CHAPTER 6: SOUTH AMERICA

ComicFreak1007: Sorry I haven't been uploading in a long time. Long story. Here's Chapter 6! I'll make it up to you. Somehow.

When they finally made it to South America, Calvin, Hobbes and the three alter egos threw up. After that, they drowned people with noodles. After that, they went to a pizza place at lunch. C'mon, South America has to have pizza too, right?

"I want pepperoni!" Calvin said.

"Let's have anchovies." Hobbes said.

"NO, OLIVES!" Tracer Bullet screamed.

"NO, Spicy lava!" Spaceman said.

Everyone looked at Spaceman Spiff like he is a monkey at a zoo.

"What planet are you from?" Hobbes asked.

"Planet zok." Spaceman Spiff replied.

"Man, I don't even know you anymore!" Calvin said. They ordered pizza with a variety of their favorite toppings.

After lunch, they went to see a movie. Actually, it wasn't a movie. It was an hour long documentary on Brazil.

After a boring documentary, they stayed at a hotel. Everything was South American style. When Calvin woke up in the morning, he received a note. It was from Alex! Calvin read it out loud.

Dear Calvin,

I'm finally going to come visit you guys, but it's only for a limited time. If I don't get back to my cave in 24 hours, my cave will be blocked with snow and I'll never get back in! This will be a surprise for Hobbes, so keep it a secret, okay? Thanks! I'll find someway to come live with you guys forever and leave my cave…someday.

Your friend,

Alex.

"SHE'S COMING BACK!" Calvin shouted.

He woke up the others.

"Who's coming back?" Hobbes asked.

"Uh…it's a song!" Calvin lied. "She's coming back! Uh- Uh- Uh! Oh no-oooo!"

After everyone ate breakfast, they were back on the road.

"Where are going this time Calvin?" Tracer Bullet asked.

"Africa." Calvin replied. "Here we go!"

Calvin started the time machine and they were off.

"I used to live in Africa." Tracer said.

"You did?" Hobbes said.

"I live in Africa too, but I live in Kenya."

"Kenya huh?" Tracer said.

"Hey guys, we're here!" Calvin said, but everyone else was listening to tracer's stories.

"Then, I killed 12 tigers, and had them for breakfast, dinner, and lunch for two weeks!" Tracer explained.

"I'm very intrigued." Hobbes said.

"Um, guys?" Calvin said.

"Yes?" Hobbes said. Everyone else just listened to Tracer's stories.

Calvin winked at Hobbes and said "Holy cow! There's a meteor a size of a 456 feet iceberg!"

"You're right, Calvin! It's hurling RIGHT AT US!"

That's when Calvin's alter egos turned around and screamed. Calvin laughed.

"I was trying to get your attention." Calvin said.

"We're in Africa."

"Let's head to the all you can eat buffet!" Tracer said.

"What do they have?" Calvin asked.

"Let's see…insects. Grasshoppers, crickets, cockroaches, fireflies, mm-mmm…and big fat juicy grubs that will be an adventure for your esophagus."

Hobbes was about to throw up, but Calvin stopped him. "Is there anything else?" Calvin asked.

"Well, there's tiger jerky…"

"Ahem." Tracer turned around and saw Hobbes growling.

"This jerky is not really made out of tiger meat…It's beef jerky, and it's good for tigers and humans…mostly tigers. I made it myself." Tracer said.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Everyone ran for some tiger jerky.

Everyone ate some tiger jerky. Everyone except Hobbes.

"This is..so good, Tracer." Calvin said.

"What's in it?"

"Oh, just some meat, barbecue, salt, garlic…"

"Oh, this is really good." Stupendous said.

"Also, some brussel sprouts, fish oil, and into pig feet."

"Okay, now I just lost my appetite." Stupendous said.

Everyone did the same.

Later that day, Calvin was complaining about being. He was sick, and it's not a minor cold.

Tracer found his recipe book. He looked up the recipe for tiger jerky. It was on page 400. At the bottom of the recipe for tiger jerky, it said: side effects include stomachaches, chest pains, felling tired in the legs and complaining about being sick who is a six year old. Everyone looked at Calvin. "What?" Calvin asked. So Calvin had to stay in bed for the rest of the day.

Calvin: Ah yes, Africa…the wild animals, great comfort food, and kids play all the time, but that's where you're wrong my friends…WRONG! Do not let this fool you! The animals are too wild…you wouldn't even survive thirty seconds intruding an animal's home without getting trampled on! Yeah sure, kids play a lot in Africa, but they work too! They even help their parents, and working in farms. The foods are not that great! If I eat another cantaloupe soup, I'm gonna HEAVE! Yuck!

"WE HATE AFRICA YES WE DO! WE HATE AFRICA HOW ABOUT YOU!"

"Not me." Said the others.

Calvin growled.

"Hey Calvin, did you bring me the tuna chips I wanted?" Hobbes asked.

"Sure, help yourself."

Hobbes took a nibble on the chip and said "I don't like the tuna garlic flavor!"

"My bad, I must've gotten the wrong flavor."

Calvin gave Hobbes another flavor of the tuna chips. Hobbes took a bite of the chips, and spit it out. "This is the brownie caribou flavor!"

"Good, let's get started on drowning people in noodles, and NOT COMPLAINING LIKE MENIACAL BOOBS, COMPLAINING ABOUT WHICH FLAVOR OF TUNA CHIPS!"

"Hey." Hobbes said.

At the end of the day, Calvin was down to one person.

"Which flavor should I drown this person in: clam chowder, or creamed chicken?"

"Surprise me. Let's get this over with, I'm pooped over here!" Spaceman complained.

"Yeah, and I'm the leader of the boogy creature from an uncharted planet." Calvin muttered.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. I'm done. Let's get some rest." Everyone went to sleep early that night. Hoping that tomorrow would be better.