hurry up girl."

Katniss quickly goes inside. Greasy Sae looks at her with a smile and says, "You decided to pay me a visit I see."

Katniss takes a seat and explains why she has come and that she has come to say goodbye. After she is finished, she can't tell what Greasy Sae is thinking, for she has an unreadable look on her face.

Katniss getting apprehensive thinking she yet again disappointed another person says, "What are you thinking?"

"That I am going to miss you."

Katniss gives a small smile and says, "I'm going to miss you too. I never thanked you for what you did for me when I first came back here."

Greasy Sae holds up a hand, not wanting Katniss to continue and says, "It was the least I could do. I hated seeing you like that."

"Well, I just want you to know I won't forget what you did for me."

"So you are going to be with Gale then huh?"

"Not while I do my teaching assignment. Hopefully after."

"I'm glad you two found each other again. That boy always loved you. I think everyone in the hob saw that except you."

"You don't think I'm a terrible person for leaving Peeta?"

"A lot more people each year are returning to 12, hopefully someday Peeta can find happiness again."

"Can you, keep an eye out for him? Make sure he is okay?"

"Sure."

Katniss hugs her as a way of showing her appreciation. When Katniss ends the embrace Greasy Sae says, "Tell Gale he needs to write me more often."

"I will I promise."

"Goodbye Katniss."

"Goodbye Sae."


When Katniss reaches the train station with Haymitch, he tells her that he will make sure the boxes she marked will get mailed by tomorrow.

"Thanks Haymitch."

"So, I don't know when I will see you again. Perhaps in the Capitol."

"I'll write. I don't have my phone number in District 9 yet, but I will send it to you."

"Okay then" he says nodding his head.

"Haymitch-please take care of Peeta."

He gives her a hard look. A look that says she is making the biggest mistake of her life getting on that train and leaving District 12.

"You know I will."

"Thanks" and she reaches for him for a hug, surprised when he accepts the embrace. After the hug ends she turns and walks away.

"Katniss!" Haymitch calls out while she walks to the front entrance. She turns around and looks back at him.

"Good luck in District 9. You'll make one hell of a teacher."

She smiles at him and gives a final wave before turning around and heading onto the train.

When the train departs, she looks intently out the window, looking at the scenery of District 12 for the last time. She stares the entire train ride out of the District, she tries to memorize every tree, every hill she sees. Her way of saying goodbye to the place she once called home.